85 episodes

Daddy Square is a weekly podcast for and by gay dads, joining the successful blog of the same name. Coming to you from West Hollywood, Yan and Alex, a married couple with 5-year-old twins talk about parenting, relationships, self growth and gay stuff. In each episode they bring a guest and tackle an issue that arises in parenting in general and in gay parenting in particular.

Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast Yanir Dekel

    • Kids & Family
    • 5.0 • 61 Ratings

Daddy Square is a weekly podcast for and by gay dads, joining the successful blog of the same name. Coming to you from West Hollywood, Yan and Alex, a married couple with 5-year-old twins talk about parenting, relationships, self growth and gay stuff. In each episode they bring a guest and tackle an issue that arises in parenting in general and in gay parenting in particular.

    Daddy Squared Around The World: Israel

    Daddy Squared Around The World: Israel

    Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast looks at gay rights and fatherhood options in Israel. We talked with Israeli pop star and gay dad Ivri Lider to get a taste of what it’s like being a gay dad in Israel, and researched options for Israeli gay men who want to become dads.







    Parenting is engraved in Israeli culture. In this episode of Daddy Squared we give a taste of gay fatherhood in Israel as well as explore options for gay men to become dads.







    "In Israel these days it's really very common for gay men to have kids," singer Ivri Lider tells Daddy Squared, "it's pretty amazing what happens in Tel Aviv. In the last 10 years it became the obvious thing, like the normal obvious thing for gay couples to have kids. In Israel, having kids is something that is very much intrenched in society and it's, like, important. Having kids is like the most important thing you can do with your life."







    Despite the normality of gays with kids in Israel, and the popularity of surrogacy among gay Israelis, surrogacy is still illegal in the country, and gay men are forced to have kids abroad. "It is something that we really are fighting for these days," Lider says, "because right now it's a discriminating law. If you're a straight couple you can do surrogacy in Israel and also if you're a woman you can do surrogacy in Israel, but if you are a man you can't. It's kinda obvious that it's more of an anti-gay law because there's not a lot of straight men who go through surrogacy alone. We definitely see it as something discriminating against gay men, but the Israeli Supreme Court ruled last year that it should be changed. So it's this moment in time when we're waiting to see what's gonna happen with that."







    Lider, had his son, Alby, through surrogacy in the U.S. in 2019. "It's such an amazing thing," he says about parenthood, "suddenly to having a little kid and watching the world through his eyes, learning about the world with him and being able to teach him --it's just incredible."







    "It took time for me to decide that I'm doing it and how I'm doing it. At the beginning I was in a long relationship and I was thinking I would be doing it in a relationship, and then we broke up--partially because of that, because he wasn't ready, and then I was a long for a while, thinking I would do joint parenting, and I met with a few girls and then after a while I was feeling that this is not really for me, I was feeling that I'll never feel ready to do it with a woman who's not my wife, and I felt in a kind of deep psychological way for me to not commit enough. So I thought, 'ok, you're going to commit,' and I was still single when I started the process."







    "And the most amazing thing is that I met Yonatan, my boyfriend, right after I started. So I started the process as a single man but eventually when Alby was born we were already in a relationship. Yonatan will tell you that on the first date we were sitting at my house and talking and having wine, and I was like, 'yeah, I'm having a kid.'"







    Surrogacy for Gay Men in Israel







    Surrogacy is illegal for single men and gay couples in Israel, therefore, gay men travel abroad, mostly to the U.S. and Canada, for their journey.







    Joint Parenthood (Co-Parenting) for Gay Men in Israel







    "It's very common to do it with someone you know for many years," Ivri Lider says. "Like, a lot of my friends will tell you, 'oh we were friends in high school,' or we know this woman for 20 years and now we're going to have a kid together.' In a very Israeli fashion it's very family-like, a close relationship."







    Our Guest: Ivri Lider







    Ivri Lider is an ...

    • 59 min
    Daddy Squared Around The World: Australia

    Daddy Squared Around The World: Australia

    Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast looks at gay rights and fatherhood options in Australia. We talked with Equality Australia founder and gay dad Tom Snow to get a taste of what it’s like being a gay dad in Australia, and researched options for gay men who want to become dads.







    Gay dad Tom Snow was a key person in Australia's Marriage Equality campaign. Though the Australian campaign was fueled by the success in Ireland and in the United States, in the interview on our podcast Tom explained the key difference between Australia and those countries.







    "In Ireland the biggest message around marriage equality was about equality," Snow explained. "In the U.S. there were a few things that were use but freedom was a big one, equality and rights were also big in the states. But when we message-tested those in Australia, the biggest thing that Australians get is fairness. And what we realized is that people just saw it as not fair that same sex couples were not able to get married. They could see the unfairness of it, and they were like 'that's not decent' that there's a group of people that are not treated the same."







