Unraveling Adoption Beth Syverson

"Being trans was not in my product description, and my 30-day money-back guarantee return policy has long since expired." -- Sanjay Pulver
Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01J0SD1AHPJ1FJB1CNPPBS59TC
Episode Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Sanjay Pulver, a transracial intercountry adoptee from India, who shared his unique journey as a trans man raised by white parents in San Diego, California. Sanjay's story sheds light on the complexities of being an adoptee and navigating the intersections of adoption, gender identity, and cultural heritage.
Sanjay shared his origin story, revealing his relinquishment in a small village outside of Hyderabad, India, and his subsequent adoption journey to the United States. He discussed the challenges of not having access to information about his biological family and the cultural barriers in India that hinder reunion efforts for adoptees.
The conversation delved into Sanjay's experience of questioning his gender identity from a young age and his journey towards transitioning, both socially and medically. He candidly discussed the complexities of coming out as a lesbian before transitioning and the mixed reactions from his adoptive parents, who initially wanted a daughter from India.
As a trans adoptee, Sanjay highlighted the additional layers of identity and the challenges he faces in finding acceptance and understanding within both the adoptee and LGBTQ+ communities. He emphasized the importance of allyship and respect for trans individuals, urging listeners to prioritize using correct pronouns and avoiding invasive questions about surgeries or procedures.
The episode also touched on the dangers and legislative challenges faced by trans individuals in the current political climate, emphasizing the need for support and advocacy to ensure the safety and well-being of the trans community.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Sanjay’s information:
Find Sanjay on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sanjay.pulver/
Listen to Sanjay’s episode on Haley Radke’s Adoptees On podcast: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/276

Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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00:05:30 - Adoption Trends from India: Sanjay Pulver discusses the history and trends of intercountry adoption from India.
00:08:03 - Questioning Gender Identity: Sanjay shares about when he started questioning his gender identity.
00:09:35 - Transitioning Process: Sanjay talks about his process of transitioning, both socially and medically.
00:11:07 - Parental Acceptance: Discussion on how Sanjay's adoptive parents reacted to his coming out as gay.
00:12:53 - Fear of Rejection: Sanjay expresses his concerns about potential rejection from his adoptive parents due to his gender identity.
00:14:13 - Reunion Considerations: Sanjay reflects on the complexities of potentially reuniting with his birth family in India.
00:17:43 - Transgender Rights: Sanjay highlights the challenges faced by trans indi

"I think it's really important at this moment for us in our society to understand that we collectively and continuously, in every little micro level ways and macro level ways, differentially value mothers in America, and we are still making decisions that are rooted in really bigoted assumptions, that are rooted in racism." -- Rebecca Wellington
Read the transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01J09C5Y6TQQ0BNNNA4NWA8M8Q
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Rebecca Wellington, an adoptee, mom, and historian, to discuss the complexities of motherhood in the context of adoption. Rebecca's new book, Who is a Worthy Mother?, serves as a hybrid memoir and adoption history, delving into the societal perceptions of motherhood and adoption in the U.S.
Rebecca shares her personal adoption story, highlighting the challenges and complexities she faced growing up as an adoptee. She reflects on her journey of self-discovery and the impact of motherhood on her understanding of adoption trauma. The conversation touches on the historical context of adoption policies, including eugenics and forced sterilizations, shedding light on the systemic injustices faced by marginalized communities.
The discussion also explores the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade and its implications on adoption and motherhood. Rebecca emphasizes the need for a deeper understanding of how societal biases and prejudices shape perceptions of motherhood and adoption. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to engage with Rebecca's book, share their reviews, and join the conversation on adoption and mothering.
The episode serves as a thought-provoking exploration of the intersection of adoption, motherhood, and historical injustices, inviting listeners to reflect on their own beliefs and perceptions surrounding these topics.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Rebecca’s information:
Reach out to Rebecca and find all her links at https://linktr.ee/rebeccawellington
Order Rebecca’s book Who Is a Worthy Mother? here: https://amzn.to/3XFoyD9
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency by Sharon Kaplan Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon: https://amzn.to/3z2ZrQk
"You Should Bea Grateful": Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker: https://amzn.to/3KI0iIz Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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00:00:00 - Introduction to the Podcast
00:05:30 - Becca's Adoption Story
00:10:00 - Impact of Roe vs. Wade
00:16:00 - History of Eugenics and Forced Sterilizations
00:20:00 - Understanding Motherhood in America
00:22:00 - Book Information and Call for Reviews


