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Join us for fun and substantive discussions on how to make human relationships awesome in the 21st century. Now with 30% more wisecracks and tangents! If you've got a brain AND a heart, you're going to like this.

Relawesomeships Bryce and Paul

    • Relaties

Join us for fun and substantive discussions on how to make human relationships awesome in the 21st century. Now with 30% more wisecracks and tangents! If you've got a brain AND a heart, you're going to like this.

    What Jordan Peterson and lobsters teach about success, defeat, and relationships

    What Jordan Peterson and lobsters teach about success, defeat, and relationships

    Rising from the ashes, Paul and Bryce are back! We talk briefly about Bryce's forearms, then delve into a lively discussion about Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life, particularly his first chapter on lobsters, success/defeat, serotonin, depression, and what we can do to stand up straight and confidently face and improve our circumstances.

    • 1 u.
    #25 - The Other Cold War: Getting your Crap Together, so you can Love and be Loved

    #25 - The Other Cold War: Getting your Crap Together, so you can Love and be Loved

    Special guest Shayla joins us again to discuss how our own crap gets in the way of loving and being loved, and what we can do about it (emphasis on the do!). First, we again imagine what it's like to have the burden of being highly attractive people (and why their dating app profiles are so boring), Shayla confirms that women do, in fact, care a lot about men's physical attractiveness (but it carries relatively less weight overall than it does for men), and Bryce takes responsibility for his past poor dress and grooming (sorry, ladies! I look much better now :-D )
    After that, we dive into the topic of how our internal obstacles, wounds, and general shortcomings play a significant role in our ability, or inability, to love others and be loved by them. We emphasize how real progress cannot be achieved without first taking responsibility for our entire role (the good as well as the bad) in our relationships and circumstances, and then honestly evaluating and doing something disciplined and productive to improve. We discuss how even people without severely traumatic experiences nevertheless have psychic wounds and emotional clutter which hinder our relationships (but can be healed and de-cluttered). Paul expresses the importance of being kinder to ourselves.
    We also draw from the insights of Katherine Woodward Thomas in her book, Calling in the One, who describes the "solid sense of self" that prepares us to have healthy relationships, and our capacity (and responsibility) to craft and adjust our own mental constructs about our identities. Additionally, we discuss the practical advice offered in Jordan Peterson's video, Fix Yourself, related to having an honest dialogue with ourselves about our role - and positive potential! - in our circumstances.

    • 54 min.
    #24 - Initiating in Dating (and in friendships)

    #24 - Initiating in Dating (and in friendships)

    Special guests Amber and Jessica join us for a jolly conversation about initiating in friendship and in dating. We learn a little bit about the Kardashian family, Jessica's favorite color (leopard print), the fundamentals of being engaging and inviting with pre-friends, the tragedy of mutual interest without initiative, and cultural norms about initiation (the US is more gender-egalitarian about initiation). We discuss research findings on the types of methods of initiation: not surprisingly, direct initiation is most effective, while waiting passively is least effective; men and women can be equally successful at initiating, but men generally prefer direct methods, while women generally favor indirect methods; teasing and joking tend to only lead to short-term flings; having resources comes across as attractive, while flaunting them can be a turn-off; being passive mostly only works for those who are "extremely attractive" (a trait that comes with big advantages AND big disadvantages). That and so much more!

    • 1 u. 3 min.
    #23 - The Two Human Languages: Logic and Feeling (or, how to not sabotage your communications with others)

    #23 - The Two Human Languages: Logic and Feeling (or, how to not sabotage your communications with others)

    We discuss a critical topic in human relationships: the two fundamental languages of logic and emotion, and how to speak the correct language at the right time. This time, we draw from Stephen Covey's excellent The Spiritual Roots of Human Relations as we delve into the intricacies of effective and ineffective human communication, how not to escalate conflicts with our communication, and especially how to recognize and empathize with the current emotional (or non-emotional) state of others. 

    • 56 min.
    #22 - Risks, Regrets, and Rewards: how to ensure your life and relationships are awesome instead of lame

    #22 - Risks, Regrets, and Rewards: how to ensure your life and relationships are awesome instead of lame

    We get fired up as we cover a lot of ground regarding the role of risk, regret, and reward in personal growth and especially our relationships. But first, Bryce talks about women at the gym, Paul talks about law firm mascots, and we both talk about our friend whose mistake of going to law school was the most freeing bad decision of his life. We talk about humankind's high sensitivity to loss (more sensitive than to gains, even), and bias towards risk aversion, as well as the critical importance of taking informed, courageous Risks to pursue greater Rewards and avoid Regrets.

    • 54 min.
    #21 - Siblings: The Cause of, and Solution to, our Conflicts

    #21 - Siblings: The Cause of, and Solution to, our Conflicts

    This time, we take a break from talking about the Other Cold War to explore the influence of siblings - for good or for ill - on us as children and even as adults. Paul and Bryce discuss an argument they had prior to recording, and how, according to research, their sibling-filled upbringings may have helped them manage the conflict effectively. We talk about family micro-cultures, how younger siblings will model their behaviors on older siblings (for better or for worse), how having older siblings can grant certain relational advantages, and the lasting effects of family dynamics on each of us far into adulthood. If you grew up with siblings, you probably got a lot of practice managing (or, so often, failing to manage) conflict; if you had no siblings, you probably got more opportunity to develop your language and current events abilities. 

    • 51 min.

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