The Hilary Silver Podcast Subscriber Edition

Episode #12: "Chasing Closure" of The Hilary Silver Podcast Introduction:
In this week’s episode, Hilary dives into the often misunderstood concept of closure in relationships. She explores why seeking closure from others can be unfulfilling and emphasizes the empowerment found in self-given closure. This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with unresolved feelings from past relationships. Hilary encourages listeners to reclaim power over their emotional well-being by fostering self-awareness and internal closure, rather than depending on external validation.
 
Episode Highlights:
The illusion of closure from others and the power of self-closure.
Practical advice on handling feelings of rejection and inadequacy.
Real-life examples demonstrating the importance of internal resolution.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00-01:00 - Introduction to the topic of closure and its personal significance.
01:00-05:00 - Discussion on common reasons relationships end unexpectedly and the natural quest for closure.
05:00-10:00 - Analysis of why waiting for closure from others can be detrimental and the importance of taking control of your own emotional responses.
10:00-15:00 - How self-awareness and acceptance play critical roles in personal healing and closure.
15:00-16:08 - Conclusion with encouragement for listeners to reflect on their own experiences and find personal closure.
Listener Takeaways:
Closure is something you can give yourself; it does not need to be granted by someone else.
Understanding your role in past relationships can help you move forward more effectively.
Embracing your personal truths and experiences can lead to significant emotional empowerment and freedom.

Episode #11: Your Questions, Answered!Welcome to another bonus episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast: "Your Questions, Answered!" Today, Hilary takes on questions submitted by listeners, tackling a wide range of personal and emotional queries. This episode not only answers listener-specific questions but also touches on universal themes that resonate with anyone looking to improve their emotional and psychological wellbeing through their relationship with SELF.
 
Episode Highlights
Hilary addresses complex personal questions on topics ranging from anxiety and intuition to managing insecurities and personal growth.
Listener interaction through questions that resonate with broad audience experiences.
Practical advice delivered with Hilary's characteristic empathy and insight, providing actionable steps and new perspectives on common struggles.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:01] Introduction: Hilary introduces the podcast and sets the stage for a session of listener-driven content.
[00:02:34] Community and Support: Discussion on the importance of community and shared experiences in personal growth and emotional health.
[00:14:34] Addressing Listener Questions: Hilary, along with her friend and creative director Jess, answers pre-selected questions from the audience, providing deep dives into each issue.
[00:47:25] Anxiety and Intuition: A nuanced exploration of how to distinguish between anxiety driven by intuition versus insecurity.
[01:10:18] Addressing Personal Challenges: Tips on managing personal struggles with ADD, slow processing, and self-image issues.
[01:34:45] Motivation and Self-Care: Advice on finding motivation for fitness and self-care, emphasizing the importance of self-priority.
Listener Takeaways
Empathy and Connection: Understand you're not alone in your struggles—common threads run through everyone's experiences.
Practical Strategies: Learn practical ways to manage anxiety, trust your intuition, and embrace your personal challenges.
Empowerment: Gain insights on how to empower yourself by prioritizing your needs and setting actionable goals.

Episode #10: Why We're All Lonely (and what we can do about it)
Introduction
In this thought-provoking episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast, Hilary takes on the epidemic of loneliness, which she calls "the other L word." Exploring the nuances between situational and existential loneliness, Hilary shares insights on how we contribute to our own feelings of isolation by not allowing true, authentic connections in our lives. She challenges listeners to reconsider how intimacy can be fostered not just with those close to us, but in everyday interactions with everyone.
 
Episode Highlights
Understanding Situational vs. Existential Loneliness: Hilary defines two types of loneliness and discusses their impacts.
The Role of Intimacy in Combating Loneliness: Insights into how genuine intimacy can combat feelings of loneliness.
Practical Steps to Overcome Loneliness: Hilary provides actionable advice on creating meaningful connections and overcoming barriers to intimacy.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:36-00:01:02] Introduction to the topic of loneliness, termed as "the other L word."
[00:01:42-00:02:19] Discussion on situational loneliness: circumstances where one may feel lonely due to changes in their social environment.
[00:03:04-00:04:02] Exploration of existential loneliness: feeling alone despite being in social settings or relationships.
[00:06:09-00:07:01] Real-life examples of how to solve existential loneliness through deeper connections.
[00:07:01-00:09:03] The challenges of making new friends as an adult and the deeper problem of existential loneliness.
[00:17:58-00:18:10] Closing thoughts: encouragement to face the internal fears that lead to loneliness.
Listener Takeaways
Recognize the Type of Loneliness: Identifying whether your loneliness is situational or existential can guide you in addressing it effectively.
Foster Intimacy Anywhere: Intimacy isn't just for close relationships; it can be cultivated in any interaction by being present and authentic.
Be Proactive in Connection: Taking active steps to engage in activities and communities that resonate with your interests can help alleviate situational loneliness.
Face Inner Barriers: Reflect on what holds you back from being open and honest in your interactions and challenge yourself to be more vulnerable.
Self-Reflection is Key: Often, the solution to loneliness starts with understanding and changing our own behaviors and attitudes towards relationships.
This episode is a powerful reminder that while loneliness is a common human experience, the power to change our circumstances always lies within our own actions and choices.

Episode #9: "How We're Inviting Others to Lie to Us (and what we need to change)" of The Hilary Silver Podcast
 
Introduction
In Episode #9 of The Hilary Silver Podcast, "How We're Inviting Others to Lie to Us (and what we need to change)," Hilary dives into the complexities of how our own actions and reactions can inadvertently invite dishonesty in our relationships. Building on the insights from the previous episode about trust and truth-telling, this episode shifts focus to self-reflection and understanding the role we play in fostering either truth or deceit from others.
 
