Truth Talk with Wendi Wendi Rees

info@endabuse.com; Psalms 51:12, Isaiah 55:1, John 6:54, 2 Timothy 2:22, James 4:7 Brandon: It's one of those things where, you know, you're doing the wrong thing and you just feel like you can't help yourself and can't get out of that despair. That's the whole point. The start of the addictive cycle is despair. And despair can be lots of different things. Despair is not necessarily what you think, in the way of discouraged or depressed. Despair can be loneliness. Despair can be boredom. Despair can be guilt. There are so many different things that would fall under the category of despair, right? And then there's a trigger. Right? So, you get triggered from the despair. Then there's the fantasy. So, the trigger can be cleavage. The trigger can be a commercial. The trigger can be a magazine sitting on the rack as you go by, you know, and you're in this despair, you have this trigger. So then there's the fantasy and then there's the acting out. After the acting out, you despair. The guilt and white knuckling mindset of, I'm not going to do this anymore, and I'm going to white knuckle it until I get in that despair again, and then there's a trigger and, you know, so that was one of the things that helped me a lot with counseling, getting into counseling and understanding the addictive cycle. It was the Lord pursuing me. It was the Lord showing me these things. You have a bigger problem than looking at porn. Your bigger problem is you're not looking to me. So, just not looking at porn is not going to solve it. I mean there's Buddhists and Hindus and all these people that are so pure in their way of living and not contaminating their minds and being at peace or whatever. So, they're way more disciplined than most Christians and conquered their selfish desires and all these things, but they're not walking with Christ. They're not walking in the light. They're in the dark. So, the point is not to just not look at porn, right? The point is to be satisfied in Christ and so the Lord is like, okay, yeah, the triage, we're going to stop the bleeding and you know, your wife now knows and so she's going to help you and you're going to have some boundaries. I needed that time. I needed the understanding, the destruction of what this is doing, right. And obviously, I knew it was wrong, but all the things that we say to ourselves is that it's not hurting anybody. It's just between me and God and I know I'm sinning, but it's not hurting anybody else. Wendi: I'm extremely thankful that you have overcome the sex addiction and I'm thankful that you are willing to open up about it here and because I know there are so many people that watch us that have been, you know, affected by people who did not stop and get help. They made it to level three and four and and so you know, and there's so much damage and you know, and so thankfully that was something that you recognized and like you said, you know, the whole getting busted, was God's way of rescuing you from that pit that you were in. And so I know that that if there is anybody that is listening to this or struggling, and they need any kind of resources, you can definitely email us and we will get you in touch with Brandon who can get you some direction in that because I know in just watching you I've seen the change up close and personal and I know that you don't struggle like you did.

www.thrivingforwardblog.com; https://Facebook.com/groups/advocateswithattitude; "Predators" written by Anna Salter with trigger warning  https://www.amazon.com/Predators-Pedophiles-Rapists-Other-Offenders/dp/0465071732; www.recoveringgrace.org  Trigger Warning: Some listeners may find the content of this episode disturbing because of trauma or bad experiences in their lives. Some stories may trigger emotionally disturbing memories.  Andrew J. Bauman — porn recovery resources and support

