Yellow Chair Collective: An Asian American Mental Health Podcast Yellow Chair Collective

What's Next for the Podcast? Welcoming Season 8 of Our Podcast, coming May 2024

In this episode, Helen Garcia interviews Alison Ly, LCSW, about the importance of setting boundaries. They discuss what boundaries are and how they can protect and preserve various aspects of our lives. Alison shares her personal struggles with boundaries and emphasizes that setting boundaries is an ongoing process.



Follow Allison Ly, LCSW-


Coaching Website: https://www.heyallisonly.com
Therapy Practice: https://www.allisonlytherapy.com
Instagram: @heyallisonly



Takeaways




Boundaries are anything that we feel can protect and preserve us, such as emotions, time, energy, and finances.
Setting boundaries is an ongoing process and new situations may require adjustments.
Boundaries can be set with others or internally, and it's important to prioritize self-care and personal needs.
Zooming out, prioritizing, and filtering priorities can help maintain focus and balance in work and personal life.
Reflective questions can help identify the root causes of boundary struggles, and it's important to address and process dark thoughts and emotions. Grief can have a significant impact on relationships, causing individuals to blame themselves and overcompensate to prove their worth.
Healing from childhood patterns is essential for improving relationships and living a fulfilling life.
Recognizing signs of readiness for healing, such as a desire for positive relationships and a willingness to change, is crucial.
Creating boundaries and making space for personal needs is essential for self-care and sustaining healthy relationships.
Indirect boundaries can be effective in certain situations, allowing individuals to prioritize their needs without explicitly stating them.







Chapters



00:00 Introduction and Background

01:02 Understanding Boundaries

05:29 Boundaries in the Context of Work

07:12 Setting Boundaries as a Parent

09:15 Zooming Out and Prioritizing

11:48 Identifying Signs of Boundary Crossings

13:05 Planning and Goal Setting

14:20 Filtering Priorities

19:46 Reflective Questions for Boundary Keeping

21:52 Dealing with Dark Thoughts and Emotions

22:10 The Impact of Grief on Relationships

23:47 Longing and Grief

24:27 Healing from Childhood Patterns

25:42 Signs of Readiness for Healing

27:10 The Challenge of Changing Others

28:19 Making Space for Personal Needs

29:12 The Journey of Self-Reflection

30:01 Saying No and Creating Boundaries

31:29 Understanding Personal Needs

32:15 The Importance of Self-Care

34:43 The Course on Setting Boundaries

36:36 Reframing Guilt and Self-Hatred

37:21 Having Boundary Conversations

39:16 Indirect Boundaries and Communication

42:11 Reflecting on Personal Boundaries

In this conversation, therapist Robyn Tamanaha discusses her experience and expertise in working with OCD and bipolar disorder. She provides advice for individuals going into therapy and addresses common misconceptions about these conditions. They also delve into the topic of burnout and share personal experiences and strategies for avoiding and recovering from burnout.



Chapters


00:00 Introduction and Personal Plans
01:36 Background and Specialties
04:04 Advice for Therapy
06:30 Misconceptions about OCD and Bipolar
09:28 Misdiagnosis and Differentiating OCD and Bipolar
13:36 Treatment Options for OCD and Bipolar
17:06 Interpersonal and Social Rhythm Therapy
19:02 Client Reactions to Diagnosis
22:45 Creating a Safe Space for Clients
25:15 Early Career Experiences
28:50 Sustaining Energy and Self-Care
35:02 The Dangers of Reckless Driving
35:38 Taking Action and Avoiding Burnout
36:37 Physical Signs of Burnout
38:22 Creating Routines and Self-Care Practices
39:22 Personal Experience with Burnout
40:16 Recognizing the Check Engine Light
41:18 The Pressure to Succeed
42:09 Finding Balance and Nurturing Other Aspects of Life
43:48 The Importance of Community and Connection
46:08 Stepping Outside of Comfort Zones
50:45 Lessons to Leave Behind



Work with Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT -


https://www.robyntamanahatherapy.com/


https://www.instagram.com/robyntamanahatherapy/?hl=en

In this conversation, Yellow Chair Therapist, Mina Yoon, shares her experiences growing up with an emotionally immature parent and her late diagnosis of ADHD. We explore the complexity of parent-child relationships and the importance of setting boundaries. She highlights the impact of shame and the validation that comes with an ADHD diagnosis.



Takeaways




Adult children of emotionally immature parents may struggle with setting boundaries and experience guilt and shame.
Understanding the signs and symptoms of emotionally immature parents can help individuals recognize and address the impact on their lives.
Starting the path of recovery without therapy can involve self-reflection, research, and self-compassion.
Preserving the relationship with a parent while setting boundaries is possible and can be beneficial for one's mental health.
Late diagnosis of ADHD is common, especially in women and people of color, and can provide validation and understanding.
Hyper-focus is a common trait in ADHD, leading to intense interest in hobbies or activities that may be dropped abruptly.



