Become A Calm Mama

Darlynn Childress
  • 5.0 (28)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY
Become A Calm Mama

Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be. Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what it’s really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century. Over the past 15 years, Darlynn has dedicated her life to becoming the mom she wanted to be for my kids. In that process, she created a parenting model called “The Calm Mama Process” that helped her navigate every tricky parenting moment that’s been thrown her way. From hitting to bullying, from toddler meltdowns to teenage shenanigans, from missing assignments to college admissions, from getting kids to bed to getting kids out of bed, from kids not wanting to get out of the bath to middle schoolers that don’t want to take a shower, from kids fighting in the car to kids who drive their own car, she’s seen it all. Darlynn has taught her model to hundreds of moms since 2015 and when they apply the Calm Mama Process to their tricky parenting moments they have calm and peace in their homes. Their kids' behavior improves, their relationship with their children gets so much better, and they enjoy motherhood (most of the time!). Darlynn teaches her process inside her coaching program, The Emotionally Healthy Kids course, where you learn how to master your reactivity, teach kids how to manage their big feelings, and set limits that work. Each week she brings practical and simple strategies to the podcast so you can stop yelling and create a peaceful home.

  1. 23H AGO

    Tips for Raising Teen & Tween Girls with Girls Mentorship (pt 2)

    Jill and Mary of Girls Mentorship are back! We’re continuing our conversation and talking about specific tools and strategies for supporting and raising teen and tween girls. (If you missed part 1, be sure to check it out.) And even though Jill and Mary focus their work on girls, these are great tips no matter the gender of your child. You’ll Learn: The pitfalls of labeling all negative interactions as "bullying"Times when your daughter might need extra support4 tips for raising teen & tween girlsSimple talking points for digital safety & responsibility Join us as we dive into which situations might require a little extra support for your daughter, strategies for supporting your teen or tween girl, and other resources that can help. ----------------------------------------- Why Parents Seek Support A lot of people are resistant to needing help outside of the household. It truly takes a village, and it is okay to have a community of people to raise your children. It doesn't need to be one person at a time, and getting support doesn't say anything negative about your parenting. In fact, seeking out services shows that you care about your child’s wellbeing and success - not just on paper, but in life.  It’s normal to notice changes in your kid in the teen and tween years. They’re going to spend more time in their room. They might roll their eyes or slam the door a little more. These things are somewhat expected. So how do you know when you and your daughter might need a little extra help? Jill says that transitional periods are often when parents seek out their coaching and mentoring services. For example, the jump from elementary to middle school or middle school to high school. During these times, parents often want to make sure their kids have the skills to handle themselves in these new environments.  And Mary adds that these transitions are even more challenging when there’s friend drama involved (also super common at this age). We’re talking cattiness, gossip, backstabbing, being left out, etc.  She says, “As parents, we expect our kids to understand how to navigate social situations or what to do at certain chapters of their life, and that's simply not true. We have to be able to teach them these things for them to be able to understand and know them. On the other side of that, we have to give them space to practice and not jump in to try to solve.” A certain amount of conflict is a normal part of life. Arguments with friends, make-ups, break-ups, and even name-calling are a part of growing up. These situations give our kids a chance to learn how to work through conflict in a healthy way.  Finally, parents seek out Mary and Jill’s support when they are in an emergency situation - their child is severely depressed, maybe even having suicidal ideations - and nothing else has worked.  Friendship issues, disordered eating, conflict, isolation, or pulling back from activities they used to love are all issues that Mary and Jill see a lot of in their coaching practice and programs. Their ultimate goal? To help girls become the brightest, most authentic versions of themselves.    Tips for Raising Teen & Tween GirlsThings like self-awareness, conflict resolution, and emotional health are all skills that can be learned. And learning them at a young age sets girls up for better experiences now and as an adult. In our society, we’ve lost places where kids are mentored and get the opportunity to learn and practice these skills. Schools are not equipped to do this work (nor should they)....

