Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler Richard Ostler

My friend Dr. Kerry Spencer Pray (lives in Maryland, Associate Professor at Sevenson University, married to her wife Heather, mother of two, taught at BYU for 15 years, no longer practicing Mormon) joins us to share her story. Dr. Pray talks about her prior marriage to her former husband (they both are gay), why that marriage ended (they are on good terms), and how she found hope and happiness as she made her way forward. Dr. Pray talks about the importance of writing your own story outside of the expectations of others—and how each queer story is unique, needed, and valued.

Dr. Pray talks about when she came out there were almost no stories of gay Latter-day Saint women and the importance of stories which led to her most recent book call “The Book of Queer Mormon Joy” which contains about 30 queer stories—focusing on how these individuals are finding joy.

I’m grateful for Dr. Pray bravely sharing some of her story and also her work as editor of this new book—and all her work in our broad community to bring more understanding and support. Thank you Dr. Pray—so glad to have you on the podcast!

Links:

The Book of Queer Mormon Joy at Signature Books: www.signaturebooks.com/books/p/the-book-of-queer-mormon-joy

The Book of Queer Mormon Joy at Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1560854707

I Spoke To You in Silence at Amazon: hwww.amazon.com/dp/164769079X

Dr. Pray Twitter: @Swilua

Dr Pray on Instagram: @Swilua_

This episode is guest-hosted by Tonya Miller. Tonya interviews Jaci Wightman, who shares her compelling story of recovery from dependence on food, and on sugar in particular. Jaci describes the ways that she felt prepared and guided in her journey, which began with her learning that sugar addiction is very real. Jaci talks about being resistant to this idea for years before allowing herself to trust that the Lord was guiding her to the relief she so badly needed from her dependence. Jaci also provides insights into why her reliance on food developed, and how healing from her dependence has had nothing to do with dieting or attaining a certain body shape or size.

I am grateful for Jaci's courage and for the hopeful perspective she brings to this topic. Jaci discusses the societal trends and pressures that influence so many people negatively and shares ideas for approaching and dismantling the shame that often interferes with our ability to see ourselves as God does. Jaci talks about feeling called to teach others about sugar addiction and to support them in their own healing.

I feel very hopeful that this podcast will be a springboard that can help us examine our own attitudes, and associated behaviors, not only about food and body image, but also about other compulsions that we may turn to, instead of to the Savior, for help and comfort. I am glad there are people like Jaci, who not only have the experience, but also the expertise, to help all of us be more mindful and aware around this topic. Jaci's website and other social media links are shared below. Of note, Jaci was also interviewed in Episode 706 (link in show notes)

As a side note, I’m focusing only on sharing stories associated with the Queer-LDS experience now. However, if you would like to share your story about a different Church- or gospel-related topic on Listen, Learn and Love, please contact Tonya about the possibility of working with her as my guest-host (e-mail Tonya at tonya@cottonwood.care).

Links for Jaci's digital platform are below:

Jaci’s YouTube channel:
youtube.com/@jaciwightman?si=Haekg_Ziz0X_GDN_

Jaci’s website: jaciwightman.com/

Jaci’s earlier podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-706-jaci-wightman-new-book-ignited/id1347971725?i=1000631042858

My friend Haymitch St. Stephen (BYU degree, Stanford graduate degree, mid 30s, SLC native, Latter-day Saint) joins us to talk about his new book called “Friend of the Devil: A Story of Mental Health, Mistakes, and Self-Forgiveness”. This book is the story of Haymitch’s lifelong friend Cameron White, who—at age 17 in 2007—was the drunken driver of a car that killed four members of a Salt Lake City family (Michelle Williams and her unborn baby, her son Ben, and daughter Anna). Michelle’s husband Chris Willams (and a son) survived the accident. Chris wrote about this experience in his book called “Let It Go”.

Haymitch, working closely with Cameron White for 6 years, writes the book with insights from Cameron’s perspective of his long journey to find peace, hope, and self-forgiveness. It is a powerful story realizing the life-altering/shattering impact on the Williams family, spending time in jail, meeting Chris, and working to find hope and self-forgiveness—even when he doesn’t feel he deserves it.

