Dignities and Disasters Robert MacNaughton

Robert is joined by author, Integral philosophy teacher, and 40+ year veteran psychotherapist Dr. Keith Witt to explore a topic that is sometimes considered a “four letter word” in today’s culture—narcissism. Though typically thought of in narrowly defined terms, Dr. Keith Witt helps broaden our perspective through various lenses: historical, political, psychological, and Integral/developmental. Discover how there is both a narcissist and a wise self in all of us. Warning: this episode goes down some intellectual rabbit-holes as we Integral theory geeks tend to do.

Some of the topics we explore include:

- The Roman poet Ovid’s original portrayal of Narcissus

- Narcissistic traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

- The Trump phenomenon

- Authoritarian systems and narcissism

- Practices for authentic self-love

- The importance of having a sense of humour

Show notes:

1:49 - Introducing Dr. Keith Witt

4:28 - Ovid’s story of Narcissus

6:42 - Freud turns psychology into a science

10:03 - The introduction of the term “narcissism”

12:18 - Everything is relationships

15:13 - A limited number of therapy sessions with narcissists

18:54 - The difference between narcissistic traits and NPD

20:15 - The introduction of shame in children and regulation

22:14 - The Jean Piaget experiment for cognitive development

23:58 - All cultures have hierarchies

25:32 - Historical timeline of how humans developed self-awareness

27:48 - Historical figures throughout time who looked at the world through an Integral lens

29:15 - There is an epidemic of how we relate with mental illnesses

31:39 - Integral theory and Spiral Dynamics: Tribal

33:50 - Authoritarian systems and narcissism

34:43 - The Trump phenomenon

39:38 - How narcissism gets internalized at different stages of development

45:15 - Keith’s journey of learning about psychology

47:53 - The biggest blindspot in modern business is middle-management

49:24 - Regulation and the rock star/child celebrity example

52:32 - Service is one of the main vehicles out of narcissism

55:10 - Recovering from the addiction of narcissism

57:22 - Extreme opportunities to re-author self after traumatic events

1:01:25 - We are social beings

1:00:54 - Covert narcissism

1:02:34 - The importance of having a sense of humour, “hurts more, bothers us less”

1:04:47 - Using projection to help narcissists grow

1:05:24 - Looking in the mirror at both our strengths and weaknesses

1:06:04 - Different lines of development

1:06:50 - Maturity around protecting good, true, and beautiful assets like language

1:10:24 - There’s a wise self in all of us

1:11:07 - Giving feedback in a plus/delta format, focusing on strengths as well as weaknesses

Dr Keith Witt is a licensed clinical psychologist, lecturer and author dedicated to studying, teaching, and creating transformative healing systems. He’s been practicing psychotherapy in Santa Barbara, California for over 40 years, where he’s conducted over 55,000 therapy sessions with individuals, couples, and groups. Find his books, trainings, and more here: https://drkeithwitt.com/

Robert is joined by Jayson Gaddis—author, relationship expert, and coach who teaches people the one class they didn’t get in school--“How To Do Relationships.” He is the founder of The Relationship School training programs and podcast. Robert and Jayson discuss the pros and cons of relationship practices and help uncover ways that we both set ourselves up for success and failure in our relationships. Together they will take you on a journey considering some of the mechanics of what goes on in our relationships that are most important to us, whether those are professional working relationships, intimate partnerships, or at home with our kids. Are there reliable ways to work towards more health and intimacy even in the face of conflict? Jayson has a well-developed toolkit for success.

Show Notes

1:14 - Introducing Jayson Gaddis

4:16 - What is relationship practice?

4:40 - Listening in a way people feel understood, and can receive you

5:26 - All different levels of relationship

5:45 - High stakes relationships

7:00 - “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend the holidays with your family”

7:34 - The first step is not talking, it’s learning how to become a better listener

9:11 - “Captive audience,” “Monologers,” and active listening

12:34 - The disaster of feeling seen in workshops vs. not feeling seen at home

13:48 - “the authentic alien imposter” and setting better context

15:52 - Feedback and feedback for leaders

18:00 - Diversity, equity, and inclusion

19:07 - Feedback conversations as a habit and the “plus/delta” practice

20:11 - Positive versus Constructive feedback - coach John Wooden versus Bill Belicheck

22:58 - Hyper-vigilance to feel safe

24:09 - Some of us look for what’s wrong

24:45 - The “narcissistic partnerships”

25:29 - How do we know when to speak up about what’s not working?

