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Destination Wedding – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 64

This week, Daniel and Corky remember the days when you could still travel to destinations by reviewing Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder in Destination Wedding. After remaining cooped up for months, the Dare Daniel hosts are ready for a fight. However, this limp rom-com two-hander puts up no fight whatsoever.

Reeves and Ryder get miscast as brittle, misanthropic loners connecting during a dreaded wedding weekend. The film demands congratulations for having a vocabulary, but the nonstop jabber is merely time-filling, sub-Kevin Smith prattle.

Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss mountain lion attacks, Calvinball matches and whine-and-cheese pairings.

NEW DARES

Street Fighter (1994) (Jaina Sinclair)

Miss March (Mr. Positivity Wolfie T)

DESTINATION WEDDING FACTS AND FIGURES

Theatrical release date: Aug. 30, 2018 (in Ukraine and the Czech Republic)

International box office: $2.1 million (production budget: $5 million)

Critic scores: 53 on Rotten Tomatoes; 46 on Metacritic

This week’s craft beers: Moksa/Claimstake’s All the Rage collaboration DIPL (Daniel); Urban Roots Brewing’s Pebbles and Marbles grisette (Corky)

This week’s dare: Keanu Reeves

Why did John Wick dare Daniel and Corky to watch Destination Wedding? “Longtime listener, first-time submitter. I know how you love romantic comedies, so I submit to you the anti-romantic comedy. I love it, and it seems that the reactions are binary: love it or hate it. ‘Too much talking.’ Wah.”

IMDB synopsis: “The story of two miserable and unpleasant wedding guests, Lindsay and Frank, who develop a mutual affection despite themselves.”

This week’s referenced movies: Cutthroat Island; Johnny Mnemonic; Norbit; Bram Stoker’s Dracula; Backdraft; Black Mama, White Mama; A Scanner Darkly; Cats

Ratings: Daniel – Dare; Corky – Dare

RELATED CLIPS

Theatrical trailer for Destination Wedding

Wildcat “attack” scene

Keanu carries Winona

Follow Dare Daniel on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Be sure to listen, rate, review and subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PlayerFM, Listen Notes, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Castbox and more. New episodes come out every other Tuesday! Help support the show by clicking the Donate button on the Dare Daniel homepage, and send us your movie dares. Read more of Daniel’s movie reviews at Dare Daniel and...

Deadfall – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 63

“Hi-f*****g-ya!”

It took them over 60 episodes, but Daniel and Corky are finally ready to review their first Nicolas Cage movie. Did Cage’s unhinged performance as a psycho gangster in Deadfall live up to the hype?

Also known as Nepotism: The Motion Picture, the remarkably inept Deadfall was directed by Cage’s brother, Christopher Coppola. Other stars doing favors in service of one of the most braindead movies ever created include James Coburn, Peter Fonda and Charlie Sheen. Unfortunately, the lead role and most of the screentime goes to Michael Biehn, who brings the gravitas of Mr. Bean to his hardboiled con man role. As far as Cage goes over the top, Biehn goes exactly as far under the bottom.

Deadfall features some classic Cage freak-outs, but the film is unwatchably atrocious whenever he’s offscreen. Coppola reaches for some hardboiled noir existentialism, but the film is only existential in that it made us want to die.

Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss villainous food courts, gratuitous sex scenes, Perry Farrell-esque henchmen, and “Sam f*****g Peckinpah.”

NEW DARES

Chupacabra vs. the Alamo (Matthew Dougherty)

Saturn 3 (The Ghost of Kirk Douglas)

DEADFALL (1993) FACTS AND FIGURES

Theatrical release date: Oct. 8, 1993

Domestic box office: $18,000 (production budget: $10 million)

Critic scores: 0 on Rotten Tomatoes (6 reviews)

This week’s craft beer: Urban Roots Brewing‘s All Together IPA (6.5% ABV)

This week’s darer: Jordan Farrell

Why did Jordan dare Daniel and Corky to watch Deadfall? “Hey, guys! I recently stumbled upon your podcast via the r/bad movies subreddit, and I haven’t stopped listening to it since! However, I noticed you haven’t covered the enigma lunatic that is Nicholas Cage. I double-dog dare you to watch the movie Deadfall. Nicolas Cage is really the showcase of this. His performance is as insane as it was in Wild at Heart, except without any direction other than his own. Please please watch this, you won’t regret it.”

