Wholey Schmidt Sarah Schmidt

In this episode, I delve into the multifaceted journey of motherhood and what it means to me. With five incredible children who have entered my life in unique ways, I've had the privilege of experiencing motherhood from various perspectives. From becoming a legal guardian to navigating the complexities of adoption, to embracing the role of a stepmother, and finally, giving birth to my biological child at 44, each experience has enriched my understanding of what it means to mother and be mothered. Join me as I invite you to reflect on the different mothering roles in your life and the boundless possibilities within the realm of motherhood.

I don’t like to label myself and wasn't someone who thought much about my sexual orientation– throughout my life, I have just loved who I loved.

But when I fell in love with a woman, and it was clear that she was my life partner– I, like all gay people, was faced with the challenge of coming out and sharing that news with my family. To set the stage, it was 1996 in the Midwest, and if you’ve listened to previous episodes, you know that my mom was a former nun. Gay marriage wasn’t legal yet, and to put things into perspective, Ellen hadn’t even come out publicly yet!

Today I sit down with my mom, Barbara (again! Welcome back, Mom!), and we talk about how she felt when I came out. The way she responded and treated me and my wife was beyond any response I could have imagined.

Today we discuss how to embrace and support your loved ones, even if they make different choices than you would.

Coming out looks different for everyone. It can be really hard, scary, and confronting for you and the person you’re sharing with, but please know that you are not alone. I hope that you feel embraced by me and my mom through this episode.

If you or someone you know is in the process of coming out, please share this episode with them. Enjoy!

I didn't expect to fall in love when I did… and my path to getting there was in no way conventional. In this episode, I share the journey of my first marriage– from falling in love with Julie unexpectedly to navigating my new sense of identity… all the way to divorce.

I’m not someone who identifies with labels – I’ve always just loved who I loved and have been fortunate to have the support of my family along the way. I know this isn't the case for everyone… There is no right or wrong way to be in a relationship with someone – and we continue to bust through societal norms about how relationships should work – the traditional path looking like courtship, engagement, marriage, and staying with that one partner until we die. As it turns out, this cookie-cutter view of relationships isn't very realistic for most people, and it certainly wasn’t realistic for me.

Today we’re going to explore the nuance and grey space within relationships, beyond the bounds of tradition. I hope you enjoy this episode!

The "perfect moment" doesn't exist... stop waiting for it and face your fears.

This week, we have a very special round table episode with Sarah and two team members, Jessica Gill & Grace Abbott. They had a front-row seat to recording last week’s episode and listened live as Sarah & her mom had a meaningful and vulnerable conversation… If you haven’t listened to that one yet, listen first!

Jessica and Grace reflect on the recording and share some of their experience of having hard conversations with family members and some insight around how to have healthy communication and getting rid of the notion that there is a “perfect” moment to do anything.

Sarah shares how she felt pre/post-recording with her mom, and what it brought up in her – including encouraging a friend to have a bold conversation with her father, which she thought she’d never have!

If there is someone you need to have a vulnerable conversation with, we encourage you to drop your projection and assumption of what the outcome will be and boldly go forward to embrace healing. Can’t wait to hear what you think of this episode!

“Regardless of what comes of this podcast, it will all be worth it just for this episode.” – Sarah

We're thrilled to share this week's episode with you. This week, Sarah sits down with her mother, Barbara, to have a transformative and healing conversation about their relationship. Together, the two reflect on previous episodes and chapters of their mother/daughter relationship and achieve real-time resolution around themes from the past.

Get a glimpse into the growth and depth of Sarah’s relationship with her mother, and how it has evolved over the years. Learn how they've overcome challenges together to forge a stronger relationship today.

If there's someone you need to have a difficult or healing conversation with, this episode is for you!

Didn’t have perfect parents? Join the club. Listen to this week’s episode to find more empathy, forgiveness, and love for your parents. Can we give them the benefit of the doubt– maybe they were doing the best they could…

Nobody will ever be, or has ever been, a perfect parent. In pursuit of understanding our hurts, traumas, and wounds, we tend to blame our parents without considering why they couldn’t show up the way we needed them to. In this episode, you are going to hear a bit about my mom’s story and the challenges she faced. Taking care of her many siblings, joining the convent at 14, leaving at 25 and starting her own life for the first time, and processing a miscarriage. As you might recall from the last episode, my mom’s inability to support me during my cancer experience was one of the most painful times of my life. Yet, in learning more about her life experience it has allowed me a deeper understanding of why she may have shown up in the way she did. And now years later, I have developed a close, supportive, and beautiful relationship with her -- in fact, she will be on the podcast soon!

We’re often quick to vilify our parents, especially when reflecting on painful childhood memories that still affect us today. Nonetheless, we must remember that our parents are just humans too, doing the best they could with the tools and self-knowledge they had at the time. Even though it can be challenging to put resentments aside, I can attest from firsthand experience that giving my mom permission to grow and transform, instead of continuing to blame her for her shortcomings, has become one of the greatest gifts to me and my family.