The Philosophy of Sex Becuming

In 2018, the sex toy company Dame decided to advertise in the New York City subway, run by the MTA. 
In September, the MTA's ad agency, Outfront Media, began working with Dame on a campaign that would run in subway cars, showcasing sex toys against neutral backgrounds and featuring slogans that read, “Toys, for sex” and customer reviews.
By late November of that year, however—after Dame says it spent significant money revising and developing ads in an attempt to meet the ad agency's suggestions for approval—the MTA completely and abruptly changed course on Dame's campaign, as well as all other sex toy ads on public transit. The MTA rejected Dame's ad campaign, and publicly published guidelines on advertising that prohibited any “sexually oriented business" from advertising on MTA property.
Meanwhile, ads for viagra and other erectile dysfunction products continued to grace the eyes of countless New York commuters, with no questions asked. So in 2019, Dame sued the MTA for the arbitrary censorship they had experienced. 
This story demonstrates the countless hurdles and discrimination companies within the sex industry face in trying to market and discuss their products.  Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok or billboards, talking about sex and pleasure in a frank and open way on the internet, and in the real world, is extremely difficult.
Alexandra Fine, the Founder of Dame, has navigated these challenges in many creative ways. After graduating with her master's in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University in New York, Alexandra founded Dame Products alongside engineer Janet Lieberman in 2014 with a line of vibrators aimed at closing the "pleasure gap."
Since then, Dame has raised upwards of $11 million and run a number of successful crowdfunding campaigns, leveraging platforms such as Indigogo and Kickstarter. At the company's helm, Alexandra possesses the resilience and energy required to bring light to an industry that many are attempting to hide. 
In this episode, Alexandra and Caroline discuss the various hurdles sex companies face, particularly when it comes to marketing and fundraising. Alexandra shares her experience suing the MTA and advocating for change within the industry. 
Learn more about here Dame here.
Follow Alexandra here. 

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Today’s guest is Dr Avgi Skatepolou, author of “Sexuality Beyond Consent; Risk, Race and Traumatophilia”. 
Avgi maintains that society has become overly focused on healing trauma and needs to reroute its attention to what subjects do with their trauma. She calls attention to a series of challenging questions: Why is sexuality beyond consent worth risking, and how does risk become a way of engaging with the opaque parts of ourselves? And in what ways does eliminating risk remove the potential for erotic transformation?  
Agvi draws unexpected links between ideas that are so often seen at odd within one another; cruelty and care, sadism and ethics, trauma and expansion, and perversion and purity. Avgi writes about ideas typically relegated to the morbid, dark and unspeakable and sheds light on their potentially transformative powers, something she refers to as ‘erotic astonishment.’   
Blending philosophy, queer theory, and race theory with her extensive experience in practice as an analyst, she proposes that accepting the strange within, not to master trauma but to rub against it, may open people up to encounters with the enigmatic, astounding and unique forms of care.  
Buy ‘Sexuality Beyond Consent’ here. 
Follow Avgi here. 
Contact us 
info@becuming.me
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Back in March, we hosted our first live event with Australia's leading architecture commission, MPavilion. This week, we're releasing the recording with you all.
This conversation explores how design impacts our most intimate moments and how technology can be designed as a catalyst for connection. To help investigate, Caroline invited three panellists; RMIT professor and sex toy designer Judith Glover, founder of sexual wellness brand Normal, Lucy Wark, and author and sex-tech researcher, Jenney Kennedy.
The panel explores questions such as, how should we design technologies related to human sexuality and intimacy? Which sexual dilemmas can be solved using technology and which can’t? Why do technological solutions so often feel like a bandaid for more profound issues of connection and intimacy?