    Winning marriage was important for the country, however, Snow told Daddy Squared it wasn't quite important for parenting, as gay men could have kids, even before marriage, in a few different ways. "Surrogacy, adoption and co-parenting are probably the big three," he says, "historically many gay men and lesbian women did it through co-parenting. The good news in Australia is that adoption is reasonably equal in the law, in that case it's reasonably equal for gays and lesbians. We do have some issues that some of the adoption agencies that are religious-based, discriminate against our community and continue to do so."







    "Surrogacy is harder for gay men in Australia, there might be a family friend or a family member who might carry a baby for a gay male couple. That's difficult [to find a surrogate] so many gay men do go overseas."







    A dad of a twin 10-year-olds and a 6-year-old through surrogacy, Snow shared his own story of parenthood. "Never is everything under control," he laughs, "but it's the most fun experience, every day is just a riot of fun. I say this to everyone looking at being a parent, it's a lot harder than I ever expected it to be, but it's also a lot better than I ever expected it to be. It is a complete change in your life."







    Adoption for Gay Dads in Australia







    Currently in Australia, laws around adoption and fostering by LGBT people differ by state/territory. The first step for prospective parents is to research which type of adoption or permanent care is possible in your state or territory.







    There are three types of adoption in Australia: domestic adoption (local and from out of home care), inter-country adoption, or permanent care and foster care. Helpful information about adoption in general and by-state in Australia can be found on adoptchange.org.au







    It's important to state that religious-based foster care agencies may appeal to legal provisions allowing them to refuse to assess LGBT applicants.







    Full information sheet on adoption and foster care in Australia by Australian Psychology Society (APS) can be found here.







    Surrogacy for Gay Dads in Australia







    Surrogacy in Australia is based on state-by-state laws. Western Australia, for example, only allows single women and heterosexual couples to engage in surrogacy.

    • 59 min
    Daddy Squared Around the World: Argentina

    Daddy Squared Around the World: Argentina

    Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast looks at gay rights and fatherhood options in Argentina. We talked with Argentinian LGBT activist Pablo Fracchia to get a taste of what it’s like being a gay dad in Argentina, and researched options for gay men who want to become dads.







    Pablo Fracchia signed up to adopt a child in 2017, and after two long years of waiting he got a phone call from a family judge.







    The judge matched him with Mia, a little girl who suffered with a severe gastrointestinal condition, needed serious medical attention and her biological family was unable to provide it, so she was sent to an institution for children with health issues. Fracchia adopted her after she was living in the hospital for a year, alone. His story was told all over the world.







    ״It's been a crazy year," Pablo admits on Daddy Squared Podcast. "The article came out last year in Argentina for our Diverse Families Day, the newspaper wanted to make an article about diverse families, they contacted me and for the last year it's been crazy.







    "A lot of people contact me through social media and I'm trying to [answer all the questions about my story]. There's a lot of misconception about adoption in Argentina, about this process that used to be a very complex, but was simplified over the years so a lot of people ask me questions, I became some source of information and since I'm also a social worker and work on LGBT issues, to me it's a way of activism by itself to help people to achieve their parenting dreams."







    The most inspiring detail in Pablo's story was his decision to adopt a child as a single man, a decision that according to him wasn't easy to make.







    "The first thing I did when I decided to adopt on my own was to gather my family and tell them you know I'm making this life decision and I'm not going to be able to do it if you're not supporting me," Pablo tells us. "I needed to know that they were going to be by my side and of course they were absolutely on board.







    "I was thinking that it was time to break the idea that in order to have a kid you have to be in a relationship. I worked that with my therapist, and said ok let's do it."







    Despite the acceptance of the law in Argentina in regards to LGBT people, visibility of LGBT parents makes life for LGBT families in Argentina a lot better. People like trans actress Florencia De La V, gay dancer and TV Judge Flavio Mendoza, and trans comedienne Lizy Tagliani had famously have gone through surrogacy in the United States and are outspoken about their families.







    "In a way,

    • 52 min
    Daddy Squared Around the World: United Kingdom

    Daddy Squared Around the World: United Kingdom

    Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast looks at gay rights and fatherhood options in the UK. We talked with Brit actor Charlie Condou to get a taste of what it’s like being a gay dad in the UK, and researched options for gay men who want to become dads.







    The number of gay dads in the UK is increasing. Many gay men are exploring parenting options, and to make things easier, Alex and Yan have called for the help of actor Charlie Condou who has been outspoken about his life as a gay man and as a parent.







