Be You Podcast Jill Herman

Too few of us are willing to be true to ourselves and risk disappointing or (GASP!) offending others. 
We rarely speak our truth or ask for what we want. 
We shrink, hide and politely accept and agree to terms we don’t want in order to be accepted and liked.
What if we didn’t? 
 
Show Notes: [3:10] - We need to be willing to get uncomfortable and potentially make others uncomfortable by asking for the things we want.
[4:21] - We’ve been taught to be “the good girl.” We wind up saying yes to everything to be nice and not be “too much.”
[7:07] - It’s hard to stand up for ourselves and it takes practice.
[8:50] - When will you allow yourself to have the things you want to your satisfaction?
[10:27] - With more practice it becomes harder to not follow your true north.
[14:29] - Don’t apologize for your decisions. You can apologize for taking someone’s time or inconveniencing them, but not for your decision.
[17:40] - Many times life is going to put us in situations that are so extreme to show us how bad it feels to abandon ourselves so we can really make the decision to choose ourselves.
[19:14] - Think of a situation where you spoke up for yourself and how it showed up in your body. Now think of a time when you didn’t.
[21:08] - You don’t have to abandon yourself and your needs to fulfill the needs of someone else.
[23:36] - It will eventually feel so natural to stand up for yourselves.
[29:03] - Jill gives an example of how “the flavor can change.” What feels right to you and when are you willing to compromise?
[31:10] - What are your rules? What are your boundaries?
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.
 

Jill uses her gift of storytelling and uses her words to paint three pictures that the listener can see vividly and clearly as they extract a personal message and lesson for themselves.
 
Show Notes: [2:27] - Every human being deserves to have these “ah-ha’s.”
[5:41] - Sometimes, the biggest gifts come from struggling. But suffering is optional.
[7:23] - Jill was convinced that she would learn something specific, but she had to learn something different and trust the process.
[9:01] - Integration and embodiment can be used in so many different areas. The difference between knowing in your head and knowing in your body.
[11:26] - Subtle change leads to huge change.
[12:45] - Jill describes the experience.
[15:10] - “It’s a trick question. I choose both.”
[16:57] - The second lesson is all about how Jill’s art will be perceived.
[18:45] - Someone could have told me these things, but I had to experience this and release so much through physical discomfort to access this.
[21:18] - Jill describes what she saw that led to the third lesson learned in this journey.
[23:48] - What if we look back at trauma and painful experiences as a grown adult and not from the perspective of a child?
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.

Meet one of Jill’s dearest friends and soul sisters, who happens to be 20 years younger. What? YES! 
Sydney Pacula Owen has a love for both the energetic world unseen and our earthly three dimensional experience. She professionally works as a jewelry designer in her family’s Diamond business focusing on engagement rings and redesigning the old to new. In her creative work, dance is her religion. She has taught creative movement and movement arts to all ages over the past 15 years. Her teaching emphasizes dance as an enjoyable, authentic form of expression. She finds her greatest fulfillment in connecting with others through art whether it be diamonds or dance. 
Listen as they explore unconventional friendship, spirituality, the healing art of intuitive dance, and what it means to find God without rules.
 
Show Notes: [2:08] - Do you have relationships with other people that aren’t easy? Do they feel forced or feel like they don’t flow well?
[4:16] - Do you radically accept everything about yourself? Because if you don’t, you can’t expect that out of a relationship.
[7:50] - Check out Sydney’s website: Pacula Diamonds.
[12:21] - Jill shares her version of meeting Sydney and the deep knowing that she was supposed to do something with her.
[14:45] - Sydney explains how she knew she was supposed to be there for Jill.
[19:02] - Sydney invited Jill to the moon dance experience and kept the invitation intentionally vague.
[21:29] - If you are at all interested in a women’s dance circle, observe one. It opens up a sense of community.
[22:46] - Giving yourself permission gives others permission.
[25:43] - Sydney had to learn to just trust in the space she has created.
[27:30] - Sydney explains how and why she got into dancing and movement as a way to overcome her disconnection.
[31:53] - Intuitive dance is not planned or choreographed. It will be different every time because it is what you need at the moment.
[35:03] - Give yourself the time and space to just be.
[38:47] - By connecting with her body and truly loving herself through movement and dance, she was able to love herself and her body more.
[41:21] - Sydney describes her faith and how her spirituality doesn’t fit into societal religious practice.
[45:13] - Jill has discovered the freedom of being in tune with herself and finding God there.
[47:50] - Prayer and church do not need to look the same for everyone.
[54:21] - Sydney has always been told that she is “an old woman.”
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.
 