Haymitch, a gifted creative writer and mindful/spiritual big thinker, masterfully weaves in teachings from others (Jesus, Lisa Miller, Thomas McConkie, Adam Miller) to this real-life story to create hope, peace and healing for everyone that seeks to forgive themselves. It is a book that is helpful to all of us to find peace and joy in the realities of an often wounding world.

I was so moved reading this book and listening to Haymitch. This is a powerful book that I encourage everyone to read. Thank you Haymitch (and Chris and Cameron) for sharing this story to help bring us together as the same human family.

Links:

Order Haymitch’s book: www.stillpoint.life

Learn about the June 7, 2024 book launch event: www.stillpoint.life

Contact Haymitch: www.stillpoint.life

Chris Williams “Let It Go” book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609071271

My friend Hannah Russell (married mother of three, PhD, lives in Cincinnati, active Latter-day Saint) joins us to share her story of being asexual out of a desire to help others not feel alone. Hannah starts realizing she is different and falsely concluding “I am not a divine child of Heavenly Parents” because I don’t have any sexual interest. Hannah talks about how being asexual is a real thing and there isn’t some backstory “confusing” Hannah to falsely make this conclusion.

Hannah talks about learning more about herself at BYU and dating. Hannah is very brave—and without shame—in sharing her feelings about not wanting to be sexually intimate. Hannah talks about getting on with her life (after a broken off engagement) and getting her PhD in Pathobiology and Molecular Medicine. Hannah talks about meeting her husband John and opening up to him about being asexual and how they navigated that road together and decided to get married and start a family. Hannah talks about how their marriage—a beautiful love story—is based on communication and consent.

I learned so much from Hannah story about how to better understand and support my asexual friends, and principles to create a stronger marriage and family. Thank you, Hannah, for your courage to share your story so others don’t feel alone and all are welcome and needed as we create Zion. You are awesome!

Links:

Hannah’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hannah.russell.1428

Facebook Group to Better Support LGBTQ Latter-Day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

My friends Kate Kendrick (she/her) and her non-binary child Morgan (they/them) join us to share their story. Kate, who is no longer active LDS, joins us to talk about her journey to become an LGBTQ ally and then fully love and accept her sixteen-year-old non-binary/pansexual child who goes by the pseudonym "Morgan." (who is age 16). It is a beautiful family love story. Kate offers helpful principles and perspective for parents to love and support their queer children.

Kate also talks about her decision to no longer participate in the Church and what we can do to build bridges of understanding between those in the Church and those who have left the Church. Kate is not asking other people to leave the Church—rather, she is suggesting what we can do to bring both parties together as members of the same human family.

Morgan, who is wise beyond their years, talks about what gives them hope and shares their advice to queer people who have less more. struggle with those who don't accept their sexuality/gender identity and/or are feeling suicidal.

Thank you, Kate and Morgan, for being on the podcast. Your story helps us learn how to better support others.

Links: TikTok Page: @Midlife Exmo Momma -- Please note that, though Kate truly makes an effort to build bridges between members and former members of the Church, some content may not feel appropriate for those seeking to build their testimony of the Church. Please use discretion when watching her videos.

My good brother David (author of “Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question”) joins us to talk about his new book which gives readers a gospel-based framework and tools to navigate the increasingly polarized and contentious landscape of modern society.

In the podcast, David talks about why he wrote the book, who is the audience, and how he hopes it helps us better come together as the same human family. David talks in a practical way of the skills and approaches to eliminate contention and become peacemakers.

If you are feeling tensions of conflict with family, friends, fellow church members—or want to better ministering tools to bring people together, I invite you to read/share David’s book. It is a serious book needed in a divisive time—packed with the latest information from the finest minds, research, and scriptural/church leader insights to help heal our divides.

Thank you, Dave, for all your great work in our community to bring us together.

Links:

Dave’s book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/158958774X

Dave’s book on Amazon (Kindle): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CZ4R7S2T

Dave’s book at Kofford Books: https://gregkofford.com/products/healing-our-divides

Dave’s e-mail: healingourdivides@gmail.com