27:09 - People don’t know how to get to a baseline of “good” and “safe”

28:54 - The work never stops.

29:19 - A collaborative partner with a growth-oriented mindset is important

30:55 - Getting to zero, aka a regulated nervous system

31:25 - Four ways we disconnect: posture, collapse, seek, avoid

33:06 - Zero is possible!

34:45 - Mutual power relationships

35:08 - Interactive regulation: I can help you regulate your nervous system

35:55 - How can you set your kids up for success to contribute to the dynamic?

39:02 - It all boils down to secure attachment

41:22 - Is there a core capability we can foster for success here?

42:48 - Secure attachment is created by the repair process after disconnection happens

43:07 - The Still Face Experiment with Dr. Edward Tronick

43:50 - Mom can’t attune to baby’s needs

45:40 - Box breathing: Allow your nervous system to move from sympathetic to parasympathetic

46:19 - Simple meditation— NESTR: Number, Emotion, Sensation, Thoughts, Resource

48:57 - The difference between Attachment Science and Attachment Parenting and Styles

51:09 - Kids emotions should not run the household

53:22 - Pitfall: “relationships are supposed to make us feel good”

54:13 - Pitfall: “conflict is not good”

55:50 - Importance of higher purpose

56:39 - Personal responsibility

58:21 - Gaddis’ new book: Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships

More from Jayson:
https://www.jaysongaddis.com/
https://relationshipschool.com/
https://www.instagram.com/jaysongaddis/
https://twitter.com/jaygaddis
https://www.facebook.com/jaysongaddisfanpage/

In this episode, Robert speaks with leadership coach Tripp Lanier to look at the quagmire of self-development -- particularly in leadership and “men’s work.” Between the space of forfeiting a sense of identity and needs and desires lies a balance where men get to be vulnerable and still sovereign. Can men walk this line with the proper intentions and a will to enjoy life at every turn? We explore all the challenges and blessings of self development. (Warning: this episode has some vulgar language)

Some of the topics we explore:

- Our most common excuses to avoid taking risks
- Laughing at our fears and shortcomings
- How to have the courage to share appreciation or constructive feedback
- What would you do if you could do whatever you wanted without consequences?
- Our inevitable mortality

Show Notes:

1:06 - Introducing Tripp

2:15 - The New Man Podcast

3:13 - Not only chasing spiritual development, looking for lasting change

5:25 - Anything can be turned into an escape

7:04 - Is fear good? Is fear used as an excuse for escape?

8:13 - Do I have to believe every fear I have?

8:36 - We’re trying hard to avoid our human experience

9:31 - Discernment around fear

11:08 - Chesterton’s Fence— do we jump over or respect the fence?

14:15 - The destructive impulse of the postmodern age

15:16 - The nuance of relationship

17:42 - Nice Guy Syndrome

18:35 - Posturing and collapsing

20:20 - Leading vs. waiting

21:11 - The fear of death

21:32 - When fear becomes noise

23:25 - These phantoms in our minds are gargoyles on the threshold

25:10 - Relief vs. peace of mind

27:17 - Saying “no” to one thing is really saying “yes” to what’s more in alignment

28:28 - Adding things vs. removing things

30:17 - Emotions as a doorway to information

30:57 - Freedom, aliveness, love, and peace

34:24 - The exoneration mindset

37:50 - Story from Invisibilia on oil rig workers

38:54 - The identity piece

43:07 - Moving the fear dial as a form of strength

49:00 - Fun as currency

51:05 - The antidote to fear is being bold

Robert is joined by Justin Ridgely to unpack the contentious field of Cryptocurrency. An illusive topic to many, Robert and Justin flesh out why cryptocurrency is simultaneously such an important evolutionary milestone in the modern world, while also posing deep concerns for how this particular phenomenon will impact people, culture, and the world.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this (or any) episode is financial advice. #nfa