IMDB synopsis: “When Joe loses his dad in a sting, he contacts his dad’s twin, Lou, who has a major sting planned. Lou’s helper feels threatened by Joe. Who’s conning who?”

This week’s referenced movies: Vampire’s Kiss; Red Rock West; Goodfellas; Apocalypse Now; This Is Spinal Tap; Street Fighter (1994); The Sting; Roxanne; Napoleon Dynamite; Leprechaun in the Hood; Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS; Cutthroat Island; Blue Velvet; Green Book; Sleepaway Camp; Austin Powers movies; The Color of Money; Dr. No; Edward Scissorhands; Arsenal; The Terminator; Aliens; Tombstone; Forbidden Zone; Glengarry Glen Ross

Ratings: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

Special thanks: Playable Characters Podcast and I Haven’t Seen That Movie Podcast

RELATED CLIPS

Theatrical trailer for Deadfall (1993)

“The Ultimate Nic Cage Cut”

Megaforce – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 62

“Get ready for a high-speed moccasin blowout!”

Although still social distancing, Daniel and Corky welcome comedian and Barley & Me host Ben Rice on this week’s episode. Ben even supplied a flavor-forward beer from Flatland Brewing to contrast with this week’s flavorless film.

Directed and co-written by stuntman Hal Needham, Megaforce stars a gravitas-free Barry Bostwick as paramilitary “hero” Ace Hunter, leader of a secret fighting force that makes no attempt at secrecy. This clumsy attempt to meld Reagan-era politics into a Mad Max meets Star Wars mashup is the opposite of badass. A 65-minute movie that is 99 minutes long, Megaforce feels like the unaired pilot for an unwatchable TV show. Meanwhile, the opening credits of Megaforce tout the use of Introvision and Zoptic, both presumably street words for cocaine.

Elsewhere, the group discusses laser labs, Skoal t-shirts, LBGTQ-friendly chutes, flying motorcycles, and thumbs-up kisses.

MEGAFORCE FACTS AND FIGURES

Theatrical release date: June 25, 1982

Domestic box office: $5.7 million (production budget: $20 million)

Critic scores: 0 on Rotten Tomatoes

This week’s craft beer: Flatland Brewing‘s Flannel Jacket (11.8% ABV)

This week’s darer: Dean Longenecker

Why did Dean dare Daniel and Corky to watch Megaforce? “Where to start? Barry Bostwick as an action star? Has the hair for it. Michael Beck as the sidekick? Also the hair for it. Persis Khambatta (with hair), Henry Silva, always awesome bad guy. The old guy from Knight Rider? Hal Needham directing? Five writers who tried to write an action movie, a cast who thought this a campy, spoof action flick. Pure money grab by the producers. Failed miserably. Action is OK, for the early 70s, but it’s made in the 80s. Gold lame bodysuits that are way too tight? The legendary motorcycle scene? Worth a review.”

IMDB synopsis: “Story about a rapid deployment defense unit that is called into action whenever freedom is threatened.”

This week’s referenced movies: Smokey and the Bandit movies; The Cannonball Run films; Hooper; Stroker Ace; The Rocky Horror Picture Show; E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial; Blade Runner; Rocky III; Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan; Poltergeist (1982); The Thing (1982); Inchon; Mad Max: Fury Road; The Empire Strikes Back; Duck Soup; Team America: World Police; The Birth of a Nation (1915); Kill Bill: Vol. 1; the Star Wars movies; The Wizard of Oz; Metropolis; The Neverending Story

RELATED CLIPS

Theatrical trailer for Megaforce

Introducing…Ace Hunter!