Anne Blythe — betrayal trauma support

Sarah McDugal — support for momma’s surviving post-abuse

Sheila Gregiore — Biblical sex teaching

Gretchen Baskerville— Biblical divorce support

Emily:   It was pretty tumultuous. My parents’ marriage was never good. Not even from the beginning. And I would say as I approached about the age of eight, is when I started to spot my dad's narcissism and I started to realize even when he was playing with me, he was really more self-absorbed with himself and everything was really about him and I started to say things to my mom, like, “I really don’t think Dad loves me.” As an eight-year-old I could pick up on that stuff. And then life really started to fall apart when I was about 10.  My father had addictions going on, and I found pornography on his computer. One time, my mom and I watched him pick up prostitutes. While I was in my mom's car, we could see the road ahead, my father's vehicle and we would watch prostitutes get in his car.  He was engaged in quite a bit of behavior and the stress really started to affect me and then at about age 11 or 12, his sex addiction turned toward me and the abuse started. I was molested when I was 12. It didn't go beyond molestation, but I was definitely targeted and groomed for at least 10 years. All throughout my teenage years and into my early 20s, I always felt preyed upon, and I always knew that it was wrong even before I knew what sex was, and I know you've talked about this.  When you didn't even know what sex was and yet you knew something was wrong, and I was feeling used and violated. And like I said, preyed upon, and I knew it was wrong. Even though I didn't know all the words and the definitions of exactly what was going on, and I really didn't understand it. I was in my mid-20s and in counseling at that point, but yeah, that abuse started pretty early on. As a result, my little 10-year-old body didn't know what to do with all of this. I developed a severe, life-threatening autoimmune disease called Crohn's disease. And so, in the middle of all this abuse as a teenager, I was also living in and out of hospitals just barely staying alive. I think my lowest weight was 73 pounds when I was 16. You know, so I really looked like a holocaust victim. You could see every single bone in my body. I was just absolutely deathly ill. There was a brief separation that was mutually agreed upon for my sake, because the tension in the home was so severe, me and my mom knew that it was making me sicker. And so, there was an unusually made decision with a counselor that my father would temporarily be out of the home, which lasted less than a year and it would just be so they could continue counseling, and so I would be a little bit removed from that situation. But he finally just got to the point, had a couple of counselors fire him because they knew he wasn't willing to do any of the work. And others just flat out wouldn't take him because they would do one interview with him and they would tell my mom he's not going to take them on as a client because he's not willing. He's not willing to do anything. So, I guess after one year he finally just got fed up and came home one night and said, I have found an apartment and I'm leaving tomorrow. And that was it. He took a shower and went to bed, got up the next morning and he was gone, was not a fight. 

https://library.samford.edu/special/treasures/2005/mite.htmlJohn 4; Mark 12:42; Matthew 26:7; John 19 Welcome to another episode of Truth Talk with Wendi. I am so excited to come to you today and tell you about a life changing experience that I just had.  I'm sure you guys have noticed that I have not put an episode out in a while and I have been gone. I had the privilege of literally traveling across the world to the place where Jesus was born, raised, died and rose again and I literally walked in his steps. Yes, I went to Israel and I cannot find the words to explain to you the impact that this trip has had on me. Clearly, if any of you have watched for any length of time, you know that my mission in life has been to be an advocate for children and of childhood sexual abuse survivors and you know, to keep that from happening to other children.  I love what I do. I love that I've been able to implement stuff here at my own home and then also helped many  other families, youth groups and women's groups with the information that God has shown me in years and years of research. That research gets very dark as I'm assuming that you guys would know. But I have never complained about doing it or actually there's times that in doing my own research, it actually validates a lot of the feelings that I've had and the struggles that I've had because I know I'm not alone. I am excited that God opened this opportunity for me to go because it has absorbed my thinking in it. I cannot watch enough firsthand documentaries from people who tour over there and who have gone and just videoed what they're seeing and taught. I mean I'm obsessed with learning.  It's different to be there. It's so different to read the Bible. For instance,  let me tell you about Jacob's well  where Jesus talked to the woman of Samaria.   He told her about herself and she was so overwhelmed that he was a Jew talking to her and  he knew everything about her and he didn't condemn her. She went back to this town, Samaria, and told everybody she knew and they all wanted to come see him. So by the word of her testimony, and then after they heard from her by the blood of the Lamb, they all believed because this woman was overwhelmed. Well, he met her at Jacobs Well, Jacob like you know, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob like that Jacob. So this well is so old, like 1000s of years old, and we went to the well, stood by the well, and used the little bucket down in the water, which is like 120 or 40 feet down and the water came up, and we drank the water. From Jacobs Well, the same water that this woman came to draw that Jesus asked her for, I mean  I cannot wrap my brain around that and it is so convicting when you're standing there. What would Jesus have said to me, like the woman of Samaria? We want to go because he said to her, you know, go get your husband and she's like, Oh, I don't have a husband. He's says, you don't have a husband because you've 'had five husbands and the man you're living with now, he's not even your husband.   She'd been married and divorced five times. That's probably nothing compared to some of the things that we've done, but wouldn't like it broadcasted in a book where 2000 years later people are reading about it? Right? So it's just so humbling to stand there and think this is that place.

