listening SUPERPOWER podcast Raquel Ark

Do you find yourself struggling to navigate through the storms of life, both personally and professionally? It's easy to get lost amidst the distractions and challenges, leaving us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. But there is a way to find clarity amidst the chaos: by listening to the voice of our own intuition and harnessing our inner strength to overcome any obstacle.
Dubbed "the da Vinci of Visionary Leadership" by many leading authorities of our time, Oleg Konovalov is the author of *The Fisherman's Path to Leadership*, *The Vision Code*, *LEADEROLOGY*, *CORPORATE SUPERPOWER*, *ORGANISATIONAL ANATOMY*, and *HIDDEN RUSSIA*. Oleg sees every organization as unique and strongly believes that most leadership problems can be solved by shifting patterned paradigms and applying tailor-made solutions. He is on the Thinkers50 Radar, was shortlisted for the Leadership Award at Thinkers50 2021, is among the Global Gurus Top 30 in Leadership, and is the #1 Global Leading Coach (Marshall Goldsmith Thinkers50).
In this episode, we explore the importance of creating value in business and how energy management often trumps time management. Oleg shares deep insights from his listening experiences and discusses the difference between inspiration and motivation. We also touch on 'cognitive distance' listening within parent-child dynamics, the concept of 'becoming the storm' to face challenges, and the distinction between wisdom and smartness. Join us as we journey through Oleg's wisdom, drawn from his book *The Fisherman's Path to Leadership*, and learn to celebrate moments of understanding and empowerment.
 
"You must listen to yourself first, not to your worries, but listen to your desires. Listen to what you can do. Listen to what you could reveal within your strengths, your superpower. Then you become stronger than this storm that you are facing now." - Oleg Konovalov
SUPERPOWER Notes:
00:44 - That moment he first noticed the power of listening: When you're trying to understand who you are, you are listening to yourself.
04:25 - How valuable is feedback: It's not about what they will get, it's about what they will hear; how they will listen. 
09:02 - A simple approach in life and business that always works for Oleg: Business is about creating value, not solving problems.
11:14 - Deep insights from Oleg's listening experiences
15:48 - Why it is all about energy management and not time management
19:31 - Differentiating inspiration from motivation and getting people to listen to you
23:06 - Understanding 'cognitive distance' listening and tying it to a parent-child relationship
29:59 - What it means to be 'becoming the storm' and not just facing the storm: You are stronger than the challenges that you are facing. 
34:37 - What differentiates being wise from being smart:  Smartness is definitely not a superpower; wisdom is.
35:38 - Valuable nuggets from his book: The Fisherman's Path to Leadership
37:48 - Important questions to ask yourself and the cost of not listening well to yourself
43:10 - Celebrating significant moments of understanding and empowerment in life, regardless of specific dates or occasions.
45:23 - How we see each other's role means how we listen to each other
48:00 - Relevant question to ask of oneself: How to understand that you are really listening
50:20 - Deep thoughts on the idea of growth
Key Takeaways:
"If you are setting up a startup…the best way to find your best niche is to sit and listen to a market." - Oleg Konovalov 
"You're learning to listen when you understand you know nothing." - Oleg Konovalov 
"People that don't know where to go, they're not asking for feedback, they're already lost. But people who are clear where they want to be, they're asking for feedback and listening to it because it's very valuable for them." - Oleg Konovalov 
"It's not a matter of how many things I could do, it's about how good I could do one or two things and putting all my effort, all m

In the workplace, we encounter various personalities, some more challenging than others. Traits like narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy among colleagues or leaders can significantly impact workplace dynamics, leading to conflicts, manipulation, and toxicity within teams. Recognizing and understanding these traits can help you navigate such environments more effectively.
 
Meet our guest, Jon Gruda, a Professor in Organizational Behavior who specializes in anxiety, leadership, and personality research. He discusses how to identify characteristics of the Dark Triad and shares strategies on how to manage interactions with these individuals.
 
