Senseless Melissa Platt & Sherry Espinosa

Sherry and Melissa wrap up the first season of Senseless with this episode talking about the book Being Seen by DeafBlind author Elsa Sjunneson. The hosts talk about the book’s examination of ableism in the media and in the author’s own life and how it applies to their personal experiences. 
This podcast is not psychotherapy and does not contain medical advice, but is simply a recording of two friends talking.
Links:
Email questions or feedback to Sherlynn53@cox.net

Sherry and Melissa are delighted to reconnect with their listeners after a long hiatus! This episode combines segments of two different attempts at recording. Sherry and Melissa’s first attempt contained a lot of laughter and upon listening to it, the hosts noticed that maybe they were laughing a bit too much through the hard stuff. The second recording is Sherry’s fullest truth-telling about what it is like for her to live with chronic illness, while Melissa listens. The final version you are listening to starts with a funny story by Melissa from the first recording and then, after our theme music, cuts to Sherry’s truth-telling.
This podcast is not psychotherapy and does not contain medical advice, but is simply a recording of two friends talking.
Episode Highlights:
The difficulties of understanding people wearing masks as a Hard-of-Hearing person (including at the audiologist!)Feeling pressure to downplay sensory loss or chronic illness issues for the sake of others’ comfortBalancing gratitude and positivity with self-love and articulating needsThe fear that being honest and open will cause people to abandon us versus learning to receive love and trust in othersThe everyday challenges associated with sensory loss or chronic illness and their impact on energy and emotionsLove languages, listening, and what love looks like to usPoetry reading: “Sweet Darkness” by David WhyteGuided breathing exercise
Quotes:
“It’s hard to see ourselves or where we’re coming from. I’m always curious how other people perceive me.”
“It’s always the mindset of ‘don’t talk about that, nobody wants to hear about it.’ You know what I mean? Because people are gonna see it as complaining, or people are gonna see it as ‘we don’t want to talk about that, that’s not fun to talk about,’ or ‘that scares people.’”
“Sometimes, we have to be uncomfortable. Because if you’re never uncomfortable, you’re not really connecting with people.”
“I know that getting to where I am right now is learning that I had to turn my love to myself and love my own heart and love me and everything about me. And it’s doing me a disservice if I’m constantly trying to make it about everybody else but me.”
“There’s part of me that wants to tell others how unbelievably ill I am. I have no idea how to get people to understand that, I don’t think it’s possible. But what it’s like to live every single day, all day, every day, feeling so sick that most people, they maybe would go to the emergency room.”
“It’s about receiving love from other people. That’s the challenge of letting myself just be fully myself without worrying that people are going to abandon me.”
“My inward journey is asking me to receive love. And I can’t receive love if I’m not authentic about who I am and what I’m going through and allowing people to love me. And I have to remember that some people aren’t going to be able to handle it. And that’s okay.”
“You can’t ever just relax, because you’re always, ‘What’s the next thing?’ you know, or ‘What symptom am I dealing with at this moment?’ It’s always a symptom. It never goes away.”
“Just the energy it takes to pass as, like, fitting in, or to pass as able-bodied is so much that you, like, need to come home and sleep sometimes.”
“I appreciate, you know, people doing things for me. But ultimately, it’s just spending one-on-one time with me, you know, sharing things about what’s going on with you, and have a conversation with me.”
“You don’t have to choose between this source inside and love from others. You get to have both.”
Links:
Email questions or feedback to Melissa@senselessthepodcast.com or a href="mailto:Sherry@senselessthepodcast.com"...

Melissa and Sherry are back for a refreshingly honest and powerful conversation about breath, breathing, and being grounded while living with sensory loss and chronic illness. They begin with a brief update on Sherry’s immunoglobulin intravenous treatment, Melissa’s update on her experience learning ASL, and an explanation as to why it’s so crucial for ASL instructors to be part of the Deaf community themselves. They go on to share their thoughts on Facebook potentially becoming a virtual reality community, and acknowledge that, while technology has offered us many incredible advantages - particularly for those living with sensory loss - it can also have a scary side.
 
Next Melissa talks about having implantable collamer lenses in her eyes, and Sherry discusses her own vision issues, as well as the experience of temporarily losing her sense of taste and smell due to COVID last year. Our hosts explore the importance of breathing, and Melissa breaks down how it affects the way we perceive the world around us from a biological standpoint. They also chat about flare-ups related to food, regulating cravings, and living with a balance of moderation. Finally, you’ll hear a moving reading of the poem “A Blessing For One Who Is Exhausted” by John O'Donohue, Sherry and Melissa’s passionate discussion about learning to break the rules, and a closing breathing exercise that will leave you feeling a warm, comforting glow from within.
 
This podcast is not psychotherapy and does not contain medical advice, but is simply a recording of two friends talking.
 
