The Gentle Rebel Podcast Andy Mort
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A podcast about engaging with creative spirit, deep sensitivity, and playfulness to make space for peace, meaning, and human connection in a world that struggles to slow down.
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51 | Humour, Anxiety, and The Inner Critic (with Rox Alexandru and Neil Hughes)
Humour is a VERY important sense. Without it, we risk taking ourselves so seriously that we lose all perspective. Our sense of humour is a core part of gentleness (firm back, soft front) because it allows us to move through the world with greater flexibility and openness.
We all have this sense! But it takes practice to remain humourously sensitised to the world around, within, and between us.
In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I share a Haven Courtyard conversation I had towards the end of 2023 with Roxana Alexandru and Neil Hughes. We explored how we might use humour to befriend anxiety and the inner critic in helpful and healthy ways.
Rox helps people figure out ways to play with and change their relationship with debilitating social anxiety. She shares her experiments through Instagram and TikTok.
Neil wrote the book Walking on Custard & the Meaning of Life: A Guide for Anxious Humans. It contains an inspiring ongoing meta dialogue with his inner critic throughout.
Check out Neil’s website and watch his TEDx Talk (A new plan for anxious feelings: escape the custard!)
I love how both Rox and Neil relate to the voice of their inner critics, which is why I thought it would be fun to have them both on the same call…and I was right; it was!
In our conversation, they explained why they felt drawn to use humour to engage with their inner critic and what they've learned.
We Discuss Humour, Anxiety, Inner Critics, and...
* How can we work on our relationship with the inner critic in light-hearted ways?
* When is it better to be amused than anxious?
* Experimental ideas to take control over the process so that the fear doesn't gain power over you.
* How Neil's goal was to reach a point where he no longer needed to think/talk about anxiety. We explore how engaging with inner work as a temporary process (perhaps even obsession) can lead you to a light on the other side.
* The link between custard and anxiety and how seeing it through this metaphor can help identify and reach more solid and desirable ground.
* Situations and environments where social anxiety increases (and how to prepare/recover to avoid feedback loops)
* The simple power of being interested (rather than worrying about being interesting)
* The derailing fear of being misunderstood.
* Why we can never be prepared enough for every potential eventuality and how Neil engages with that truth in creatively humorous ways
* How scripting can help give a set of mental tools to draw on and use during times when we most need it
* Creating deliberate awkward moments helps the brain lean into discomfort on our terms.
* Why are our post-situational inner narratives often worse than the situations themselves - and how do we choose more favourable (and evidenced) narratives to believe?
* The sound of our inner critic (is it a voice? A narrative? Or a flavour?)
* How to relate to impostor feelings (or impostor syndrome) in a helpful and humourous way
* The stories we tell ourselves about appearances and how judgements by those around us about... -
50 | Is Life Coaching Really Just a Scam? (with Megan Malone)
Life coaching can be shrouded in confusion.
In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I chat with Megan Malone, delving into the joys and challenges of coaching. Together, we dissect why some view it sceptically and explore avenues for life coaches to reverse the negative trends and misconceptions.
Megan is an International Coach Federation (ICF) certified coach and has a Master's in Organisational Development. She sheds clear light on the nature of coaching and what to expect from working with a professionally accredited life coach.
The Perception of Life Coaching
Coaching is plagued by numerous misconceptions, fuelling doubts and suspicions regarding its validity. Particularly in the wake of controversial instances like Escaping Twin Flames, The Dream (Season Three), and The Conspirituality Podcast (186: Coaches Coaching Coaches), where self-proclaimed coaches have been exposed for questionable and, at times, harmful practices.
It's imperative to address these misconceptions because each of us should be in a position to make informed assessments about what we're being sold in the name of coaching. For this we must foster greater awareness and comprehension of ethical practices.
Navigating the life coaching industry can be confusing, primarily due to its lack of regulation. Anyone can call themselves a coach without adhering to any particular standards. This ambiguity has sparked discussions calling for industry regulation to delineate more precise professional and ethical practices.
Nevertheless, organisations like the ICF provide clear guidance to affiliated practitioners. They mandate adherence to specific standards, ethics, and competencies. But for it to be truly effective, this type of voluntary self-regulation also requires a public awareness and understanding of what coaching is (and isn't).
It is crucial to recognise how coaching differs from other helping interventions and understand its uniquely valuable purpose.
The Difference Between Coaching, Therapy, Mentoring, and Consulting
Coaching
Coaching is a pathway to attaining a specific outcome or desired future state. A coach acts as a partner, guiding clients to make decisions for themselves and designing an intentional course for personal or professional growth.
