May We Have Your Inattention Suzanne and LeAnn

In this episode, Suz and LeAnn talk about money - why is it so scary to deal with? We share our experiences with money management and give our tips to get a better handle on money woes.

Highlights of Episode 10:


We share our experiences of money, starting from childhood until now. How our childhood experience of money shaped and molded our views and how we developed our sense of self-worth and shame with money.

Math shame! Our struggles with math and how that correlates to our confidence with money

Lack of dopamine in ADHD brains leads to impulsive behaviors, such as impulsive shopping to find a quick hit of dopamine

Limiting beliefs around money and how we overcome those beliefs to form better habits

Debt snowball, autopay, and other ways to develop better money habits

How to change your mindset from being “behind” with money to being “ahead” with money

Limiting access to money so we make it harder to spend

Window shopping and “one more day” mentality to limit spending

Giving ourselves grace and self-compassion with our money mindset

Avoiding the turtle: taking time each month to map out steps for bill paying, writing things down to take control of your money.

10th and 25th system: file folders with bills for each date, streamlining bill pay

Eliminating scarcity mindset


References from the Show:

Truebill

YNAB

You’re a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero

Profit First by Mike Michaelowicz

Acorns app

https://www.additudemag.com/pay-bills-money-management-adhd-organization/?src=embed_link

Follow us on Instagram: @inattentionpodcast @amidlifealchemy @leannbradshaw_

Contact us: inattentionpodcast@gmail.com

Show Notes Episode 9: Hormones!

In this episode, we talk about hormones in women, how hormones fluctuations affect ADHD brains, PMDD, and more.

A Note: Sorry to our 2 male listeners, we won’t be sad if you skip this episode. Although, if you identify as a male supporting someone with ADHD who has extra rage-y PMS symptoms, this may be a good episode to listen to so you can understand how best to support your loved one!

Highlights of Episode Nine:


New research suggests that there is a link to hormonal changes throughout the lifespan and how ADHD symptoms show up.

Postpartum depression, peri- and post-menopause, and Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) impact women with ADHD more severely than neurotypical women.

Suz shares her experience with postpartum depression.

Adolescent girls are often misdiagnosed with depression, anxiety, or other mood fluctuations as a result of puberty, while ADHD symptoms in girls often show up around the same time as puberty.

LeAnn shares her experience with depression and anxiety throughout adolescence.

LeAnn talks about hormone fluctuations throughout our menstrual cycle and how it impacts the effectiveness of ADHD medication.

Hormonal fluctuations negatively affect dopamine throughout our cycles: for women with ADHD, this often means stronger PMS symptoms.

Suz shares her PMDD diagnosis and we talk about our PMS symptoms.

IUDs - hormonal and nonhormonal options and how it affects our cycles, and syncing periods with others, and how long our cycles last compared to average.

LeAnn goes on a football ramble and shit talks Tom Brady.

Brain fog, cravings, and the sugar connection to dopamine.


References from the Show:

https://www.additudemag.com/women-hormones-and-adhd/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3978296/

https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/the-complete-picture-how-estrogen-affects-women-with-adhd/

https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/hormones-and-womens-adhd-symptoms-part-two/

Flo app for cycle tracking

Flex Fits discs: https://flexfits.com

Period Education on Instagram: @berrionlberry

Follow on Instagram: @inattentionpodcast @leannbradshaw_ @amidlifealchemy

Contact us with questions or comments: inattentionpodcast@gmail.com

Part 2 of our Valentine’s Day special - we talk about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and how it specifically shows up in relationships!

Highlights of Episode Eight:


Recap of RSD: common in people with ADHD, and experts suggest that shame/RSD should be considered as part of ADHD diagnostic criteria.

LeAnn shares her experience of how RSD shows up in relationships as fear of being rejected and feelings of shame and incompetence.

Suz shares that her RSD shows up as jealousy and untrusting/fear of being duped.

Hyper-vigilance often leads us to go down a rabbit hole of mistrust as a result of forming trauma bond attachments with our romantic partners; we unconsciously seek out people who reinforce traumatic experiences we have had previously.

Finding ways to distance our thoughts and emotions from situations to separate fact from fiction can help when we are feeling upset; this helps to uncover the meaning we attach to situations.

When do we go to others to communicate feelings/issues, and when do we do the work within ourselves first?

Emotional flooding and releasing the dam of emotions; how to balance our emotions with others.

Fear of rejection and determining safety in relationships, how our trauma response can miss red flags and erode trust within ourselves.

How does the trademark ADHD symptom of impulsivity show up in relationships? We discuss our terrible reckless dating decisions and other impulsive choices.

Healing the abandonment wound and finding safety and security within ourselves, versus seeking validation externally.

We can always improve ourselves and change unhealthy patterns to form healthier relationships; the more self-aware we are, the easier it is to change our habits.

Forming healthy relationships with others: doing the work ourselves and breaking codependency; not putting our “shit” on others with the expectation that they need to fix us.