Learn more about MPavilion
Learn more about Judith Glover
Learn more about Lucy Wark
Learn more about Jenny Kennedy
Connect with us:
Becuming.me 
Instagram 
Host and producer: Caroline Moreau-Hammond 
Editor and composer: Zoltan Fecso

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The Philosophy of Sex, season two is here! In this episode, we’re exploring the complex relationship between sexuality and religion. You’ll hear from three religious leaders who’ve worked hard to reconcile their beliefs and their sexualities; Rabbi Denise Eger, Imam Mushin Hendricks, and Minister Josephine Ipkin. 
These three religious leaders defy expectations of what it means to exist within their respective faiths and show how modern characterisations of religion, and its relationship to sex, can be more rich and complex than we might imagine…

Learn more about Rabbi Eger
Learn more about Moshin Hendricks 
Learn more about Josephine Ipkin
Connect with us:
Becuming.me 
Instagram 
Host and producer: Caroline Moreau-Hammond 
Editor and composer: Zoltan Fecso


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Has anyone ever called you ‘anal’, or maybe suggested you have ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’ issues? Perhaps you’ve been the one to dish out these titles. 
For all these terms, we have Sigmund Freud to thank. Freud is widely regarded as the founder of psychoanalysis, a field of theory and therapy that grapples with the unconscious mind. In modern times, Freud is also often regarded as a woman-hating cokehead. 
His work has been the subject of decades of criticism and but also absolute praise. Irrespective of how you feel about Freud, the pervasive nature of his thinking is undeniable. Many of his thoughts still underpin Western ideas of sexuality. 
Over the years, countless interpretations, including entire sub-branches of psychology, have emerged in response to his work. His intellectual legacy is astonishing; traversing sexuality, dreams, development, and beyond. Poet W H Auden describes Freud as providing "a whole climate of opinion, under which we conduct our different lives." Despite this, popular understanding of what Freud actually wrote and said is rare. 
Today’s guest, Jamieson Webster, is someone who has spent significant time reading, contemplating, and responding to Freud’s work. Jamieson is a psychoanalyst and author based in New York. She has worked as an analyst in SoHo for many years, taught the subject at The New School in New York, and recently wrote Disorganisation and Sex, which explores the endlessly disorienting nature of sexuality. 
Jamieson views psychoanalysis through a philosophical lens, grounding many of Freud’s seemingly abstract ideas. Agreeing with Freud, Jamieson demonstrates that since psychoanalysis concerns things that make us uncomfortable, it will always face resistance.
In this broad conversation, Jamieson and Caroline discuss many of Freud’s central concepts, like the Death Drive, the Oedipus complex, Phallocentrism, and Freud’s often misrepresented views on gender. They also discuss what a psychoanalyst is, and what role they play in helping people understand sexuality. 
Learn more about Jamieson’s work here.
Connect with us
Becuming.me
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Hey, hello. Caroline here. After a brief hiatus, we’re back with another episode of The Philosophy of Sex! In this episode, I discuss sex and law with author, journalist, and activist, Bri Lee. 
A lot has changed within Australian consent law in the last 12 months. In June, NSW enacted affirmative consent laws that require people to give and obtain consent before sex. Victoria followed suit a few months later. After a disheartening 2021 awash with allegations of sexism and sexual violence within our political and legal systems, the newly implemented laws felt deeply consequential and monuments. 
When these new laws were introduced, I was simultaneously relieved, overjoyed, and concerned that they are merely a bandaid for a much bigger problem. Law helps us when something goes wrong. In some cases, it can be a deterrent. However, how do we prevent sexual violence from happening in the first place? And can the law be responsible for this?
While consent law is undeniably important, and a huge step forward, Bri and I discuss whether legislation alone can genuinely curb rates of sexual violence. We discuss the need for shifts in cultural attitudes and asking deeply uncomfortable questions like why predominantly men perpetrate sex crimes, and how we respond to this constructively. Bri and I also explore issues of bias, and whether ideas of objectivity serve or hinder the justice system. 
Bri is the author of three books, including Eggshell Skull, a memoir chronicling her time working as a judge’s associate while pursuing her own sexual assault case. She is currently completing PhD in law at the University of Sydney, where she lectures in media law. Bri has been a vocal advocate for improvements to consent law and sexual violence law, particularly in Queensland. 
This conversation happens in two parts. The first, looking at the criminal justice system from a survivor’s standpoint. Bri shares her story and explains the process of pursuing her own case. The second part explores the wider issue of reducing sexual violence in society, and whether the law is an effective method for creating such reductions.
This conversation is about consent, accountability and our many blindspots in working towards a world with less sexual violence. Before listening, please bear in mind this conversation discusses sexual abuse; however, no graphic details are shared.


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