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What is Endometriosis and how does it manifest? Why is it so important to broaden the national conversation about this debilitating condition? What can you do if you think you may be a sufferer?
For an episode 18 months in the making, we’re thrilled to welcome insurance business founder and keynote speaker Sandra Lewin back to the Coffee, Calm & Connection podcast! In this episode, Sandra discusses her experience of living with Endometriosis, from years of suffering with the condition before her eventual diagnosis and lifechanging surgery. In an open, frank and inspiring conversation with Sarah Myerscough, she explains the symptoms of Endometriosis and the debilitating impact it can have on one’s daily life. Listen now to find out more about this lamentably undiscussed condition and to help us raise awareness!
 
Quote of the Episode
“I consider myself very lucky. I never knew you could live like this. [People] did not realise how much pain I used to live in. So, my story, I’d say, is very positive. But for many women it is not positive. Many women suffer in silence, [and] many women don't even know they have it. And once they do know, they have no way of getting the right treatment.”
After years of enduring the physical torment of Endometriosis without a diagnosis, when Sandra finally received surgical treatment, her life was changed irrevocably. For years she had been deprived of so many basic things many of us accept as standard, from a decent amount of uninterrupted sleep each night to being able to go about one’s day for long periods without a constant need to use the bathroom. Yet, one in ten women suffer from endometriosis, and a considerable amount of them are yet to even be diagnosed with the condition. It takes, on average, eight years before a woman is diagnosed with the condition due to its complexity, leaving so many women to suffer without any significant forms of treatment.
 
Key Takeaways
Endometriosis is where tissue similar to that within one’s womb grows in other areas of the body. It is most commonly associated with painful periods, although this can lead it to be confused with another condition, adenomyosis (when womb tissue grows outside of the womb). The condition is also often misdiagnosed as IBS, as both conditions are accompanied by digestion issues. Sufferers may also endure severe mood swings which can lead to depressive episodes, alongside fertility issues and painful intercourse.
While it is often understood only as a form of extensive period pain, it is much more than that. When you have your period, the tissue breaks down and is released through bleeding. With Endometriosis, this same tissue is trapped in other areas of the body. It also eventually breaks down and bleeds, but it has nowhere to escape. In the long term, this can create tumours and lead to cancer (although there is not yet sufficient medical evidence to explain how this transition occurs).
 
Due to its complexity and the ease with which it can be misdiagnosed, many women suffer with Endometriosis without even knowing it, or alternatively continue to suffer for extensive periods without receiving a formal diagnosis, and thus no treatment. The impact on one’s day to day life is considerable, and the dual brunt of this physical pain and the mental anguish of being denied a diagnosis is woeful. Many women suffer in silence, and therefore it is crucial that the national conversation about Endometriosis is changed, and that people become more aware about exactly what it is and how it affects those who suffer from it.
Sandra offers four key pieces of advice to those who think they may have Endometriosis:
Trust your body – if you are hurting in the ways described above, trust your judgement.
Find a community – there are plenty of endo-sisters spread across the country and globally, who share resources and support.
Identify the care that is most suitable for you. Every woman is different, and every woman suffers di

Do you find yourself constantly chasing ‘success’? Do you feel a desire for control over everything that you do? Is it possible to outstep your own thought processes, and if so, how?
We’re thrilled to welcome back anxiety specialist Stuart Thompson for the latest episode of the Coffee, Calm & Connection podcast! In this episode, he explores the prevalent societal desire for control over everything within one’s life, and the damaging consequences of such a mindset. Furthermore, in conversation with Sarah Myerscough, he discusses how the cultural zeitgeist of ‘success’ has been corrupted by superficial ideals, and the importance of prioritizing your personal development.
Quote of the Episode
“I'm always suspicious of people that write five-year and ten-year plans. I'm certainly not where I expected to be five years ago. In fact, I'm doing something completely different most days now to what I thought I'd be doing five years ago. Actually, even since Christmas, my plan has changed. I'm doing different stuff to what I thought I would be doing. Those five-year plans and ten- year plans do feel a bit controlled. If you look at most people that are successful… an awful lot of it was luck.”
Stuart is suspicious of five-year plans as a strategy for achieving your goals. He suggests that these plans are rooted in the projection both outwardly and inwardly of a sense of control over your life that does not, and cannot, really exist. It is impossible to outline five or ten years of your life, and the assumption that you can do so is the result of a desire for control which is both unachievable and unhealthy. Furthermore, these long-term plans feed into a broader cultural narrative about success; namely that anything is achievable with the right amount of hard work. In reality, things can and do go wrong. External factors get in the way of your plans. Buying into this success narrative can be hugely detrimental to your personal wellbeing, as it can lead to the belief that any roadblocks to your success are your own fault, and that you can only be happy when you have reached an arbitrary, superficial benchmark of ‘success’ that will not really bring you contentment.
 
