460 episodes

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess.

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo Christian Parenting

    • Kids & Family
    • 4.9 • 737 Ratings

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess.

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

    How to teach your kids about hard topics - from diversity to bullying to loneliness With Trillia Newbell

    How to teach your kids about hard topics - from diversity to bullying to loneliness With Trillia Newbell

    Do you ever get overwhelmed with how to talk to your young kids about hard topics? I have been there. And sometimes, I actually disengage or ignore important topics because it feels too hard. I don’t want to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

    Diversity is one of those topics that matters. It matters to God and it matters to me. Trillia Newbell is the perfect guest for this conversation. She was looking for a resource to guide her discussions with our own kids and couldn’t find it. So, she wrote “God’s Very Good Idea” to center the discussion of diversity around the gospel. 

    In this chat, we also discuss another hard topic with our kids -  bullying and loneliness. We talk about the importance of friendship for our kids and how we can turn our kids to Jesus in these moments.

    My favorite part is when Trillia reminds us that the teaching is coming. Either culture is going to teach our kids or we need to get ahead of that messaging. It’s so very important that we frame tough topics with a biblical point of view and Trilia helps us do that so well.

    In this episode, we discuss:
    How to teach our kids about diversity from a biblical perspective How to discern between bullying and unkindness How to invite God into your loneliness  
    Connect with Pardon The Mess:
    Christian Parenting
    Pardon The Mess 
    Courtney DeFeo

    Resources from today’s show:
    Jesus and the Gift of Friendship - Trillia’s new book
    God’s Very Good Idea (and other books) by Trillia
    Connect with Trillia Newbell



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    • 30 min
    BONUS: Marked by God’s Certainty

    BONUS: Marked by God’s Certainty

    “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” —Proverbs 16:9 NLT
    We just don’t know what we don’t know.
    History gives us some pretty funny stories of people who tried to predict the future but got it embarrassingly wrong. One great example is from 1962, when a record executive told the Beatles they “have no future in show business” because four-piece groups with guitars are a thing of the past. 
    Oops.
    The only thing we can be certain about this side of heaven is that our lives are going to be uncertain. We don’t know that the next year holds for us or our kids.
     But God does.
    In the middle of uncertainty for Joshua, God reminded him that “every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you” (Joshua 1:3 ESV). The message to Joshua is the same message for us: with God directing our steps, not even one of them is unexpected or without purpose to the One who authors them all.
    This week, we’re praying for our kids to understand that what’s uncertain to them is anything but unexpected or unplanned to God. Knowing that, we can put our trust in the One who not only knows the future but also writes it.
    Lord, you don’t just know what the future holds, you are the future. Help [name] to stand firm in the face of uncertainty, knowing that you determine their steps and, in doing so, go before and behind them with power and authority over all things. We don’t know what we don’t know—but you do.
     God’s word speaks: Romans 8:28; Philippians 1:6; Isaiah 45:2; Proverbs 3:6


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    • 14 min
    How to move forward when you are crushed and devastated with Laney Rene

    How to move forward when you are crushed and devastated with Laney Rene

    I have long admired Laney Rene online and was so thrilled to get a chance to know her through this interview. She is beyond her years in wisdom and her faith has always inspired me. She’s a young mom so those of you with littles will definitely relate to our episode.

    She shares so tenderly about the loss of her son and how she experienced God in a new way through her pain. So many of you have gone through or are enduring tremendous pain. Painful parts of our story can feel so very crushing and devastating. So, how do we choose hope over despair? I believe Laney Rene’s story will encourage you.

    My favorite part is when she talks about when you know that God is real. And what to do when you doubt that he is real or that he is actually speaking to you.  I pray you will feel so very seen and loved through this conversation about how much God loves his daughters. 

    During this episode, we discuss:
    How to allow God into the most painful parts of your lifeHow to choose hope over despair How to discover how much Jesus truly loves you and sees you as his own child  
    Connect with Pardon The Mess:
    Christian Parenting
    Pardon The Mess 
    Courtney DeFeo



    Our Sponsors:
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    • 36 min
    BONUS: Marked by Self-Discipline

    BONUS: Marked by Self-Discipline

    “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” —Hebrews 12:11 ESV

    Nobody lacks self-discipline like our precious two-year-olds. Their language repertoire is heavy with words like no, mine, and more—typically accompanied with a hearty side of theatrics. As cute as it might be when they are young (or not), a lack of self-discipline creates some big issues later in life.

