Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy David Burns, MD

FROZEN: Part 1 of 2 Featuring Personal Work with Cody In today’s, and next week’s, podcasts. we present the next episode of live work with Cody. The first, which featured Rejection Practice for social anxiety, was published as Podcast #326 on January 9, 2023 at this LINK.
My co-therapist for this session was the wonderful Dr. Jill Levitt, the Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View, California (LINK.).
Before I describe Cody’s session, I want to remind you that I am bringing back my annual, four-day summer intensive at the South San Francisco Conference Center this year, for the first time in five years. We had to abandon it due to the pandemic, and this year we are bringing it back to life on August 8 to 11. It will cover TEAM-CBT for depression and anxiety, but with a few changes, hopefully innovations and further improvements.
For one thing, you can attend in person or online this year, and Dr. Levitt will be teaching with me. This will make the experience even better, since Jill is a brilliant psychotherapy teacher, certainly among the top in the world! The in-person seating will be strictly limited to 100, so register early if you are interested, at
Intensive Information / Registration The online version will be identical, with many skilled experts to guide you in the many interactive exercises, making both the in person and online versions identical. However, the online will be roughly half the cost, so that could be an appealing option if you are cost-conscious or if you live far away. No travel needed this year!
But perhaps most important, this annual intensive always proves to be the best training experience of the year, with chances to learn sophisticated and magnificent TEAM techniques to use with your patients. But you will also have the chance to do your own personal work. Many, many people have said that the intensives are absolutely magical, and I totally agree!
In fact, the summer intensive might be the training you always dreamed about, but never really received, in graduate school!. Sadly, this workshop is a training program which will be limited to therapists and mental health professionals and graduate students in a mental health field  Apologies, but therapists have complained when non-therapists have attended our continuing education training programs. This is partly because of the intimate nature of the small group exercises and the personal work the therapists may do during the workshop. Certified coaches and counselors are welcome to attend.
Now, back to the podcast, in which you’ll hear some additional TEAM-CBT magic. Cody asked for help with a problem that’s been bugging him for some time. He sometimes freezes up when asked to do a role play or answer a question during psychotherapy training sessions. This typically leads to an awkward silence, and feelings of intense anxiety, inadequacy, frustration, embarrassment and more.
Here's how he described it:
Upsetting event: I was doing a suicide screening role-play with our clinical supervisor and other therapists. After working through the first step of the role-play, I froze and did not say a word!
Here's how Cody was feeling.
Emotions
% Before % Goal % After Sad, blue, depressed, down, unhappy 40     Anxious, worried, panicky, nervous, frightened 95     Guilty, remorseful, bad, ashamed 20     Inferior, worthless, inadequate, defective, incompetent 40     Lonely, unloved, unwanted, rejected, alone, abandoned 50     Embarrassed, foolish, humiliated, self-conscious 100     Hopeless, discouraged, pessimistic, despairing 50     Frustrated, stuck, thwarted, defeated 50     Angry, mad, resentful, annoyed, irritated, upset, furious 30     Confused 60
     
As you can see and might imagine, the most intense feelings were anxiety and embarrassment, but several other feelings were fairly intense as well: such as feeling alone, discouraged, frustrated, a