Episode Highlights
Exploring the dynamic of how reactions to truth can deter honesty.
Practical tips on creating a safe environment that encourages open and honest communication.
Understanding the impact of one’s demeanor and reactions in conversations.
Insights into the internal and external consequences of inviting lies through our behaviors.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:00–00:05:00] Hilary introduces the topic by discussing how our emotional reactions to others' honesty can discourage them from being truthful with us. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in our responses to foster an environment conducive to honesty.
[00:05:01–00:10:00] The conversation shifts to how certain personality traits, such as strong emotional responses, can lead people to withhold the truth to avoid conflict or hurt feelings.
[00:10:01–00:15:00] Hilary provides strategies for encouraging truthful interactions, including "rolling out the red carpet for the truth," a metaphor for actively inviting honest feedback in personal and professional relationships.
[00:15:01–00:20:00] The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to reflect on their behaviors and make necessary adjustments to promote honesty in all relationships.
Listener Takeaways
Self-Reflection is Key: Understanding your own reactions and how they may affect others' willingness to be honest with you is crucial.
Foster Safe Environments: Actively work to create spaces where people feel safe to share their truths without fear of negative reactions.
Encourage Honesty: Implement strategies like inviting honest feedback and being open to it, regardless of its nature.
Personal Growth: Recognize and accept that fostering a truthful environment starts with you and requires ongoing effort and adaptability.
This episode encourages listeners to look inward and examine how their own behaviors might be contributing to a lack of honesty in their relationships and provides actionable advice on how to cultivate a more open and truthful interaction with others.

Episode #8: "What Happens When We're Untrustworthy (and how to stop betraying ourselves)" of The Hilary Silver Podcast:
 
Introduction
In this episode, Hilary dives into the intricate dynamics of trust within relationships, emphasizing the often overlooked ways we may inadvertently betray ourselves and others. She discusses the distinction between factual honesty and emotional truth, and how failing to express the latter can deteriorate trust and intimacy in relationships.
 
Episode Highlights
Understanding the foundational role of trust in relationships.
Identifying the subtle ways we break trust without realizing it.
The impact of not sharing our emotional truths.
Practical advice on how to be more honest and trustworthy in personal and professional relationships.
Episode Breakdown
[00:00:01] - Hilary opens the discussion on the importance of being honest in relationships.
[00:00:36] - Introduction to the topic of trust as the foundation of relationships.
[00:01:00] - Discussion on building and breaking trust.
[00:01:17] - Self-reflection on personal trustworthiness.
[00:01:47] - Encouragement to consider how trust applies in personal contexts.
[00:03:01] - Exploration of factual honesty vs. emotional truth.
[00:06:02] - How unshared truths sabotage relationships at work.
[00:10:31] - Real-life examples of how we lie to avoid discomfort or conflict.
[00:17:01] - A case study on a couple dealing with smoking and trust issues.
[00:20:55] - Closing remarks on the importance of honesty and how to improve communication in relationships.
Listener Takeaways
Recognize Trustworthy Actions: Be aware of the ways you might be breaking trust, even unintentionally, and take steps to become more trustworthy by aligning your words with your true feelings.
Value Emotional Honesty: Understand that sharing your emotional truth is just as important as factual truth for maintaining healthy relationships.
Communicate Clearly and Honestly: Encourage open and honest communication in your relationships to build deeper connections and trust.
Reflect on Personal Contributions: Regularly ask yourself how you are contributing to either the strength or weakness of your relationships through your level of honesty and integrity.
This episode encourages listeners to be more mindful of their interactions and the importance of honesty in fostering genuine connections and trust.

Episode 7: Why We Should All Quit Being Selfless (and how this benefits everyone)
 
Introduction
Hello, listeners! Welcome back to this week's episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast. In today's episode, titled "Why We Should All Quit Being Selfless (and how this benefits everyone)," we take on the notion of selflessness and its impact on our lives and those around us. We often hear that being selfless is virtuous, but could it be causing more harm than good? Let's explore how embracing a more self-centered approach can lead to healthier relationships and a happier, more authentic life.
 
Episode Highlights:
Understanding selflessness and its hidden costs.
The difference between being selfless and being centered in oneself.
Interviews and discussions with my Creative Director about real-life experiences and professional insights.
Practical advice on shifting from selflessness to being self-centered in a healthy way.
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00:00] - Introduction to the topic and its importance.
[00:01:15] - Hilary shares personal stories and insights on selflessness.
[00:15:00] - Discussion with guest Jess about societal expectations and personal experiences.
[00:30:00] - Practical tips on how to start prioritizing oneself.
[00:45:00] - Q&A session with listeners, addressing their struggles and questions.
 
Listener Takeaways:
Self-Centered is Not Wrong: Understanding that prioritizing yourself is not selfish but essential for your well-being and the well-being of others around you.
Reevaluate Personal Values: Encourages listeners to reconsider what they've been taught about selflessness and to understand the positive impacts of being more self-centered.
Practical Steps to Change: Offers actionable advice on how to shift from a selfless to a self-centered mindset without guilt.
Empowerment Through Self-Prioritization: Highlights how taking care of yourSELF without resorting to negative coping mechanisms or internalization (which leads to dis-ease) leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
 
Resources
YOU Really Are The Center of The Universe