Therapy
Therapy and counselling focus on aiding clients in mental health recovery, processing past trauma, and healing emotional distress. They explore and address past pain that is hindering present and future well-being.
Mentoring
Mentoring is guidance, teaching, and advice from someone more experienced in a particular field or role. Having traversed a similar path, a mentor imparts wisdom and support, focusing on skill and knowledge acquisition.
Consulting
Consulting addresses specific problems, challenges, or goals. A consultant will often observe and analyse a situation so they can offer expert suggestions, recommendations, and strategies for a person or organisation to implement.
Why is Life Coaching Unregulated? -
49 | Reflections From a Decade in Music City (with Aaron Espe)
After experiencing challenges with panic attacks, Aaron Espe figured out how to build a career that works for him. Aaron is currently a full-time songwriter based in Nashville Tennessee.
In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I chat with Aaron about songwriting, creativity, and adapting to creative adversity.
I first heard his music in 2012 when I was presenting the music podcast, Lost on Radio. Aaron was our artist of the week with his track, Hanging By a Thread. I felt an instant connection to his sound and have been keeping a close ear on his work ever since.
His book, On Songwriting: Practical Tips and Insights from a Decade in Music City will be an important part of my reference library from now on. It's a fantastic guide for anyone creating things to help rekindle focus, clarity, and a sense of possibility.
https://youtu.be/bUoUh5MIPNw
In our conversation, Aaron Espe and I discuss:
* The importance of being adaptable and flexible in a creative career (and being unable to co-write songs led Aaron to write a book)
* What inspired him to carve his own path rather than taking the conventional songwriting routes he was "supposed" to follow
* The GPS Method and The Painting Method for writing songs (and which we naturally gravitate to)
* Where inspiration comes from and processes for writing when it's not there
* The power of co-writing as a way to grow your skills and network
* And much more... -
48 | Red Flags to Look Out For If You’re Thinking of Working With a Coach
We're at the start of a new year. A time when many are thinking about projects, habits, and changes they want to focus on next.
Whenever we seek advice on making a change, we're never far from a coach willing to help. But coaching has become a confusing and mysterious mixed bag. So I thought it might help to share some potential red flags to look out for if you're considering it this year.
Growing Awareness of Bad Coaching Practices
Have you noticed that everyone seems to be a "life coach" these days?
Investigative documentaries, articles, and podcasts have started highlighting certain bad practices to look out for in the industry.
Conspirituality released an episode examining emotional exploitation and parallels with multilevel marketing schemes of certain programs that train coaches to become coaches who coach coaches to be coaches. Season 3 of The Dream dives into similar topics in more depth. Online streaming platforms have an ever-growing library of shows exposing abuses in the name of coaching, such as "Escaping Twin Flames".
The Closest Thing To Regulation in The Coaching Industry
While still not perfect, reputable coaching bodies take great care to develop standards and core competencies that keep coaches and coachees as safe as possible amid the lack of official regulation. For coaches and coach training programs that are accountable to and assessed by associations like the International Coaching Federation (ICF), there is a level of professionalism and knowledge demanded of those who pursue accredited certifications.
There are well-defined, concrete explanations about what you can expect from working with a coach. While every coach has a different personal and professional approach, and will develop the most effective ways of working with particular people, the basic scaffold of coaching is necessarily solid.
But loose definitions and ambiguous understandings of coaching can confuse those exploring the field as a means of support. This can lead to misconceptions and a lack of awareness about what to look for and avoid when searching for a coach.
What IS Coaching?
Building on the ICF's definition, coaching is a thoughtful and creative partnership between coach and coachee that inspires them to explore the possibilities. It helps unlock sources of imagination and resourcefulness to overcome external challenges and inner obstacles to desired outcomes. It is focused on creating a practical pathway for a future-oriented objective.
Coaching is not about fixing, advising, or training. Coaching is a specialist skill in and of itself. It's not about telling someone what to do or imparting knowledge. It's built on structured conversations that require trust and collaboration to serve an intentionally articulated purpose.
The documentaries and exposés often highlight practices that insidiously and explicitly contradict these core coaching principles.
Red Flags to Look Out For When Choosing a Coach
If you're looking to make a change in your life and could use professional support to help you find focus, motivation, and the right path forward, working with a trained coach is a great option. However, -
47 | High Sensitivity is Not a Superpower
I’ve always felt uneasy about the use of "superpower" to describe high sensitivity.
In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, Scott Barry Kaufman and I talk about recent research indicating a shift in cultural frames around sensory processing sensitivity and potential issues with portraying high sensitivity as a superpower.
Sensitivity is a "Beautiful and Complex Trait"
Rather than being a “superpower”, Scott points out, sensory processing sensitivity is a beautiful and complex trait underpinning the survival strategy for 20%-30% of humans and has been found in over 100 species so far.