Episode Highlights:
 
Melissa and Sherry begin with an update on Sherry’s immunoglobulin intravenous treatmentMelissa’s experience learning ASL and enrollment in a Queer ASL classASL instructors are typically Deaf or hard of hearing themselves as it is crucial for them to truly understand the Deaf experience and cultureFacial expressions are very important when communicating through sign language“Ready Player One” and the possibility of Facebook becoming a virtual reality communityTechnology has so many incredible advantages, especially for those with sensory loss, but it can also have a scary sideMelissa shares that she has implantable collamer lenses in her eyesSherry discusses her own experience with vision problems and temporarily losing her sense of taste and smell due to COVIDSherry uses her ears to see and Melissa uses her eyes to hearStaying grounded while living with sensory lossBreathing is crucial - it’s Sherry’s connection to the higher self Melissa gives a fascinating breakdown of how our breath can change the way we perceive the world around usSherry’s experience with anxiety and panicMelissa’s flare-up after eating bread and trying to regulate cravingsA reading of the poem “A Blessing For One Who Is Exhausted” by John O'DonohueHow Melissa overcame the belief that she couldn’t meditate due to the ringing in her earsBreaking the rules and focusing on your breathThe rules do not take sensory loss into considerationGuided breathing exercise
 
Quotes:
 
“I'm actually learning more than I did in any of those other classes.”
 
“That's why I always say the universe has your back.”
 
“I'm also glad that I didn't get into the immersion program, because it seemed like it was going to have a lot of ableist problems.”
 
“I think it's sort of frowned upon for hearing people to teach ASL… It feels wrong for hearing people to learn it from other hearing people for fun or something when it's a whole culture.”
 
“Yeah, I have implantable collamer lenses in my eyes.”
 
“I'm using my ears...

Sherry and Melissa begin today’s episode by checking in about their recent health challenges and flare-ups. They chat about the brain fatigue and exhaustion that often comes with sensory loss, and Melissa explains how she overflowed her “inflammation bucket”. They chat about the personal sacrifice it takes to live with chronic illness, the importance of meeting mental health needs for fun and connection, and having balance in their pursuit to eat a clean, anti-inflammatory diet. Sherry also describes how a sandwich led to a spiritual revelation with her therapist, and how her sense of “gallows humor” has helped her get through so many difficult situations in life.
Next, Sherry and Melissa reflect on the idea that we are only inhabiting our bodies for a short time. This can offer a sense of peace as we navigate life with chronic illness, and knowing that everything will be okay can empower us to take on a liberating “Everything is magic/F*** the world” mentality. Our hosts talk about calling on a divine light or source for help and compassion when we feel we can’t give them to ourselves, and Sherry offers one of her favorite mantras to remember that we don’t have to love what we’re going through to love the one going through it. Finally, Melissa concludes the show with mindfulness breathing exercises.
This podcast is not psychotherapy and does not contain medical advice, but is simply a recording of two friends talking.

Episode Highlights:
Sherry’s plasma exchange and tunneled catheterMelissa’s recent flare-up with her hearing loss condition, and conflicting advice she’s received about how to cope with flare-upsIndividuals with sensory loss tend to get easily fatiguedAfter a scare, Melissa is feeling grateful for her hearing, albeit limited, and more connected with her full selfShe overflowed her inflammation bucketLearning to live with physical limitations is an ongoing processSometimes they’ll push themselves and suffer the consequences later, but it can be worth it to meet mental health and connection needs (e.g., Sherry’s recent barbeque)You can’t neglect your other human needsAn anti-inflammatory diet is important, but should not consume you to the point of obsessionYou need to take care of yourself and pay attention to what your body is telling youSherry’s use of  “gallows humor” to get through tough situations in lifeShe can have a sense of humor because she knows everything is fine and she is only inhabiting this body for a whileEverything is magic/F*** the worldDarkness is a wonderful teacherIt’s important to have love and compassion for yourself, and Sherry finds it helpful to call on a divine light for this when she feels she can’t give it to herselfCalming breathing exercises

Quotes:
“Since I went all holistic and natural, I haven't really been in a medical environment or a hospital for about five years.”

“Every single person I dealt with was fantastic. They were kind and compassionate and sweet.”

“My struggle bus is up on blocks.”

“I had a flare up of endolymphatic hydrops condition where I have the roaring in my ears and the hearing loss, and I went and got a hearing test. And I had lost a big chunk of my low frequency hearing.”

“I have a little less than 50% hearing in my good ear.”

“The whole thing is exhausting. It's just freaking exhausting to try to navigate life.”

“We get really easily fatigued, because a portion of our brain is just not being utilized the way it's normally supposed to be utilized.”

“Right now I'm in a place where I'm so grateful for hearing, and also just more connected with my whole self.”

“I overflowed my...

When it comes to progressive sensory loss or any kind of degenerative health condition, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing something. But on today’s episode, Melissa and Sherry talk about reframing this as a healing process, and embracing the spiritual evolution that can come with it. Whether you’re connecting with your higher self, the universe, or divinity, it’s all about respecting the process and accepting that it’s what’s happening. While you may not be able to control what’s happening with your body, you can control your perspective and choose to look at this experience as an inward journey to self-love. 
Our hosts describe this journey of acceptance as a healing process of the soul, the mind, and the psyche - not just the body, and they reflect on letting go of the need for things to go a certain way. Melissa recalls her early experiences of hearing loss, and how a simple switch from spiraling into fear, to accepting that it’s what’s happening, could have changed her perspective entirely. Sherry acknowledges that we don’t have to like what’s happening to our bodies to be able to respect the process and gain something from it. They expand on their own moving experiences along this journey, and describe how music, comedy, and poetry have helped them find light in dark times. Finally, Melissa closes the show with another calming breathing exercise.