Chapters




00:00 Introduction
03:59 Enjoyed preschool, felt like authentic self. Good food, friends, carefree, vivid memories.
08:17 Relating to books and being seen.
10:16 Emotionally immature parent acts like a child.
13:27 Asian family dynamics: trust, independence, and extremes.
17:28 Complex trauma leads to identity and control loss.
22:19 Cultural influence on setting boundaries with family.
25:12 Setting boundaries preserves relationships while prioritizing self.
28:40 Struggled academically after elementary school, college performance poor.
31:58 ADHD diagnosis helps reduce shame, provides validation.
36:48 Struggling with focus, need deadlines and consequences.
40:32 Being honest and apologizing helps manage shame.
43:39 Balancing self blame with reflection, overcoming challenges.
45:41 Surrendering addiction, seeking approval, learning from adversity.
49:55 Continuously working through life, a lifelong journey.
51:26 Finding freedom in small steps towards authenticity.

In today's episode, we interview Stanford Psychologist and President of the Asian American Psychological Association, Dr. Christine Catipon on grief, challenges in leadership, and imposter syndrome.





Takeaways






Leadership comes with challenges, but it is important to approach it with humility and a willingness to have difficult conversations.
Spirituality and faith can provide grounding and support during challenging times.
Imposter syndrome is common, but it is important to remember that our worth is not defined by external achievements.
Self-compassion and authenticity are key in navigating personal and professional growth.
Building community and finding connection with others is essential for personal and collective healing. Understanding and embracing pain can lead to self-actualization and personal growth.
Finding support and making a difference in one's work can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Balancing multiple responsibilities requires self-care and prioritizing one's health.
Trusting one's inner wisdom and following the path that aligns with personal growth is essential for making decisions and finding fulfillment.



Chapters




00:00 Introduction
02:27 Challenges of Leadership
03:35 Imposter Syndrome and Power
06:59 Navigating Leadership and Cultural Humility
08:36 Handling World Events and Building Community
10:28 Self-Compassion and Authenticity
16:46 Spirituality and Faith
23:08 Identity Crisis and Personal Growth
30:47 Advice to Younger Self
36:39 Writing a Book and Inner Dialogue
37:16 Discovering Self-Actualization through Understanding Pain
38:24 The Second Valley: Dealing with Family Health Issues
39:18 The Devastating Impact of Preventative Surgeries
41:09 Finding Support and Making a Difference at UC Irvine
42:35 Feeling Supported at Stanford and Taking on Leadership Roles
44:19 Balancing Multiple Responsibilities
45:16 Self-Indulgence and Self-Care
47:57 Trusting Inner Wisdom and Following the Path
50:55 Using Feelings and Authenticity to Make Decisions
52:13 Being the Expert on Your Own Life
52:59 Positive Feedback and Impact on Others
53:31 Gratitude and Appreciation

In this episode Helen is joined by fellow therapist, Khai Hoang, to discuss societal pressures and overcoming the struggle to prove oneself. From discussing the impact of privilege and societal norms to the complexities of social media and the journey towards self-acceptance, this episode is a candid exploration of imposter syndrome, authenticity, and embracing uncertainties.





Takeaways


Doubt and uncertainty are universal experiences that can be alleviated through sharing vulnerabilities and seeking understanding from others.
Embracing mistakes and not knowing can lead to personal growth and a sense of freedom.
Trusting your gut and following your intuition can lead to positive outcomes and a deeper sense of self-trust.
Letting go of societal expectations and embracing personal growth can lead to greater acceptance and fulfillment.
Building trust and relationships in the workplace is essential for a sustainable and meaningful career.
Connection and community are vital for personal well-being and a sense of belonging.





Time Stamps




00:00 Navigating privilege and humility in academic spaces.
04:26 Commentary on being judged based on appearance.
07:42 No need for validation, self-acceptance is important.
10:51 Society's hyper-awareness leads to constant scrutiny.
15:16 Respect privacy and set healthy sharing boundaries.
17:25 Creating without fear of external perception is liberating.
20:58 Social pressure and navigating identity challenges.
24:31 Self-acceptance in the face of judgment.
29:17 Understanding privilege, acceptance, and emotional awareness in childhood.
30:43 Shared feelings of insecurity and imposter syndrome.
35:31 Acceptance of self is not about doing.
37:55 Trusting your gut amidst societal pressure.
42:28 Anxiety about career, Asian excellence, and pressure.
44:05 Trusting environment allows focus on meaningful work.
47:20 Value community, relationships and being present.