Rhyme and Reason Tony Funderburk

He’s talked with dead people, personally. He’s talked about dead people as though they were still alive. And he consistently serves up word hash like it’s going out of style or something. You know him. You loathe him. Of course I’m talking about little Joey Biden. Mrs. Biden’s pride and joy.

Mm, mm. Nothin’ like a bowl of homemade word hash.

You no doubt have seen commentaries, of one sort or another, about Joe Biden’s brain fog. His brain fog reminds me of the Peanuts comic strip character, Pig-pen. Because wherever Pig-pen went, his little dirt cloud went with him. Just like JB’s brain fog.

Someone shared, yet again, a “greatest hits” compilation of Joe’s “gaffes” on social media. And as I laughed (even though on a certain level it’s NOT funny), I remembered a word hash I created a couple of years ago. Except my hash only sounds like hash. The words are actually real. Not that blurred, slurred slop that slips out from behind the executive teleprompter.

If you know a kid who enjoys looking up words for their definitions, they should get a real kick out of this remix of words. Every other line ends with a word that rhymes with…

Oosh

The light revealed the interstice,

Through which he would debouch.

This slender, blue homunculus,

Who wore a red tarboosh,

Was undeniably annoyed

As he tied his babouche

And straightened up his sweater

Made of ibex shahtoosh.

He blinked three times and ran to catch

A burgundy barouche.

And once inside he opened up

His journal and cartouche

To write a sonnet of his love

For Rosalinda Ruesch

And her delectable dessert

Of citrus croquembouche.

And now you have enjoyed one tale

Of Lazlo Link Latouche.

© 2022

There’s a lot more fun, goofy stuff kids seem to get a big kick out of in the Kiddin’ Around coloring and drawing songbook. From a green monkey to purple poodles to who knows where, it’s kid friendly through and through. Here’s the link to get a copy for your favorite kid today. And, the big PLUS is that there’s a secret link in the book where all the songs can be downloaded for free.

https://www.amazon.com/Kiddin-Around-Tony-Funderburk/dp/B08BV18T5J

Stay tuned,

There’s always tomorrow. Which is weird. Because tomorrow never comes. In the big picture, those two sentences aren’t mutually exclusive. So, “ride the wind” when it’s windy. Drink up when it rains. Sunbathe when others complain of the heat. Your days here on earth are very, very short. Don’t take yourself so seriously that you can’t sieze the moment with the enthusiasm of kids.

Kids don’t know that tomorrow never comes.

So, kids know how to laugh at things no one else can even see. They know how to be goofy and not care that mud got on the knees of their pants. And kids know how to love uncontrollably, hug unabashedly, and give undeniably.

If you’re not a kid, you were once one. So, if you concentrate and think back, you might remember what it was like to anticipate the newness of the next day. And the next. And the days after that. Especially when you knew your imagination could turn you into anything and take you anywhere.

THAT…is freedom.

Yesterday, in large sections of the middle of America, there were warnings of severe weather. And the messages included tornado warnings and watches. We saw messages on the electronic highway signs. And on the TV news. And in the weather apps on our phones.

As you might have seen, this past week, the town of Sulphur, Oklahoma was demolished by a tornado. And that’s a town I have a lot connection with. Because my Dad used to take us to that area to visit grandparents. We used to camp out nearby. And a couple of times we stopped by there, either on our way to have a blast at Turner Falls or on our way back home.

Anyway…

I only brought this up because of how out-of-control winds can sometimes make sure tomorrow never comes for some people. Tornadoes are kind of like rattlesnakes. Both can strike fast and be deadly. But neither one can erase the future. Nothing can.

So, while you prepare your food and water and supplies for natural disasters, be sure you’re also prepared for the supernatural. If not, a tornado could spin you down to a mighty awful place. A place even kids’ imaginations don’t want to conjure up.

Avoid that at all cost. Fortunately the total cost, to avoid it, has already been paid. So, you can put your trust in Jesus. And when you do, a tornado would just be a whirling vehicle. And you could…

Ride The Wind

Monday morning put your wings on tight.

Wouldn’t wanna lose ’em in the middle of a flight.

Don’t forget wings for your one best friend…

Need a navigator, when you’re gonna ride the wind.

Check the weather. Is the blue sky blue?

Just a little lightning is enough to throttle you.

Wear your goggles, and I recommend

You take along some gloves when you’re gonna ride the wind.

Nothing better than to fly up high

Soaring with the eagles is like dancing in the sky.

Don’t you worry when it has to end.

There’s always tomorrow when you’re gonna ride the wind.

© 2013

Stay tuned,



Make me send you some complimentary fun stuff. Jump on the Rhyme and Reason Bandwagon

I saw a silly question this morning. And I’m sure you’ve seen one like it at least once or twice. It said, “‘Mass Extinction: What Happened 65 Million Years Ago?” Of course, the correct answer is “Nothing.”