    51 min
  2. Estrogen Crash [Confessions]

    2D AGO · BONUS

    Estrogen Crash [Confessions]

    Why do women in mid-life give less f*cks? It's all about the estrogen crash. On this episode Darlynn and her friend Jennifer Delliquadri talk all about how estrogen plays a role in why moms are biologically wired to worry about their kids and the profound shift that happens when our estrogen crashes. Plus, you'll hear how Darlynn spiraled deep into a "I'm not good enough" self-worth crisis and how she used Radical Self Love to get herself out.

    22 min

  3. APR 10

    Raising Teen & Tween Girls with Girls Mentorship (pt 1)

    Today on the podcast, I’m joined by Jill and Mary, founders of Girls Mentorship. We’re diving into what teen and tween girls need and what they’re going through at this stage of life.  You’ll Learn: What makes teen & tween girls so awesome!Benefits and pitfalls of greater emotional awareness in this generation of kidsHow small shifts can make a big difference in identity and self-esteem5 ways to support the tween or teen girls in your life Listen in for tools to start helping your teen or tween daughter with her confidence, self-esteem, and emotional health. -------------------------------------- Today on the podcast, I’m joined by Jill and Mary, founders of Girls Mentorship. We had so much to talk about, we had to make it two episodes so you could get ALL the goodness out of our conversation. In this episode, we’re diving into what teen and tween girls need and what they’re going through at this stage of life. Next week, you’ll learn what you, as a parent, can do to support them. Jill and Mary are the founders of Girls Mentorship. They say, “Everywhere we looked, we saw girls struggling—grappling with confidence issues, battling negative self-talk, wrestling with poor self-image, and navigating the tricky waters of anxiety and depression. It hit close to home. Hadn’t we been in those exact same shoes 20 years ago?”  Girls were STILL missing the vital tools to rise about these challenges. So Jill and Mary decided to become the guides they wished they’d had - offering young girls the skills and support to build confidence, resilience, and self-worth. They now teach life and personal development skills to tween and teen girls so that they can become the brightest, most authentic versions of themselves. Life As A Tween GirlWith all the conversation about kids and anxiety and how much girls are struggling, it’s easy to forget about the beauty of this age.  Mary shares that girls this age speak their mind. They’re curious. They make you question things, and you get to learn from their questions, too. They’re experiencing all the firsts, and it’s really fun to walk that path with them and see their eyes get really big when they understand a concept for the first time or realize that they're not alone in what they're struggling with. Jill says they’re also hilarious, creative, and talented. They have access to so much information that if they’re curious about something, they will just go and seek it out.  And with a lot more awareness of mental health in today’s culture, these girls are genuinely curious about it. When they experience anxiety or other feelings, they now have words to articulate and express themselves, which leads to really rich conversations.    Mary says that when you’re talking about girls ages 10 through the teen years, the distinction between tween and teen isn’t all that big. She says, “the conversation doesn't really change much, neither does what the girls in particular are struggling with.” The differences come up in their maturity level, experiences, and what topics they’ve been exposed to.    Challenges for ParentsNo matter how old your kids are, you know that each stage comes with it’s own unique challenges. Two that we see come up most often are generational differences in the ways we talk about and deal with emotions and how the way we define success for ourselves can trickle down to our kids…whether we want it to or not.   Expressing Emotion - The Generation Gap We all agree that we’ve seen a shift in the way people express emotions from our parents’ generations to now.  Gen X parents wanted to act like everything was fine. Stuff the feelings down, and pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  Now the...

