Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen Heidi Benjaminsen

Summary
In this episode, I discuss the tendency common to everying - wishing others were different from who they are. It's something I've noticed in the people I coach, and it's a struggle I've faced in my own relationships with family and friends. Throughout the episode, I explore how these wishes create barriers between us and the people we care about, hindering our ability to truly understand and appreciate them. I challenge the notion that others need to change for us to feel differently, emphasizing the power of changing our own thoughts to shape our emotions. I provide listeners with practical tools to dismantle these barriers and foster deeper connections with others. Examples:
I share examples of common wishes, such as wanting a partner to be more handy around the house or wishing for more frequent communication from a parent. I discuss the challenges of accepting children for who they are, including desires for them to be more outgoing or neurotypical. And more! Lessons Learned:
I encourage listeners to examine their beliefs about why certain traits are perceived as better than others. I emphasize that our emotions are shaped by our thoughts, not by the actions of others. I urge listeners to embrace discomfort and take responsibility for their own emotions rather than expecting others to change. I highlight the importance of recognizing and appreciating both strengths and weaknesses in ourselves and others. I advocate for a focus on personal growth while simultaneously accepting and loving others for who they are.

We all want to be liked.  It's a human survival desire.
It feels good when people like us.
BUT we all encounter people who don't like us.  Our brain thinks this is a problem.  This isn't a problem!  
If someone likes us, this represents their brain and their lane - not us!
Listen to this "best of" episode to learn how to manage what you think, feel and do when someone doesn't like you.
Let other people be wrong about you.
Our job is to focus on what WE think about OURSELVES and build OUR self-esteem.
This focuses our attention on our lane and helps us show up as people we WANT to be.
A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family!
 

Learning how to say no when someone requests something of us is a critical skill.  This skill anchors and steadies us as we stay in our lane and take more control of our life.
Listen to episode 176 (a replay of episode 9) to learn:
Importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing time Reasons why people struggle to say no Awareness of the consequences of saying yes to everything Strategies for politely declining requests Emphasis on taking responsibility for time management Importance of being honest with oneself and others The significance of clear communication and setting expectations Examples of saying no graciously and firmly Discussion on the responsibility of commitments once made Avoiding blaming others for one's own choices Importance of self-care and valuing one's time Respectfully declining requests for money or other favors Prioritizing tasks based on personal values and integrity Admiration for those who effectively manage their time and commitments Importance of self-worth and self-confidence in saying no A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family!
To set up a free consultation for coaching, go to https://heidibenjaminsen.as.me/consult/

The episode delves into the idea of grace, drawing inspiration from a talk by Brad Wilcox titled "His Grace is Sufficient." Grace, as Heidi explains, is a gift given out of love, not fear or judgment, and it assumes worthiness without the need for earning it.
She explores how grace applies to human relationships, emphasizing the importance of shifting our mindset towards others and ourselves.
Heidi emphasizes that our relationships with others exist in our minds, shaped by our thoughts about them. She highlights the three components of a relationship:
what we think about the other person, what they think about us, and what we think about ourselves. Heidi stresses the importance of focusing on filling the gaps in our relationships with grace and understanding rather than judgment and criticism.
Using personal anecdotes and coaching examples, Heidi illustrates how practicing grace can transform our interactions with others and improve our self-esteem.
She encourages listeners to shift their focus from judging others to understanding and accepting them, ultimately fostering deeper connections and personal growth.
For more information go to heidibenjaminsen.com.
Schedule a free consult call at https://heidibenjaminsen.as.me/consult/

Heidi Benjaminsen hosts "Confidence Coaching," a podcast aimed at supporting mothers in maintaining calmness and stability regardless of their surroundings. In Episode 174, titled "Building Core Confidence," Heidi shares a personal experience from a skiing trip in Austria to illustrate the importance of developing emotional resilience and stability. She describes how navigating challenging ski trails highlighted the role of her core muscles in maintaining balance and stability, drawing parallels to building emotional resilience in everyday life. Heidi emphasizes the significance of staying centered, taking responsibility for one's actions and emotions, and avoiding the temptation to blame external factors. Through her skiing experience and a subsequent encounter with law enforcement, Heidi demonstrates the importance of flexible thinking, self-acceptance, and embracing uncertainty in fostering core confidence and emotional well-being. Learn more at heidibenjaminsen.com Sign up for a free consult call at https://heidibenjaminsen.as.me/consult A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family!

The fastest way to changing our life is SLOWING DOWN and examining situations we want to change.  When we pause and reflect on what we are thinking, we're able to change emotional patterns.  Our frustration, stress, and insecurity suddenly isn't needed because we see the situation from a different perspective.
In episode 173 of Confidence Coaching, Heidi gives many examples from her own life of how she slowed down to question:
Why she was feeling insecure when not included with a group If things she perceives as problems with other people are REALLY problems Will getting angry and mad actually help me in this situation What will confidence look like when meeting new people Would I like it if my spouse had these same expectations and resentments What am I rushing to And more! Emotional control and calm is quickly possible after we slow down and ask WHY we are acting a certain way and rushing through life.
A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family!