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12-step recovery for those of us who love alcoholics or addicts. We share our experience, strength, and hope as we use the principles of the Al-Anon program in our lives. We talk openly and honestly about the problems and challenges as we face alcoholism and addiction in our friends and relatives. We share the tools and solutions we have found that let us live a life that is serene, happy, and free, even when the alcoholic or addict is still drinking or using.

The Recovery Show » Finding serenity through 12 step recovery in Al-Anon – a podcast The Recovery Show

    • Gezondheid en fitness

12-step recovery for those of us who love alcoholics or addicts. We share our experience, strength, and hope as we use the principles of the Al-Anon program in our lives. We talk openly and honestly about the problems and challenges as we face alcoholism and addiction in our friends and relatives. We share the tools and solutions we have found that let us live a life that is serene, happy, and free, even when the alcoholic or addict is still drinking or using.

    Gentleness with Myself – 370

    Gentleness with Myself – 370

    BHow have you treated yourself meanly or roughly? How have you learned to be gentle with yourself?







    Anna joins Spencer to talk about why being gentle with herself is so important in her recovery, and how an experience at Christmas revealed this to her and produced a spiritual awakening.







    Our conversation is guided by these concepts.







    * how I learned to love myself through the fellowship (“my fellows loved me until I could love myself”)* how I use the St. Francis Prayer as a tool for gentleness with myself* this topic is also touching base with the idea of “self parenting” for me* how “gentleness with myself” is really my step zero. (every other step works so much better if I go to step zero first!)















    Readings and Links







    Anna read from the Just for Tonight bookmark.







    She also recited the “Saint Francis Prayer”, which is included on the Just for Today bookmark.







    Feedback







    Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.















    Music from the Show











    Alanis Morissette – Everything











    Servant of Peace · Snatam Kaur











    The Mamas – Touch the sky

    • 1 u. 32 min.
    Healing through Writing – 369

    Healing through Writing – 369

    Lisa grew up in alcoholism, addiction and abuse. She is finding healing through writing a novel.







    Content warning: Lisa talks about some of the abuse she survived as a child.







    Here are some of the questions that guided our conversation.







    * Please tell us your story.* What inspired you to write?* How are your experiences reflected in your protagonist?* What did you learn about yourself while writing it?* How has writing helped you to heal?* What is your wish for someone reading your book?







    For that last question, Lisa has different goals for 3 different groups of readers. She says,







    From How Al-Anon Works an excerpt from Chapter 28 about perfectionismFor those in recovery, I hope it’s a story they could relate to.For those who don’t realize they are living in an emotionally abusive home at the hand of alcoholism, maybe some of Carla’s experience will resonate with them and that this behavior is damaging and not okay and perhaps they will reach out to Ala-Teen or Al-anon to learn they didn’t cause, can’t cure, and can’t control, which is fancy recovery talk for, it’s not your fault!And finally, for those not in recovery, to understand that an alcoholic doesn’t have to be a slurring derelict on the street or Miss Hanigan in Annie. Alcoholism is a sneaky and progressive family disease that affects every person in the house















    Readings and Links







    Lisa read from How Al-Anon Works an excerpt from Chapter 28 about perfectionism.







    Lisa's book Slanted and Disenchanted is available from many places including Amazon. (I do receive a small commission if you purchase through Amazon.)







    Talk to us







    Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.















    Music from the Show











    The Killers – All These Things That I've Done











    Modest Mouse – Float On











    Sufjan Stevens – (This is) The Thing







    And a bonus: the song that introduced Lisa to punk.











    Bikini Kill – Feels Blind

    • 1 u. 38 min.
    A Disease of Relationships – 368

    A Disease of Relationships – 368

    We say that alcoholism is a disease of relationships. What do we mean by this? How are our relationships damaged and how can we recover from that damage?







    Spencer and Megan used these questions to guide our conversation.







    * How has alcoholism affected your self-esteem? What were the results?* Share your experience of forming and sustaining close relationships before and during time in the program.* What about relationships we didn’t choose: family of origin/children. * How have those relationships evolved?* Relationships we did choose: dating, friends, jobs?* How have you Isolated?* How have you chosen healthier relationships using Al-Anon tools?* What did/does becoming responsible for yourself look like?















    Readings and Links







    We read from Paths to Recovery, pp 8-9 and The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage pg. 65.







    Becky told us about her son's blog/podcast Sober Steve Recovery.







    Ashley recommended a meditation by Sarah Blondin called Your Seed of Softness. She also told us that this meditation and others are available in the Insight Timer meditation app.







    Nancy asked about the “Letter from God” that she heard about in an earlier episode. This is available on the Al-Anon blog.







    Upcoming topics







    A couple of upcoming topics: being gentle with yourself; and using recovery tools as a teacher.







    Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.















    Music from the Show











    First Aid Kit – My Silver Lining











    You'll Never Walk Alone











    Richard Thompson – Beeswing

    • 1 u. 41 min.
    The Gift of Pain – 367

    The Gift of Pain – 367

    How is it possible for our pain to become our gain? Andrea’s story illuminates this transformation.







    Andrea from Adult Child Podcast joins us to talk about how her greatest pain became her greatest gain.







    When Andrea was several years sober, she realized that recovery had not magically fixed all her problems. She tells us about “the two Brians” — “Two guys that I dated named Brian that were the catalyst to my adult child healing journey. I dated Brian number one at seven years sober. And it was through that relationship that I realized that my dating issues were related to my childhood.”