Ask David, Rhonda and Matt Assertiveness, Suppressing your Feelings, and the "Miracle Cure" question Questions for today’s Ask David podcast. Chris asks if I have a book about assertiveness. Brian asks: Is there anything to the theory that "suppressing emotions" is harmful or is that just Freudian mumbo jumbo? Matt asks about the “Miracle Cure” question in the Assessment of Resistance portion of a TEAM therapy session. Rhonda began with a lovely endorsement and a cool reminder of the classic book, Robinson Crusoe, who created cognitive therapy (the double column technique) when he was stranded on a deserted island! I believe I wrote about it in one of my books, possibly Feeling Good. It’s pretty cool! You will hear Matt playing the role of the “evil” thoughts, like, “I am stranded alone on a deserted island,” and Rhonda will play the role of the “good” thoughts, like, “Yes, but my life was spared, and all of my shipmates died.”
Here's what it looks like in the novel:
Evil. Good. I am cast upon a horrible, desolate island, void of all hope of recovery.     But I am alive; and not drowned, as all my ship’s company were. I am singled out and separated, as it were, from all the world, to be miserable.     But I am singled out, too, from all the ship’s crew, to be spared from death; and He that miraculously saved me from death can deliver me from this condition. I am divided from mankind—a solitaire; one banished from human society.     But I am not starved, and perishing on a barren place, affording no sustenance. I have no clothes to cover me.     But I am in a hot climate, where, if I had clothes, I could hardly wear them. I am without any defence, or means to resist any violence of man or beast.     But I am cast on an island where I see no wild beasts to hurt me, as I saw on the coast of Africa; and what if I had been shipwrecked there? I have no soul to speak to or relieve me.     But God wonderfully sent the ship in near enough to the shore, that I have got out as many necessary things as will either supply my wants or enable me to supply myself, even as long as I live. I know this novel is a couple hundred years old, so it certainly deserves nomination of the earliest cognitive therapy!
Now, for the answers to today’s Ask David questions. Keep in mind that these answers were written BEFORE today’s recording, so the actual live answers will differ in some regards from the written answers below.
 
1. Chris asks if I have a book about assertiveness. Hi Dr. Burns,
I hope you're doing well. Do you have a book on assertiveness training?
I've used your books to help me with my hidden "should" statements, which has enabled me to be less angry or anxious whenever someone treats me less than satisfactorily.
While this has helped immensely, I realize it's still in my interest to reduce the behavior I disagree with. For example, my sibling scheduled an early morning shift after I had a long day of work. Because they can't drive, they expect me to take them to work, which means I'll only get about 5 hours of sleep; this in itself isn't a bad thing... except this is the 3rd time in a row they've done this.
After using your techniques, I'm less angry and anxious, but I still want to address the behavior to reduce the likelihood that they do something like this again, which is why I'm reaching out.
Thanks for your help.
Kind regards,
Chris
David’s Reply
Sure. I like my own book, Feeling Good Together, and have often recommended Manuel Smith’s When I Say NO I Feel Guilty.
There is a LOT to be said about assertiveness training, including the fact that it doesn’t always work! I can give a great personal account of that!
Sometimes, or always, skillful listening is also effective. Assertiveness without listening makes it sound like only your own feelings are important, which is obviously pretty self-centered.
One of the most helpfu

Incredible Voices from the Past! Plus: David's Amazing Summer Intensive Returns August 8 - 11, 2024 Today, David and Rhonda are joined by Dr. Jill Levitt, the Director of Clinical Training at the Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View, California, and two incredible voices from the past: Dr. Karen Radella, a clinical psychologist who volunteered to do personal work at the 2013 summer intensive at the South San Francisco Conference Center, and Jacqueline Ong, LCSW, who volunteered to do personal work at the 2019 summer intensive. That was the last summer intensive, due primarily to the Covid pandemic.

