Encouragementology Kendell Boysen

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are freshening our viewpoint as we work to transform problems into possibilities. Problems are like puzzles, tricky but solvable. They’re the hurdles that make life interesting! Possibilities, on the other hand, are the exciting paths that open up when we tackle these puzzles head-on. This show is about providing positive alternatives to some of life’s little challenges. Why stay stuck if you can take an alternate path? As I’ve said before, it’s all about perspective. Is the glass half-full or have you already enjoyed half of the concoction? Viewing a situation through the lens of possibilities can lead to a more positive and proactive approach to overcoming challenges and achieving success. So, let’s flip our thinking and turn problems into fun challenges. Who knows what awesome opportunities might be waiting on the other side?
I have a t-shirt that says “365 Possibilities”. I know, I know too early right? But why not approach each day by saying “What do you have in store for ME” vs “WHAT do you have in store for me”. Your internal inflection can completely alter the intent. I had an employer who gave me some seeds of wisdom early on, “Each day starts and ends with you.” That means you are in control. Doesn’t that statement in itself give you some motivational fuel? 
It’s easy to fall into the rut of being led around by circumstance and operating on autopilot but wake up and take back the controls. Whether you fly high or swoop in for a loop and a better look, you’re in the pilot seat. 
With navigation on your mind, let’s chart a course that has you identifying and taking advantage of all the possibilities along the way.
On the last show, I mentioned The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.  The book combines Zander's experience as the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra with Stone Zander's knowledge of psychology to offer practical tools and inspiring stories to help readers shift their perspective from scarcity to abundance. The book's 12 practices are designed to help you see new possibilities and bring them to life.
We’re going to explore these concepts and more!
At Vishnu’s Virtues, I found a breakdown of the 12 Lessons from The Art of Possibility
On the THNK School of Leadership’s YouTube channel, I found The Art of Possibility: Interview with Benjamin & Rosamund Zander
On LinkedIn, Hacking HR gives us 6 Ways to Lead (When You Are Not In Charge!)
Opening your mind to get a fresh viewpoint can be an invigorating process that leads to new ideas and personal growth. Here are some ways to do that:
Travel: Visiting new places exposes you to different cultures, lifestyles, and perspectives.
Read Widely: Books, articles, and blogs on various topics can introduce you to new ideas and ways of thinking.
Talk to Diverse People: Engaging with people from different backgrounds and experiences can broaden your understanding.
Practice Mindfulness: Meditation and mindfulness can help you see things more clearly and reduce mental clutter. Check out the Serenity App from Pau Bauer which helps you re-discover the "beacon of light" and stillness within you.
Try New Hobbies: Learning something new, whether it’s a language, instrument, or sport, can give you a fresh perspective.
Challenge Your Beliefs: Question your assumptions and try to see things from different angles.
Seek Feedback: Ask others for their opinions and be open to constructive criticism.
Attend Workshops and Seminars: These can provide new insights and skills.
Journal: Writing down your thoughts can help you process and see things in a new light.
Limit Media Consumption: Sometimes, taking a break from the news and social media can help clear your mind.
Practice Gratitude: Focusing on what you’re thankful for can shift your mindset to a more positive and open one.
Get Out in Nature: Spending time outdoors can refre

