77 episodes

Your guides to the miraculously macabre stories literaly literarily littering the bible.

Bible Stories for Atheists Bible Stories for Atheists

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.7 • 27 Ratings

Your guides to the miraculously macabre stories literaly literarily littering the bible.

    1 Kings Pt. 1 - Bosom Buddies

    1 Kings Pt. 1 - Bosom Buddies

    We kick off 1 Kings by only talking about the first chapter. We've heard the Chronicles' version of Solomon becoming king but now we'll learn the King's version which is very different.

    The Succession drama is real as David gets sickly and curls up with a pretty young virgin. His oldest son for some reason thinks he's going to be the next king and tries to gather support by throwing a feast. Meanwhile, Solomon's mom convinces David to make Solomon king.

    And we hear from some Christian pastors on what these ancient government documents mean to your personal life choices today.

    Hope you enjoyed your VD!
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    • 1 hr 18 min
    2 Samuel Pt. 8 - Numbers and How to Count Them

    2 Samuel Pt. 8 - Numbers and How to Count Them

    Oh boy! Is this a great episode if you love vague quantities of precious metals and stones. And the names! Oh the names of it all!

    We're blowing through the ingredients for a temple and plowing right into Solomon skipping the line to be king and David dying. All completely without incident. At least according to the book of Chronicles.

    Oh yeah! And the bible talks about aliens! We're pretty sure an ET cult has to exist because of this verse.

    Sorry, I feel like I just keep talking about me. How are you doing?
    Support the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com
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    • 1 hr 9 min
    2 Samuel Pt. 7 - Error 404: God Not Found

    2 Samuel Pt. 7 - Error 404: God Not Found

    We dig elbow deep into a steaming pile of contradictions, curiosities, and constipated commentary. The unerring bible seems to glitch out on us. The all knowing, all powerful author had an apparent brain fart.

    2 Samuel 24 and 1 Chronicles 21 tell the same story but with some pretty significant differences. Like for example, if the bible is in fact perfect, we are left with the only obvious conclusion that God and Satan are the same person. I mean, we never do see them in the same place at the same time. And if God just took off His glasses He sure would look a lot like Satan. Also, He would be beautiful and Zack would definitely win the bet with his friends when he takes God to prom. 

    And we get into the stuff Christian authorities make up to explain it away. So that's a hoot. 

    Anyone else notice how Xmas just comes way too early in the winter? It's supposed to be the high point but lately it's before we even get our first snow (thanks global warming!). And then it's over and we get dumped on and there's nothing to look forward to for like 3 months! I say we move Xmas to March. So when you're freezing your Marys' and Josephs' off through January and February you have Xmas in March to look forward to. God's perfect plan, my ass!
    Support the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com
    Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists
    YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists
    Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

    • 1 hr 8 min
    2 Samuel Pt. 6 - Man Kisses Gone Wrong

    2 Samuel Pt. 6 - Man Kisses Gone Wrong

    Fresh off overthrowing his son fresh off overthrowing him, David deals with a dick dividing his domain to dogshit. 

    - Sheba gets the northern kingdom to split from David, but of course that doesn't last long.
    - David incredibly has a need to kill even more descendants of Saul. 
    - MOAR GIANTS!!1!
    - And some politically charged poetry

    Hearts and kisses, my dear. Hearts. And kisses.
    Support the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com
    Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists
    YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists
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    • 1 hr 8 min
    The Case for Christ Review, Or: I Don't Need Your Help, But Thanks

    The Case for Christ Review, Or: I Don't Need Your Help, But Thanks

    Happy holidays all you war on CHRISTmas warriors! 

    We're kicking back and watching  that time honored 2017 classic Christmas movie, The Case for Christ. Based on the book of the same name, this follows former "journalist" Lee Strobel as he proves that the path to Christianity is paved with stupid questions.

    Oh yes, it makes complete sense when you set out on a quest to disprove Christianity to only focus on one part of the claim.  Ignore the Old Testament. Ignore the inconsistent theology. Yes. That's how good of a reporter he is.

    Anyway, my mom, Jill, joins us and we had a lot of fun recording this. 

    Hope you all are doing well and having a good time over the holidays! Yo Saturnalia! 
    Support the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com
    Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists
    YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists
    Donate - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bsfa

    • 1 hr 10 min
    (Re-Release) Holy Sheet

    (Re-Release) Holy Sheet

    We continue our series on Acts starting with a story about a Sorcerer named Simon. 
    A guy named Philip meets an unnamed Ethiopian eunuch who is really into a prophesy that Philip completely gets wrong. Also it turns out Christians can teleport.
    We have a real Saul on the road to Damascus moment, when we talk about Saul on the road to Damascus.
    We talk about the most important woman to never get any attention in bible.
    And Herod dies at the end in a really crazy way.
    Sorry, just kinda throwing this summary together this week.
    Support the showWebsite - https://www.biblestoriesforatheists.com
    Reddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/bibleatheists
    YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bibleatheists
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    • 1 hr 43 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
27 Ratings

27 Ratings

Franciscaclassic ,

Serious study and humorous debate

These are great stories from the bible with the sheep sex jokes! I love it!

Kim from Colorado ,

Love this!

Just discovered your podcast and am loving it! I’ve always been an atheist, but felt like I had to be “in the closet”. With more and more people moving away from organized religion, it’s now more acceptable to talk about the fallacies of religion, and what utter nonsense the Bible is. Am also from Michigan 🙂, now live in Colorado.

irkendragon ,

Great Non-theistic Edutainment

Great fun coverage of the religious text without the pressure to buy into it. I’ve wanted to know more about these stories but don’t really have the time or fortitude required to get through them myself. Also nice having insight from two formerly religious hosts on how different things have been interpreted by different branches of Christianity over time. Fun book club vibes.

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