Swordboys - Cut x Cut Swordboys

The Swordboys return to the tavern to hear Big Brother Athos talk of love and good-natured punches to the face. Next we take a milk bath with a gross tasseled pillow and a horny pope who just wants the Queen to bring him closer to God.

Then it’s off to avoid cannonballs and deliver maximum Star Wars quotes before we wish a hearty RSVP to Whitey Axelrod. Finally, we rate the handsomeness of King Louis’s bangs as well as the hero of this film: Angus the Boy Detective. Liz Whitaker joins us this week on her gentle stallion Sugar Muffin. All for one, and one for all!

Runtime: 00:51:45 - 01:09:15

The Swordboys travel from the depths of the horny Richelieu’s mancave to a wenching tavern on the outskirts of Paris. We explore questions like “How likable is Chris O’Donnell?”, “How many peasants did Porthos behead?”, “What’s in your sacred snack chamber?” and “Who were Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds?” We are introduced to Whitey, Bitey, Ricky, and Moe, we list our Depard-donts, and also learn about the Musketeers’ sacred rule of ABW. And we are again joined by a fourth Musketeer this week: Niall McGowan from Batminute and Miami Minute! All for one, and one for all!

Runtime - 00:34:32 - 00:51:45

The Swordboys return as young DAR'tagnan's father's son continues his quest to irritate every person he runs into with his BDE. We get into some Platt Facts before the Sheen Scene and Aramis's piety (which is great fodder for Bible Boys),as well as how cool Kiefer Sutherland is. We discuss Queen Anne's actual heritage, duel locations according to Google Maps, horse names, future cheeses, rat holes, and murder taverns. Also, we are joined by a fourth Musketeer this week: Travis Bow from Minute of Thieves and Reel Comic Heroes! All for one, and one for all!

Runtime - 00:17:24 - 00:34:32

Welcome back! The Swordboys are time-traveling from 80s Hyborian Age to 90s Pre-Revolutionary France! This is a time of feathered hats, armored cardinals and iron-masked men parts 1, 2, and 3! And duels! So many duels keep young SwordBoy D'Artagnan busy as he escapes Girard's butlers on the snooty stallion Stabby, who smells like a French horsehouse, and runs into a cavalcade of 90s actors! So much to discuss, like their age, filmography and how realistic their hair is! Join us outside the city by the ruins for another fun season of the swashbuckling Swordboys! And bring a long wooden box. All for one, and one for all!

Runtime - 00:00:00 - 00:17:24

The Swordboys return for our final cut of Red Sonja, starting with her first confrontation with Queen Gedren in her throne room. Gedren is unarmed, but thanks to a kind of magic, she finds a sword by the door! The ladies wail at each other like they are holding baseball bats and DJ Wizzo starts throwing down some sick beats. The fight moves to the candleroom where Tarn tries his best to let everyone know he is the star of this movie. But can he even lift, bro? Kalidor sure can! With the queen defeated and her kingdom collapsed, Kalidor finally gets a freeze frame kiss from our titular heroine.....until Clompy ruins it.

Runtime - 01:12:25 - 01:28:51

NEXT UP: THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1993)

The Swordboys wake up yet again, but this time to break down some unwanted sexual swordfighting between Sonja and Kalidor, with an assist from Prince Tarn. Soon enough, we are off to pull our spare bones out to infiltrate the mad Queen Gedron's b******e. The lady laughs while her most loyal spider Ikol faces his fiercest enemies: a 9-year-old and a slowly-closing door.

Runtime - 00:59:18 - 01:12:25