Jon Gruda is a lifelong learner with impressive credentials. He holds a PhD in Management from emlyon business school, a Doctorate in Psychology from Goethe University, and an MSc in Affective Neuroscience from Maastricht University, alongside several business and management degrees. Throughout his academic career, Jon has consulted organizational leaders and CEOs, and has taught over 10,000 students and early career executives across Europe.
 
Jon's mission is to advance the understanding of human behavior in organizations, helping individuals and teams achieve their potential and well-being. He has published over 20 papers in peer-reviewed journals and frequently contributes to various media outlets, sharing his expertise with a wider audience.
 
In this episode, we delve into the concept of the Dark Triad. Jon provides valuable insights into recognizing and navigating challenging personality traits such as narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy in the workplace. By shedding light on these traits and their potential impact on organizational dynamics, Jon offers strategies to identify such behaviors and build support networks within your workplace. He also emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and proactive approaches to managing interactions with individuals exhibiting these traits, helping you thrive in complex work environments
"Don't become the person that you don't want to be." - Jon Gruda
SUPERPOWER Notes:
00:32 - That moment he noticed the power of listening: Talking to students and not just teaching, but having conversations.
01:42 - How listening impacts not just the mind but one's whole being
04:52 - One significant moment where a student shared a personal experience which became a driving force to do his work.
11:58 - Understanding the 'Dark Triad': Narcissism, Machiavellianism, Psychopathy
21:50 - How to recognize narcissistic traits in the workplace and get them to listen: Structure team meetings to have a lot more prep time upfront
33:55 - Spotting manipulation and deceit and what you should do: Approach them with clear, logical arguments and past evidence
47:00 - Recognizing a psychopath and how to effectively deal with them
56:25 - Crucial points of concern for organization with individuals having 'dark traits' 
59:00 - Helpful strategies you can employ across all these 'dark traits'
01:05:50 - The idea that everyone exhibits 'dark traits' and understanding that some score higher on these traits than others. 
01:09:50 - What characterizes a machiavellian
01:12 :30 - How to get in touch with Jon
Key Takeaways:
"The only way to listen is to create an environment where people are actually willing to share." - Jon Gruda
"If you want them to go with the decision that you want to make, that you know is the best decision for the team, then you need to highlight how this decision that you want the leader to take is mutually beneficial." - Jon Gruda
"Choosing the right moment when to approach them [psychopath leader]. Look for moments when the leader is particularly receptive to your input, directly following a public success." - Jon Gruda
"I don't necessarily agree with the phrasing, but it does resonate well when you're dealing with psychopaths: Be Machiavellian."- Jon Gruda
"Listen to yourself. " - Jon Gruda
"Pretty goo

