Ex-Gifted Raine

New year, new me! And by that, I mean I've changed my name, and have been going by Raine in my personal life, and now on the internet as well it seems!
Keeping New Year's resolutions has a lot less to do with willpower and resolve than it does with being realistic and setting goals you're meant to keep instead of goals that allow you to give up immediately.
If you need help with your goals, join my discord server! https://discord.gg/JkPbnhb


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Music

Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod

Link: [https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune](https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune)

License: [https://filmmusic.io/standard-license](https://filmmusic.io/standard-license)



About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:

If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.

Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.

Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.

Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.

We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.

Thanks!

Problem: It's hard to remember that June and December have different struggles when it comes to productivity, mental health, and executive dysfunction if we don't actually mark the passage of time through the year.
Solution: Celebrating the two solstices and two equinoxes is a great way to welcome a new season and actually tangibly remind yourself that things are about to get different. For the upcoming autumn equinox, try some autumnal decor and recipes, but also don't forget about cleaning and decluttering to prepare your home for the winter months when you likely spend more time indoors.
Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It’s been redesigned and I’m posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I’m hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they’re currently active!
I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff.
The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub.
Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month!
And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted!
My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I’m having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even.
You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.
—
Music
Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:
If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.
Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.
Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.
Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.
We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.
Thanks!

pick it up every day (note this doesn't mean you need to do anything elaborate in it)time management consists of two parts: what you do and when you do it. This results in 4 possible combinations
Plan what you do AND when you do itPlan when you're working, but not exactly what - aka time blocking. Combining time blocking and to-dos can be a great system for ND people who need some structure but also need the flexibility in their system to work on their current interestsPlan what you do, but not exactly when - aka to-do lists Plan neither what you do NOR when you do it. Wait what? Remember how I recommended intentions a few weeks ago? If you're not trying to rein in the chaos, but let it flow free, while still having a bit more ownership over the flavor of your days, setting intentions can actually work great without a schedule as such.
think about planning style (more strict or less)don't start with a plan. Planning is exciting, but following the plan often isn't. Starting with an elaborate plan can kill any interest in picking up your planner every day. In the beginning, productivity comes second to actually using your planner.track your time (but only temporarily)Check out my post on the ABCs of time management to learn more about time blocking.rolling weekly (can be used in a bullet journal or any planner with enough space to make it)Intention-setting can be systematized to some degree in order to use it more effectively, without turning it into an overbearing task list. This is especially useful when you're just getting started by boosting your results early on, instead of just kind of flapping about, forgetting about your intentions almost as soon as you set them.Future you is a pal. You need to always take care of future you. Schedule time to plan Think about the buckets of your life and the tasks you need to do for each. (home, personal, family, work, friends, school, etc...)consider keeping a record of all the recurring things in each bucket (can work great for the rolling to-do list)feel free to sketch a plan on a sheet of paper, or in a rocketbook before committing it to your plannerbut also don't be afraid to make mistakes. Go to the last page and create a pen test page (little coffee fox has some great tips for getting started - skip to the end to see how she recommends to deal with fear of getting started) or a grid spacing page. If you start with something kind of ugly and purely functional, you'll feel less paralyzed when it comes to messing something up later onerasable pens (Frixion)If your current planner style isn't quite working, or if it's feeling too stale, try something new on the next page instead of trying to push through. Don't fix what isn't broken, but don't hold onto something just because it used to work. If you're using a preprinted planner, think of your planner pages more as....suggestions...than actual rules you need to stick to. Ignore parts that don't work, or change them to something that does work.if color coding really isn't your thing, use a different code - symbols/signifiers, columns/boxes, etc... There are ways to separate your tasks without use of the Multicolor pen.brain dump daily or weekly (as needed or as your planner allows) and translate this into to-do lists. Not everything in your brain needs to go on the to-do listConsider using more checklists to proactively help you remember what to do, and fewer trackers to retroactively judge what you did (or didn't do) Trackers are still great for...

There's a new podcast on the way, but it needs more work than a standard episode, so I recorded a little something until then. Find the video here: https://youtu.be/VCHGrghlFzU
It's tossed about a lot: that you will never grow if you allow yourself to be comfortable.
It's b******t.
Growth itself is uncomfortable, but comfort and safety provide the best foundation for the discomfort of growth. In other words, you don't grow by forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations. Growth comes when you take care of yourself and leave space for it.

One thing that can help you make space for growth is learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. 
Cultivating discomfort tolerance is one of the best things I've done for myself - my word of the year is growth after all - but it doesn't bring about growth on its own (except for growing your discomfort tolerance, that is.)
What discomfort tolerance does do is take away some of sting and fear of growth, because when things get uncomfortable you know you can handle it, and you know how to take care of yourself and keep yourself as comfortable as possible through this period of growth.
Growth is a time of vulnerability - so you must keep yourself safe, secure, and as comfortable as you can in all other areas during that time.

The last thing is to remember that growth isn't meant to continue indefinitely. In preparation for the uncomfortable winter, plants die back and halt growth. People have to do something similar, allowing periods of quiet consolidation after their time of rapid expansion. 
If plants don't finish this process before the first freeze, they can die. If we don't do it, we face burnout.

