For Such a Time as This Mark and Katie

A Rule of Life is an “intentional conscious plan to keep God at the center of everything we do.” (Scazzero)  It is an important tool for growing in spiritual and emotional health.  The word "rule" comes from the greek word for trellis - the rule for your life is supposed to be something that supports you and helps you grow, not something constricting or defeating.  As such, it should be uniquely tailored to you.  We discuss what has worked and not worked for us for a rule of life in the past, and the four main pillars of a rule of life.  Pray about these pillars and how you can incorporate a rule in your life!

Pillars of a rule of life:

Prayer: Daily Office, Mass/Worship, Study, Silence...

Rest: Sabbath Rest, Play/Recreation...

Work/Activity: Ministries (unique to you!), physical exercise/taking care of the body...

Relationships: Emotional health, family, friendships...



Resources we mention:

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

Your Blue Flame by Jennifer Fulwiler



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"Love in practice is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams." (The Brothers Karamozov by Dostoevsky)

Learning to love well in an emotionally healthy way is a big part of becoming an emotionally healthy adult.  Many of us are stuck "emotionally."  We may be an emotional infant, child, adolescent, adult, or have qualities of each of these emotional maturity levels.   It's important to be aware of where we are now, so that we can do the work of growing emotionally as God desires us to.  We need to grow from seeing the world and relationships as I-It, (we are the center of the universe, seeing the other person as an object for our own purposes) to I-Thou (we are each sacred and of equal dignity, therefore we see the other person as a unique "I" and we connect with them across our differences while still remaining our own "I.")   We took the quiz (linked below!) and we discuss what it looks like to be where we are emotionally, and how we can try to grow into the emotional adults God created us to be.  A big part of this is how we deal with conflict. Are we false peacemakers or do we see true peace?  Scazzero gives us practical ways to grow emotionally and resolve conflict in an emotionally healthy way:

1) Communication - learning to speak and listen in an emotionally healthy way

2) Stop Mind Reading!! Being willing to speak how we are feeling vulnerably.

3) Bill of Rights - what are our rules for relationships, how we will be respected by and respect the other person

4) Clarify Expectations - make them conscious, realistic, spoken, and agreed upon

5) Allergies and Triggers - be aware of the way past hurts come into our current relationships and be willing to share and heal (see our Episode in Season 1 - How Triggers Lead to Healing)

Resources we mention:

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

How Emotionally Healthy are You? Assessment

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In this episode, we're talking about securing the rope that guides us through the blizzards of life with prayer and rest.  In our busy, hectic lives, it's hard to take a stop and take a breath.  What we've learned is that ultimately, it's about trust.  Do you trust God to take care of things long enough to take a break?  This goes for during our days, when we need to build in those times to come back to the spring of living waters, and during our week, when we need to follow the rhythm of work and rest that God designed us for by taking a Sabbath rest one day each week.  We talked about the components that Peter Scazzero thinks needs to be included in the "Daily Office," the times to stop and pray during the day, and the components of Sabbath Rest. 

Four Elements for the Daily Office:

1. Stopping 

2. Centering (Calling to mind the presence of God.)

3. Silence

4. Scripture

Four Principles of Biblical Sabbath:

1. Stop

2. Rest

3. Delight

4. Contemplate

Discussion Questions:

1. What is your anchor?  Are you putting your trust in a false, moving anchor, or do you have firm anchors in place?  

2. How can you incorporate prayer into your day, keeping in mind the four elements?

3. Is there room in your life for Sabbath Rest?  What activities that are not life-giving could you let go of to make more room?  

4. What needs to change to make your Sabbath more restful and life-giving?  Is it a "day of preparation for the Sabbath?"  Or saying no to certain activities?  

Resources we mention:

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

Thank you for your reviews and ratings!  Email us at ForSuchATimeAsThisPodcast@gmail.com

We all face limits and loss that we need to grieve.  Part of growing into an emotional adult is learning to grieve biblically and embrace our limits.  Unfortunately, many of us were not given a good example of how to grieve as we grew up.  We use defensive maneuvers to try to escape the pain, such as denial, minimizing, blaming others, blaming ourselves, rationalizing, intellectualizing, distracting, and becoming hostile.   Thankfully, the Bible gives us an example in grieving in the book of Job.  

The five phases of biblical grieving are:

1. Pay Attention

2. Wait in the confusing in-between

3. Embrace the gift of limits

4. Climb the ladder of humility

5. Let the Old birth the New, in God's time.

Resources we mention:

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Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

In this episode, we continue our conversation on emotionally healthy spirituality with a very important topic: The Wall.  The wall is the emotional and spiritual block we all face.  It can be a time of doubt, dryness, or sadness.  It has been called desolation by St. Ignatius and the dark night of the soul by St. John of the Cross.   What's important to remember about the wall is that it is something we will all go through, as it is necessary for us to grow in our relationship with God and in our discipleship.   We can't control it, we can't pray our way out of it.  We must persevere in our faith, seeking to learn what God is trying to teach us, and let Him take us through it.  We trust that He will bring us through to the other side.  Do not be discouraged when you go through walls of your own.  It simply means that the Lord wants to grow in greater friendship with you - He is the potter, molding the hard clay of your heart to make it soft and pliable.  It can hurt, but He is always with you and always knows what is best for you.

Reflection Questions:

1.  Where do you feel like you are on the stages of faith?  (1:Life-changing awareness of God, 2:Discipleship/learning, 3:Active life, 4:Journey Inward, 5:Journey Outward, 6:Transformed in Love)

2.  Can you identify any "walls" that you have gone through in your life?  How did God bring you through them?  What did you learn from them?

3.  How can you prepare for future walls?  (Such as journaling about past consolations, developing a good prayer routine/foundation, etc)

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Resources we mention: 

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

Another in the Fire by Hillsong United

We are taking a break from our series on Emotionally Healthy Spirituality for Christmas preparations. Instead, we invite you to pray with the Christmas story, Luke 2:1-20. May the light of Christ shine fully in your hearts and may the peace and joy of Christmas transform you! God bless and Merry Christmas.