Some of the topics we explore include:
- The principles and fundamental value-proposition of cryptocurrency
- ”Sound money” vs. state-backed fiat currency
- The drawbacks of "being your own bank" and other noteworthy concerns
- Crypto-mining and the environment (not an open and shut case)

Show Notes:
1:40 - Introducing Justin Ridgely
4:08 - Big pros of cryptocurrency
7:20 - At its core is the value of freedom
7:38 - “Sound money” as the opposite of state-backed currency
9:11 - Departure from the gold standard
11:16 - Implications of cryptocurrency being sound money
14:50 - Different categories of cryptocurrency
19:13 - Conversation around CBDCs
21:07 - The success of stable-coins
24:49 - Pros and cons of an evolving and growing infrastructure
26:18 - Crypto-banks, i.e. BlockFi
31:14 - This is not financial advice
32:00 - Ethereum and smart contracts
38:18 - Decentralized finance
48:00 - The cons of cryptocurrency
50:00 - The drawbacks of being your own bank
56:07 - Crypto mining and the environment
56:27 - Proof-of-work consensus
58:28 - Forcing the industry to look at using energy in a clean way
58:40 - Does this have enough utility to justify the environmental impact?
1:00:46 - There are more “disasters”...
1:01:00 - Scalability
1:04:49 - We are still in the early-adoption phase
1:07:44 - Common criticism of Ethereum: might be too expensive
1:08:30 - Scams
1:09:29 - Scams are separate from criminal activity, like ransomware
1:11:19 - And then there are scams, like “pump and dump” schemes
1:15:14 - Sometimes it’s not a conscious scheme, but then reality happens
1:17:43 - Regulation
1:19:19 - Anyone can have access to risky investments
1:20:00 - What’s the balance between protection and freedom?
1:21:27 - With radical freedom comes radical exposure
1:22:59 - Hopefully this will play out in a way that promotes compromise and collaboration
1:26:12 - Decentralized Autonomous Organizations (DAOs), from "Smart Money" to "Smart Companies"
1:28:50 - Do your own research (DYOR)
Justin Ridgely is currently Head of Finance and Operations at the Syndicate Project, and was recently Director of Operational Finance at BlockFi. Previously he was Director of Finance at Fundera, a fintech startup acquired by Nerdwallet.  Earlier in his career, Justin led his own startup, was an investment banker, and also served in the Army as an Infantry Officer. He holds a BA from Emory University and an MBA from the University of Virginia.

In episode#6 of Dignities and Disasters, Robert MacNaughton and Michael Porcelli tease out the good, the messy middle and the bad of conservatism. Often misconstrued to be aligned with right-wing politics, conservatism emphasizes the value of the past and the wisdoms accrued through it. Whether exploring the idiosyncrasies of folk tales, the quasi-colonialism of modern day politics’ foreign affairs or the inevitable Godwin’s Law, this episode will have you thinking.

Some of the topics we explore:

- The Conservative Disposition 
- Heuristics - our rules of thumb and passed down common sense
- Grandma’s Ham
- Chesterton’s Fence
- The Law of Unintended Consequences
- Nationalism
- Colonialism
- Fascism
- Religious Rule


Show Notes:

07:37 - The conservative disposition

08:20 - Heuristics

11:10 - Chesterton’s Fence

12:00 - Folk wisdom and rules of thumb

14:10 - Hesitate (Scruton’s slogan)