    40 min

  4. APR 3

    Simplifying Family Life with Jessica Etting

    Today, I've invited Jessica Koosed Etting onto the podcast for a conversation about family life, the mental load on moms, and how we can make things a little bit simpler and easier.  You’ll Learn: Why motherhood feels so overwhelming (it’s not just you!)Why your own parents might not be able to relate to your mental loadHow to reduce your mental load, involve your family, and feel more calm While perfection is impossible, there are ways to be more proactive and organized, so that we feel a little less pressure, stress, and overwhelm. --------------------------------------------- Jessica Koosed Etting is the co-founder and CEO of Jam, a pioneering family calendar app designed to dismantle mental load and make family life more efficient and equitable. She’s also a mom of 3 boys, ages 10-14.    The Mental Load on MomsYou know the scenario… You drive your kid to soccer (or whatever activity you’re going to) and get there only to realize they’re missing some important piece of gear or equipment. You get frustrated with yourself, your partner, or your kid, and you dump your emotions on them (i.e. yelling, arguing, blaming). Then, you get out of the car and pretend like everything’s fine, even though you know it was just a total shitshow. There’s this bit of shame or embarrassment that you forgot something, that you made a mistake.  As moms, there is a LOT coming at us - appointments, kids’ activities, assignments, shopping lists, to-dos, and all the expectations that come with them. In the digital age of parenting, information comes at you constantly from a ton of different sources. You’re getting emails (maybe from multiple schools), notifications from WhatsApp or other group messaging apps, text messages, and trying to keep it all straight. And because people are so connected, plans can be changed very quickly (and often!). It’s easy to look around and think that something’s wrong with you because you can’t seem to hold it all together. But it’s not just you. You’re not going crazy, and you’re not just a hot mess.  Motherhood is overwhelming. Information keeps coming at us, faster than we can process it. And we put so much pressure on ourselves to get it all right, all the time (aka perfectionism).  In case you aren’t familiar with the term mental load, it’s basically that ticker tape that’s constantly running through your head. It’s all the schedules, to-do lists, the things that everybody needs. The “what’s next?” that never seems to end. You’re carrying all the things that keep your family running inside your own brain. Jessica shares that, according to research, moms typically carry 90% more of this mental load than their male partners. It takes its toll, leading to stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout.  And it affects our relationships, too. You can’t be truly present with your kids, partner, or friends when your brain is constantly working. It’s like you can never turn it off and recharge. Plus, when you’re feeling stressed and anxious, you’re more likely to snap at the people you love.  In short, you get dysregulated. You can’t find that calm, connected place.   Simplifying Family LifeAs we talk about strategies to manage complex family life, keep in mind that a little grace and compassion for yourself goes a really long way, too. While perfection is impossible, there are ways to be more proactive and organized, so that we feel a little less of that pressure, stress, and overwhelm. Jessica and her sister, Amanda, created the Jam app to help with managing the mental load in a few ways:   Take...

    45 min

  5. MAR 27

    Radical Action (Part 6 of the How To Heal series)

    Over the past 5 weeks, I’ve walked you through the hierarchy of healing and how to go through the phases of healing I call radical self-love, self-trust, honesty, listening, and acceptance. Today, we finish the series with radical action - the part where we DO the things that actually improve our lives and create the lives that we want. You’ll Learn: How to hold both contentment and a desire for changeThe 3 types of action (and which is best)How to chase the glimmers in your lifeA surefire way to know if you’re taking the right actions5 enemies of aligned radical action and how to overcome them Radical action doesn’t have to be big. In fact, sometimes a lot of the big actions in life start with really small changes. In this episode, I’ll show you how to figure out what you ought to be doing and how to overcome the obstacles that come up along the way.  ---------------------------------------------- I also want you to keep in mind that any action you take must be rooted in radical self-love. This isn’t meant to be some giant checklist you now have to do. If all you ever do is learn to fall deeper and deeper in love with yourself, you have already won.    Taking Radical ActionRadical action is about making a commitment to changing an area of your life where you are not satisfied.  This typically happens in three areas: Your relationship with yourselfYour relationship with othersYour relationship with the outside world The first part of action is simply committing to the change you want. Then, you decide which actions will support your goal and commit to those, as well. Let’s take a closer look at these 3 relationships. Your relationship with yourself. This includes your mental health and the way you talk to yourself. It is internal. If you're feeling anxious, depressed, directionless, or trapped and you don't have contentment, then this is something that you might want to work on. You might decide that you want to improve your mental health, experience more meaning or purpose in your life, or commit to your own peace and contentment.  Your relationships with others. Maybe your marriage isn't working, or the way you're parenting your kids isn't working. Maybe you have some toxic friendships or some family conflicts.  Your goal might be something like, “I want to have a happy marriage,” “I want to be a more calm parent,” or “I am committed to setting better boundaries with my in-laws.” Your relationship with the outside world. This includes how you contribute to the world and how you feel in the world. This can also encompass your relationship with time, money, your environment, etc.  If your home is messy, cluttered, and it’s driving you crazy, let’s take radical action to make your home function better for you. If you are constantly stressed and overwhelmed about money, you can commit to finding peace around your finances and managing your money in a healthy way.    Step 1: Define the change you wantWe can’t create the lives we want unless we know what we want, right? So the...

