Minnesota Foul Play-by-play Anthony Varriano, Michael Haase, Esq., and Bradley Haase

On the latest episode of the Minnesota Foul Play-by-play podcast, NBA2K expert and Anthony’s favorite cousin, Joel, joins the show to preview the Western Conference Semifinals between the Denver Nuggets and our Minnesota Timberwolves. Anthony tells you why Karl-Anthony Towns is the key to victory and why we're comfortable with that. Mike tells us whether the Twins have taken advantage of a weak stretch in their schedule or if they’re figuring out how to hit. And we can't help but talk about the Vikings' 2024 NFL Draft class and undrafted free agents.
Anthony's Keys to a Wolves Win
* Karl-Anthony Towns needs to "stop fuckin' foulin'," as Anthony Edwards so elegantly said in a recent postgame presser. Towns only played in the first of four regular season games against the Nuggets (a win). He went 7-for-19 from the field, (1-for-4 from three), and hit all six of his free throws. He also grabbed eight boards, dished four assists, had two steals, just one turnover and only two fouls. That's all the Wolves should need from him to win. The threat of Towns' shooting ability will stretch the Denver defense and open up more space for driving, cutting, and passing lanes. Everyone is more open when KAT is on the court.
* The Wolves need to limit Denver's second chances. Denver has the highest offensive rebound chance percentage, so cleaning up the defensive glass will be imperative. Minnesota only beat Denver on the boards in the game Towns played, which is another reason why he must stay out of foul trouble.
* Minnesota needs to attack the rack. In their two victories over Denver, the Timberwolves got to the free-throw line almost twice as often as they did in their losses. The Wolves shot more than 30 free throws in three of the four victories over the Suns. They shot 37 free ones to beat the Nuggets without Towns during the regular season. One foul shot per three field goal attempts should be a winning pace for the Wolves.


Get full access to Anthony Varriano’s Substack at gogonzojournal.substack.com/subscribe

We predict what the Minnesota Vikings will do in the first round of the 2024 NFL Draft, give you a Timberwolves' playoff preview, bemoan the silent bats of the Minnesota Twins, and tell you why softball is way better than baseball.
Watch on our YouTube channel, where we also provide #JustThePiP -- a playlist providing just the picture-in-picture from AEW Dynamite, AEW Rampage, and AEW Collision.
With the Twins and Dodgers on, the Florida Gator softball team stole our attention by overcoming a 5-1 deficit to beat LSU in an extra inning. We'll be watching #3 Duke University takes on Clemson, Friday.


Get full access to Anthony Varriano’s Substack at gogonzojournal.substack.com/subscribe

We talk about how the Chicago Bears can screw up the 2024 NFL Draft, what we'd accept in a Justin Jefferson trade, and what quarterback the Vikings should draft.


Get full access to Anthony Varriano’s Substack at gogonzojournal.substack.com/subscribe

The Minnesota Vikings made so many moves and have such a huge opportunity to move up in the 2024 NFL Draft that we hardly talk about the surging Minnesota Wild, who pulled within four points of a playoff spot with a regulation win over Anaheim.
Brian Flores is finally getting the players he wants and needs. Blake Cashman. Andrew Van Ginkel. Jonathan Greenard. That should excite Minnesota Vikings fans and scare every other team in the NFL.



Get full access to Anthony Varriano’s Substack at gogonzojournal.substack.com/subscribe

The Minnesota Vikings look to be replacing the franchise's best quarterback with a Sam Darnold/Zach Wilson stopgap that will fail to stop the bleeding or fill the gap in our collective heart. Will they at least move up to draft one of the top three quarterbacks, or will they fail to develop one selected later in the draft?
There is hope, however, in an overlooked number two starter for the Minnesota Twins, who won a playoff series for the first time in a quarter century, cut payroll, and extended blackouts by running their TV deal back with Bally Sports (of Diamond Sports Group, a subsidiary of the evil Sinclair Broadcast Group). But Byron Buxton and Royce Lewis aren't hurt yet, and the finally excellent bullpen has yet to be overworked. If that doesn't do it for you, here's a picture of Walker Jenkins, the Twins' top prospect.
We also celebrate a successful fire sale by Minnesota Wild GM Bill Guerin at the NHL Trade Deadline. Guerin made room on the roster for one (Marat Khusnutdinov) of two Russian prospects (Danila Yurov) we pray pan out, so when they share the ice with Kirill Kaprizov we can call the line the Molotov Cocktail because they set the ice on fire and their names end in -ov.
Rudy's right. The refs lay bets against the Timberwolves. We get no calls...except phantom fouls called against us.
And as Taylor Heise goes, so goes PWHL Minnesota.


Get full access to Anthony Varriano’s Substack at gogonzojournal.substack.com/subscribe

NBA2K expert Joel Varriano talks about Minnesota Timberwolves trades that could happen and Karl-Anthony Towns trades that won’t. Also a PWHL Minnesota update, and a quick Twins update.
Second Annual KAT Trade Deadline Show
Anthony’s favorite cousin and NBA2K expert Joel Varriano stops by to tell us some Timberwolves trades that could happen and gives us a Karl-Anthony Towns trade that won’t happen every time KAT does something KAT in the game at Brooklyn. 
* KAT Things
* Arms up asking for a foul
* Fouling
* Palms up after being called for a foul
* Reaching out-of-bounds for a ball off the rim to pad his rebound stats
* Shooting contested shots…unless he makes them
* Falling down behind the play
* Turnovers
* That out-of-control dribble drive “move” of his
* Being pushed out onto his defensive assignment by Rudy
* KAT Trades
* Worst place? Washington.
* Best place? Miami.
* Place we’d love watching most? Miami.
* Place where we’d get to play against him a bunch? Portland.
* Place where he has to play Jimmy Butler a bunch? Atlanta.
PWHL Minnesota Update
Sadly, Minnesota is no longer in first place after a loss to Montreal at home, Wednesday night. The ladies from the lakes were stymied by a familiar foe. PWHL Montreal Goaltender Elaine Chuli was simply standing on her head, finishing with 41 saves on 42 shots, some of which I still can’t believe, and some of which I don’t think made it to the stat sheet. She beat the Minnesota Whitecaps 4-3 in overtime to win the PHF Isobel Cup last season and is a former PHF Goaltender of the Year. 
* Announced attendance was over 5,000, which is pretty great for a Wednesday night game 
* Energy and environment are still great thanks to so many girls hockey teams from around the cities.
* Certainly a playoff team, but there’s a real rival in Montreal, and they look fabulous doing it in their cream and burgundy sweaters. 
Joe Mauer and the New Michael A. Taylor in Making
Mike tells us what the Twins are doing in the amount of time it took Byron Buxton to run the bases on the fastest inside-the-park homer ever recorded.
* Joe Mauer is a winner
* First-ballot Hall of Famer, and deservedly so.
* The Yankees couldn’t protect Bubba Thompson, so he’s the new Byron Buxton backup of the future
* Anyone who plays MLB The Show knows he’s the fastest player in the game.


Get full access to Anthony Varriano’s Substack at gogonzojournal.substack.com/subscribe