Deep Resilience Melli O'Brien

Sometimes, things go wrong. Unfortunate things happen. We make mistakes. We all know this is an unavoidable part of life, but there may be something working in the background that can transform these moments from mere setbacks into inflated beliefs about our character. When we personalise these events, conflating what happened with who we are, we become defined by our failures, increasing negative thoughts, lowering self-esteem and even causing social anxiety or depression.
In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to separate your actions from your identity, consider the situation from all angles and question the validity of the negative narratives that emerge. By fostering an objective, depersonalised approach, you can begin to tease apart guilt from shame and move forward with greater strength, wisdom and empowerment.
Key Links:
Transforming Guilt into Wisdom: https://open.spotify.com/episode/05Ljm6m26pgyu7OBo63YEl
Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

We all want a better life, but is our pursuit of it actually making us happier? In many instances, the answer is no. This is where the Jevons paradox comes in. The Jevons Paradox is named for the nineteenth-century economist William Stanley Jevons. He noticed that as steam engines, powered by coal, became ever more efficient, Britain’s appetite for coal increased rather than decreased.
The paradox still exists today. The latest renewable energy technologies are not resulting in a decrease in climate change for instance. I think this same principle applies to our desire to make a better life for ourselves. Today, the latest ideas on how to be better and have a better life (look better, get richer, have more and better stuff, achieve more success) can lead to unintended consequences.
It turns out that pursuing ever-more activities designed to make ourselves and our lives better often leads us to feel greater stress, dissatisfaction and disconnection with the things that truly matter.
The problem isn’t the actual technology or wanting to make positive changes. The problem starts within, with a simple mindset shift. In this episode, I offer a way to counter the Jevons paradox and become more self-aware, genuinely happy and authentic.
Key Links:
Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Identifying and expressing our emotions effectively can one tricky but being able talk about our feelings with others is really important, not only to our relationships with others but for our own mental health, quality of life and overall wellbeing.
In this episode of the podcast I offer you a helpful three step framework to help you identify your emotions and the reasons behind them clearly. Then communicate them in a way that defuses defensiveness and fosters understanding, mutual respect and helpful outcomes.
Key Links:
Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

We all grow up with messaging about what’s “normal”: a normal family, a normal body, a normal life. We may not be conscious of it, but these ideas can linger in the backwaters of our minds and hinder our ability to live with agency and authenticity. The truth, though, is that the idea of “normal” is a myth, and constant striving to close the gap between the reality we live in and how we think things are supposed to be can breed shame and self-doubt, leaving us feeling isolated and unworthy.
In this episode of Deep Resilience, I share some “not-normal” aspects of myself that I once struggled with but now embrace. I invite you to identify the conflicts between who you are and your idea of who you’re supposed to be and bring them into the light. By breaking out of the tight box of “normal” and the judgments it imposes, you can step into your uninhibited self-expression and cultivate compassionate understanding, which can then be extended to others.
Key Links:
Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Change is inevitable, but that doesn’t make it easy. Even positive life transitions can feel destabilising, and our excitement can quickly be transcended by stress and overwhelm. Whether we are navigating major or minor-scale change, there are steps we can take to help move through these shifts with greater ease and confidence, allowing us to anchor ourselves amidst life’s turbulent tides and emerge stronger on the other side.  
In this episode of Deep Resilience, I present five invaluable strategies to foster an affirming and grounding approach to life's changes, big or small. Wherever you currently find yourself, I encourage you to explore how these concepts can be applied broadly to enhance your overall wellbeing and state of mind.
Key Links:
Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package 
Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

Guilt is a complex and often uncomfortable emotion, and while we might find it distressing to experience, it holds immense potential for constructive growth if we tune into its insights. Often mistaken for shame, which can become debilitating and detrimental to our self-esteem and wellbeing, guilt offers an avenue to realign with our values and authentic selves. In making this distinction and reflecting on the source of our guilt and the actions and circumstances that prompted it, we can fully embrace the wisdom it has to offer and commit to positive change.
In this episode of Deep Resilience, I elucidate the crucial difference between guilt and shame and the importance of separating who you are from your actions. I guide you to investigate the emotion with empathy and transform the experience from disempowerment into one of motivation, inner strength, and mental clarity.
Key Links:
Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package
Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/