info@endabuse.com; www.endabuse.com; Southspring.org; www.chrismlegg.com; www.alethiacounseling.com; https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0670785938/;  https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+wounded+heart+dan+allender&gclid;  https://www.christianbook.com/wounded-adult-victims-childhood-sexual-abuse/dan-allender/9781600063077/; https://www.denisonforum.org/biblical-living/struggling-with-mental-illness-consider-these-7-ideas/; https://julieroys.com/john-macarthur-church-supported-convicted-abuser-pedophile/; https://julieroys.com/john-macarthur-covered-up-pastor-sexual-abuse-witnesses-say/;@BethMooreLPM; @reachjulieroys

Hey guys! Welcome to another episode of Truth Talk with Wendi. I cannot tell you how excited I am today to have our special guest. This is Chris Legg. He is not only my very good friend, he is my counselor, my sanity, the one who Jim sends me to when he's heard enough.  "Have you talked to Chris about this yet?" No, I'll put that on the list. It's been an interesting journey. But you have many many hats. These are the hats you play to me although you have played more hats than that. But I think it's very interesting because he is also the pastor at South Spring Baptist Church. which is a great church here and it used to be First Baptist South, which is when I first met you, and you and I talked,  when I got into ministry through No Hungry Children, and very supportive, very onboard.  You have had the same heart and I think God used that to bring us together.  But what was amazing for me was just in getting to know you. And the fact that you were a Baptist preacher, this is really not a Baptist preacher. Multiple times I said, you need to stop telling people that because even though it's the same denomination, you are a very, very different Baptist, and God has really used you to heal a big wound for me. I have been seeing you for many, many years as a counselor and you've been instrumental in the ministry that I've done. Chris Legg:  I think it's fascinating, by the way, I was thinking on the way here, I’d love to hear Ben Shapiro Co-host his therapist on his podcast, like, I want to get his counselor on their podcast.  Wendi: We're talking about triggers.  And there may be some triggers that they might hear in our conversation today.  And that's kind of what triggered this episode is what was recently in the news. There's been a lot of information that has come out in regards to John MacArthur and his alleged cover up of sexual abuse within his church. So the first the first story or article that I read, it was not triggering to me and I don't know why it did not trigger me the same, but the second one,  that's why I came and talk to you about it because I thought my head was gonna pop off and I felt so horrible that I reacted that way and was so down on myself because I thought I needed to be further along than this.

