Being On the Same Page Become A Calm Mama

I’m often asked, “How do you handle it when your husband or your coparent isn't on board?” or, “How do you handle it when you're divorced and you don't know what's going on with the other parent?”
In this first episode of a two-part series, I’ll start answering these questions and share some essential conversations to have with your coparent.
You’ll Learn:
Why I know your kid is going to be okay.How to determine if you and your coparent are on the same page (and where to start if you’re not). Essential conversations for before, during and after explosive incidents - with scripts!Using the “hard no” with other adults.
The parenting you're doing is not in vain if your co parent isn't on board. Your child's other parent isn't unraveling all of your hard work. What you are doing is not pointless. You can give your child everything they need to grow into an emotionally healthy adult.
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The Real QuestionThe real question at the root of these concerns is, “Is my kid going to be okay if my coparent doesn’t practice compassionate parenting?”
There is fear of what will happen in the future if your coparent is harsh, too permissive or just on a different page when it comes to parenting your kid. 
But what does it really mean to be okay? The way I think about this in my programs is that we are setting our kids up for success by teaching emotional literacy - knowing what they’re feeling, how to talk about it and what to do with it. 
This is the key to raising kids that are confident, self-aware and love themselves. 
No matter what happens in your child's life, there's going to be pain and struggle. Things won’t always go their way. 
In the long-term, when they know how to process that pain, they can handle anything. You’re giving your kid the resilience that they need for the future. 
 
Being On the Same PageFor our purposes, being on the same page means two things:  
You and your coparent agree on the same parenting philosophy. In this case, that means agreeing that compassion and helping your child process negative emotion are important to you. You share the same approach to the philosophy. You’re using the same strategies and tools. 
For example, compassionate parenting is a philosophy. The Calm Mama Process of calm, connect, limit set, correct is the approach. 
A beautiful place to start is by asking your coparent (whether you live with them or not) what they value when it comes to parenting. 
You can start the conversation by saying something like, “I'm learning a lot, and I want to make sure that you're on the same page with me. I believe that feelings matter and that it's important for our kids to have a safe place to express those feelings and learn how to deal with them. Do agree?”
 
When You Aren’t On the Same PageI know that you want to have a good relationship with your child, and you want them to have a good relationship with themselves and with the world. You get to decide how you show up. You can put in the work to make sure your relationship is connected and loving. 
Your coparent also has a relationship with your kid, and it’s their job to decide how they want that relationship to play out and take action to create the relationship they want. 
It is not your responsibility to preserve your child’s relationship with their other parent. Ultimately, your responsibility is only to the emotional health of your child. 
If you’re struggling with your coparent, look at where the disagreement is. Is it about the philosophy or the approach?
Maybe you agree on the philosophy,...