15:50 - Continuity

16:05 - Star Trek Prime Directive

17:02 - Unintended consequences

18:50 - Localism

20:00 - Duty and obligation

21:15 - Civility

23:00 - Moral foundations

24:30 - Tragic vision - Sowell/Pinker

29:40 - The messy middle

32:17 - Grandma’s ham

36:05 - Live caller #1

42:09 - The grapevine telephone

46:05 - Patriotism

46:35 - Enthocentricity

49:34 - Libertarianism

50:09 - Mistrust of experts and Populism

52:35 - Conservatism vs the Right

54:19 - Religious rule

55:07 - Reactionary and neo-reactionary conservatism

56:43 - Neo vs Paleo conservatism

57:33 - Imperialism and colonialism

58:35 - Isolationism

59:40 - Ethno nationalism

1:03:37 - Live caller #2

1:15:29 - Conclusion

Cartoon: Our Blessed Kingdom and Their Barbarous Wastes

References:

How to be a Conservative by Roger Scruton

Thomas Sowell - Conflict of visions

Jonathan Haidt -  The Righteous Mind (Moral Foundations theory)

Edmund Burke (1729-1797) - originator of political conservatism as a philosophy

In episode#5 of Dignities and Disasters, Robert MacNaughton and Dr. David Tusek embark on an exploration of the turbulent world of healthcare and share some visions for what's possible ahead. While the rage and disappointment can lead to despondency, healthcare workers are finding ways to get back to doing what they have always wanted to do--ensuring people have healthier lives. How can we extract the good from the broken and forge ahead with inspiration? Dr. Tusek seems to be several steps ahead of the pack.

Some of the topics we explore:

- A quick tour of the 3 "dominant logic systems": traditional/ethnocentric, modern/meritocratic, postmodern/pluralistic/progressive (developmental psychology, spiral dynamics, integral theory)
- Us vs Them - creating the right energy for change
- Dr. Tusek’s 10 Heartbreaks (full article here on CloudMedical.io)
- Pathogenic (disease-based) vs Salutogenic (health-based) healthcare
- The #1 cause of bankruptcy, the #3 cause of death, and the profession with the highest suicide rate
- Iatrogenesis - "Harm done by the healer"
- What does "holistic" healthcare look like?
- The Four Disconnections - Body, Higher Self, Relationships, and Nature
- 40/40/40: Produce local and reduce waste
- Direct Primary Care and the importance of the primary care relationship
- The system we need and the examples already in practice
- Ravel.health and a developing vision for the future of distributed (vs socialized) healthcare

Shownotes:

01:39 - Who is Dr. David Tusek
07:00 - Us vs Them
19:00 - Rage and the need to grieve
27:16 - The 10 Heartbreaks, or the 10 P's: Payment
40:20 - Practice
48:19 - Profit
52:57 - Power
58:17 - Potential
1:07:48 - Precision
1:12:00 - Perspicuity
1:14:04 - Privacy
1:16:38 - Personal Freedom
1:18:45 - Passion for Medicine
1:23:44 - Healthcare vs ‘Sick’care
1:24:39 - The Four Disconnections
1:30:30 - Farmers and food
1:35:43 - 40/40/40
1:39:21 - Ravel Health

David Z. Tusek, MD Founder / CEO
Dr. Tusek is a board-certified family physician who also has experience as an emergency room doctor. He is a member of the Academy of Sports Medicine, the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine, and the Institute of Functional Medicine. Dr. Tusek relishes the close connectivity with his Cloud DPC patients, whether they are training for the Olympics, dealing with an illness, or simply trying to lose a few pounds. He believes that enhancing your quality of life is just as important as extending the quantity of your years. Dr. Tusek combines expertise in advanced diagnostics and optimization of brain and body function using a broad-based approach, blending cutting edge technologies with a natural orientation.  He uses a wide variety of gentle, needle-based therapies to treat musculoskeletal and neuromuscular conditions and injuries (including PRP and botox). He performs various office-based surgeries, cryosurgeries, and treatments of minor trauma. In 2004, he became one of the first practitioners in Colorado to offer bio-identical hormone implants, and has been working closely with compounding pharmacies (those pharmacies that prepare personalized medications for patients), to provide the purest, most effective forms of natural therapies. In 2009, Dr. Tusek co-founded one of the nation’s first DPC programs, which he sold in 2016.  He then went on to launch Cloud Medical DPC, and currently oversees several other healthcare ventures including Cloud Collective.