 

"I'm just enjoying the journey. What happens when the journey is over? Then what? So I'm just chasing the buzz." - Ryan Anderson
Read the transcript; or read along while listening, if you have trouble udnerstanding Ryan's lovely Scottish accent: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HZTEF176BBAYC769S710N7JB
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ryan Anderson, a foundling and transnational, transracial, and late discovery adoptee. Ryan shared his incredible journey of being found on the streets of Morocco as an infant and later being adopted by an English mother and Moroccan father in Scotland. The revelation of his adoption at the age of 18 sent him on a tumultuous path of self-medication with alcohol and drugs, but he has been sober for 10 months now.
Ryan's story is one of resilience and determination as he embarks on a relentless search for his birth family in Morocco. Despite facing challenges such as language barriers and limited resources, Ryan has not given up hope. He has explored various avenues, including DNA testing, visiting hospitals and courts in Morocco, and even appearing on Moroccan TV to share his story.
Throughout the episode, Ryan candidly discusses his struggles with mental health, the impact of his adoption on his identity, and the ongoing quest to find his roots. Despite facing negative comments and setbacks, Ryan remains steadfast in his pursuit, driven by a deep yearning to connect with his biological family.
As the host, I was struck by Ryan's unwavering determination and vulnerability in sharing his story. His journey serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities of adoption and the profound longing for belonging. Ryan's courage and resilience in the face of adversity are truly inspiring, and his willingness to share his experiences sheds light on the emotional complexities of the adoption journey.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Ryan (Peshy)’s information:
Connect with Ryan on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/peshy37
Or find him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/peshy
Watch Ryan’s 15-minute YouTube video about his life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=4C-LNcmxdFk&feature=youtu.be
Read Ryan’s 37-page story: https://peshy37.wordpress.com/2021/02/18/my-story/?
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
If you enjoy our podcast, please RATE and/or REVIEW Unraveling Adoption on Apple or Spotify. It really helps our episodes reach more ears. Thank you!
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Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and herself as an adoptive mom.
00:03:10 - Desire to Help Others: Ryan Anderson discusses his burning desire to help others and his people-pleasing tendencies.
00:06:42 - Discovery of Adoption at 18: Ryan shares his experience of finding out about his adoption at the age of 18 and the impact it had on him.
00:10:06 - Coping Mechanisms During COVID: Ryan talks about how COVID-19 impa

"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke
Read the transcript here:
https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HZE3F00W8S92RJM8N2F3METT
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kristal Parke, an adoptee and filmmaker behind the acclaimed documentary Because She's Adopted. Kristal shared her journey of self-discovery and identity exploration through the creation of her film, which delves into her childhood, reunion with her birth mother, struggle with addiction, and intentional reconnection with her Indigenous heritage. The film has received critical acclaim and won awards, shedding light on the complexities of adoption.
Kristal discussed the impact of her film on her family, crew, and herself, highlighting the vulnerability and growth that came with sharing her story. She emphasized the importance of owning her narrative and the evolution of her understanding of adoption. The podcast episode also touched on the behind-the-scenes process of creating the documentary, including the support of her adoptive family, crew members, and the challenges and joys of filming.
Listeners were encouraged to watch the film, which is set to be officially released by fall 2024. Kristal shared details on how to stay connected with updates and screenings.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Kristal’s information:
Check our Kristal’s film’s website to keep informed of future events: KristalParke.net
Follow the film at Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551013663413
Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/becauseshesadopted/
Email Kristal at Kristal@BecauseShesAdopted.com
Watch a trailer of the film Because She’s Adopted: https://youtu.be/uCnQPDnxgA0?si=VY6e4ZvgfbyTHzXF
Catch the Hiraeth Hope & Healing screening on June 15, 2024: https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/because-shes-adopted
 
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
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Timestamps:
00:00:02 - Introduction to Kristal Parke: Beth introduces Kristal Parke, a Canadian adoptee and filmmaker, and talks about her acclaimed documentary "Because She's Adopted."
00:05:31 - Unique Adoption Story: Kristal shares the unique story of how she was chosen based on her gender for adoption.
00:10:18 - Residential School Trauma: Kristal discusses the traumatic experiences of Indigenous children in Canadian residential schools.
00:12:26 - Reunion with Birth Mother: Kristal recounts her emotional reunion with her birth mother and meeting her older brother.
00:14:58 - Impact on Family: Kristal reflects on how her family, including her brothers and father, were affected by the documentary.
00:17:43 - Supportive Husband: Kristal talks about the role of her husband in the docu

“I didn't want to lose them. I loved them both and I thought, it's hard to think about your life separated. I guess now knowing all that I know about being separated from the first person that I was supposed to be with, you know, I just never wanted to be separated from either one of them.” -- Jane Spreckley
 
Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Jane Spreckley, an adoptee whose adoptive parents divorced when she was 14 years old. Jane shares her experience of how the divorce activated her abandonment issues and impacted her relationships. She emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents seeking therapy with adoption-competent therapists for their children during difficult times like divorce. Jane also highlights the significance of open communication and compassion within families going through similar situations. The conversation sheds light on the complexities adoptees face during divorce and the need for understanding and support. 
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 📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX 
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RESOURCES:
 
Jane’s information:
 
Find Jane on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/jane.spreckley.9
Email Jane at Spreck529@verizon.net
 
Other Resources:
 
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
 
===============
 
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
 
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Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast
00:05:30 - Jane's Experience with Parents' Divorce
00:10:00 - Realization of Impact from First Abandonment
00:13:30 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Going Through Divorce
00:17:20 - Advice for Adoptees Dealing with Divorcing Parents
00:20:00 - Encouragement for Self-Compassion and Support for Jane
00:21:30 - Gratitude to Patreon Supporters and Call to Share the Episode

“I have a hard time believing in love, that love just really exists, that you can love somebody. Then I feel like I have a hard time loving men and stuff, so I wouldn't want them to get hurt if they ever felt like I didn't love them.” - Tammy Murphy

Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Tammy Murphy, a Black, same-race, domestic adoptee living in Indiana. Tammy shared her struggles with social anxiety and dissociation, stemming from her adoption experience. She recounted how her adoptive mother's inconsistent responses to her questions about being adopted led to confusion and a sense of not belonging. Tammy also shared her journey of self-medication with substances like alcohol and marijuana to cope with her feelings of disconnect and identity crisis.
Despite facing challenges in forming deep relationships and feeling a sense of authenticity, Tammy has taken steps towards healing. She recently started therapy and has begun journaling to identify triggers and coping mechanisms. Tammy expressed her aspirations to become an adoption therapist and to write a memoir titled Two to Forgive, focusing on forgiveness towards her birth mother and adoptive mother.
Throughout the episode, Tammy emphasized the importance of honesty in adoptive families, early communication about adoption, and seeking therapy and self-help resources to navigate the complexities of adoption trauma. 
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Resource mentioned in this episode:
Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding and Healing In Adoption, Foster Care, Kinship Families and Third Party Reproduction: https://amzn.to/3QLyqXF Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com 
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION

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TIME STAMPS:

00:05:30 - Connecting with Others as an Adoptee
00:11:01 - Seeking Therapy and Beginning to Address Adoption Trauma
00:14:06 - Future Goals: Becoming an Adoption Therapist
00:15:50 - Advice for Adoptive Parents: Honesty and Openness
00:16:40 - Impact of Lies and Deception on Adoptees
00:18:16 - Advice for Adoptees: Therapy, Emotional Intelligence, and Coping Strategies