What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.
"Mom guilt" is shorthand for what we think are two pretty different things:

the universal, low-grade feelings of inadequacy that our soccer snacks aren't as good as Monica's

the intense, deeply personal shame that we are definitely the only horrible parent who has ever allowed their baby to roll off the changing table


Yes, we take on these feelings of guilt and shame—but society is pretty quick to hand them to us. In this episode we discuss

why there isn't such a thing as "dad guilt"

why mom guilt might serve as a sort of magical thinking

if we can at least skip the feeling guilty about HAVING mom guilt part


Here are links to some studies and other writing on this topic that we discuss in this episode:

Lara Bazelon for The Atlantic: The End of Mom Guilt


Amy Paturel for The Washington Post: Why we feel 'mom guilt'—and how to stop


Fresh Take: Dana Dorfman on When Worry Works

Fresh Take: Carla Naumburg on Why You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent

Fresh Take: Sara Petersen on "Momfluencers"

Fresh Take: Susan Linn on How 'Big Tech' Targets Our Kids

Batram-Zantvoort, Stephanie et al, Frontiers in Global Women's Health: "Maternal self-conception and mental wellbeing..."   


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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,
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How can we tear our kids away from the increasingly addictive video games they can't get enough of? Dr. Alok Kanojia, author of the book HOW TO RAISE A HEALTHY GAMER, explains how to talk to kids about their video game addiction.
Dr. Kanojia is a former gaming addict and a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who has developed evidence-based programs that helped tens of thousands of gamers overcome their addiction.
Margaret and Dr. Kanojia discuss:

Signs that someone is addicted to something and why gaming can fill a void

How to talk to your gamer about healthy habits

Enforcing boundaries around gaming and dealing with resistance to those boundaries


Here's where you can find Dr. Kanojia:

Follow Dr.K's podcast HealthyGamerGG https://open.spotify.com/show/6VaJwyS2KXxiXqR77jqzmP


Check out Dr.K's Book, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer https://bit.ly/4c8BNkr    

Healthy Gamer Website https://www.healthygamer.gg/  

Instagram: @healthygamergg

X: @dralokkanjia

YouTube: @healthy gamer GG

TikTok: @healthygamer.gg


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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, gaming, gaming addiction, video games, video game addiction, kids gaming addiction
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Are you worried your picky eater will never eat a vegetable as long as they live? Here are some parenting tips for picky eaters—and some updates on Amy and Margaret's own picky eaters since recording our very first episode 8 years ago! (It's good news.)
Amy and Margaret discuss:

Why it's helpful to make food the least interesting thing at the dinner table

How to maintain your own sanity around mealtimes by meeting kids where they are

Why dinnertime is actually the worst time of day to get kids to try new foods

How pairing and "food chaining" can help expand your picky eaters' palates


Here is a link to one of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Benioff Childrens Hospitals: Picky Eaters


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manifest reality, positive thinking, toxic positivity, magical thinking, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities,
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Parenting as a team is an ongoing challenge– even when your relationship with your co-parent is usually harmonious. But matching headspaces with your co-parent about a problem your family, or one of your children, is dealing with doesn't have to be the goal. 
Parenting as a team can often mean taking turns, whether it's with the pancake-flipping, the hard talks with teenagers, or the 3 am worried Googling of ICD-10 diagnoses. In this episode we talk about what’s worked for us in moments of disagreement or struggle with our spouses, and how we found common ground.
If getting through the pandemic meant zooming in, just getting to the next lamppost, parenting as a team means zooming way out. If you know you're on the same page about the adults you want your children to become, it's a little easier to chill out about how they’ll get there. 
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Amy and Margaret discuss their "Pre-Cana" experiences in the Catholic Church, and the usefulness of the Engaged Encounter program in particular. To find out more: engagedencounter.com
Buy WHAT CHILDREN LEARN FROM THEIR PARENTS' MARRIAGES: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780060929305

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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity
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Why are stereotypes of teenage girls rarely flattering? And what important traits are we not acknowledging in these young women? Chelsey Goodan, author of the new book UNDERESTIMATED: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls, explains what teenage girls really want and need from us.
Chelsey and Amy discuss:

The generational shift towards a culture of support and empowerment among young girls today

The significance of offering agency to young girls in shaping their identities and futures

What teenage girls want from their parents more than anything else


Here's where you can find Chelsey:

https://www.chelseygoodan.com

@chelseygoodan on IG and X

Buy UNDERSTIMATED: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668032688


https://www.democrashe.org/

https://www.acalltomen.org/about/


Amy also mentions our Fresh Take with Judith Warner in this episode: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/fresh-take-judith-warner-on-what-grownups-get-wrong-about-middle-school/

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, teenage girl, female empowerment, feminism, mentorship for teens, gender equity
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The human tendency to solve problems by adding something is called "additive solution bias." However, sometimes a problem is more quickly and effectively solved by taking something away.
In this episode we talk about how "additive solution bias" can play out in our parenting strategies, and how we can become more aware of the times when what we actually need to do is take something away.
Amy and Margaret discuss:

Why our brains are wired to solve problems by adding things

How additive solution bias increases along with the size of the problem we're attempting to solve

Why removing something, or doing less, isn't automatically easier


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Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Diana Kwon for Scientific American: "Our Brain Typically Overlooks This Brilliant Problem-Solving Strategy"


Gabrielle S. Adams, et. al for Nature: "People systematically overlook subtractive changes"


Less is more: Why our brains struggle to subtract

Anthony Sanni: Additive Bias—and how it could be affecting your productivity


Braess's paradox

Rachel Fairbank for Lifehacker: "Why You Should 'Subtract' From Your Parenting"


SUBTRACT by Leidy Klotz

Our Fresh Take with Amanda Montell

Our Fresh Take with Yael Schonbrun

THE SENSORY CHILD GETS ORGANIZED by Carolyn Dalgliesh


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent
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