Brothers Talk About Love IN a Conscious Relationship The Kind of Love

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Episode Start
Hey whats up. Welcome back. I’m Aaron. This season is going to be all about the aftermath of break-up. ITs about healing and loving and accepting yourself.
 
What are some of the ways and tools we can use to lean into healing out wounds from the past? So we can move forward into the kind of love we want. 
 
Im excited about this first interview. Its with my brother, Dave ! We’ve known each other for a little while. When we recorded this Dave had just gone through break up with a finance. His willingness and vulnerability to even have this conversation shows a lot about his character. 
 
I really want to explore these painful stories and wounds from our past that we bring into our relationship. Ultimately we get our emotional buttons pushed a lot in our relationship. 
 
We don’t just overnight fall out of love, we fall out of love one unloving behavior at a time. Is it possible then that we can restore our relationship one LOVING behavior at a time ? I believe they can restore it one loving behavior at a time. But it always takes two to be in a relationship. 
 
I talk with Dave in this first part about how to cultivate a conversation in your relationship at the very beginning, to create a foundation around it so you can begin to love and trust each other. 
 
When our emotional buttons are pushed in a relationship, it’s not really about our partner, its about us. And the hurt, pain, annoyance, or disgust is really about our pain from the past that we need to overcome and heal. Our partners behaviors just reflects back to us that pain and that hurt. 
 
You’ve probably heard that hurt people, hurt people. And I believe healed people can heal people. 
 
So how do we cultivate a relationship where we don’t harm each other and where your partner isn’t your problem ? Where you recognize that your wounds are your problem.
 
I talk with Dave how he set up his relationship with his partner with the intention to not harm one another. We’re imperfect human beings, but its important to create space in the relationship to give ourselves the love and respect that we need to heal. 
 
What do I mean by space? I mean the ability to have compassion, empathy, trust, and to not react or harm your partner. Its the ability and the emotional intelligence to understand that the pain you hold onto is not about your partner, it’s about you learning to love and accept yourself.   Then, you can grow back your relationship one LOVING behavior at a time. 
 
When we get committed to truly loving ourselves in the relationship, we’re making a commitment to loving our partner.  When get an understanding of choosing ourself in the relationship, we then grow the capacity to choose our partner as well. 
 
Dave and I grew up under the same roof. II believe the story that “I’m Bad.” The shame story we bring into our relationship and we  let it reek havoc because we believe we’re bad. And if we believe that we’re bad, it will show up in real life. 
 
Our brain wants to reinforce that story. But the truth is we’re not bad. We need to look at that shame and shine a light on it so that we don’t keep continuing the harmful cycles and patterns. 
 
This episode is brought to you by me a personal coach. I work in self-love and self-acceptance. You can go to the kindoflove.com and sign up for the newsletter and you’ll get podcast updates and be sent love inspiration. 
 
Here’s a couple brothers talking about love. 
 
Interview
 
4:50 min  
We just get the moments we don’t always get to record the moments. Boomerangs thoughts will come back and what was that awkward  funny thing ?
 
5:50 min
Brother’s banter about the intro. 
 
6:30 min
Aaron brings back up his awkward not kissin