Keep growing (and also resting)


----------
Check out the rest of my Ko-Fi page! It’s been redesigned and I’m posting so much over there as I work on moving to a new website. I’m hosting challenges, posting previews for blog posts in progress, and of course uploading the video versions of this podcast right here. And the challenges are entirely free for anyone following along while they’re currently active!
I also have new membership options. The natural 20 membership is ridiculous and includes the entire roleplanning system catalog, plus ongoing membership in the Quest for Chaos with a 1-on-1 session and weekly small-group sessions, plus a private podcast, plus a ton of other stuff.
The natural 1 membership is for normal people and only costs $1 a month, but still unlocks every single post that you can only get otherwise with a minimum of a $3 donation, as well as the challenges and on-demand content in the Members Hub.
Join the Natural 1 membership for only $1/month!
And all monthly subscribers at either level will get a shoutout at the end of each episode of Ex-Gifted!
My current goal is to reach a lofty $120 in a single month. This is approximately my monthly budget for podcast hosting, web hosting, email service, and all those other little things that add up. Once I reach that point – I’m having a party and will look forward to putting out some rewards and coming up with some kind of fun goal other than just breaking even.
You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.
—
About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:
If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.
Host Ren Eliza talks about...

Mentioned this episode:
1. YouTube video for this episode
2. How to ADHD Bullet Journaling
3. WheezyWaiter explains what Bullet Journaling ACTUALLY is
4. Printable vertical weekly planner
5. ABCs of Time Management (where you can sign up for the time management 5 day email course with time tracker workbook)
6. Tara’s awesome Obsidian tips
7. Digital/analog planning with Rocketbook
Problem: You need a planner, but they’ve never worked for you in the past and you don’t know what kind of planners are good for your brain
Solution: It’s a myth that certain types of planners only work for neurotypicals and other types work well for all ND people (or even all people with your exact diagnosis.) You need a planner style that addresses your individual struggles and fits your current needs, which may change over time.
Some people with Executive Dysfunction have a hard time with lots of extra bits to do every day, so if this is you, you might want to get a more free-form planner instead of one with lots of trackers and prompts built into the pages, making your planner feel like homework (which you then avoid.) Other people with ExD really love the hand-holding and being told exactly what is supposed to go in which spot, which means a planner with lots of extra blanks and prompts and questions will work great for you!
If you’re not sure which type you are, don’t fret if you choose the wrong type at first! Leaving prompts unanswered is not a problem - cover it up with a sticker if you want. If you need prompts you don’t have, look up some templates so you can write in your own for things like schedule, gratitude, or trackers.
Developing your own planner style isn’t something that is figured out ahead of time so you can stick with it forever. You guess, practice, iterate, practice again, evolve, and just keep going.
Questions to ask first: 1. What size do you want?
- bigger (A5 or up) gives more space, but more space can feel overwhelming
- smaller is easier to carry anywhere - crucial when you’re still learning not to forget your planner
- small spaces serve as a practical limit to how much you can demand of yourself each day
2. Digital or analog (Or both)?
- digital is always with you, but it can be harder to navigate or find things once you’ve forgotten them. There’s also no natural limits to what you keep
- analog is harder (still not impossible) to ignore because it exists physically. Bookmarks and tabs make it easy to find your spot, and you can flip through pages to remind yourself of things you didn’t even remember writing down.
- each has benefits, but many of the perceived strengths of digital are actually weaknesses. If you've been trying digital and just can't figure out why it won't work, give analog a shot even if you really don't think it's right for you
3. Dated or undated?
- dated and laid out pages can be a huge convenience, or a huge guilt trip...

In this Episode: My discord community!
Bullet Journaling with ADHD on Facebook
Problem: Those of us who would love to "just use a planner" - that is, if we could keep it up more than 3 days without losing it or entirely forgetting it even exists.
Solution: Make simply remembering that your planner exists your number 1 priority when you first start using a planner. Just pick it up. Just look at it. Just carry it with you. Do this every day, even if you don't actually make any plans in it!
Specific tips:
Set reminders on your phone, or on post-its around the house, to look at your planner at least once a day.Habit stacking - put your planner near something else that you do every day, like making coffee, changing your socks, or even put it on top of your charging phone, to make it harder to forget.Use a Tile or other tracking device so that you can't lose your planner under the bed or in the couch cushions anymore.
Bonus tip: For the first week or two, give yourself a sticker every day you use your planner. And yes, just picking up the book and putting in the sticker counts.
You can also find me at https://instagram.com/chaotic.organized on Instagram and https://chaoticorganized.com for more executive dysfunction tips and commiseration.
—
Music
Kawai Kitsune by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4990-kawai-kitsune
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
_
About the Ex-Gifted Podcast:
If you are a former gifted kid who grew up to struggle with basic adulting, then you need the Ex-Gifted podcast.
Host Ren Eliza talks about gifted kid burnout, and the damage that lasts long into adulthood. Damage like battered self esteem, decimated internal motivation, and a continued failure to live up to expectations even while we were placed on pedestals and alienated from our peers.
Ex-Gifted will cover failure, procrastination, imposter syndrome, and chronic anxiety and depression, and a whole lot more.
Each episode also offers suggestions to deal with your executive dysfunction in adulthood so you can rebuild the systems that allowed you to shine so brightly in childhood.
We’re making exceptional children into functional adults.
Thanks!