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are reducing stress by lightening up, not taking ourselves too seriously, and finding ways to laugh at life. Alarmed by your frown lines these days? Needing more reminders to relax your shoulders and breathe? Long for the days when your parents sent you to your room or the corner for a much-needed time-out. Life can be intense and our day-to-day schedules don’t seem to allow the room to relax and “laugh it off”. But laughter is like a magic potion for stress—just a good giggle can melt away tension and make you feel lighter. It’s your body’s way of giving you a happy boost, flooding you with feel-good vibes and boosting your immune system like a champ. 
Whether you find something naturally funny or you’re intentionally inducing a cackle or two, much is to be learned about the power of incorporating humor and laughter into your daily life and how this can lead to significant improvements in your physical, emotional, and social well-being, making it an essential tool for coping with stress and enhancing your quality of life.
Plus, sharing a laugh brings people closer, turning ordinary moments into joyous memories. So go ahead, laugh a little louder and a little more often—your mind and body will thank you!
Let’s start it out by attempting to answer the obvious question…what makes something funny?
Jinae West explores this on NPR’s All Things Considered. What Makes Something Funny?
Kaitlin Vogel gives us some strategies on How to Stop Taking Life Too Seriously found at Psych Central
At Fearless Culture, Gustavo Razzetti makes an insightful suggestion: Follow rule #6: don’t take yourself so damn seriously
Ever heard of LeAnne Morgan from Tennessee? Well, let me introduce you.
CHALLENGE: Embrace the power of laughter to reduce stress and boost your mood—let it be your daily dose of joy. Strengthen your connections by sharing laughs with others, creating happier and more resilient relationships. Make it a habit to find humor in life’s moments and watch as your overall well-being soars!
I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are tracing the healing journey of love, from connecting and loving deeply to embracing heartache and every stop in between. Building connections, even when you're worried about getting hurt, is vital because these bonds are the lifeblood of our emotional well-being. Yes, opening up can feel risky, but the rewards of genuine connection far outweigh the fear of heartache. It's through these connections that we find support, joy, and a sense of belonging. Love hurts but first, it heals. The capacity to love deeply is considered a natural, species-specific tendency. Loss is an integral part of growth, whether we're evolving our minds from one stage to the next or facing the final chapter of our physical life. Embracing loss allows us to learn, adapt, and gain deeper insights into ourselves and the world around us. It's through these challenging moments that we truly grow and find new strength.
Remember, every meaningful relationship starts with a bit of vulnerability. So, take that leap—embrace the possibility of connection, knowing that the love and support you gain will help heal any past wounds and enrich your life in beautiful, unexpected ways.
Change is never easy because with change comes loss. I could spin this in a self-help way, which you know I will, but first, let’s be honest. Letting go of people, opportunities, ideas, dreams, and expectations is never easy. When you make that shift and turn the corner you have to be ready to embrace change or you stay stuck. 
If you are letting go of a relationship you embrace the idea of staying single or putting yourself out there again. If you lose a job you’re faced with how to rectify what happened and where you go now. If you lose a loved one you are met with navigating grief while creating a new normal. 
Instead of getting bogged down in endless details, start by simplifying your choices into two clear paths. This approach helps you make quicker decisions and maintain momentum. It's not about rigid thinking, but rather about giving yourself a solid starting point to move forward more efficiently.
Bianca Sparacino introduces us to people who love deeply: Let Me Tell You About People Who Love Deeply found at Thought Catalog
At Ellie Mental Health I found How To Cope With Loneliness and Rejection in Relationships
At Live Outrageously, I found a question to contemplate:  Have You Outgrown Your Inner Circle of Friends?
Love’s Tender Evolution
We all know the journey of love's tender evolution,
From young and free, hearts open in boundless revolution.
We fall hard, then rise slowly, with wounds to bear,
Calloused, we build walls, breeding suspicion and despair.
 
We open up cautiously, our pace becomes slow,
Our minds awaken to heartache's burdens we now know.
We think our hearts are weak, so our minds grow strong,
But often they become jaded, overprotective, or wrong.
 
Distrusting both heart and mind, we retreat to our shell,
Building barricades, interrogating all who dare to dwell.
Loneliness ensues, yet we tiptoe back into the light,
Hoping for heart, mind, and soul to finally align right.
 
Praying for someone who'll respect and protect all three,
Swiftly, before the cycle starts again, we yearn to be free.
In this dance of love's evolution, we seek to find,
A partner who'll cherish the heart, soul, and mind.
 
CHALLENGE: Embrace the evolution of love by staying open to connection and growth, despite past heartaches. By trusting both your heart and mind, you pave the way for making connections with those who will cherish and protect your whole being.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are exploring the concept of mindset evolution as we ready ourslves to embrace continuous change. A shift in perspective and a commitment to positive thinking is not a one-and-done exercise but a progressive journey fraught with ups and downs. Oh to warn the former self about the perils that lie ahead. But what’s the fun in that? It is important to, formulate hypotheses, test theories, fall flat on your face, and get back up again. I pray that the scars are minimal as we figure out life at every turn. But if you stay stuck, you risk the inevitable pitfalls. 
Neglecting to evolve your mindset can hold you back from reaching your true potential because embracing change is key to unlocking new opportunities and personal growth. By staying open and adaptable, you prepare yourself to thrive in the face of new challenges and seize exciting possibilities. Harnessing a flexible mindset also enriches your relationships, fostering deeper connections and understanding with those around you. By embracing the journey of continual growth and transformation, you'll find resilience and fulfillment in every step forward.
Easy for me to say, huh? Yeah yeah, I took my share of bumps and bruises to get to this level of thinking. What level is that you may ask? The one where you admit you don’t have everything figured out and likely, never will. BUT, you are willing and open to forging forward, grasping at new ideas and strategies to propel your evolution. 
Soulaima Gourani shares The Art Of Continuous Growth - Reinvent Yourself And Kill Your Ego found at forbes.com
Enrique Rubio maps out The Evolving Mindset found on LinkedIn
Marie Forleo proposes that if you Change Limiting Beliefs You Change EVERYTHING, found on her YouTube Channel
At Walking Giants I found ​​Building a Path to Success: Harnessing the Power of Accountability for Personal Growth.
Our past is a rich tapestry that has shaped us into who we are today, offering lessons and insights that guide our path forward. It's important to honor all aspects of our past, both the joyful moments and the challenges, as they have contributed to our growth and resilience. To truly learn from our past, we must be willing to do the work - researching, exploring, and challenging our understanding. Seeking support from a mentor, an accountability partner, or a professional can provide valuable guidance and encouragement on this journey of self-discovery.
In the present moment, time is our most precious gift. Embracing the now means seizing the opportunities that are right in front of us. Instead of dwelling on past regrets or anxiously anticipating the future, focus on what you can do today to create a meaningful and fulfilling life. Use this time to nurture your passions, cultivate relationships, and pursue personal growth.
As we look towards the future, we are filled with excitement and possibility. Embracing a mindset of continuous evolution allows us to envision not just where we could be, but who we could become. Each day is an opportunity to take steps towards our dreams and goals, building on the foundation of our past experiences. Let go of fear and doubt, and step boldly into the future with confidence and optimism.
Remember, growth is a lifelong journey, and it's okay to seek help along the way. Connecting with others who support your growth can provide valuable perspective and encouragement. Surround yourself with people who believe in your potential and are committed to helping you succeed. Together, we can embrace the past, live fully in the present, and create a future filled with endless possibilities.
CHALLENGE: Embrace the exciting journey of personal growth by letting go of outdated ideas and welcoming new perspectives with open arms. Take proactive steps to expand your mind, cultivate curiosity, and surround yourself with a community that encourages constant evolution.

I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES: 
On this show…we are unmasking the truth, is it love or is it control; manipulation, or codependency? It is so easy to get them twisted because even if you feel with all your heart that it’s coming from a place of love, it can still be manipulating. Thoroughly confused? Well, try operating in that conundrum without the knowledge or the tools to see it for what it truly is. You might identify with being a helper, a fixer, always picking up the pieces, wanting everyone to feel comfortable, and trying to orchestrate the best outcome for all involved and you probably suffer from control issues.  
So let’s be intentional as we dive into this intricate dance between care and control. Before we start let’s make a commitment to be kind to ourselves in the process because our intentions stem from love and a desire to help, but sometimes, this can lead us down the path of overstepping boundaries and manipulation. It's a challenging journey to navigate, but understanding the fine line between genuine support and unhealthy codependency is crucial for fostering truly healthy relationships. 
As you know, I’m a codependent in recovery. I came to this realization later in life and have done a lot of work to understand, identify, and redirect this behavior yet still…I’m uncovering ways my manipulation can rear its ugly and intrusive head.
So, let's explore this together and uncover how we can nurture our connections with authenticity, respect, and true care.
At Helpguide.org, Sheldon Reid gives a breakdown of Codependency: Signs, Causes, and Help
On LinkedIn John Rampton shares The Art of Surrendering: Learning How to Let Go of Control
The difference between love and control in the context of codependency lies in the intent, dynamics, and outcomes of the relationship:
Intent:
Love: Genuine love is based on mutual respect, support, and the well-being of both individuals. It involves caring for someone without trying to change or control them.
Control: In codependent relationships, control often masquerades as care. The intent behind control is usually to manage or manipulate the other person's behavior to fulfill one's own emotional needs or to maintain a sense of order and security.
Dynamics:
Love: Healthy love promotes independence and personal growth. Each person in the relationship can express themselves freely and pursue their own interests and goals.
Control: Codependent dynamics involve one person becoming overly involved in the other's life, often at the expense of their own needs. This can result in one person feeling suffocated or dependent, while the other feels responsible for their happiness and well-being.
Outcomes:
Love: Relationships based on love encourage open communication, trust, and mutual respect. Both individuals feel valued and supported, leading to a balanced and fulfilling connection.
Control: Codependency often leads to resentment, frustration, and emotional exhaustion. The controlling behavior can stifle personal growth and create an unhealthy dependence, where both parties struggle to maintain their individuality.
In essence, love in healthy relationships empowers and uplifts, while control in codependent relationships restricts and manipulates. Recognizing these differences is key to fostering healthy, supportive connections.
CHALLENGE: True love empowers and liberates, fostering growth and mutual respect. Let go of the need to control, and instead, embrace the beauty of supporting each other's individuality. By setting healthy boundaries, we cultivate relationships that thrive on genuine care and authentic connection
I Know YOU Can Do It!