Karen Radella, PhD
But here’s some fantastic news. The intensive returns again this summer, from August 8 to 11, 2024, at the same location. And Karen and Jacqueline give testimonial today, along with Rhonda, to the magic of the intensive, by describing the phenomenal impact of the personal work they did years ago, and the tremendous impact that work has had on their personal and professional lives.
Both Karen and Jacqueline had been suffering from the devastating emotional impact of severe personal trauma for many years. Nine years earlier, when Karen’s daughter was 12, she asked Karen if she could go out to play after dinner. She’d done this for years, but Karen had the thought that it was late and cold outside, but gave in and let her daughter go out to play.
Minutes later, some neighborhood boys snuck up on her and shot her in the mouth with a high-powered pellet rifle that blew out one of her teeth and did considerable damage to her mouth which triggered PTSD and required many dental surgeries to correct. Both Karen and her daughter had been suffering emotionally for the nine years since that incident.
Karen was telling herself that she was a bad mom, that she “shouldn’t have” let her go out to play on that particular night, and that her daughter’s horrific trauma was her fault. She was also convinced that other people, including the 100+ in the audience that evening, would be judging her as harshly as she was judging herself, and her feelings of fear and despair were palpable at the start of her live work.
Karen described the techniques that were so helpful to her in her fantastic recovery that evening during her two hour session with Jill and David, including the Survey Technique, which she said was the “coolest experience of my entire life.” She was also helped by other techniques, including Explain the Distortions, the Double Standard Technique, and the Externalization of Voices.
Jacqueline had suffered a different but equally severe traumatic event of a personal nature, but also disclosed it and worked it through with great courage in front of an audience of the same size in 2019. Like Karen, she experienced a complete elimination of her symptoms in the 2 hour session with Jill and David. She describe the keys to her suffering and recovery involved perfectionism (the need to be flawless) and perceived perfectionism (a term David coined that refers to the belief that others expect us to be perfect in order to be loved and respected.)
Jacqueline emphasized that “failing as fast as you can” is one of the keys to the rapid recovery we so often see in TEAM. Instead of meeting once a week for an hour, which sets you up for very slow progress with relapses between sessions, you use technique after technique in one session until you find the one that works.
Of course, following “recovery,” your negative thoughts will return over and over throughout your life, because no one is entitled to be—or would even want to be—happy all the time. But once you’ve experienced your own enlightenment, you know the tools that work for you, so you get better and better at heading off the relapses at the pass.
Jacqueline and Karen both said they’d heard that the personal work at an intensive can be life-changing, but they “wouldn’t have believed it” until they experienced it. Rhonda said,

Ask David, Rhonda and Matt More on Insomnia; Porn Addiction Guilt; Rage Questions for today James asks for help with insomnia. Arjun Asks: How can I stop blaming myself for my porn addiction as a teen? Stephan asks: How do you treat feelings of rage? And what if you are simply very angry, but you don’t have any thoughts?  
James asks for help with insomnia, Hi Dr. Burns,
I enjoy your newsletter and have experienced moments of clarity with your book. However, my current struggle is that I have developed terrible sleep anxiety. I feel nervous tension in my stomach and trembling limbs as nighttime approaches. Some nights I can put these feelings aside and dose off and others I just cannot stop dwelling on the negative body sensations and it does not allow me to sleep. I wonder if you can offer some advice on how to get over this fear and accompanying sensations.
Best,
James
David’s reply
Thanks, James. Sorry you’re struggling with trouble sleeping.
Yes, a Daily Mood Log can help, to find out what you are telling yourself that makes you so anxious about not sleeping.
Also, the Hidden Emotion Technique may be important to find out if there’s a problem in your life that’s bugging you.
There are also the typical sleep hygiene tips that can be useful for some folks, too! You can find these with an internet search.
Can I use this as an Ask David question for a podcast, with your first name or a fake name?
Best, david
 