It's easy to feel drowned out, overlooked, or even silenced amidst the clamor of opinions and power plays. But what if, amid this chaos, we dared to pause and embrace a far reaching act—the profound power of listening?
Imagine a world where instead of engaging in heated debates, we develop genuine, attentive listening. Not merely hearing words, but understanding the deeper nuances of human interaction and connection, even when on the surface, it seems to be only about the money. 
My guest on your SUPERPOWER listening podcast, Peter Yaholkovsky, has an extensive background in the linguistic foundations of trust and communication, having studied and worked with Dr. Fernando Flores since the 1980's and being certified by the Strozzi Institute as a Master Somatic Coach. Over the past three decades, Peter has coached families and executive teams in building and restoring trust. Prior to his consulting career,  Peter practiced Internal Medicine as a Board Certified Internist after graduating from Stanford University and UC Davis Medical School. His recently published book, Listening for Candor, illuminates a path for trust conversations by building a shared sense of what matters.
Looking back, he sees the through-line is communication -- wrapping around trust as trust wraps around 'what really matters' -- which comes down to commitment and responsibility. He shares examples about how to deal with what matters to you, me, and us together. The question is: how do we build a ‘we’ with substance? 
In this episode, Peter shares how to pause and truly listen, recognizing what truly matters so that “we” can move forward and work together towards shared goals. .
"Possibilities start taking shape, all built from what matters and what's important to pay attention to." - Peter Yaholkovsky 
SUPERPOWER Notes:
02:25 - That moment he noticed the power of listening: In the early eighties when I became engaged with what communication is and the various commitments we make in speaking.
11:38 - What he would tell his younger self now as a medical practitioner back then.
17:18 - How listening interplays with power: Always listen for what matters.
26:16 - Consciously designing conversations: It is helpful to understand the difference between a statement of facts and an interpretation.
28:32 - How to argue with opinions: Find a way to move together into the future.
33:57 - Getting your voice heard amidst power plays: Get everybody lined up with what matters.
37:57 - Big difference between operational versus personal relationship
44:09 - Peter's inspiration to write his book, Listening for Candor
52:21 - Where you can get a copy of 'Listening for Candor'
Key Takeaways:
"Listening is not like an algorithm. It is a discovery of information that then makes a decision going this way or that." - Peter Yaholkovsky
"Listening is connecting with the world,…the aspirations, the possibilities, the constraints of the other, and moving together to orient them for going forward." - Peter Yaholkovsky
"When listening, I'm looking at the interplay of relationships, concerns, engagement, commitment, and what's the underlying overlying big deal, hardly ever spoken -- trust." - Peter Yaholkovsky
"If you're listening for what matters and what matters is I protect myself, or what matters is I'm right. That's not headed for building trust." - Peter Yaholkovsky
"Listening is not just receiving information. Listening is an engagement with the intention of another." - Peter Yaholkovsky
Notes/Mentions:
Listening for Candor: Building Trust in Relationships that Matter by Peter Yaholkovsky: https://www.amazon.com/Listening-Candor-Building-Relationships-Matter-ebook/
Connect with Peter Yaholkovsky:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/peter-yaholkovsky/
Website: https://www.peter-yaholkovsky.com/
  Connect with Raquel Ark:
 
www.listeningalchemy.com
Mobile: + 491732340722
contact@listeningalchemy.com 
Linked

How often do you catch yourself merely waiting for your turn to respond, not really noticing or even caring about what the other person is trying to communicate. This reactive mode of communication often stifles genuine expression, preventing us  from fully emptying our thoughts and emotions. Consequently, a lack of authentic listening extends to various facets of our lives, from family dynamics to professional environments, hindering meaningful connections and triggering misunderstandings.

Author of Better Listening, Stan Slovin has worked over 30 years in the securities industry with individuals, families, and business owners as a financial professional with major national brokerage firms. Stan earned his bachelor of science degree in finance at the Champaign- Urbana campus of the University of Illinois. He also holds a Juris doctorate from the University of Illinois Chicago School of Law. Stan is actively involved in charitable organizations focusing on mental health and children with disabilities. He loves traveling and plays in a rock and roll band. Stan, his wife, and their two adult children are from the Chicago area. 
In this episode, Stan talks about how empathy and genuine engagement can create safe spaces for authentic expression, both in personal relationships and professional environments. And he shares stories on how this paves the  way for more meaningful conversations and discussions.
"When others see that you are listening, not only will they appreciate it but you'll appreciate that they appreciate it and you'll be happier." - Stan Slovin
Listening SUPERPOWER Notes:
00:30 - That moment he noticed the power of listening: I've recognized this my whole life with my parents, at school and in the area of sales and advisory.
01:56 - Stan's aha moment about listening: We are actually listening to respond versus listening to understand.
04:15 - What is so important about leadership: Great leaders are the best listeners.
06:15 - A different approach to listening brought about by change
09:08 - The need to shift from transactional to empathetic listening
14:00 - What helps to improve productivity and retention at work: Leaders have to enable their employees to give feedback.
17:21 - The premise behind the title of his book, 'Better Listening'
20:54 - Life experiences showing how important empathy is in listening
23:57 - What 'emptying of bucket' as a result of empathy all boils down to: Allowing a person to go deeper instead of a surface response.
26:28 - The 'golden ticket question' you can use at work: What is most important to you with regard to a relationship with working with X?
30:24 - What Stan wants to see in a podcast interview and what relationship he wants to have with the host: What's important to me are open-ended questions.
33:12 - A deeper message he wants to share in his book: I want relationships to be better in terms of respect, of being considerate of others.
36:51 - The importance of fostering better relationships through better listening.
40:14 - Stan's most encouraging parting words: We're all good listeners; but we could all be better listeners.
Key Takeaways:
"To be a good leader you have to be a good listener." - Stan Slovin
"Why does a relationship leave? It was that they believed that you were not listening to them. you didn't have their best interest because you weren't hearing what they were saying. You were just always talking." - Stan Slovin
"People are crying to be heard.They want others to listen to them." - Stan Slovin
"Leaders don't have to change everything; they just have to tweak a little bit." - Stan Slovin
"Everyone could be a better listener because what's missing in the conversation is that we're not allowing that empathy piece to really play a key role." - Stan Slovin
"Empathy is key in listening." - Stan Slovin
"They don't have to agree with the person that's talking, but they should at least pause and listen to hear. So that there is mutual r