Well, another correct answer would be, “Ask God. He was the only one around.”

But nothing on Earth happened 65 million years ago. Because Earth didn’t exist then. And the evidence is overwhelming to anyone who is willing to look at it with humility.

Take, for example, the Ford Galaxy. I still remember my mom and step-dad buying a brand new ’64 Ford Galaxy station wagon. Bright red. And a real nice ride for a family.

Wait! I meant to talk about actual galaxies. Not a car. Yeesh. So weird how the fingers start typing out a story when the brain is thinking of another one.

Anyway…

Ain’t it cool how “galaxies frequently appear connected or aligned with other galaxies or quasars that have vastly different redshifts?” Yeah, many is the time my friends and I have sat around the campfire and sung songs about that. I mean, it’s just so cool. And according to Dr. Walt Brown, a PhD from M.I.T. those kinds of connections happen “too often for all examples to be coincidences.”

Dr. Brown also added that, “If redshifts imply velocities (which is most likely), these galaxies and quasars have not been moving apart for very long. If redshifts do not always imply velocities, many astronomical conclusions are in error.”

That sounds like a guy who knows the correct answer.

And I mean the correct answer for the age of the universe and our beautiful, blue planet. Yeah, Dr. Brown has shared tons of evidence for a young Earth and universe. But…

What does this all mean?

And why should we care?

That we didn’t come from slime!

And there’s a God out there!

(from my song, “Fast Forward”)

The age of the Earth matters. Because the whole millions or billions of years ideology is responsible for hopelessness and horror. It’s a worldview whose believers want you to believe you’re a result of random mutations. And that you’ll eventually expire and crash into eternal nothingness.

But a young Earth worldview gives you the correct answer. That a loving Creator who made you in His image and likeness. And that’s an ideology based on the actual evidence. Plus, it’s filled with hope of eternal life in paradise. Give me what’s behind that door any day of the week.

And you should Jump on the Rhyme and Reason Bandwagon and get what’s behind my email door.

(Hint: it’s good stuff for Fa-Ree)

Stay tuned,

He built a small log cabin on the bank of a small creek, in Kansas, in the early 1830s. Then, the U.S. government built some other lodges in the area. And one of those lodges was for Tonganoxie.

But who in the world was Tonganoxie? And why does it matter?

Well, I’ll answer both those questions. But you should know ahead of time that you might not be satisfied with my answers. If you’re OK with that, read on.

Tonganoxie was an Indian (not the kind from India) from the Delaware tribe. His real name was more like Tonqua-Oxie. But you know how white folks are. They just can’t leave out their privilege and supremacy. So, Tonqua-Oxie transformed into Tonganoxie. And I gotta say, that rolls off the tongue much more easily.

Anyway…

Tonga man was a member of the Turkey Clan. And from what I’ve learned about him, he seemed to be a pretty good guy. He lived at that lodge the U.S. government built. And he operated it as a stage stop and inn. Evidently U.S. Mail arrived and passed through the lodge. And apparently he was given the title of first Postmaster.

Mr. Noxie was also married. And he and his wife had his sister and his sister’s children live with them.

I read a short account of how Tonganoxie was known as a peaceful and kind man. The story goes that he “sheltered JWH Golden, who with two friends was chased from Leavenworth by Border Ruffians. All three were shot less than a half-mile north of Tonganoxie’s lodge. One died and two played dead long enough for the Ruffians to leave. Mr. Golden lived for several years and told how he was aided by Tonganoxie.

And Tonganoxie left that area in 1863.

According to the short article I read, he went to live with a nephew (on allotted land) in the Bonner Springs area. And the area Tonganoxie left was named after him. And, later, Tonganoxie died in southern Kansas while traveling to Oklahoma.

OK, there’s the answer to who in the world he was. Now, as to why it matters.

Well, you might’ve heard that Kansas is one of those states with more than its fair share of tornadoes. But you might not have heard of the “Tonganoxie Split.” It’s supposedly “a phenomenon where storms and tornadoes coming across Kansas split north and south or dissipate as they reach Tonganoxie.” And that tends to ensure that the Kansas City area is saved from the worst effects of that extreme weather.

Now, would you believe that National Weather Service meteorologists don’t believe the Tonganoxie Split is a real thing? I know. It’s crazy to think. But at least a couple of them don’t. In fact, one of them was quoted as saying, “It’s not been seen scientifically to have any real impact, and there are storms that go over there all the time.”

And the other one explained that people believe cities are less likely to be hit by tornadoes. But he said this is “because cities just take up less land than rural areas.” Yeah, again, more crazy talk. So, I guess when it comes down to it, you just have to pick what you’re gonna believe. So-called “urban legends and myths?” Or so-called “science?”

And sometimes towns and people just get caught in the middle.

A Lot In Store

When you’re really in the middle

And you’re feeling like a riddle,

And you start to get a little bit down…

Take your eyes off all your troubles.

