Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites Sandy Weaver

Some people go along to get along.
Some people choose their words carefully, trying not to rock the boat.
Some people choose not to voice their opinions for fear of alienating friends or loved ones.

When it’s done occasionally, none of these are bad choices. When it’s a way of life, it’s a recipe for a meltdown.

Instead of getting a small confrontation over with, a million small confrontations with the same person pile up until an explosion of frustration and anger happens. Instead of saying what you mean clearly and firmly, a boundary remains unset until a person trespasses once too often, sparking an uprising that surprises them.

If this sounds like you or someone you know, listen up – this is a very unfair way to treat people you care about, yet it’s commonly thought of as “polite.”

Screw polite – you have as much right to your feelings, words, and opinions as anyone else, and when you hold them in until you explode, you hurt the relationship in ways that may not be fixable.

This kind of “politeness” can be tough to change – begin today to express your feelings, thoughts, and needs. Start small, build your confidence, and learn to stand up for yourself.

If you don’t do it, who will?

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Is there a piece of your life that you criticize a lot? Maybe you don’t love where you live, or the car you drive, or the body that carries your spirit around.

For a long time I didn’t wear shorts, no matter how hot the weather. My skin is ultra pale and couldn’t manage to tan if my life depended on it. I felt like I’d be judged for those bright-white sticks stuck to the bottom of my body, and that people would laugh at me or feel sorry for me or whatever.

One day a dear friend said, “when was the last time you judged someone on their looks?” The question caught me by surprise – I work hard not to judge a book by its cover or a person by their appearance.

“Why then,” she asked, “do you think everyone else is meaner than you?”

That’s my question for you today. Think about the pieces of your life or yourself that you criticize a lot and explore whether that criticism is valid or just plain mean. Be nicer to yourself and stop letting negativity rule your choices!

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Quick…how is your confidence level right now?

Most people can’t answer that question very positively. Most people second-guess themselves, feel like they’re not up to whatever challenge is in front of them at the moment, and quite frankly feel like an imposter a lot of the time.

Did I just describe you? It’s OK…I described me some of the time, too.

Our brains keep a running tally of the times we got it wrong, the things we’re afraid of, and the ways we fall short by comparison with others. Meanwhile, there are people in our lives and on the socials look at us, how our lives are unfolding, what we do and say, and they’re in awe of who we are and what we do.

You are setting an example for so many people in your life and you’ll never know it unless one day they tell you that you inspired them when they were at a low point.

We all are inspiring others, just as we’re inspired by our own heroes. Be your own hero – when you are feeling “less than” give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself that other people admire you, and they are not wrong!

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Do you have days now and then where you just feel blah? Like you can’t get motivated to do anything at all, let alone the things you have to do or even want to do. Those feelings happen to us all from time to time, especially at points in our lives following a loss of some sort.


Grief can make you feel limp.
Physical pain can make you feel limp.
Comparing yourself with others can make you feel limp.

How to get the limpness out and the spark of life back in? Learn something. Anything. It doesn’t matter what you learn, just learn how to do something.

Do you have a cucumber, an onion, and some vinegar in your kitchen? Watch videos on how to make refrigerator pickles. Do you have some scrap lumber in the garage? Look up designs for making cute, functional birdhouses.

When you harness movement with learning like you do when making a recipe or a birdhouse, you tap into the parts of your brain that help you focus intently. Once you point your focus at something, that limp, blah feeling goes away.

So, what will you learn today?

PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Do you ever look back on your life and cringe at who you were then? I don’t mean your style of hair, makeup or clothing, I mean who YOU were?

“I was so naïve then” or “how could I have been so stupid” or “why didn’t I appreciate them more?”

It’s very common to reflect on our lives and decide that we weren’t a terribly good person, and before you take yourself down that pathway of self-flagellation ever again, consider this: how could you be who you are now if you weren’t who you were then?

When you make a relationship mistake, you know more clearly the traits and behaviors you want in a partner. When you make a career mistake, you learn more about what you will and won’t trade for your precious time. When you make a hairstyle mistake, it’s just hair – it grows.

Give yourself the same grace you give your hair – you’ll grow, too, and you’ll keep blossoming into the wonderful person you’re meant to be. Stop beating yourself up – it’ll just slow your progress.

PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing

Oh, don’t you hate to make a mistake? It’s so embarrassing. It’s so confidence-shaking.

It’s so tempting to try to make it look like it was someone else’s fault, not yours.

Some people are better at that than others – have you ever worked with someone who never took the blame for anything? Whatever happened, it was always someone else’s fault. Even if they had to cook up an elaborate story to make it make sense that it was someone else's fault, that’s what they did.

They probably weren’t the most popular person in the office, and they certainly weren’t the most valuable and trusted team member, either.

It’s really hard to grow in your knowledge and wisdom if you never learn from your mistakes. True emotional intelligence comes from resisting the temptation to place blame, then from owning your mistakes, analyzing what went wrong, and doing better next time the circumstances are similar.

That’s the makings of the most valuable and trusted team member!

PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing