A Codependent Mind Brian and Stephanie

This season Brian will be reading aloud from the book we just published (link and description below). Chapter One frames codependency as learned, strategic, adaptive response to feelings of powerlessness, to emotional pain. It also covers the dynamics within Brian's family that gave rise to the codependent behaviors that would eventually cripple him emotionally and relationally for most of his life. 
Buy now in paperback or eBook form: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1/
Based on the acclaimed podcast of the same name, follow Brian's transformative journey from codependency and despair to joyful, fulfilling and sustaining relationships. Gain guidance into examining your own life and crafting a personalized pathway to heal from codependency and trauma.
In Part 1 of his journey, Brian explores:
The family dynamics in his childhood that set the stage for codependent habits.
The long term effects of trauma, including its complex and chronic manifestations.
Threat responses (particularly freeze and fawn) and the connection to the behaviors that make up codependency.
The role of shame and fear in deepening his codependent habits.
How his codependent behaviors fostered isolation and perpetuated dysfunctional relationship dynamics.
The toxic interplay between narcissism and codependency, and the trauma bonds that ensnared him in relationships with abusive narcissists.
In Part 2, the re-making of a codependent mind, Brian describes:
What is on the other side of codependency? Is it worth it?
Healing from his emotional wounds by connecting with other people, repairing his emotional system and re-writing the stories of his life.
How he finally broke the codependent habits that prevented him from having the emotionally intimate relationships that he always craved.
Acquiring a new approach to romantic relationships.
This book is a beacon of hope for those seeking liberation from codependency's grip, providing both insights and practical guidance for the journey toward authenticity and connection.

Get your copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
In this chapter, Brian discusses the connection between trauma and his codependent habits.  His experiences, including childhood dynamics and an early, abusive friendship are explored as sources of trauma, shaping his behaviors and triggering ingrained responses to threats - specifically freeze and fawn. 
Brian’s journey of navigating trauma extended beyond physical safety to encompass emotional survival strategies. Amidst consistent fear and shame at home and with his childhood friend, emotional avoidance developed as a coping mechanism. Through dissociation and compartmentalization, painful emotions were suppressed and buried, leading to a solitary and chaotic inner life.  While these strategies initially offered relief, they ultimately perpetuated Brian's emotional turmoil, as the unresolved emotional pain continued to escalate, fostering a cycle of isolation and dysfunctional relationships.
In this episode:
00:01:07 What is Trauma?00:03:13 New Layers of Trauma00:05:58 Threat Responses00:09:39 Emotional Trauma00:14:27 Emotional Avoidance
Contact us: https://www.codependentmind.com/

If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
In this chapter, Brian reflects on his struggles with codependency, which hindered his ability to form genuine connections with others. As a child, he learned to prioritize others' needs over his own, leading to a fragmented sense of self and difficulty understanding his emotions. As he navigated adolescence, he experienced sexual shame and a sense of unworthiness, further isolating him socially. He ended up passively accepting relationships with individuals who were also struggling emotionally, which often turned abusive.
A unique friendship with E, who shared similar struggles, provided safety but also enabled codependent behaviors. Reflecting on the friendship, the Brian acknowledges the complexity of their dynamic and the limitations of his codependent responses. Despite the challenges, the relationship taught him the value of intimate connections, planting a seed that would influence his understanding of healthy relationships in the future.
He then explores the many damaging relationships he has had with narcissistic individuals, highlighting the connection between codependency and narcissism, both stemming from trauma responses. While codependents seek safety by pleasing others, narcissists demand validation and entitlement. Narcissistic behaviors include grandiosity, entitlement, and lack of accountability. Brian's codependent tendencies made him susceptible to narcissists, excusing their abusive behavior. Different types of controlling behaviors are examined, with codependents managing emotions and narcissists asserting dominance aggressively.

If you are enjoying listening to the book, please leave a review on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?ie=UTF8&channel=glance-detail&asin=B0CYH7TMZ1
In this episode, Brian reads chapter 4, which details his back to back relationships with abusive narcissists. He describes the lovebombing that began both of those relationships, the trauma bonds that kept him stuck and the powerless way the relationships ended. Sex, power and shame were all at play, contributing to the dysfunction and despair he experienced during those two marriages. 
In this episode:
00:02:17 Relationship Beginnings - Love Bombing00:06:12 Abuse00:09:47 Trauma Bonds00:12:45 How Trauma Bonds Form00:16:16 Cognitive Dissonance -Self Gaslighting00:19:39 Shame and Fear00:21:43 Relationship Endings
Contact us: https://www.codependentmind.com/

The paperback and eBook version of the first two seasons of this podcast are now available on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYB1K31V
As a preview of Season 5, when we will be introducing more voices into the conversation, we have a guest on this episode. Jason reflects on his struggles with codependent behaviors and the origins of these behaviors in their family of origin. He discusses experiencing physical and emotional abuse from their father at a young age and feeling needy and demanding as a child. His mother's actions and comments also contributed to his negative self-talk and body image issues.
He goes on to share how he turned to overeating as a form of self-medication and how his mother's reactions to his weight gain exacerbated his feelings of inadequacy. He describes a pattern of settling in romantic relationships and feeling a need to please others.
He also discusses how he is working on setting boundaries and overcoming people-pleasing tendencies. He is working on resolving the shame and fear that has always been present in his romantic relationships and expresses hope for the future. 
00:02:00 Jason's understanding of codependency00:02:57 Origins of his codependent behaviors00:06:36 Body shame00:15:11 Early romantic relationships00:22:50 Current relationship status00:25:26 Struggle with people-pleasing00:30:50 Healing
Thank you for following or reviewing this podcast. It helps other people find the podcast. 
Instagram and Facebook: @codependentmind 
Email: codependentmind@gmail.com

The paperback and eBook version of the first two seasons of this podcast are now available on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYB1K31V
 



In this episode, we have a candid and open conversation Carly about her personal journey of overcoming codependency, people-pleasing, and addiction. She shares with us her childhood experiences growing up in a chaotic household with drug addiction and mental illness including turning to drugs and sex at a young age as a way to find acceptance, love and escape from emotional turmoil.
 














We also touch on her behavior in romantic relationships, including her tendency to leave partners after achieving their love and how she alternated between codependent and narcissistic behaviors. She describes the emotional exhaustion that came with trying to please others and the challenging process of breaking free from these patterns.
The conversation then turns to the toward's Carly recovery journey which included overcoming addiction and learning to love herself. She discusses how joining a church and a supportive community played a significant role in her healing process.
In terms of forming healthy relationships, Carly emphasizes the significance of her sobriety, authenticity, and self-love in building a strong and healthy relationship with her wife. Her partner encouraged her to be her true self, which was a pivotal moment in her journey towards self-acceptance.
Additionally, Carly reflects on her experience with 12-step programs like Narcotics Anonymous, which provided structure and support when she needed it most. However, she eventually outgrew these programs, realizing that they didn't have to define her identity forever, much like recovering from an injury doesn't require a crutch once healing is achieved.
00:02:08 Childhood trauma 00:07:00 Addictive behavior 00:12:40 Romantic relationships 00:20:00 Masking00:24:02 Healing journey00:41:13 12 step programs00:48:00 Forgiveness
If you are interested in coming on the podcast and sharing your story, please email us at codependentmind@gmail.com
Thank you for following or reviewing this podcast. It helps other people find the podcast. 
Instagram: @codependentmind