Arjun Asks: How can I stop blaming myself for my porn addiction as a teen? Hi Rhonda,
I Really appreciate the work that you guys do and I listen to most of the feeling good podcasts. I'm 27 and have struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens. I'm currently in therapy with a TEAM certified professional from India, but I'm still grappling with feelings of being stuck in my past.
During my pre-teen years, I battled a porn addiction for about a year, which has left me with ongoing feelings of anxiety, guilt, and depression. Despite trying various therapies, I haven't found relief.
I keep fixating on the thought: "I shouldn't have indulged in porn addiction in the past. It's led me to develop anxiety and depression."
How do I debunk this thought, reduce its hold on me, and cope with the regret it brings? It feels like I'm trapped in my past. and constantly blaming myself for that one mistake. because that indulgence in porn really did change my life. I wasn't the same as before. and never could go back to being who I was.
How do I put the lie to this thought? Any methods you'd recommend putting in the recovery circle?
Your insights would be invaluable in helping me move forward.
Thank you,
Arjun
David’s reply: The key concept is that the problem is perfectionism, plus the beating up on yourself in the here and now, and not the behavior or misbehavior in your past. In the live podcast, we can discuss the importance of T = Testing (with DML), E = Empathy and A = Assessment of Resistance, and M = Methods, like explain the distortions, Perfectionism / Self-Blame CBA, D. Standard, EOR, EOV, etc. etc.
The issue, as I see it, is that you are looking for a technique to help you accept yourself, but in reality, it is a decision for you to make. The choice is to accept yourself with compassion or continue to beat up on yourself.
There are many really GOOD reasons to beat up on yourself, and we can perhaps outline some on the podcast. You would then have to explain why you’d really want to accept yourself, given all the good reasons to keep beating up on yourself, and given all the positive things your self-criticisms show about you.
Also, I will try to remember to tell one of my favorite Buddhist stories that relates to this problem.
 
Stephan asks: How do treat feelings of rage? And what if you are simply very angry, but you don’t have any thoughts? Hello Mr. Burns, I hope this email finds you in good spirits.
I’ve just begun your book “Feeling Good

Featured photo is Dr. Jacob Towery Report on the 2nd Annual Social Anxiety Marathon Finding Humans Less Scary 2.0 Led by Jacob Towery, MD  (above) and   Michael Luo, MD (below) Today, Drs. Jacob Towery and Michael Luo report on the second annual “Finding Humans Less Scary” 2-day marathon in March of this year.
As you all know, I am partial to offering valuable experiences for therapists and the general public for free, and my website (feelinggood.com) and life are focused pretty strongly on this goal, although I realize it isn’t always possible since we all have to support ourselves and our families. That’s why Rhonda and I are so proud of our colleagues, Jacob and Michel, who have now completed their second annual social anxiety marathon, which was open to therapists and the general public alike—in fact anyone struggling with shyness, public speaking anxiety, and other forms of social anxiety.
And the total cost of admission both years had been a simple, $20 tax-deductible contribution to one of the charities listed on the FHLS website. That’s pretty darn cool, since the leaders are among the world’s top experts in the treatment of social anxiety, and there were, in addition, numerous highly trained TEAM therapists providing small group supervision and mentoring as well!
They described a number of highlights from the event, including group exercises, both within the auditorium and also outside, on the streets of Palo Alto, doing exercises designed to help participants overcome fears and build feelings of confidence and self-esteem, including, but not limited to:
Smile and Hello Practice Talk Show Host Rejection Practice Shame Attacking Exercises Feared Fantasy The Vulnerability Ladder Primary vs Secondary Characteristics Self-Compassion Enthusiastic Verbal Consent Internalizing a Compliment Flirtation Training Cost-Benefit Analysis of Maintaining Social Anxiety Exposure (public speaking on stage) And many more
Michael explained that the program was sold out, and that participants came from a wide variety of backgrounds, and many had life-change experiences. Many provided testimonials on what the experience meant to them, including:
“I grew as a person and experienced a dramatic increase in vulnerability and genuineness in my interactions with others.”
“My son attended Jacob Towery's two-day social anxiety workshop, Finding Humans Less Scary, and found it life changing. He asked me to come along for moral support, which meant I witnessed the transformation in real time. I have never seen anything like it in my life! Quite literally, one person went into the conference room that morning and a different person came out at the end of the day. He was elated. He met amazing people and had transformational conversations. He walked down the street hooting like a bird. He looked and acted like he had thrown off some old moldy coat.
“Day two seemed to deepen and solidify the gains. On our drive home he taught me what he had learned (I got some trickle down wisdom!) and he was able to trace how the roots of his social anxiety got started and grew. He reflected on the fact that some people in the room were nearly 70, and that he felt lucky to be learning this stuff at 23.
“I can highly recommend this experience to other people who are struggling with social anxiety and want to try a novel approach to breaking the pattern.”
I’m of the belief that, in a sense, we’re all one. That means that you can’t bring joy to another person without bringing joy to yourself. And Jacob and Michael both seemed to be on a high from their efforts to touch so many people.
If you’re also excited, make sure you register next year well ahead of time so you, too, can have this life-transforming experience, which is (almost) totally free!
Thank you for listening today!
Rhonda and David

393 Marina Dyck on TEAM for Insomnia Today we feature Marina Dyck, a TEAM-Certified Clinical Counselor in private practices in Swift Current, Saskatchewan, Canada. She works with individuals and families struggling with trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. She combines the latest research in neuroscience, powered by TEAM-CBT, and what she calls the "whole person" approach.
Marina describes her innovative TEAM-CBT treatment for patients with trouble sleeping. Many of them toss and turn at night, unable to turn off their anxious and agitated brains, so they ruminate over and over about problems that are bugging them. Sound familiar?
Here’s David’s quick, step by step overview of Marina's treatment approach, which is based on the steps of TEAM and the Daily Mood Log.
Step 1. Let’s imagine you’re the patient (or the shrink), so you start with a brief description of the Upsetting Event at the top of the Daily Mood Log. It could be something as simple as ”Lying in bed for several hours, unable to get to sleep because I keep ruminating about a report I have not finished for work,” or some other problem.
Step 2. Identify your negative feelings and estimate how intense each one is on a scale from 0 (not at all) to 100 (the worst.) For example, you may be feeling:
Sad, down: 80% Anxious, panicky: 95% Guilty, ashamed: 70% Inadequate, incompetent, inferior: 90% Alone: 100% Discouraged: 80% Frustrated: 95% Angry, annoyed: 100% Step 3: Record your negative thoughts and how strongly you believe each one from 0% to 100%. For example, you may be telling yourself:
I have to get to sleep! 100% If I don’t get to sleep, I’ll never be able to function tomorrow. 90% I should have completed my report for my boss today. 100% I should get out of bed and work on it. 90% There must be something wrong with me. 100% etc. etc. Step 4. Identify the distortions in these thoughts, like All-or-Nothing Thinking, Fortune-Telling, Should Statements, Emotional Reasoning, Magnification, and more.
Now, if you’re a shrink, after you’ve empathized, do the A = Paradoxical Agenda Setting or Assessment of Resistance. If you’re a general citizen, you can do Positive Reframing. In other words, instead of trying to make your negative thoughts and feeling disappear entirely by pushing the Magic Button, you can ask two questions about each negative thought (NT) or feeling:
How might this NT or feeling be helping me? What does this NT or feeling show about me and my core values that’s positive and awesome? Example. In the current example you are 95% anxious and panicky about your report for work as well as the fact that you can’t relax and fall asleep. Could there be some positives in your anxiety and panic? For example, these feelings might show
Your intense commitment to your work. They may be a reflection of your high standards. Your anxiety, while uncomfortable, has probably motivated you to work hard and achieve a great deal. Your anxiety may protect you from danger and keep you focused on what you have to do to succeed and survive. Your anxiety could be an expression of your respect for your boss and for the company you’re working for. Your desire to do a good job is probably a reflection of one of your core values as a human being. You could make similar lists for other feelings as well, like feeling down, guilty, discouraged, angry, and so forth.
At that point, you can set your goals for every negative feeling.
For example, you might decide that 15% or 20% might be enough anxiety and panic, and that 15% shame would be enough, and so forth. You can record your goals for each negative feeling in the goal column of your Daily Mood Log.
This is much easier than if you try to reduce them all to zero by pressing the Magic Button. And even if you could, then all of the positives you listed would go down the drain, right along with your negative thoughts and feelings.
Instead, you can aim to reduce them to som