It's easy to overlook the power of listening to and reflecting on the pulse of the team, encouraging genuine connection and understanding. Before moving ahead towards our goals, why not take a moment to take a pulse of the collective team energy, ensuring alignment and fostering a more empathetic environment? 
 
As the Director of Engineering at Hotjar, Clint Calleja leads the engineering teams for the core features tribes, overseeing the development and delivery of web applications that help over 900,000 websites in 180+ countries understand and improve their user experience. With more than 16 years of experience, he has a proven track record of aligning, inspiring, and enabling others to succeed through communication, coaching, mentoring, and empowerment.
 
He uses a people-first, servant leadership approach and a data-driven, outcome-oriented mindset to guide teams and the organization towards achieving their goals and vision. His mission is to leverage his expertise in web applications, software development, and engineering leadership to create value for Hotjar's customers, employees, and shareholders.
 
In this episode, Clint shares how embracing vulnerability isn't a weakness; it's a strength that deepens bonds and accelerates progress. Working for a remote and fully distributed company, he explains the challenges of written communication and how he listens and aligns understanding. He also shares practical tools he uses to listen to the pulse of his teams that might surprise you. Enjoy this very insightful and practical episode of the listening SUPERPOWER podcast.
 
 “By slowing down, digesting communication, and leading with authenticity, we not only achieve lasting results but also cultivate a more humane and fulfilling experience for all involved."- Clint Calleja
 



SUPERPOWER Notes:
 
00:38 - The moment he first noticed the power of listening: When someone was seeing me as a human being, being part of a team of people rather than just an employee. 
 
02:47 - Important perspective on this idea of 'bringing your whole self to work'
 
05:02 - His approach to leading a team: I listen and I try to navigate between how many solutions I try to provide versus how much coaching and questioning and just nudging.
 
08:18 - Start the day with a simple pulse: We need to start with setting our self expectations.
 
14:07 - It's okay to be vulnerable: The best way I can do that is to be transparent.
 
14:59 - What his younger self needs to know early on as he looks back in hindsight
 
15:53 - A coaching approach he uses to manage multiple teams: I'm going to make myself available, I'll be able to listen, and I'll be able to work with the individual.
 
20:45 - Tools he uses that supports listening even with people working remotely: What I found really helpful is journaling.
 
27:46 - How he organizes the observations he gathers from listening: It has to be quick; it's a simple checklist for tasks and a checklist for observations.
 
33:11 - Perspective on how to approach feedback: It is a mindset change.
 
