Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore the practical science of lasting well-being, and teach you how to build reliable inner strengths, overcome your challenges, and get the most out of life. New conversations every Monday.
Rediscovering Your True Self: Parentification and the "Gifted Child"
When a child is particularly emotionally intelligent, and a parent is particularly emotionally vulnerable, an inversion of the typical relationship can occur where the child devotes themselves to meeting the parent’s needs rather than the other way around. This can lead the child to lose touch with their own wants and needs – with their authentic self – which then leads to underlying feelings of worthlessness, uncertainty, and self-alienation in adulthood.
Extreme versions of this pattern are known as parentification, but mild to moderate versions are surprisingly common. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how we can heal from the effects of these difficult early experiences and rediscover who we truly are.
Connecting with Your Best Parts
A little while ago, we had an episode on self-awareness where Rick emphasized how the majority of what people have to become self-aware of is the good inside themselves. The point felt significant enough to expand into a full episode about how to connect with our best parts.
On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how to accept, appreciate, and connect with our positive aspects, and how to deal with some of the blocks that prevent us from embracing the good in ourselves. We look at how the culture we’re in affects our perspective, how to manage fears of conceit, and how to experience more intimacy and courage by releasing cynicism.
Recovering from Complex PTSD with Elizabeth Ferreira
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) is the result of the slow accumulation of many small traumatic experiences over time. On today’s episode, Forrest is joined by his partner Elizabeth Ferreira to explore CPTSD through a personal lens. Elizabeth shares her CPTSD origin story, what CPTSD feels like, and how to create a compassionate environment with or without a therapist so you can safely process grief, experience out repressed emotions, and learn to express your needs.
Attachment, and Cultivating Nonattachment
You might have heard the line “attachment is the root of suffering.” It comes from the Buddha, but you don’t have to be a Buddhist to recognize that becoming overly attached to a particular outcome, person, or view of yourself can lead to a lot of suffering. At the same time, there are clearly things that are sensible to be attached to – like our loved ones, a basic moral compass, and fundamentals like food and shelter. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss the problem with unhealthy attachment, what differentiates healthy and unhealthy forms of attachment, and what we can do to relax our attachments over time.
Intimacy, Individuality, and Breaking the Trauma Cycle with Terry Real
On one of our favorite episodes of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by author and therapist Terry Real to talk about how to overcome the myth of toxic individualism, break trauma cycles, and experience real intimacy in our relationships. They discuss how to balance acceptance and agency, develop a healthy sense of trust and self-esteem, communicate what we want effectively, and experience our power through collaboration rather than dominance.
Overcoming Comparison and Accepting Ordinary with Dr. Ron Siegel
When was the last time you went through a day without comparing yourself to anyone? For instance, by comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel on social media, or being critical of your own willpower and abilities? Avoiding these mental traps can be difficult in a culture that emphasizes the importance of being 'special.'
Of course, we are all special – and all ordinary. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by psychologist and author Dr. Ronald Siegel to discuss why that might not be such a bad thing. They discuss how to drop the myth of the extraordinary, how to heal from feelings of inadequacy, and what healthy self-esteem looks like.