Key Takeaways
Everyone wishes to assert a degree of control over their lives. However, this need for control over everything can be damaging to us, because it is derived from a fiction that everything and anything is within our grasp. Stuart emphasises that a great deal of our stress and dissatisfaction is the result of attempting to exert control over things we cannot change. If and when such things go awry, we may feel that pain personally, as though it were a direct result of our own actions.
You can try to micromanage your life by making meticulous plans, setting numerous goals, following predetermined strategies, but as long as you hang the pressure of external factors you cannot control or change over your head, your stress will not stabilise. Trying to be overly regimented merely lulls yourself into the misguided belief that you can control everything. This mindset is a security blanket, but it can become harmful when you are presented with curveballs or unexpected scenarios.
If, like many people, you have a mindset driven by the achievement of goals, is it possible to address and change that? Is your subconscious belief system malleable? For Stuart, this process must begin by reflecting on what exactly you are chasing via these goals and plans, and to what end you are chasing it. Otherwise, it can become really difficult to feel content. ‘Success’ on a superficial, goal-oriented basis always slides. Once you have achieved one thing, you will simply move onto the next. Instead, you should consider, what do you really want to get out of things? What fulfilment will those things bring to your life? For the most part, fulfilment is not achieved with money or power, but achieving a connection with others.
Thus, to begin to change your mindset,

How do you maintain good mental wellbeing when the going gets tough? Is there any way to prepare for unexpected bumps in the road?
In this episode of Coffee, Calm & Connection, we’re very pleased to be speaking with Alistair Fraser, CEO of Marsh Commercial & Corporate UK. Having faced some health challenges in 2022, in this episode, Alistair reflects on how to remain good mental wellbeing despite an awareness that unexpected obstacles may be right around the corner. In conversation with Sarah Myerscough, he highlights the importance of recognising that you are human, and outlines some strategies for dealing with periods of stress, anxiety, and low mood.
 
Quote of the Episode
“Be human. I think perfection doesn't exist. And I am the worst at going, ‘I want to be perfect at everything.’ I'm my own worst enemy. But [perfection] doesn't exist. You're going to be great at different things at different times. And life is going to be great in different ways at different times.”
Many of us place a great deal of pressure on ourselves, be it at work or in our personal lives, to achieve perfection. Such a mindset will almost inevitably lead to disappointment, as, Alistair highlights, human perfection is utterly unattainable. There will be imperfections in everything you do and every situation you encounter. For Alistair, it is key to recognise that you’re not guaranteed tomorrow, and to keep your mind focused on the present. What can you do to make today the best it can be? In doing so, even when things do go wrong, you will still be able to reflect on the efforts you made to make positive progress.
 
Key Takeaways
Throughout the episode, Alistair emphasises the fact that you will always face pockets of stress throughout your life, and encounter unanticipated obstacles that may throw you off-course. A key means of dealing with this and overcoming these issues is to share your feelings with others. Building a strong support network, both in your personal life and in the workplace, is fundamental to maintaining a positive mindset, and keeping your feelings bottled up will only further elongate your stress or anxiety. As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved.
Furthermore, when you are dealing with certain situations, be it a challenge to your health, or bereavement, or a variety of different stressors, it is key to recognise that sometimes you need a break. Taking an hour, or even a day, for yourself, to reflect on what you are going through or to do the activities you enjoy, can be hugely beneficial to your wellbeing.
As much as we may want it to be, and as much as people pretend it to be on social media, life is never perfect. Bad things happen, and often quite regularly. Recognising and acknowledging this can be quite challenging, but for Alistair, it is key to note that you can deal with this, but ‘everyone has to find their mechanism to deal with it’. For him, playing hockey, doing jigsaws and occasionally lying on his floor are powerful strategies for decompressing and reducing his stress levels. He argues that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to mental wellbeing. Through trial-and-error, you have to find what works for you. For Alistair, just as exercise is required to become physically fitter, we also need to stretch the muscle of mental wellness, which requires identifying and applying whichever practice is most suitable to your life and needs.
 