    "Things are certainly better than they were when I was a young man," actor Charlie Condou tells us in this episode, "and you see it with the younger generation of the LGBTQ community. They walk around holding hands, which is something that we certainly never would have done. Everything seems to be much more acceptable. Gay relationships as a whole, the fact that we can get married now, and the fact that we can have children."







    "It's relatively new, I suppose. I mean, I think that gay women have been getting on with having kids for a long time, because, you know, it's easier for them to have children. Gay men have never really been a part of the conversation for a long time and I think, if you were a gay man and you wanted to be a parent, you either got married to a woman and went down that lie, or you parked it and you thought ok this is something that I have to put out of my mind and put out of my life because it's not an option for me."







    "We couldn't adopt, surrogacy wasn't a thing, and we're a very different place now, and younger gay men today, when they get into a relationship and even if they don't want to have kids, it's still part of the conversation, they'll still have that discussion."







    During our interview, Condou described his inner thoughts, from the idea of wanting to become a dad, to figuring out how to do it as a gay men in the UK at the time.







    "As I got older and realized that I want to do it sooner rather than later," he said, "surrogacy wasn't a thing then, gay men couldn't adopt then, certainly single gay men couldn't adopt. So co-parenting was something that, it wasn't even a word, but it seemed like the best option to me. I'm going to have to find a female friend who wants to have children with me. Of course in my naive early 20s mind I thought 'yeah that'll be fine, somebody will want to have a kid with me, you know, who wouldn't?!' I did not realize that a lot of straight females-- it's not their first choice."







    "I started to have this conversation with girl friends of mine, just in a very vague kind of 'what if'? And I had one friend in particular, Cathrine, who said, 'yeah, I wanna be a parent, and if I'm still single at 40 then, yeah. Let's get on with it.' It was a bit of a joke, because why would she still be single at 40, but she was."







    Gay Dads in the UK: Co-Parenting







    "We sat down and said, ok, let's talk about it then. How would it work? We didn't know anybody who did anything like this at all. It was a completely new territory. So we talked about every eventuality, all the possible scenarios. What happens if someone moves to Australia? I don't know why even, but we talked about it. And I knew very quickly that if I was going to co-parent, it had to be 50-50. I didn't want to be a dad that is just around every other weekend."







    At some point during the conversation with Catherine, Charlie met his now-husband, Cameron. Early in their relationship Charlie had told him about his plans with Catherine and Cameron was on board. "And then it became the three of us, and the conversation had to change a little, because how does that work, with three parents? What will the three of us bring? How do we navigate that?"

    • 58 min
    Daddy Squared Around the World: Denmark

    Daddy Squared Around the World: Denmark

    Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast looks at gay rights and fatherhood options in Denmark. We talked with Danish singer songwriter Bryan Rice to get a taste of what it’s like being a gay dad in Denmark, and researched options for gay men who want to become dads.







    Rainbow Family is the term used in Denmark for families with one or more LGBT persons in an immediate family. Our guest in this episode, singer and songwriter Bryan Rice, is a prominent example of a rainbow family, as he co-parent his daughter with his husband, Mads Enggaard and Mads' high school (straight woman) friend.







    "I feel it's quite common here, I don't feel special," Bryan says. "There is a common sense that families like mine are just as much families like others'. we have so many different types so this is just, as I call it, a happy divorced family. We don't have the baggage that often divorce families have."







    "Liv, [Bryan and Mads' daughter] has a mother who also live here in Copenhagen as well, who is an old friend of my husband Mads, so they have known each other since they were in high school and I have known her for all the time I know Mads, so we are a Rainbow Family."







    Liv's mother came to the couple when she was about to reach 40, and said that she had no boyfriend and she reached a point where she wanted to have a kid and she wanted to know if they wanted to be the fathers.







    "When we started talking about the project, we talked about how to start when the kid is born, what do we do at a certain age, when do we start splitting, when will she start to have one or two nights at our place without her mother," Bryan recalls. "We have what we call a child contract, and that is quite common here. The contract is based on our thoughts about how we are supposed to do it but also based on knowledge from other couples."







    Brian comes from a little town outside of Roskilde in Denmark. He came out at 17 "it has to do with a lot of things," he says, "in my surroundings it wasn't a problem to come out, and in my family I didn't really come out. To me it was just a matter of saying, 'I'm bringing home my boyfriend.'"







    Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast returns for season 4, Around the World, to capture gay dad options and rights in a post-pandemic world. In each episode, Alex and Yan, a married couple and fathers of five-year-old twins, talk with gay dads from a different country, discussing equal rights and options for gay men.







    Co-parenting in Denmark







    As far as parenthood options for gay men, Denmark is a "co-parenting culture." The majority of gay men tend to go with the co-parenting route, either with a woman friend who they know, or through meeting women on matchmaking websites that are specifically for creating Rainbow Families (see links below). In these websites you can search for other people who also want to become parents and are looking for one or more co-parents who share the dream to have together a child who knows both his biological parents.