    Self-discipline (or lack thereof) will impact every part of our kids’ lives, including their dating relationships, finances, online accountability, marriage, physical health, and even their occupations. The author of Hebrews reminds us that discipline isn’t fun in the moment, but it’s a key step in the pathway to righteousness.

    The good news is that self-discipline isn’t just a matter of mustering up enough willpower. Rather, it's a God-given perspective that the greater reward in waiting is better than the immediate temptation we’re facing. Warren Wiersbe says it this way: “Discipline means giving up the good and the better for the best. There is nothing wrong with food or fun, but if they interfere with your highest goals, then they are hindrances and not helps.”

    Let’s ask God to give our kids the self-discipline to look away, walk away, or find a way to pass on anything that interferes with God’s highest goals in their lives. Jesus is worth waiting for, and self-discipline eliminates the pain and discouragement of settling for less than his best in their lives.

    Lord, help [name] to have the self-discipline to pass up the good in order to accomplish the great you have planned for them. Give my children an eye for your bigger picture in all areas of their lives, knowing the ultimate goal of righteousness is worth waiting for. 

    God’s word speaks:
    1 Corinthians 9:24Proverbs 25:282 Timothy 1:71 Corinthians 9:27



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    • 9 min
    How do I manage emotions as a parent? with Jennie Allen

    How do I manage emotions as a parent? with Jennie Allen

    Well, it makes perfect sense that I have a minor cryfest on this episode. In this conversation with Jennie Allen, we dive into our feelings and emotions and what to do with those.  You may have many feelings (like myself) or you may lean towards suppressing your emotions. Either way, we ALL have emotions and it’s important to understand how we handle those as faith-filled parents. 

    I get super teary as we talk about our mutual friend, Wynter Pitts, and how her death really sent me for a loop. In that season, I felt grief like I never had before and wasn’t sure what to do with that. Jennie is the real deal as you will see. She pauses in the midst of the interview to affirm my grief and why that loss hurt so much. 

    My favorite part is towards the end when we discuss how often our emotions get tangled up with our kids. When they hurt, we really hurt. She gives a couple practical ways we can avoid getting pulled into their worlds so far that we risk co-dependence. 

    Don’t miss this episode! Learn more about…
    Why do we fear our emotions and avoid leaning into them?What do you do when you feel something?How to handle emotions when you’re an emotional mess or love to suppress?How do we care for our kids without going down emotionally every time?
    Connect with Pardon The Mess:
    Christian Parenting
    Pardon The Mess 
    Courtney DeFeo

    Resources from today’s show:

    Jennie’s new book, Untangle Your Emotions
    JennieAllen.com
    LifePlan with Brooke Warnock 
    Wynter’s Funeral



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    • 30 min
    BONUS: Marked by God’s Presence

    BONUS: Marked by God’s Presence

    “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:20

    We are on week 23. I am so proud of us! We have prayed every week together on Pardon The Mess for our kids. 
    Today’s prayer features our friend Jeannie Cunnion. I love her heart for Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. She’s written several books on this topic and encouraged me tremendously to lean into God’s presence in my parenting.

    Connect with Jeannie!

    Jeannie’s latest study - Never Alone


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    • 14 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
737 Ratings

737 Ratings

sswmal ,

Fun and functional

There are so many great parenting advice podcasts out there. But I really appreciate how real Courtney is in Pardon the Mess. Raising kids is so fun and so hard, and this podcast gives real-life applications that you can implement in your family.

Jeannie Cunnion ,

One of my favorite parenting podcasts

Courtney is so wise and enjoyable as a host. She has the best guests and she naturally asks the questions we all want answered. I’m always encouraged and better equipped after each episode.

Dkandresen ,

Love

Just found you on Instagram. Even though I have adult children I find the advice still applicable to my mama’s heart.

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