Best Moments/Key Quotes
“It's been a great year of learning, for me, about myself about the challenges around ensuring you have mental wellness. I don't particularly like the phrase ‘mental illness’. I think it's about looking after our mental wellness, and that will fluctuate depending on things. And then having that realisation that you're a human.”
“I think you have to realise that you're going to have pockets of stress. A problem shared is a problem halved. It's true. And sometimes it's either because people can give you advice on

Welcome back to the Coffee, Calm & Connection podcast!
How do we maintain good mental wellbeing in the aftermath of challenging or traumatic events? How do we reckon with the curveballs that may be round the corner?
In January of 2022, our Sarah suffered from a stroke. Fortunately, she has made significant strides in her recovery, and so one year later, in this episode she and Coffee, Calm & Connection co-founder Stuart Thompson discuss how Sarah’s stroke has affected her wellbeing, along with the changes to her perspective and the personal development that she has undergone since. Stuart and Sarah explore how, despite our best efforts to plan things meticulously, sometimes things simply do not go as expected. Circumstances beyond our control can, and often do, get in the way of our goals. How do you come to terms with and overcome these curveballs?
 
Quote of the Episode
“We surround ourselves with information and knowledge that matches our understanding of the world. I was reading about an American psychologist recently who had been criticised because they asked him what his 10 books beside his bed were. And one of them was a book that was quite right-wing. So, people had said, ‘Well, that must mean you've not actually got a more sensitive perspective, you're reading this right-wing book’. And he said, ‘I'm reading it, because I need to understand that perspective’. But as we get older, we do it anyway. The internet and data allows us to just do things that confirm what we believe and never, never challenge it.”
In the episode, Stuart highlights the importance of becoming open to other perspectives in relation to one’s wellbeing. It is easy to operate within an echo chamber of self-doubt and self-criticism, and to try to search for solutions within your own headspace, but it can be hugely beneficial to turn to alternative approaches to wellbeing in order to make significant progress. The importance of exploring multiple points of view is true of everything, of course, and wellbeing is no exception. Your own mindset can feel like a very interior thing that nobody else is capable of understanding, leading to the view that no external input is worth listening to, but finding new ways of thinking about it and overcoming problems can be highly insightful and instrumental to one’s personal growth.
 
Key Takeaways
In the episode, Stuart pinpoints the psychological concept of ontological grief. This occurs when one’s view of oneself, and thus of the world around them, is fundamentally challenged. If something happens to you that you couldn’t have predicted, or if you act in a way that you didn’t think yourself capable of, it can shatter your self-image. There are many ways of coping with this phenomenon.
For Stuart, when bad things happen, it is key not to retreat into self-preserving beliefs that may be more harmful than beneficial, but to become open to alternative perspectives. Perhaps you need to put less pressure on yourself, or to set fewer goals. It’s easy and natural to try to search for solutions to your wellness problems within your own headspace, but sometimes turning to alternative perspectives can be helpful.
Stuart pinpoints the psychological phenomenon of Pollyanna Syndrome, which refers to a children’s story about a little girl who was told that, however bad you feel, there’s always somebody worse off. It’s true – many of us do live objectively easier lives than others – we do not all suffer from poverty or malnourishment, for example. However, if you are undergoing some hardship, you shouldn’t minimise it, or dismiss it as insignificant compared to other traumas. It is key for one’s general wellbeing to accept when things go wrong that bad things can happen, and that it’s okay to grieve them or feel low about them, so long as you give yourself time and then move forwards.
Although it can be difficult to abstractedly recognise it, bad things can and do happen. That is so

The correlation between physical health and mental wellbeing is well-documented and scientifically proven. The improvement of one is inextricably bound up with the improvement of the other, and if one begins to dip, inevitably, so will the other. We often tend to believe that we are unable to improve our physical wellness as our bodies are simply incapable of the goals we are aspiring towards. However, precision coach Sam Cleaver suggests that most of what is holding you back physically is in fact mental roadblocks. In this episode, we’re thrilled to be speaking with Sam about his ‘wholistic’ approach to health and fitness. In conversation with Coffee, Calm & Connection’s Sarah Myerscough, he elucidates how every aspect of our lives is interconnected in the journey to improving overall wellbeing.
Are you aiming to improve your physical (and by extension, mental) health? Are you trapped in a cycle of maintaining your fitness without seeing any wellbeing benefits from it? Listen now to find out how to optimize your body and in turn, your life.
 
Quote of the Episode
“You cannot outperform your belief of self… Everyone tells me, ‘I want to lose weight’, ‘I want to be optimised’, and all this, but deep down, they don’t believe they can. The thing is, if you genuinely think that you’re never going to rise above that expectation.”
For Sam Cleaver, a fundamental aspect of the journey to improved physical health consists in a reorientation of one’s goals and beliefs. You will never achieve a health goal if, deep down, you don’t truly believe you are capable of it. Ultimately, it’s your internal belief system, rather than any supposed deficiencies you may perceive in your body, which hold you back and prevent you from adhering to and achieving your health goals. The curse of every health journey is self-sabotage. However, it is, of course, not enough simply to believe in yourself more without putting in place physical and mental strategies to facilitate this boosted self-belief. By implementing new behaviours and protocols pertaining to eating, sleeping and training, you will subsequently be able to (re)align your beliefs with the physical, mental, and emotional health goals you are aspiring towards.
 
