18 min
Biblical Advice for Christian Marital Problems Scott LaPierre Ministries
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- Christianity
Our Christian marital problems are only symptoms. The actual problem is in our relationship with Christ. This is why all the prayers for marital problems should include praying for a stronger relationship with the Lord. Read or listen to this content from Your Marriage God’s Way to find biblical advice for marriage problems.
Table of Contents* Submission to Christ Improves Marriages* Handling Christian Marital Problems* Three Encouragements* Why We Should Embrace Christian Marital Problems* Ask Difficult Questions and Expect Painful Answers* God's Chastening Is Not Punishment, But a Father's Loving Discipline* Learning From Painful Seasons Caused by Christian Marital Problems
Because our relationships with our spouses reflect our relationships with Christ, our marriage “problems” are merely symptoms. The actual problems are in our relationships with Christ. The horizontal relationship with our spouse is suffering because there’s something wrong with the vertical relationship with Christ.
For instance, in my marriage, the problem looked like I did not have enough time for my wife and children. But that was a symptom. The problem was that I would not listen to the Holy Spirit’s promptings to meet my family’s needs, and I was not trusting Christ enough. Instead, I let anxiety consume me.
Thus, the first place to address any symptoms that appear to be problems between the husband and wife is to look at each person’s relationship with the Lord. When I counsel couples, and they share a problem they are experiencing, they become confused when I ask, “What does your time in God’s Word look like? How is your prayer life? Tell me about your involvement in the church.”
A wife might say, “I just told you my husband yells at me. Why are you asking about his time in the Word?” Because the hope is that as a husband reads God’s Word he will be convicted of what he is doing wrong, repent, and become a more patient and loving man. I do not have the power to change a husband’s heart, nor does a wife, or there would be no need for counseling. A husband can only become the man he should be by having a good relationship with Christ.
Likewise, a husband might respond, “I just told you about how my wife humiliates me in front of our friends. Why do you ask whether we are part of a small group study?” Because ongoing connections with other believers can provide accountability and require vulnerability and transparency. You can learn from other believers and be challenged by their examples. When you are not actively involved with others in the body of Christ, you will not receive the encouragement and exhortation God wants you to have. You will feel alone, as though you are the only people having these problems. You will not have anyone through whom God can regularly speak to you. We are made to have fellowship with other believers. When that is lacking, it manifests in other areas, including our marriages.
Submission to Christ Improves Marriages
Here are two situations I have witnessed many times.
Our Christian marital problems are only symptoms. The actual problem is in our relationship with Christ. This is why all the prayers for marital problems should include praying for a stronger relationship with the Lord. Read or listen to this content from Your Marriage God’s Way to find biblical advice for marriage problems.
Table of Contents* Submission to Christ Improves Marriages* Handling Christian Marital Problems* Three Encouragements* Why We Should Embrace Christian Marital Problems* Ask Difficult Questions and Expect Painful Answers* God's Chastening Is Not Punishment, But a Father's Loving Discipline* Learning From Painful Seasons Caused by Christian Marital Problems
Because our relationships with our spouses reflect our relationships with Christ, our marriage “problems” are merely symptoms. The actual problems are in our relationships with Christ. The horizontal relationship with our spouse is suffering because there’s something wrong with the vertical relationship with Christ.
For instance, in my marriage, the problem looked like I did not have enough time for my wife and children. But that was a symptom. The problem was that I would not listen to the Holy Spirit’s promptings to meet my family’s needs, and I was not trusting Christ enough. Instead, I let anxiety consume me.
Thus, the first place to address any symptoms that appear to be problems between the husband and wife is to look at each person’s relationship with the Lord. When I counsel couples, and they share a problem they are experiencing, they become confused when I ask, “What does your time in God’s Word look like? How is your prayer life? Tell me about your involvement in the church.”
A wife might say, “I just told you my husband yells at me. Why are you asking about his time in the Word?” Because the hope is that as a husband reads God’s Word he will be convicted of what he is doing wrong, repent, and become a more patient and loving man. I do not have the power to change a husband’s heart, nor does a wife, or there would be no need for counseling. A husband can only become the man he should be by having a good relationship with Christ.
Likewise, a husband might respond, “I just told you about how my wife humiliates me in front of our friends. Why do you ask whether we are part of a small group study?” Because ongoing connections with other believers can provide accountability and require vulnerability and transparency. You can learn from other believers and be challenged by their examples. When you are not actively involved with others in the body of Christ, you will not receive the encouragement and exhortation God wants you to have. You will feel alone, as though you are the only people having these problems. You will not have anyone through whom God can regularly speak to you. We are made to have fellowship with other believers. When that is lacking, it manifests in other areas, including our marriages.
Submission to Christ Improves Marriages
Here are two situations I have witnessed many times.
18 min