27 min
#159 Working with Feelings of Self Doubt and Inadequacy? Ditch Comparing Yourself to Others. Marta On The Move Podcast- Hosted by Marta Napoleone Mazzoni
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- Places & Travel
This is a subject I have avoided writing or speaking about. I think this avoidance was unconscious, but I am now highly aware of it. I am aware of it because at many a time in my life I have suffered from self doubt, imposter syndrome (I didn't even know that existed until two years ago), and confidence issues.
This month is particularly bad for me. I could not understand why I would awaken to dread and sadness. I felt on many days no motivation at all. I know I am still healing from grief, but it was more than that. Something was nagging at me, and I realized it was my own self doubt.
I have my sailing retreats coming up, and I am excited for them, but there is still availability for my June one. The fact that I have spots available make me feel bad about myself. "You are a failure."Another hit was a I post I put out called How To Build Your Own Toolbox, and it didn't gain much traction. "People don't care, maybe you should give up the podcast." I asked a question on Facebook and received lack luster responses. "Maybe people are annoyed with me?"
As these feelings of self doubt were bubbling within me, I saw a post from a girl who had 30,000 likes about candles of all things. I heard about a friend that is having much success hosting her own retreat.
I was seeing so much happiness online, so much success of others, that it had me questioning my own.
Now, let me pause here and say that maybe deep down I know I am enough, I KNOW I am making progress in my life. I know I am in such a better place than a year ago or even a day ago. I know I have so much love, success, and joy surrounding me.
Even then, folks... I was/am comparing myself to others, and it got the better of me.
People believe what they see. We don't know about the struggles human's face. We don't know how much it took them to announce something on the internet, or how they feel when they are offline. We don't know their loneliness or feelings of doubt. We just see the facade.
We now live in a high success/high reward culture. It is not our fault for having these feelings of inadequacy. I swear the internet is made to make you feel inadequate, so don't feel bad.
The real question is? How do we stop feeling this way? What steps can we take to feel confident, radiant, more creative, and the freakin unicorn that we are?!
"Don't compare your life to others. There is no comparison between the Sun and the Moon. They shine when it's their time."
The moment we start comparing our lives to others, we begin to feel doubt, and uncertainty, that can lead to depression, sadness, and lack of confidence.
This is the reason I wanted to be a little vulnerable here on my show with this episode. I am not immune! I get mopey and down. I feel like I am not doing enough. I haven't succeeded enough. I haven't helped people enough. I feel this so often. The struggle is real, and I know there are many others that feel the same as I do.
So what do we do when these feeling arise?
Here are some suggestions when you feel down and find yourself in the comparison game.
Shut down your internet. Take a break from doom scrolling by placing some restrictions on the amount of time you are online. Or tell the online world you are taking a week off. Being off the sauce will help you get a clear headed mind and show you the only person you are in comparison with... is yourself. More on that later. Take a long walk in nature- I am an avid believer of walking to shake off the blues, and a little fresh air will have you thinking more clearly. Look up and see the sky and know you are enough. Listen to some self growth podcasts or motivational speeches- Anything you can do to pull yourself out of doubt and into confidence is a win, and there are so many resources out there to use the internet for good. Take a shower and dress up- Really, Marta? Yes! This simple trick will have you feeling better in no time. Dressing up doesn't have to mean putting on your nicest suit or ball gown. These day
This is a subject I have avoided writing or speaking about. I think this avoidance was unconscious, but I am now highly aware of it. I am aware of it because at many a time in my life I have suffered from self doubt, imposter syndrome (I didn't even know that existed until two years ago), and confidence issues.
This month is particularly bad for me. I could not understand why I would awaken to dread and sadness. I felt on many days no motivation at all. I know I am still healing from grief, but it was more than that. Something was nagging at me, and I realized it was my own self doubt.
I have my sailing retreats coming up, and I am excited for them, but there is still availability for my June one. The fact that I have spots available make me feel bad about myself. "You are a failure."Another hit was a I post I put out called How To Build Your Own Toolbox, and it didn't gain much traction. "People don't care, maybe you should give up the podcast." I asked a question on Facebook and received lack luster responses. "Maybe people are annoyed with me?"
As these feelings of self doubt were bubbling within me, I saw a post from a girl who had 30,000 likes about candles of all things. I heard about a friend that is having much success hosting her own retreat.
I was seeing so much happiness online, so much success of others, that it had me questioning my own.
Now, let me pause here and say that maybe deep down I know I am enough, I KNOW I am making progress in my life. I know I am in such a better place than a year ago or even a day ago. I know I have so much love, success, and joy surrounding me.
Even then, folks... I was/am comparing myself to others, and it got the better of me.
People believe what they see. We don't know about the struggles human's face. We don't know how much it took them to announce something on the internet, or how they feel when they are offline. We don't know their loneliness or feelings of doubt. We just see the facade.
We now live in a high success/high reward culture. It is not our fault for having these feelings of inadequacy. I swear the internet is made to make you feel inadequate, so don't feel bad.
The real question is? How do we stop feeling this way? What steps can we take to feel confident, radiant, more creative, and the freakin unicorn that we are?!
"Don't compare your life to others. There is no comparison between the Sun and the Moon. They shine when it's their time."
The moment we start comparing our lives to others, we begin to feel doubt, and uncertainty, that can lead to depression, sadness, and lack of confidence.
This is the reason I wanted to be a little vulnerable here on my show with this episode. I am not immune! I get mopey and down. I feel like I am not doing enough. I haven't succeeded enough. I haven't helped people enough. I feel this so often. The struggle is real, and I know there are many others that feel the same as I do.
So what do we do when these feeling arise?
Here are some suggestions when you feel down and find yourself in the comparison game.
Shut down your internet. Take a break from doom scrolling by placing some restrictions on the amount of time you are online. Or tell the online world you are taking a week off. Being off the sauce will help you get a clear headed mind and show you the only person you are in comparison with... is yourself. More on that later. Take a long walk in nature- I am an avid believer of walking to shake off the blues, and a little fresh air will have you thinking more clearly. Look up and see the sky and know you are enough. Listen to some self growth podcasts or motivational speeches- Anything you can do to pull yourself out of doubt and into confidence is a win, and there are so many resources out there to use the internet for good. Take a shower and dress up- Really, Marta? Yes! This simple trick will have you feeling better in no time. Dressing up doesn't have to mean putting on your nicest suit or ball gown. These day
27 min