    39 min

  6. MAR 20

    Radical Acceptance (Part 5 of the How To Heal series)

    When we set out to create positive change and healing in our lives, those actions must come from a place of love and trust in ourselves. The key is practicing radical acceptance of ourselves and our circumstances.  In this episode, you’ll learn: Why we struggle to accept realityThe truth about acceptance and taking actionReal life examples of challenging circumstances and how we can be more accepting of them4 steps to practice radical acceptance The faster you can accept the hard things in life as reality, the faster you will be able to get into action and take the next right step. ------------------------------------------- As you move through your healing journey, you may have experienced times when you made a decision to change something in your life. You made a checklist or a set of rules to follow, but then you didn’t end up making as much progress as you wanted. You thought you just must not be good at healing or taking control of your life, so you gave up. Often, this happens because your actions are rooted in shame, guilt, buffering, or trying to avoid pain. To make positive change, you have to come from a positive place. This starts with our previous steps of radical self-love, self-trust, honesty, and listening.  The next step in the hierarchy of healing is to accept where you are, accept your current circumstances.    Radical AcceptanceAcceptance is the idea that you are okay with what’s happening in the present moment. You don’t need to judge the moment or your behavior. It’s saying, “This is the way things are right now and that's okay.” We’re often afraid to fully accept our circumstances because we think that if we’re okay with how things are, it implies that we don’t care. That we’re powerless, defeated, and we’ll never take action to improve or grow. But the opposite is true. Acceptance is not about excusing yourself from responsibility or giving up. In fact, the faster you accept your current reality, the easier it will be for your nervous system to calm down and to problem solve. It will be easier for you to show compassion to yourself and get into action. It reminds me of the Buddhist saying that “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” There are facts, and there are our interpretations of the facts. Often, it’s what we make things mean that hurts us the most. And it is entirely unnecessary.  Imagine that you’re sitting in horrible traffic. It’s unpleasant and uncomfortable to be sitting there waiting for so long. But when you become frustrated, angry, and try to resist it, that’s where suffering comes in. You are adding more pain to the moment. Instead, you can choose to accept that there is always a lot of traffic on that particular road, you plan for it, and take different actions (e.g. driving a different route or leaving earlier).  When we struggle because we believe something should be different from how it is, we’re fighting reality. When we resist our feelings, ourselves, and our experience, we create suffering. Acceptance is going with the flow, and it’s what you see in people that seem to be at peace, even when things are chaotic.    Accepting Other People’s BehaviorRadical acceptance applies to other people’s behavior, as well. Maybe your spouse or partner committed to doing something and didn’t follow through. Or your kids are misbehaving. You can choose to accept that they are acting the way they’re acting.  Of course, as parents, we also have a responsibility to teach our kids better ways to behave, manage their feelings, get their needs met, and demonstrate their emotions. So, we do have to take action (more on that next week).  For example, you’re going...

    36 min
  7. Getting Sober [Confessions]

    MAR 18 · BONUS

    Getting Sober [Confessions]

    My healing journey began as a 19 year old, wandering drunk and alone on a beach in San Felipe, Mexico. This is the story of my first attempt at healing and what I learned early on.