    Only a few weeks later, a woman at a 12-step meeting shared a similar experience and mentioned the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families book. Andrea went home, downloaded it, and devoured it. She says, “I related to it even more than I did in any other recovery literature that I'd ever read. It was like, I was finally reading, all of my thoughts and feelings … written down on paper.” The next time she saw the woman, she went up to her, “and I say that how her share head impacted me and how I had downloaded that book that she had mentioned that I had read it. And I told her a little bit about Brian number one, and these a hot moments that I had had, and she looks at me and she goes, that's wonderful, but I want to let you know that this is going to take years for you to work through. … And I remember looking at her and thinking, years? Years!?”







    So she starts working in ACA, and then “Brian number two comes along … what I will tell you is that I hadn't changed a damn bit and the next six months of my life were the most painful times of my life. … I realized that, what I was dealing with was a lot more powerful than what I had assumed and that that lady had been right. That I did have to treat this just as seriously as my alcoholism. That's what I did.”







    What is the rest of the story? How did all this pain become her greatest gain? And why did she decide to make a podcast about the Adult Child experience? Listen for all the details.















    Readings and Links







    There were several books and other resources that were mentioned and read from in this episode. I captured a few of them, below.







    First, I have to link to Andrea's podcast Adult Child, where you can hear the full story of the 2 Brians in Episode 1.







    The opening reading is from Your Divine Lens: The Secret to Finding Purpose, Healing Grief and Living in Alignment with your Soul (pp. 119-120). Sue Frederick.







    Andrea also read from Emotional Sobriety: from relationship trauma to resilience and Balance by Tian Dayton (and enthusiastically recommended anything by this author.)







    She suggests that anyone who might possibly think they qualify for ACA read The Laundry List.







    Upcoming topics







    An upcoming topic is about recovery through writing. Do you use writing as a recovery tool? How does it enhance your program? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.















    Music from the Show

    • 1 u. 25 min.
    Honesty – 366

    Honesty – 366

    What does a lack of honesty with ourselves and others look like? What does the program teach us about the importance of honesty to our recovery?







    Ester and Spencer share their experience, strength, and hope on the topic of honesty, roughly following this outline.







    * Honesty before recovery – or was there?* How were we dishonest with ourselves and others?* What did we learn from our family of origin?* Honesty in recovery?* How was it modeled in meetings?* Learning to be honest with ourselves through sponsorship and the steps.* Still learning and growing.* The slippery slope of lying by omission.* How to be honest without breaking another's anonymity?















    Readings and Links







    Ester read from Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships, pp. 47 and 49.







    Spencer mentioned the Step 4 chapter in Paths to Recovery, where it talks about why we write out our fourth step inventory. He also referred to the reading on Tradition 8 in the same book.







    Richard recommended a reading from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, August 15, about frustration.







    Upcoming topics







    An upcoming topic is titled “the disease of relationships”. Megan wrote “One of my favorite pages out of our CAL talks about alcoholism is a disease of relationships.” How has this disease shown up in your relationships?







    Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.















    Music from the Show











    Aretha Franklin – Honest I Do











    Fleetwood Mac – Little Lies











    Depeche Mode – Policy of Truth

    • 1 u. 30 min.
    In All Our Affairs – 365

    In All Our Affairs – 365

    Step 12 suggests that we “practice these principles in all our affairs”. What does this mean to you? How do you do it?







    Definition: principle







    * a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.







    The AA 12 principles from the book 12 Steps and 12 Traditions







    * HONESTY – Fairness and straight forwardness of conduct: adherence to the facts.* HOPE – To expect with desire; something on which hopes are centered.* FAITH – Complete confidence; belief and trust.* COURAGE – Firmness  of  mind  and  will  in  the  face  of  extreme  difficulty;  mental  or  moral  strength  to withstand fear.* INTEGRITY – The quality or state of being complete or undivided; soundness.* WILLINGNESS – Prompt to act or respond; accepted and done of choice or without reluctance.* HUMILITY – Not proud or haughty; not arrogant or assertive; a clear and concise understanding of what we are, followed by a sincere desire to become what we can be.* LOVE – Unselfish concern that freely accepts another in loyalty and seeks his good to hold dear.* DISCIPLINE – Training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character; to bring under control; to train or develop by instruction.* PATIENCE/PERSEVERANCE – Steadfast despite opposition or adversity; able or willing to bear; to persist in an understanding in spite of counter influences.* AWARENESS – Alive and alert; vigilance in observing.* SERVICE – A  helpful  act;  contribution  to  the  welfare  of  others;  useful  labor  that  does  not  produce  a tangible commodity.







    * What do you consider to be “these principles”?* Why is it important to practice them “in all your affairs”?* What does the word “practice” say to you?* How have your life and your relationships been changed by practicing this step?* What tools help you to practice these principles?* How to carry them “out of the rooms and into traffic.”* How have you used Al-Anon recovery principles in your life, and how were your actions, feelings, and reactions different?















    Readings and Links







    We read from How Al-Anon Works Step 12 discussion in Chapter 8.







    The reading referred to the book In All Our Affairs.







    Elizabeth read from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, November 4 (p. 309).







    Upcoming topics







    Our topic for next week is honesty. what does a lack of honesty with ourselves and others look like and what does the program teach us about the importance of honesty to our recovery?







    Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.















    Music from the Show











    The Avett Brothers – No Hard Feelings











    Indigo Girls – Hammer and a Nail











    FC Kanuna – Hayling

    • 1 u. 23 min.

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