Flying motorcycle scene

Romantic parachuting scene

The opening sequence of Team America: World Police

Follow Dare Daniel on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Be sure to listen, rate, review and subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PlayerFM, a href="https://www.listennotes.

Forbidden Zone – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 61

“It’s an Elfman movie.  Who could ask for more?”

Recorded pre-quarantine, Daniel and Corky travel to the sixth dimension to review Forbidden Zone.  The film was a box office failure that found a long second life as a midnight movie.  But does Forbidden Zone deserve to stick around, or should we send it back up the anus of an underground giant?

In Richard Elfman’s gleefully transgressive, manic-deconstructionist vision, Susan Tyrell and Herve Villechaize rule the sixth dimension.  Crazy random shit cakes the walls of the film, including surreal music numbers, silent-movie intertitles, and noxious racial stereotypes.  It’s frequently offensive and never clever, but it remains a unique and strangely magical movie.

Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss local pimps, frog butlers, human chandeliers and electrified dildos.

NEW DARES

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (Ryan L. Terry)

Snowpiercer (Matthew Dougherty)

FORBIDDEN ZONE FACTS AND FIGURES

Critic scores: 89 on Rotten Tomatoes; 64 on Metacritic

This week’s craft beer: Heretic Brewing’s You Can’t Handle the Juice NE DIPA (8.5% ABV)

This week’s darer: Alex Shewmaker (with an assist from A Gal Walks Into a Comic Shop)

Why did Alex dare Daniel and Corky to watch Forbidden Zone? “Wow! Where to begin! Danny Elfman not only does the music but also plays satan in the “sixth dimension.” What more could you ask for!?!?”

IMDB synopsis: “The bizarre and musical tale of a girl who travels to another dimension through the gateway found in her family’s basement.”

This week’s referenced movies: The Beautician and the Beast; China Salesman; Parasite; Weird Science; Freeway; Tiptoes; The Rocky Horror Picture Show; Eraserhead; Pink Flamingos; Shock Treatment; Caligula; Hellzapoppin; The VelociPastor; Rock ‘n’ Roll High School; Sleepaway Camp; Rocky; The Godfather; The Godfather Part II; Citizen Kane;

Ratings: Daniel – Reverse Dare; Corky – Double Dare

RELATED CLIPS

Original trailer for Forbidden Zone

“Bim Bam Boom”

“Alphabet Song”

Opening scenes of Hellzapoppin

Follow Dare Daniel on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  Be sure to listen, rate, review and subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PlayerFM, a href="https://www.listennotes.

Cats (2019) – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 60

“Jellicle cats are simultaneously the most explained and unexplained things in the world.”

Daniel and Corky are sheltering in place, but the podcast goes on.  For their first quarantine episode, Daniel and Corky review Tom Hooper’s wretched musical adaptation of Cats (2019).

Inspired by a book of poems by T.S. Eliot and popularized by cocaine, Cats was always a triumph of spectacle over substance.  However, the film version ups the ante with nightmarish special effects that turn the actors into Humanimal hybrids straight out of Dr. Moreau’s laboratory.

A money pit of terrible ideas executed terribly, Cats (2019) stands as a monument to ineptitude and unimaginativeness.  Everything looks disturbingly wrong from the very first frame right through to the very last.  Meanwhile, the musty and forgettable songs nod to musical genres already outdated by the early 1980s.  In other words, if you like mangy cat-blobs singing mangy song-blobs, this is the film for you.

Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss pirate cats, butthole cuts, sexualized cockroaches and Chekhov’s catskin.