There have been some interesting (and challenging) studies in the past couple of years looking at portrayals of sensitivity in Western culture. Last year, Scott wrote an article for Psychology Today responding to a study examining links between high sensitivity and vulnerable narcissism.
Signalling Sensitivity
He wrote another piece highlighting research into how some people misappropriate the trait of high sensitivity to seek certain benefits. This research found "zero correlation between sensory processing sensitivity and signalling high sensitivity." In other words, between those with the trait and those who make unreasonable demands using the trait as an excuse.
This research found "zero correlation between sensory processing sensitivity and signalling high sensitivity." In other words, between those with the trait and those who make demands using the trait as an excuse. For example...
* Asking for privileges because of sensitivity
* Receiving special treatment because of sensitivity
* Requesting help because of sensitivity
* Avoiding penalties because of sensitivity
* Blaming mistakes on sensitivity
* Telling people how hard life is because of sensitivity
Most of the highly sensitive people I've talked to about this list recoil in discomfort at the idea of using their sensitive trait in this way. Especially if it involves making a fuss, receiving special treatment, or requiring others to go above and beyond just for us.
The Potential of Sensitivity
Scott writes, "A beautiful and complex trait has become co-opted by some people as a victim-signalling strategy-- "a public and intentional expression of one's disadvantages, suffering, oppression, or personal limitations." Indeed, recent research suggests that victim signalling is becoming increasingly prevalent in our society and can be viewed as an expression of a "culture of victimhood" in which claiming to be a victim isn't in the service of receiving help and assistance for a genuine disadvantage but instead becomes something actually desirable and fashionable in itself."
I believe highly sensitive people have a powerful role to play in the collective potential of humanity. When combined with genuine empathy and compassion, sensitivity senses what needs to be sensed. It feels deeply for the whole and seeks ways to connect rather than drive apart.
About Scott Barry Kaufman -
46 | It Is (Not) a Christmas Song
While it's not a "Christmas Song", I felt compelled to release Still Time during the festive season because there's just something about it.
My friend Peter seems to agree: "Big-hearted and tender loveliness for a December evening (and probably other months and times of day too, but this feels like a particularly good time for it)".
So this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast is (not) a festive bonus.
When asked what they would do if tomorrow were their last day on Earth, many said they would hang out by a lake or up a mountain to view the sunrise alone or with loved ones. There is still time (and appetite) to play, write, and create. They are drawn to familiar places and sensory experiences (meaningful tastes, sounds, smells, sights, and physical touch).
I was somewhat surprised at the lack of bucket list activities and final thrills. There was a real sense of “return” in the responses. I suppose there might be something about the imminence of finality that draws us toward simplicity. Grounded where we are. The reality we can reach out and touch. An invitation to look around us right now, where we are, and allowing this to be enough and recognising that this IS enough.
Weirdly, no one said they would spend the day on social media arguing with, provoking, or showing off to strangers on the internet. It's almost as if that stuff isn’t that meaningful when push comes to shove.
Not a Christmas Episode and Not a Christmas Song
While Still Time is not a “Christmas song”, these themes certainly resonate with my understanding of this time of year.
For many, there is a bittersweet melancholy associated with the festive season. There are reminders of what and who is no longer with us. We experience folded page memories that bring flavours of days gone into the present. We might reflect on another year gone and anticipate, wonder, hope, or dread the year to come.
In this episode:
* I share some ideas I discussed in last week’s live Haven Courtyard.
* I explore the ways Rapid Response caught my attention and how I approached the piece I contributed to the exhibition.
* We unpack the creative process behind Still Time (including some embarrassing voice notes)
* I talk about why songwriting is such a magical, mysterious, and utterly normal thing for me.
Customer Reviews
Well being oasis
Just found this podcast through episode 319. At a moment when I’m working though isolation as part of nhs. This really hit the spot and I found the episode so relatable. Would recommend for anyone who needs a podcast that comes across a good friend style chat rather than the usual Dr to patient dynamic.
One of my favourites
When much of the world is just a bit too loud or busy, this podcast carves out a creative space to think and be at peace. Andy’s considered and thought-provoking explorations offer fresh perspectives and helpful nudges, along with the comforting reminder that we’re not weird or alone. :) Super soothing (can I say perfect to fall asleep to?) and I wouldn’t want to be without it.
Really good
Listened to the podcast on social hangovers today, and i appreciated how it affirmed an experience I have a lot and am only recently learning how to notice and cope with better. The advice given was thoughtful and kind, and it's the first time I've ever really found advice on this aspect of my life, and the advice itself was based on experience and attended to the complexity of what goes on for you after social situations