    52 min

  8. MAR 13

    Radical Listening (Part 4 of the How To Heal series)

    Welcome to part 4 of the How To Heal series. In this episode about radical listening, you’ll learn strategies for listening more carefully and trusting your intuition and inner wisdom so that you can build a better relationship with your core self. You’ll Learn: How to practice radical listening with compassion The 4 parts within you that you are listening toExamples of patterns that might not be serving you5 steps to radical listening and a deeper understanding of yourself The closer you move to your authentic, core self, the more content you will feel. This truest version of you feels peace no matter what is happening.  ------------------------------------- Healing is really about wanting to feel better. To feel freedom, joy, gratitude, peace, safety, and calm. To be kinder to yourself, become a good friend to yourself, notice your patterns, and make small changes to influence them. Those are our goals here. As my mentor, Martha Beck, says, “Your true nature, the part of you that always remembers what it is meant to be and never stops trying to be what it is, no matter what happens to her. Your birthright is to feel peace and joy and gratitude and love. And in your core, you carry all of that.”   Radical ListeningThe goal of radical listening is to find your inner guidance to move away from the patterns that you've created to protect you from pain and toward new patterns that help you get what you actually want.  We all have patterns in ways that we think, feel, and act. We need to look at them and ask ourselves where they’re coming from. Are you trying to avoid pain? Are these patterns protecting you, or are they sabotaging you because you don’t think you’re worthy of feeling freedom, love, peace, and joy?  The statements we’re working with as we learn to radically listen are: I will listen to my needs and wants and see those as valid and important. I will listen to my intuition and trust my inner wisdom.   Who Are You Listening To?When you practice radical listening, you are having a conversation with yourself. But who are you talking to? In his book No Bad Parts, Richard Schwartz outlines four parts that live within each of us:   Your Inner Child You may have wounds or patterns that you developed in childhood. These were really important to you as a kid, but they might not be necessary now. These wounds are often based on attachment or authenticity.  Perhaps you were conditioned in childhood to believe that you don’t matter or that your needs aren’t important. Or your need for security and attachment wasn’t met, so you didn’t feel safe. You may have been told all sorts of negative things about yourself. Or you were taught that you had to look or perform a certain way in order to be loved, valued, and accepted.  For example, I grew up in a household where it often felt like there wasn’t a grown up. As a result, I developed patterns of hypervigilance, overthinking, overplanning, overstructuring, and then getting easily dysregulated when things weren't going to my plan. Now that I am the adult, I’ve had to teach myself (and my inner child) that I am safe. The grown-ups are here. Were you taught that your value depended on your grades, performance in sports, or how nice you were? Did you hear that you were dumb, ugly, mean, selfish, lazy, rude, or a problem? What messages did you hear in childhood that you might still be acting out today?  Maybe it’s time to look at those messages and examine them. Where’s the evidence?    Your Pain Our wounds and patterns can also come from culture - religion,...

    38 min
See All (176)

Trailer

5
out of 5
28 Ratings

About

Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be. Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what it’s really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century. Over the past 15 years, Darlynn has dedicated her life to becoming the mom she wanted to be for my kids. In that process, she created a parenting model called “The Calm Mama Process” that helped her navigate every tricky parenting moment that’s been thrown her way. From hitting to bullying, from toddler meltdowns to teenage shenanigans, from missing assignments to college admissions, from getting kids to bed to getting kids out of bed, from kids not wanting to get out of the bath to middle schoolers that don’t want to take a shower, from kids fighting in the car to kids who drive their own car, she’s seen it all. Darlynn has taught her model to hundreds of moms since 2015 and when they apply the Calm Mama Process to their tricky parenting moments they have calm and peace in their homes. Their kids' behavior improves, their relationship with their children gets so much better, and they enjoy motherhood (most of the time!). Darlynn teaches her process inside her coaching program, The Emotionally Healthy Kids course, where you learn how to master your reactivity, teach kids how to manage their big feelings, and set limits that work. Each week she brings practical and simple strategies to the podcast so you can stop yelling and create a peaceful home.

Information

  • Creator
    Darlynn Childress
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2025
  • Episodes
    176
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2025 Darlynn Childress
  • Show Website
    Become A Calm Mama

You Might Also Like

To listen to explicit episodes, sign in.

Stay up to date with this show

Sign in or sign up to follow shows, save episodes, and get the latest updates.
Select a country or region

Africa, Middle East, and India

Asia Pacific

Europe

Latin America and the Caribbean

The United States and Canada