The Unnamed Groom Ben and Benjy Do the News

Why do stories need pesky details like names, ages, dates and any proof they actually happened? Well the great news is they apparently don't if they're regurgitated from Reddit. We also have an update on Wally the Walrus who is causing havoc with the locals, we hear about probably the worst weight loss invention ever and one man who has quite literally, given shit to the police.