CATS (2019) FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: December 20, 2019

Domestic box office: $27 million (production budget: $95 million)

Critic scores: 20 on Rotten Tomatoes; 32 on Metacritic

This week’s craft beers: Urban Roots Brewing’s Isolate (Corky); Moksa Brewing’s Mostra 6 (Daniel)

IMDB synopsis: “A tribe of cats called the Jellicles must decide yearly which one will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new Jellicle life.”

This week’s referenced movies: The Lion King; Aladdin (1992); The King’s Speech; Les Misérables (2012); Star Wars: Rise of the Skywalker; The Phantom of the Opera; Memento; Glass; The Island of Dr. Moreau; Raiders of the Lost Ark; Black Panther; The Identical; Sexy Beast; Waiting for Guffman; The Running Man; Feds

Ratings: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Reverse Dare

RELATED CLIPS

Original theatrical trailer for Cats (2019)

The opening scene of Cats

Skimbleshanks the railway cat

Anne Hathaway snot-sings “I Dreamed a Dream”

Follow Dare Daniel on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  Be sure to listen, rate, review and subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PlayerFM, Listen Notes, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Castbox and more.  New episodes come out every other Tuesday!  Help support the show by clicking the Donate button on the Dare Daniel homepage, and a href="https://daredaniel.

Norbit – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 59

“Everything in this movie is so pathologically unclever.”

In this week’s episode, Daniel and Corky disappear into the roles of white, middle-aged podcast hosts with their review of the outrageously unfunny Norbit.

Eddie Murphy co-wrote and co-produced this series of fart and poop jokes, making Norbit one of the weirdest passion projects ever.  He also plays three roles, including the lifelong loser title character and Rasputia, his abusive wife.  Rasputia is fat, mean and destructive, essentially a human version of the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Her monstrousness is the film’s one joke, offered in endless non-variations.

The two saving graces to Norbit are Murphy’s go-for-broke performance, and the Oscar-nominated makeup work by Rick Baker and Kazuhiro Tsuji.  Otherwise, it’s a nonstop series of sloppily constructed comedy bits peopled with racist and misogynist caricatures. Norbit is a movie designed for children that no child should ever be allowed to watch.

Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss turkey ass, fart snores, power tap teachers and pimp-licious makeovers.

NEW DARES

Evan Almighty (Ben Parker)

Backdraft 2 (The Ghost of Bull McCaffrey)

NORBIT FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: Feb. 9, 2007

Domestic box office: $95.7 million (production budget: $60 million)

Critic scores: 9 on Rotten Tomatoes; 27 on Metacritic

This week’s craft coffee: Chapman Crafted Coffee’s First Roast (Single-Origin Guatemala)

This week’s darer: Mr. Positivity Wolfie T, host of the WTM – Watch This Movie podcast

Why did Wolfie T dare Daniel and Corky to watch Norbit? “Norbit is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen, but I only know about five people who have actually seen it. When I saw it in the theatre, my friend and I were the only ones there. When I mention it to people, I get eye rolls, groans, sarcastic laughs, and the most common comment is, “That movie sucks…I haven’t seen it.” No other movie podcast would dare touch this one, not even the one I co-host!”

IMDB synopsis: “A mild-mannered guy, who is married to a monstrous woman, meets the woman of his dreams, and schemes to find a way to be with her.”

This week’s referenced movies: The VelociPastor; Love on a Leash; Angels & Demons; Inferno; Fight Club; Bruce Almighty; Backdraft; Top Gun; the Nutty Professor movies; Boomerang; Harlem Nights; Ready to Rumble; Meet Dave; A Thousand Words; the Star Wars prequels; I Know Who Killed Me; Dreamgirls; the Madea movies; Coming to America; Forrest Gump; the Harry Potter movies; National Lampoon’s Animal House; Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas; E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial; Road House (1989); My Name Is Dolemite

Ratings: Daniel – Dare; Corky – Double Dare

RELATED CLIPS

Original theatrical trailer for Norbit

Rasputia at the waterpark

Marlon Wayans in Norbit

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