    In the co-parenting model, all parents involved take part in the child's everyday life, development, etc.







    Surrogacy in Denmark







    Surrogacy is illegal in Denmark, therefore men who want to do it have to travel, most go to the USA, for their surrogacy journey.







    "I think that it is a quite strange that surrogacy is illegal in Denmark," Bryan said in our interview, "because Denmark has been on front of every other legislation in the LGBT area. We're very liberated country but still on this issue we're very much behind."







    "I feel that the politicians are almost afraid to talk about this subject, because they know that it's a problem that we ar...

    • 50 min
    Daddy Squared Around the World: Germany

    Daddy Squared Around the World: Germany

    Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast looks at gay rights and fatherhood options in Germany. We talked with German stage actor and blogger Kevin Silvergieter (AKA "Papapi") to get a taste of what it's like being a gay dad in Germany, and researched options for gay men who want to become dads.







    Despite Berlin's reputation as one of the most gay-friendly cities in the world, it's surprising to know that Germany is not as tolerant for LGBT parenting as one might think. Not only is there a lack of visibility for gay dads in the media, gay men report discrimination in adoption and the general attitude towards them raising kids.







    "Still there are a few parts where I’m like ‘um, we live in Germany and it’s 2021 and are you kidding me?!'," our guest in this episode, famous blogger Kevin Silvergieter, tells us, "do I still have to deal with that as a gay man?"







    Until 2017 gay marriage wasn’t even legal in Germany. There was something like ‘written partnership by law.’ "With us not being able to marry we were not able to adopt kids as couples." Kevin explains. "We still have [discrimination] in quite a few areas of German law. For example, blood donation is not allowed for gay men because our behavior raises the risk of HIV, which is, of course, ridiculous. They did come up 5 years or so ago with a law that gay men can donate blood if they haven’t had sex for 12 months."







    With adoption, it's really rare for gay men to be selected, according to some testimonials, because of a strong preference by the authorities and the birth parents to give kids to heterosexual families.







    "I don’t want to call it discrimination but it’s kind of odd that we’re not good enough for adoption but the agencies will placed very troubled foster kids with us," Kevin says in the interview.







    Foster Care is definitely more common for gay men than adoption. "I know that there are a few gay couples who were closer by age more than my husband and I and they adopted 6 years ago," Kevin says. "They both have been a better match for the authorities than we have, so one of the dads adopted and then three years ago when the law changed the other one could adopt them as well. Also, overall, there are not many kids available for adoption. The ratio is 10 heterosexual parents waiting for every one kid, and on top of that one gay couple. And the biological parents can decide with the authorities together where to put the kids and most of them prefer to place their kids with heterosexual couples."







    Kevin and his husband were reluctant to go with the Foster Care route because of fears for growing close to a child only to have them taken away. He was surprised to find out that there was a 'permanent foster route,' where he can get a court document that affirms that the kids will stay with him.







    "In April 2014 I called Foster Care and asked for an interview to see if this option really doesn’t fit us or we just didn’t know enough," Kevin tells us. "I just thought that if we don’t hear it first-hand we can’t really rule it out. So we started, and then in September 2015, after a long, long road with lots of paperwork and talks with psychologists (a process which was really frustrating at the time, but which I now appreciate for the extreme care involved), our son moved in.







    Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast returns for season 4, Around the World, to capture gay dad options and rights in a post-pandemic world. In each episode, Alex and Yan, a married couple and fathers of five-year-old twins, talk with gay dads from a different country, discussing equal rights and options for gay men.







    Foster Care in Germany







    Foster Care is currently the main option for gay men.

    • 49 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
61 Ratings

61 Ratings

Tracy & Amy ,

Great for families of all kinds!

Oh my goodness! I am loving these guys! My wife and I are the 2 moms of our amazing 4 year old daughter and I wish Alex and Yan were our neighbors! I love the real life talk they bring into each episode. The topics are spot on and applicable to all parents. My wife and I actually send these episodes to each other to make sure we both listened so we can discuss the topics. This has led to some amazing conversations! Thank you so much guys! Live you both!

TannerS93 ,

Tremendously Resourceful

I’m a pretty new listener, but have quickly caught up! This is such a great resource for so many different reasons. Hearing the many different opinions surrounding parenting to the path in becoming a parent in its many forms has been such an eye opener! My husband and I have found it so fun to listen to together and spur conversations about our future family! Thank you so much!

IndigoFan76 ,

Great resource!

My husband and I are in the middle of surrogacy now - have loved this podcast for the community, perspective, and humor. Two thumbs way up!

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