SHOW NOTES:
On this show…we are striving for a different vantage point as we rise above self-doubt, transforming shame into embracing confidence. According to a YouGov survey in 2018, about 50% of people reported experiencing self-doubt in their daily lives. That’s a whole lot of insecurity. Is that what you see plastered all over social media…vulnerability? Just another clue that what you see on the surface may not indicate what is really going on under the water. Add in that shame reinforces self-doubt and self-doubt increases shame and you have a tangled web to unwind. 
Self-doubt can create real challenges, both personally and professionally. It makes you doubt your abilities and holds you back from growing and achieving your full potential. At work, it stops you from taking on new projects or going for that promotion because you're convinced you're not good enough. This constant second-guessing can lead to major stress, anxiety, and even depression, making life a lot harder than it needs to be. It can also interrupt your relationships, as you struggle to trust others and communicate effectively. In the end, self-doubt becomes a vicious cycle that keeps you from living your best life.
I seek strength, not to be greater than others, but to fight my greatest enemy, the doubts within myself.
Can you pinpoint when self-doubt crept in and wrecked your confidence? Shame might be easier to identify since it’s typically linked to specific events that you regret but doubt can be a silent thief. Robbing you of possibilities and opportunities you didn’t have the confidence to go for.
Just like the settlers did when they claimed new territory, let’s put a flag in and start building a solid foundation of confidence as we eradicate shame and doubt! 
Let’s hear her Hack for Self-Doubt - Brene Brown
Dr. Jeremy Sutton gives us more on the Shame Resilience Theory: Advice From Brené Brown found at positivepsychology.com
Kendra Cherry sheds some more light on How to Forgive Yourself found at Very Well Mind
At the Triving Center of Psych, I found Understanding Impostor Syndrome: Breaking Free From Self-Doubt
Self-doubt often begins with a combination of internal and external factors. So here are some common sources - see if you’re holding on tightly to any of these:
Early Experiences: Negative experiences or criticisms during childhood, such as overly critical parents or teachers, can plant seeds of self-doubt.
Comparisons: Comparing oneself to others, especially in the age of social media, can lead to feelings of inadequacy and doubt about one's abilities or worth.
Perfectionism: Holding oneself to impossibly high standards and fearing failure can create a constant sense of not being good enough.
Failures and Setbacks: Experiencing failures or setbacks can undermine confidence, making one question their competence and abilities.
Negative Self-Talk: Internalizing negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself can perpetuate a cycle of doubt and low self-esteem.
Unrealistic Expectations: Setting unrealistic goals or expectations can lead to a sense of failure when they are not met, fostering self-doubt.
Lack of Support: Without a supportive network of friends, family, or mentors, individuals might struggle to maintain confidence in their abilities and decisions.
Trauma or Stress: Traumatic experiences or chronic stress can erode self-confidence and lead to persistent self-doubt.
CHALLENGE: Embrace your journey of self-discovery, for in overcoming self-doubt, you unlock the door to limitless potential. Let every stumble be a stepping stone, and every moment of doubt a reminder of your inner strength. Rise above shame because true empowerment is in believing in yourself, fiercely and unapologetically
 
I Know YOU Can Do It!