Key Takeaways
During the episode, Sam notes that the discourse surrounding health and fitness is labyrinthine, difficult to navigate, and often self-contradictory. A key principle which often gets lost as we engage in a journey of physical improvement is that of ‘health’ itself. By focusing solely on a maintenance or improvement of fitness, you may not feel any satisfaction or benefits from this journey.
In order to curtail this, when embarking on a health journey you must consider what your fundamental values and incentives are. Your health journey will be entirely unique, just as your body is, and therefore, comparing yourself to others can only ever be restrictive. As everyone’s journey is different, you should first and foremost identify the priorities in your health that matter the most to you and focus on these rather than a generalised pursuit to ‘fitness’. Working with a fitness coach can be profoundly beneficial in identifying what these values and their correlating goals might be.
Once you have identified these values and goals, for Sam, you must subsequently evaluate your basic human routines – namely, your eating and sleeping patterns. This is the first step in the process he employs with all his clients. The brain is a pattern-creator. As such, he suggests that it is essential to create rigid eating and sleeping routines which you can stick to, thereby granting you a sense of focus and distinction between work and rest. It is only after an optimisation of eating and sleeping, the fundamental facets of our very survival, that you can begin to introduce the complexities of building emotional health and developing your mental state. Indeed, these will naturally be strengthened by

Have you ever opened up about your feelings and felt heard, but not listened to? Do you want to learn how to be a better listener in order to help others when they open up about their personal struggles?
In this episode, we’re very grateful to be speaking with Robert from the Manchester and Salford branch of Samaritans, a telephone helpline offering support to people who are struggling from emotional distress, mental health difficulties, or contemplating suicide. In conversation with Coffee, Calm & Connection’s Sarah Myerscough, Robert elucidates the immense power of listening as the most fundamental tool for supporting people experiencing all forms of emotional anguish. He suggests that each and every one of us has the power to become part of the solution to tackling the mental health pandemic which has enveloped the nation and, indeed, the world, over the past decade, which has been particularly emboldened over the past two years. By striving to actively listen and giving people space to articulate their thoughts when discussing their struggles, we can actively make the world a better place.
 
Quote of the Episode
“As humans, we are meaning-seeking creatures. We're constantly looking to understand who we are, and how we fit into the world. We do that through language. But there's also something that's absolutely fundamentally healing and empowering: by feeling heard by another human being.”
Robert emphasises that, as social beings, we all derive a deep sense of fulfilment and connection through conversation with those we love and trust. He suggests that this is further emboldened when we endeavour to always actively listen to what someone is saying when they are expressing how they feel, rather than merely hearing the words. To create an environment in which someone can feel truly safe and empowered to express their feelings, we must create the space for them to speak freely and uninterrupted. In doing so, we can enable them to actively process whatever it may be that they are going through, emboldened by the presence of someone who is paying attention to and understanding every word they are saying.
 
Key Takeaways
When someone you love informs you of a troublesome experience they have undergone, or emotional difficulties they are experiencing, you may feel inclined to offer practical solutions to the issues they are raising. You might approach these difficult encounters with pre-prepared answers, with which you interject, to invite your loved one to stop feeling distressed, or sad, or anguished. In doing so, you are only hearing what this person is saying, and not truly listening to them.
In the episode, Robert lists the various issues which can arise from interrupting someone with these, albeit well-intentioned, interruptions:
They can derail the person’s train of thought
They can undercut what they have just said or are about to say
They can swerve the direction of the conversation to avoid discussing anything that we may find uncomfortable
In order to avoid these pitfalls, you must understand that the purpose of this conversation is not to provide solutions or practical advice, but merely to assure the speaker that you are listening to them, understanding what they are saying, and by doing so assuring them that their feelings are valid. We all occasionally experience worries or troubles that we can’t yet fully comprehend, and it is only when we articulate them out loud that we understand what is truly going on within ourselves. As such, by creating an environment in which someone feels able to speak freely and uninterrupted, you are enabling them to say things they haven’t predetermined, which can often be profoundly enlightening for them.
It can sometimes be difficult to know what to do or say in these situations. They need not arouse panic or dread. The other person doesn’t need anything from you other than the comfort of divulging information to someone they trust, and the validation of receiving