After church was over, we were talking to some people we knew, and my son struck up a conversation with someone, and the Lord really kind of laid on both of our hearts before we left to invite this person to go to lunch. So, that's what we did. This person is very interesting. I hesitate to even share this because I don't know how to talk about this without coming across as being offensive in some way. It will be because of ignorance. This is not a subject matter that I am familiar with, never had a reason to be familiar with it. There are so many preconceived notions of how this works, and especially how it relates to God. And today it just made me stop and think about it.   Will it change my mind? I don’t know, it's too early to say, but I want to share it because I cannot be the only person who is a Christian and who's trying to please the Lord and hear the Holy Spirit, who must feel this way. So that's why I wanted to share this.   This person is a man and he has a man's name.   He introduced himself as a man, but in the conversation, it was obvious by looking at him that he looked different than me, different than my son and my husband, different than a lot of people but you know, we're all different in our own odd, unique special ways. And so I usually don't let that deter me a lot.  I try to always get to the heart of somebody, not wanting the outside of them to force me to make a judgment, although that's easy to do just from society and who we are around normally. But you know, I wasn't going to do that.   I wanted to find out about him and his life and how it affects where he is today. He was 60 years old. So, I say all that to say that this conversation was very much about God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus. He loves the Lord and from little, he was raised as a Christian.  If I was talking to him on the phone, it would never have, and in the conversation that would have never come up. I would have thought nothing, but I made a new friend today. But obviously, a difference between him and most men and he was well aware of it and wasn't shy about it.  He has been neglected, shunned, abandoned, and rejected by his own family members, and clearly a lot of society because of it. But yet, I'm having a conversation with him about God. I'm not having to convince him that there is a God, that Jesus loves him, that the Holy Spirit can live inside of him. I excused myself, I went to the bathroom and I was just praying  God can you show me what I'm supposed to do here? I don't know how to be in this debate. I don't know what to say here. I have no concept of what he's going through.  So, I think this debate and this subject matter are so front and center in our society right now. And I feel that we as Christians need to be very much more informed about what is really going on in their head. people who've been through trauma, people who have been rejected and abandoned as a child, there are many different results and roads that someone goes down to cope with or try to figure out and identify with the trauma that comes from that. I would really like some feedback from any Christian, a self-proclaimed Christian who believes, who has any kind of experience with this?

Imagine Heaven Link: https://imagineheaven.net/ John Burke Books: "No Perfect People Allowed", "Unshockable Love", Soul Revolution" JohnBurkeonline.com We're going to talk about “Imagine Heaven”, a book John Burke wrote about Near Death Experiences as he has talked to close to 1000 people and has 120 stories included in this book. People who have been to heaven and actually met God and they came back to earth and are telling about their experiences. Wendi asked, "How in the world did you first get interested in this topic?" Well, I was an agnostic and really didn’t know what I believed about God. I thought Jesus was probably just a good person and I had kind of rebelled against the church. But my dad was dying of cancer, and someone gave him the very first book on people who researched these near-death experiences where people clinically died. Their heart stops beating in the ER. They have a heart attack and no brainwaves. These were all documented by clinical medicine. They were resuscitated and they came back talking about how they were even more alive than they had ever been, in a place that was more real than this place. Many different commonalities that they shared. I read that book I saw on my dad's dresser. This is evidence that this stuff is real. I was curious. I became an engineer and so I am very analytical. I kept researching as well and during that time I was invited to a small Bible Study and because of that, I was open and so I came to understand the grace of God and I came to Christ. Years later I left engineering and actually went into ministry, a lot because of the picture I got from seeing what the Bible said and what these people were saying and it's not that these people were adding anything to scripture, but coloring in what was already there. It literally took me 35 years of research. When people leave their bodies, and they're looking down, they're watching the resuscitation. They've been able to tell what was going on and corroborate things that they couldn't have otherwise known. The Gallup poll found that millions of people have had these experiences. So this is not uncommon. And the commonalities or, and again, not everyone is exactly the same, right. But if I were to kind of summarize, a person leaves their body, you know, they have a heart attack or some other traumatic thing and as they leave their body... what they're very aware of is they feel more alive than they've ever felt before. They still are themselves. In fact, they're more themselves than they've ever been. They say it's a spiritual body. And so that's what these people say, is that you're more yourself. We have five senses, right? They say no, it's more like 50 senses. It's like, super alive like Superman or Superwoman. Scripture References: John 20:19-20, Acts 14, 2Corinthians 12:2, 1Corinthians 15, Revelation 21, Ecclesiastes 3:11, Daniel 12, Matthew 13, John 8:12, Mark 9:2-4, Romans 8:17, 2 Peter 3:8, Romans 8:1, Deuteronomy 6:5, Mark 12:33, Matthew 25, 1 Samuel 16:7, Hebrews 11:6, Ephesians 6:11, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Isaiah 63:9, Matthew 10:16, 1 Corinthians 13, John 15:7, Ephesians 1, Galatians 5, John 15, Matthew 28:20, John 16:13, Romans 8:1