About Face Kate Marlene

As a single mom myself I've had to battle the negative stereotypes and stigmas around single motherhood and what happens after a marriage/parenting relationship breaks down. In this episode I am talking with Ruby Russell is a journalist, author, and single mom from London, also living in Berlin, and the author of Doing it All: The Social Power of Single Motherhood. Doing it All is a feminist exploration of single-motherhood, tracing a history through Victorian brothels, welfare rights activism and Black feminist traditions of othermothering. Ruby Russell tells a different story: of motherhood defined not by marriage or men, but as a nexus of solidarity beyond the patriarchal status quo.
A personal quest for empowerment, Doing It All is also a fierce critique of the structures that leave single mums marginalised and exhausted – and a call to reclaim mothering as the life force of sustainable, connected and radically responsible communities.  
In this episode we cover:
Challenging dominant narratives about single-motherhood: “The archetypal single mother used to be the girl who didn’t hold out for a ring on her finger, or the deserted wife who couldn’t hold on to her man. But these days, most of us are women who detonated nuclear families we couldn’t tolerate.” The separation of romantic love and parenting, what happened to our relationships after birth, and what responsibilities fall to mothers, despite any efforts towards egalitarian models of care. The benefits of single motherhood and what ways we could improve communities and policies for single mothers: "Why should mothering without a man be so hard and how might we all do family better?” How 'mothering in capitalism is shit," the relationship between capitalism and the nuclear family and how advancements in feminism have still failed women and particularly mothers. “A woman’s fertility is more powerful than his virility” and the idea of reclaiming of fertility as woman’s power and how it has been eroded through patriarchy. How questioning our dependence on men allows more alternatives to the nuclear family and empowering our choices against patriarchy. The Legal system, which used to give no rights to women, has also stepped in trying to impose a 50/50 model on families, without considering the very different nature of mothering versus fathering. We talk about the “equalizing” imposition of the law and why it strips mothers of their natural rights. Abortion and feminism- how suppressing our fertility is different from asserting power and how to reimagine a feminism that includes motherhood. The Reproductive Justice Movement, and the intersectionality of single-motherhood, black feminism, welfare warriors, and sex workers.   
You can find Ruby Russell and her book online or at your local bookstore. 
Contact Kate Marlene
IG: @katemarleo
TikTok @katemarlene
email: kate@restoryatherapy.com

Somewhere there is a mugshot of me after I got arrested at a house party in Seattle when I was 20. There is also a picture of me graduating law school a few years later. Both of these pictures tell a story, and both are true. But how do I make meaning from these stories and these truths? What do these stories tell me about myself and my life?
In this solo episode, I'm talking about how I have come to understand the power of storytelling, identity, and how we can use narrative in harnessing potential and creating our lives. 
In this episode I cover:
How our stories about self define who we are and who we are becoming The difference between stories and beliefs How narrative helped me heal and improve my sense of self.  How stories shape our beliefs and potential How we can help our kids tell better stories about themselves How to improve the way we see ourselves and the narrative arc of our lives. For more information about sessions, you can reach me at www.restoryatherapy.com
IG: katemarleo
kate@restoryatherapy.com
Join my Patreon for extra content: www.patreon.com/katemarlene

"Just because someone is related, doesn't mean they love you," can be a difficult idea to accept, but recognizing that family relations don't always serve us can be empowering. 
Family estrangement is a taboo topic and those of us who have had to go no contact with famly members never make the decision lightly. Kate speaks with break-up coach and family estrangement expert, Janice Formichella about her own experience severing from the LDS church and the difficult decision to go no contact with toxic family members, including her parents. 
In addition to sharing their own stories of family estrangement, this episode also covers:
Dealing with events, including weddings and funerals Light versions of no-contact Setting boundaries with family members Keeping a record or narrative of events  How family dynamics mirror our relationship with self Academic research and resources on family estrangement  Kate Marlene
IG: @katemarleo
www.restoryatherapy.com
kate@restoryatherapy.com
Janice Formichella
IG: JaniceFormichella
www.breakupspod.com
 
Music: Always on My Mind by Marbert Rocel
 
 

When it comes to texting- I am the worst! I have a history of sending break-up texts, having serious conflicts by text message, and trying to communicate my emotional reactions and needs by text message. 
The thing is- we don't get anywhere by dumping on others through text message. We lose nuance, accountability, and the opportunity for conflict resolution.
In this episode, I talk about my own history of being a bad communicator by text message, how I learned to (eeek!) call instead of text, and some thoughts on the relationship between text messaging, people pleasing, and conflict avoidance.
Texting can go wrong--and fast. Try to make it a practice to avoid serious conversations by text and you will improve your own anxiety around texting as well as your capacity to resolve conflict with your partner, friends, family, and colleagues. 

I started this podcast after my own 'rock bottom' story and recovery journey, really in effort to capture the essence of personal growth and transformation coming out of darkness. But, what if there is no rock bottom? 
What if you simply feel, or hear a voice deep down that tells you ... something isn't right?
'Rock bottom’ stories can be inspiring, they do not always capture the very normative experiences of burnout, feelings of disconnect, and a lack of purpose, particulary at mid-life. And, how do we define mid-life? Could it be, not a number, but rather a point in life to look back, reflect, and create transformation in our next phase?
In this episode, I interviewed author Ben Katt, about his new book, "The Way Home: Discovering the Hero's Journey to Wholeness at Midlife," which captures the personal  transformation of someone who “lost his heart” but not in the most cinematic rock bottom ways we are accustomed to encountering. As he intros his book, there are countless ways to lose your heart, and he offers a guide to find your heart, and your way home. 
Ben Katt is a meditation teacher and spiritual coach. He weaves personal experience, spiritual wisdom, and mythology, following the hero’s journey to inspire a path from isolation to belonging, securtity to surrender and conformity to wildness. 
Kate Marlene
IG: @katemarleo
www.restoryatherapy.com
 
Ben Katt 
IG: @akabenkatt
www.benjaminkatt.com
 
 
 
 
 
 

I wanted to share a difficulty that I have been struggling with the last month and how I was able to manage some hard, even shameful emotions that came up for me. When my kids' father got sick and ended up in the hospital for the last month I had to accept my new role as a single mom, without the help of a co-parent.
In this episode I discuss the stages of grief I went through, including some anger and resentment that I was not proud of. I also discuss the shift I was able to make from fear and anger towards service, an old recovery tool that helped give me perspective on my loss and how I can focus my attention on the needs of others. 
Email me at kate@restoryatherapy.com
For more about my narrative work and to work with me: www.restoryatherapy.com
Art, exhibitions, and products: www.katemarlene.com
Facebook: Kate Marlene/Restorya
IG: @katemarleo