References from the Show:

ADHD For Smart Ass Women Episode on RSD: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6gSMhSsWWdvdBJqZEGgRmY?si=fk8dDEx2Ssa3qsMOAEPzAA

Follow on Instagram: @inattentionpodcast @leannbradshaw_ @amidlifealchemy

Contact us with questions or comments: inattentionpodcast@gmail.com

Part 1 of our 2-part Valentine’s Day dating special - because of course you want dating advice from us. Right?

….Bueller?

Listen as we talk about dating and how ADHD affects relationships with others.

Highlights of Episode Seven:


teenage dating angst

Trauma bonding: what is it, and why do we subconsciously seek out repeating patterns?

Lack of chemistry with “healthy” people, and how do we learn to become attracted to what is healthy for us vs. what our brains subconsciously gravitate towards.

How do we ask for what we need in relationships in a healthy way? We talk about struggling to have our needs met and how to make healthier bids towards our partners or loved ones.

Attachment styles: we briefly go over attachment styles and how they influence relationships with others.

Our experience with dating apps, dating during COVID, and dating people with differing political views.

How ADHD impacts our ability to communicate effectively and using verbal communication.

Setting boundaries and learning how to assert ourselves, and how to develop safety within ourselves and feeling safe to express boundaries with others; getting receipts that say something different so you have a history of different behaviors to feel safe moving forward.


References from the Show:

Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com

Take the attachment style quiz here: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com

Follow on Instagram: @inattentionpodcast @leannbradshaw_ @amidlifealchemy

Contact us with questions or comments: inattentionpodcast@gmail.com

Show Notes Episode 6

Suzanne and LeAnn talk about Enneagram personality types, which is an indicator of our behaviors and feelings, with a focus on Type 4, the Individualist/Romantic.

Highlights of Episode Six:


Type 4 traits: authenticity, feeling special/unique, avoid being seen as ordinary, and driven by our feelings

Did you know? A lot of people with ADHD are Type 4s!

Core coping strategy of type 4s is emotional intensity. LeAnn shares her experience of always feeling like she is “too much” or “too intense.”

Suzanne and LeAnn share their experiences as kids: being shut down and dismissed/gaslit; of not feeling safe to express themselves, and feeling deeply misunderstood and often settle for acceptance instead of feeling truly seen.

Type 4s value authenticity from others, and do not tolerate surface-level connections; 4s need deep, meaningful connections with others.

We talk about swipe culture and feeling easily replaceable in the dating world.

We discuss false beliefs, being true to ourselves, and how to find and use our voice to express our thoughts and feelings.

Why do 4s always overromanticize relationships? We talk about how to find your people and feeling safe in friendships and relationships.

Rapid succession rabbit holes regarding Hogwarts Houses: Slytherin vs Ravenclaw, astrology birth charts, The Pattern app


References from the Show:

Enneagram Quiz: https://www.truity.com

The Pattern: Astrology pattern app and deep dive for birth chart

Follow on Instagram: @inattentionpodcast @leannbradshaw_ @amidlifealchemy

Contact us with questions or comments: inattentionpodcast@gmail.com

In this episode, we talk about setting goals and intentions for the New Year. This episode is for YOU especially if you are listening to this 3 weeks into 2021 and have already given up on resolutions.

Highlights of Episode Five:


Using a “focus word” to set intentions for the new year.

Suzanne shares a list of ideas to try for new year goal planning that doesn’t consist of “making resolutions”

How Covid changed last year’s goal-setting for 2020, and how our outlook has changed for 2021.

Letter writing: writing letters to ourselves can allow us to hold compassion for self and heal our inner child, and how holding the wounded parts of ourselves can soothe our inner child and allow us to feel worthy and good enough.

Shame (notice a pattern here? Maybe we should rename our podcast Shame 101) around goal-setting and the choices we make for the new year

Action in rest: how “rest” can reset our nervous system, particularly when we hold trauma in our bodies.

Why do we internalize things that we feel like we “should” do? How can we break out of this? Ask yourself “ why?” before you make a decision, and question the stories you tell yourself on your worth and justifying your “shoulds”.

We break through the “shoulds” of pressure and obligation to fit into societal norms.

What’s the difference between “giving up” vs. “adding” things in terms of goal-setting? We talk about finding a balance for restriction focused goals such as dieting and alcohol use.

A key strategy for breaking old habits and forming better ones is to find a replacement for the habit you are trying to break.

We go down a massive rabbit hole of how well (or poorly) we work through goals if someone gives negative input during the goal-setting process.

Detox List - we talk cleaning and organization combined with ADHD hyperfocus and inattention, along with Suzanne’s clutter shame; LeAnn’s car cleaning, elk, and gazpacho.

Go "5 why's deep" to get clarity surrounding goal-setting; eliminating black and white thinking; do something in the moment to reset and give ourselves grace; focus on completing one goal at a time; let go of your shoulds and shame.


References from the Show:

8 Ways to Detox That Have Nothing to Do With Your Body from @therapyforwomen

Unfuck Your Brain with Kara Lowentheil 

Follow on Instagram: @inattentionpodcast @leannbradshaw_ @amidlifealchemy

Contact us with questions or comments: inattentionpodcast@gmail.com