This podcast is not psychotherapy and does not contain medical advice, but is simply a recording of two friends talking.

Episode Highlights:
Melissa’s startling wakeup callSherry is taking care of the logistics before starting her next phase of medical care, and shares how she’s feeling about itSherry’s frustrating experience filling out forms online and lack of accessibility for visually impaired patientsMelissa is finally going to take a vacation from workSherry is no longer having her recurring dream about getting stuck ever since discussing it out loud, and she’s now able to see in her dreamsSherry is using dictation on her phone and computerToday’s topic is, “It’s what happening,” or “Respect the process”Spiritual evolution that happens in the healing process, whether you’re connecting to your higher self, the universe, or divinityThe only thing you can control is your perspective and embrace your experience as a journey to self loveIt’s a healing process, letting go of things needing to be a certain wayYou’re healing the soul, healing the mind, healing the psyche - not just the bodyYou don’t have to like what’s happening to be able to respect the process and what you can gain from itYou can’t rush through the pain because it’s a processYou can experience extreme darkness and pain and peace at the same timeThe Hilarious World of Depression podcast is a great example of finding humor and light in painOpening up to things you can’t see in the world Melissa reads “How to Live With My Body” by John RoedelBreathing exercise

Quotes:
“Ever since we talked about the dreams, I have not had one single dream where the road is stopping me or I can't get where I'm going.”

“Now I'm doing all kinds of things in my dreams!”

“If you're listening, and you're having a recurring dream that's bothering you, maybe tell somebody, say it out loud and see what happens.”

“It's what's happening. It's worth repeating. It's worth repeating many times during the day.”

“It's a spiritual evolution that's happening in the healing...

Sherry begins today’s episode with an update on her recent diagnosis regarding the uncomfortable numbness in her hands, and her next steps for treatment. Melissa and Sherry revisit their conversation about dream work, and discuss how liberating it can be to speak upsetting thoughts or feelings out loud to another person, as holding them in can make them turn darker. Next they talk about loneliness and isolation, both during the pandemic, and also the deeper sense of “soul loneliness” that often accompanies chronic health issues or sensory loss. They discuss the shame attached to loneliness, their preference for one-on-one conversations as individuals with sensory loss, and how loneliness can be a rite of passage in the spiritual journey toward growth and maturity. Finally, Melissa reads the moving words of John O’Donohue in his poem “For Loneliness,” and the show closes with a breathing exercise that calls on listeners to meet their loneliness with compassion.
This podcast is not psychotherapy and does not contain medical advice, but is simply a recording of two friends talking.

Episode Highlights:
Sherry received a diagnosis regarding the numbness in her handsShe has relapsing-remitting MS, which causes demyelination and lesions on the brain and spinal cordSherry’s numbness is extremely uncomfortable and she likens it to the feeling of ants crawling under her skinSteroids are the first line of defense for demyelination, but Sherry had a very bad allergic reaction to steroids and does not want to go that route - instead she’ll be doing plasmapheresisShe’ll need to have a port put in and go in every other day for this procedureShe’ll also need to have an IV infusion - intravenous immunoglobulinSherry loves the doctor she is working with now, and it makes all the difference to work with someone who truly listens and caresShe will also be trying hypnotherapy with her psychologist, and Melissa notes that this is similar to the dream work they discussed last timeMelissa shares that when she has a recurring dream or a thought that’s bothering her, sometimes simply saying it out loud changes itHolding on to upsetting thoughts or feelings can make them turn darkerNext, they speak about loneliness and isolation, particularly during the pandemicMelissa only had one person in her quarantine “pod” and would go weeks without seeing anyone in personAfter three weeks of isolation, Melissa felt a deep sense that something wasn’t right - she finally figured out that it was lonelinessSherry feels that being met with loneliness is a positive step toward growth and higher consciousnessShe shares her own experience of loneliness after she first got sick and felt like no one else could understand what she was going throughShe felt like she was inside of a cocoon and there was a healing happening insideThis comes back to leaving the pieces on the groundSherry had trouble understanding true loneliness before she got sick as she is an introvert and always enjoyed alone time - but this was different kind of “soul loneliness”In the past, if Melissa felt lonely, she would ignore that feeling because it’s so attached to shame - there’s something wrong with you if you’re aloneMelissa and Sherry both prefer small groups of people because their sensory loss can make big crowds overwhelming; it’s easier to communicate with one person at a timeTrying to process what everyone is saying can bring on mental fatigueIf you move through the feeling of loneliness, the shame goes away and the truth is revealed - there is nothing wrong with being alone“For Loneliness” by John...