Let ’em float away like bubbles.

When they pop, then I bet you can’t frown.

When you think your life is rotten…

All the good things have been gotten,

And the world’s takin’ more than it gives…

Start to laugh and start to winkin’.

You can stop that stinkin’ thinkin’.

That’s the way that a happy kid lives.

Yeah, your face might get all flappy

When I was a kid, I’d almost always be the first one to get up. And I’d sneak into the kitchen and pour myself a bowl of cereal. Not every day was a cereal day. Because moms knew growing kids need a variety of nutrients. But a bowl (or two) of that tasty goodness could take you all the way to lunch. Of course, that was back before cereal (and just about all other food) was so manipulated with additives and preservatives. But that’s a whole ‘nother rabbit hole.

Anyway…

Even as a kid I’d savor my cereal day alone time.

And there only the sound of my own crunching on Cheerios, or corn flakes, or whatever was available. And I’d stare out the window. Because I loved to watch the birds and squirrels as they gathered up and ate their food. There was so much hustle and bustle right out in the front yard. But it was also so peaceful and quiet.

Back then, kids weren’t allowed to have coffee. At least not in our household. But  I didn’t mind. Because that “grownup” beverage tasted awful to me. And I never needed that caffeine boost to wake up.

These days the first thing I do, in the morning, is get a drink of water from my ProPur (now Pro One) gravity filter. Then, I pour some more of that wonderful water (with fluoride filtered out and minerals left in) for my coffee. And I enjoy the aroma as the brewing begins. That first cup, with a bit of honey and cream or butter, wakes up the first layer of brain cells where my imagination lives. And as those cells roam around freely inside my head, groups of words start to form.

And on a Saturday morning, 11 years ago, this group of words formed.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Saturday morning breakfast cereal

Floating in a big, blue bowl…

Oaty oat circles spinning in spoonfuls

Milk dripping out of control.

Saturday morning sunshine prisms

Sparkle on a glass of juice,

Bouncing like BB’s clicking on concrete

Luminous lights let loose.

Saturday morning cartoon silliness

Playing on the TV screen…

Bozos and birdbrains, rockets and robots

Every week the same routine.

Saturday morning breakfast cereal

Wakin’ up a sleepyhead…

Saturday morning breakfast cereal

The reason to get out of bed.

© 2013

And that’s just one of about 110 pages of rhymes and drawings you’ll find in my book:  “Ginormous Humongous Tremendous Book of Poems and Short Bedtime Stories For Kids“

But I have to warn you, it might be the most expensive coloring and drawing book of poems and short stories you’ve ever seen. Because there’s more delight packed into this one book than you’re likely to see in another book anywhere. Well, at least until my next one comes out. Anyway…here’s your link, if you dare…

(https://www.amazon.com/Ginormous-Humongous-Tremendous-Bedtime-Stories/dp/1661314422)

Stay tuned,

Most of us humans go on our merry way, every day. And most of us never give a second thought to what happens next. But I don’t mean in the next minute or hour. And not even the next day, week, or month.

Nope. Think much further ahead.

We’re on our merry way to somewhere else after this life.

So, get out the roadmap, plot out a destination, and work out how you’ll get there. Thankfully you have access to incredible devices and apps to almost hold your hand and get you there safely. Except for that small three-word phrase at the end of the previous subhead. “After this life.”

No paper or digital roadmap or device or app can help you reach that destination. Well, I guess, in a way, your devices and other distractions can be part of the reason you don’t enjoy the stop at the end of your journey. But where you end up, after your body expires, is based on a couple of questions you could ask yourself.

Is everything there is, in this universe, everything there is?

And…

Do I know all there is to know about everything there is?

Those are important questions because they can help you take the focus off you and put it on origin options. And those are crucial to consider because, according to a lot of documented, reliable data, Heaven and hell appear to be real.

Now, I know, with all the so-called “AI-assisted graphics” and so-called “deep fake” media, it might be tempting to believe you can never truly know what’s real anymore. But I urge you not to give in to that temptation. Because the aforementioned documented, reliable data has been tested for thousands of years. And it holds up under strict scrutiny.

So, I’ll just leave you with those couple of questions to ponder. And you can decide whether or not to ask and answer them. Because, after all, you ARE a person with your own will. Every one of us is as we go on…

Our Merry Way

I want you to come with me

Down in the deep, blue sea

Where a sea horse grins and spins its fins

And says we can swim for free.

We won’t have to stop for air

The whole time we’re under there.

We can breathe like fish if we make a wish.

It’s a make-believe we’ll share.

So tell me, what do you say?

Would you like to go today?

We can tell our tales, how we swam with whales

And then we went our merry way.

© 2017

For some goodies that aren’t a figment of your imagination, Jump on the Rhyme and Reason Bandwagon today.

Stay tuned,