31 min
61. Overcame Porn Addiction But Why Is My Wife Still Not Happy? Secret Habit
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- Christianity
Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:
1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: https://secrethabit.ca/call/
2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/
3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing
How do I make my wife feel safe again after my porn addiction? This is a question that has been asked by men over the years. Women are not happy because they are not safe, and they will never feel safe until you make them feel like they can trust you again. The safety element is kind of a building block in building trust, and it’s a foundational element that must be in place before you can really start to rebuild the trust between you.
In this episode, Helena and Shawn Bonneteau are going to help you understand the do's and don't s of how to make your wife feel safe again. Helena will give you some practical steps that you can take to rebuild trust with your wife and help her to feel safe again while on your journey to overcoming masturbation and porn addiction.
Many men think that they already know what their wives need from them and they think going to meetings, and calling their sponsors makes her feel safe. But it's not that simple. Sobriety isn't the end goal, as you will learn here.
Here you will quickly learn:
When you're in sobriety, you have to keep on doing the things that make your wife feel safe.
Not doing things isn't changing and sobriety from behavior change doesn't equal trust
Sobriety in itself isn't the solution, being more like Christ is... Changing from the inside is.
Recovery's not doing things, it's changing. Changing is an integral part of us
How to define what is safe and what is safe and what restores safety.
Being busy with recovery leads to tiredness, irritability, and grumpiness which translates to being unsafe for your wife
Wife watches who you are more than what you do
What is safe?
Wife seeing husband growing with God, seeking integrity
Having curiosity and asking for clarity and help. (What do you need right now? What would make you feel safe? What would make you feel this is rebuilding trust?)
Expressing a willingness and desire to change/heal
Taking ownership, apologizing, seeking to reconcile
What is unsafe?
Assuming you know what she wants, needs and likes
Breaking boundaries without respecting them
Abdicating leadership and role as man and leader; Being passive-aggressive, avoiding conflict and tension.
Not fulfilling your God-given role of protector and provider.
This episode is ultimately all about finding out what your wife wants and likes which helps remove the assumptions that bring marriage struggles between couples. Learning each other's boundaries and how to respect each other boundaries is a big part of what helps build trust in a relationship. When you respect each other's boundaries, it shows that you care about them and their feelings. If you're wondering how to rebuild trust with your wife after masturbation and porn addiction (and make her feel safe and happy), then this episode will help get started on the right path.
Ready to heal from Betrayal Trauma?
Grab the "Beneath The Skin" video course for only $49 cdn
Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:
1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: https://secrethabit.ca/call/
2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/
3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing
Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:
1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: https://secrethabit.ca/call/
2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/
3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing
How do I make my wife feel safe again after my porn addiction? This is a question that has been asked by men over the years. Women are not happy because they are not safe, and they will never feel safe until you make them feel like they can trust you again. The safety element is kind of a building block in building trust, and it’s a foundational element that must be in place before you can really start to rebuild the trust between you.
In this episode, Helena and Shawn Bonneteau are going to help you understand the do's and don't s of how to make your wife feel safe again. Helena will give you some practical steps that you can take to rebuild trust with your wife and help her to feel safe again while on your journey to overcoming masturbation and porn addiction.
Many men think that they already know what their wives need from them and they think going to meetings, and calling their sponsors makes her feel safe. But it's not that simple. Sobriety isn't the end goal, as you will learn here.
Here you will quickly learn:
When you're in sobriety, you have to keep on doing the things that make your wife feel safe.
Not doing things isn't changing and sobriety from behavior change doesn't equal trust
Sobriety in itself isn't the solution, being more like Christ is... Changing from the inside is.
Recovery's not doing things, it's changing. Changing is an integral part of us
How to define what is safe and what is safe and what restores safety.
Being busy with recovery leads to tiredness, irritability, and grumpiness which translates to being unsafe for your wife
Wife watches who you are more than what you do
What is safe?
Wife seeing husband growing with God, seeking integrity
Having curiosity and asking for clarity and help. (What do you need right now? What would make you feel safe? What would make you feel this is rebuilding trust?)
Expressing a willingness and desire to change/heal
Taking ownership, apologizing, seeking to reconcile
What is unsafe?
Assuming you know what she wants, needs and likes
Breaking boundaries without respecting them
Abdicating leadership and role as man and leader; Being passive-aggressive, avoiding conflict and tension.
Not fulfilling your God-given role of protector and provider.
This episode is ultimately all about finding out what your wife wants and likes which helps remove the assumptions that bring marriage struggles between couples. Learning each other's boundaries and how to respect each other boundaries is a big part of what helps build trust in a relationship. When you respect each other's boundaries, it shows that you care about them and their feelings. If you're wondering how to rebuild trust with your wife after masturbation and porn addiction (and make her feel safe and happy), then this episode will help get started on the right path.
Ready to heal from Betrayal Trauma?
Grab the "Beneath The Skin" video course for only $49 cdn
Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:
1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: https://secrethabit.ca/call/
2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/
3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing
31 min