35:51 - Examples of how he executes his feedback process
 
39:01 - Advice to young generation leaders: I like to personally focus more on growth rather than promotions.
 
45:54 - The challenge to listening to written communication: You don’t have much visibility on the emotion
 
 47:48  - Explaining the concept of JOMO [Joy of Missing Out]
 
49:30 - The wisdom you find in asking question when in doubt
 
52:28 - Clint's significant message: "...that investment overtime accrues to much quicker decision-making, much more empowered people growing into leads..."
 
Key Takeaways:
 
"Before we decide what we are trying to achieve today, before we understand how much time we have on the way, let's start with a simple pulse: green, yellow, or red." - Clint Calleja
 
"I keep reminding myself from time to time that it's okay to be vulnerable, especially wi

Navigating leadership authentically and self-care is not as easy, especially when it seems like everything around you is “crashing down”.  Yet, what if this is an opportunity to find your purpose?   Discover the power of listening in purpose-lead leadership through this thought-provoking podcast episode.
Dive into a reflective conversation about the importance of being present, self-care, purpose, and trusting the process. Explore the journey of a working dad, leadership principles, and the impact of listening on personal and professional growth.
In this episode,you will enjoy listening to how Benjamin ‘Benny’ Achenbach  has navigated the challenges of entrepreneurship.  He shares a story about how he learned to listen to his inner voice amidst a family crisis that wiped his slate clean.  Benny is a sports enthusiast, a proud father of three, and the vice President of People & Culture at Just Spices GmbH .
Benny shares his experience around heart led leadership and decision making. Not only do we talk about fostering inclusive workplace cultures, our conversation transcends business by exploring resilience, self-awareness,  and the pursuit of happiness.  
Enjoy listening in.
"All leaders should be empathetic, and at the same time, capable of at least trying to actively listen” - Benjamin ‘Benny’ Achenbach
 
SUPERPOWER Notes:
01:22 - Raquel and Benny’s post-Wim Hof Expedition chance encounter. Reflecting on a serendipitous meeting that sparked a unique friendship and a transformative journey towards active listening mastery
03:09 - Uncover the power of reflection and connection in anchoring transformative experiences through active listening and shared reflections

06:14 -  Explore the transformative power of active listening in personal growth and communication, leading to deeper connections and understanding in relationships.
10:28 - The backpack method for reflection, delve into the art of active listening and the power of silencing distractions to truly engage and connect with others.
11:57 - Intention setting and reflecting on daily actions, uncover the hidden truths behind common social interactions and the power of active listening in fostering genuine connections.
17:05 - Benny’s  journey to Vice President of People and Culture
20:09 - Overcoming family business challenges
29:04 - The role of reflection and falling forward in business
34:26 - Trusting the process and maintaining positivity
40:29 - Integrating listening into business practices, thoughts on being present, reflecting, and self-care
53:22 - How to connect with the Benjamin Achenbach

Key Takeaways
"Try to be there for yourself because when you are there for yourself, you can also be caring for others."- Benjamin Achenbach
"Reflect about what you're doing every day, every second, every minute, every hour, the entire day, until your entire life is done."- Benjamin Achenbach
“Have a clear North Star for yourself and your team. It's about believing in the vision for the next five to ten years. For us at Just Spices, it's about going international and making cooking easier for our customers. This should be at the forefront of your mind. "- Benjamin Achenbach
on Listening “The more you are in the present moment and appreciate and be grateful for this journey in life, the more magical it can be." - Benjamin Achenbach
Connect with Benjamin Achenbach:
Linkedin: Benjamin Achenbach 
Just Spices Website: https://www.justspices.de/ 
WorkingDad Podcast :https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/working-dad-podcast/id1479570002 
 
Connect with Raquel Ark:
www.listeningalchemy.com
Mobile: + 491732340722
contact@listeningalchemy.com 
LinkedIn
Instagram: @listening_alchemy
Podcast email: listeningsuperpower@gmail.com