After talking about how we sometimes pretend not to know what to do, this week Jill explains how to know if it's intuition and truth or interference.
And today is the day you get asked a really sobering question.
Tune in to find out what that question is....
 
Show Notes: [2:21] - With any type of deep inner work, you are going to create new neural pathways and new ways of being.
[3:44] - Your intuition will not lead you to confusion.
[4:36] - If it comes from divine truth, it will not be a wobble. It will be clear.
[8:01] - How do you know if something is intuition? How do you know if something is true for you?
[9:23] - If there’s any area of your life where you are not fully yourself, how long are you willing to continue that?
[12:01] - If you are your true authentic self, you are going to trigger some other people.
[13:27] - I will not abandon myself for anyone. When you walk this way, you will recognize the wobble and discern the difference.
[16:12] - When are you going to honor your own guidance? When are you going to step into the role of leading yourself?
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.

Jill takes the gloves off and gives us bare knuckles coaching on:
Pretending we don’t know what to do
Not admitting we aren’t willing to do what it takes to get what we say we want 
Being ask-holes 
The lies we tell ourselves about weakness and strength
Blaming everything outside of ourselves for the life we have
Why quitting is sometimes the bravest act
 
Show Notes: [1:27] - Let’s chat about the lie we share that we don’t know what to do.
[2:48] - Our brain craves safety. But safety isn’t safe. It’s just what is familiar.
[4:20] - Some of us are genuinely unwilling to do what it takes. That radical honesty is fine.
[6:18] - Some people will continue to complain about not knowing what to do, even though the solutions have been provided.
[9:33] - We can’t pretend to not know what to do. If we really don’t know what to do, we can find the answers.
[11:03] - You need to do the work, read the books, find the information, take the courses, and do it all yourself. You can’t rely on someone else to give it to you.
[12:18] - Some people will not only complain about not knowing what to do, but will come up with lists of reasons why they can’t do it.
[14:17] - Being a people pleaser is actually a form of control.
[16:02] - We’re married to our story. We’re married to the excuses. What if we decided to propose to the answers?
[19:54] - We don’t know what we don’t know.
[21:08] - Are you willing to become the student?
[24:51] - Things will change for you when you realize you are the director of your own theater.
[27:23] - No one is coming to save you. You are your own hero.
[32:26] - There’s a difference between rest and weakness.
[34:03] - Functional freeze is when you are able to function, but inside you are stuck.
[37”25] - Are you going to heed the advice?
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.

When you look out at others, where does it come from? 
Does it come from safety and truth? 
Or are you needing and wanting to confirm some sort of story you’ve made up?
In this episode, Jill explores the reasons behind our need to see other people and make up a story about their successes and compare them to our own insecurities.
 
Show Notes: [9:58] - Some of us are in bondage to these made-up stories.
[11:47] - Why is our knee-jerk reaction to focus on the things that other people seem to be doing better, but when we look at ourselves, we focus on the negative?
[13:44] - We play a comparison game because we focus outward.
[16:24] - When you’re focusing externally to find meaning, that’s the pitfall.
[17:49] - Why are you looking outward?
[21:13] - If your “come from” is safety and security, you won’t feel threatened.
[22:58] - There are things you simply won’t know about someone else by looking at them.
[26:06] - We find ourselves looking at other people and we’re thinking that they’re doing things better because deep down we still feel like we are not enough.
[28:29] - If it is coming through the lens of love, we won’t make anything up or add anything to the picture. We won’t make it mean anything about ourselves.
[31:02] - Everybody does this. But is it all-consuming?
[33:03] - Consider who you are looking at and how you are making a made-up story mean something about your own life.
[34:32] - It all boils down to outsourcing our worth.
[36:30] - We avoid being still and quiet to face insecurities. It's easier to look outward.
 
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts “I love Be You Podcast!” ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!
Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.