4 min
Do youngsters hide truth from their parents? How can we create a deeper trusting relation with our children in all aspects? Sabina Rademacher - Love & Relating Snippets
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- Relationships
Recently a friend of mine wrote an article in Linkedin about her 15 year old daughter confessing that sexual activity of different degrees and recreational drugs is a normal part of school life for teenagers.
And yet they are all hiding this fact from their parents.
As a result, relationships at home are routinely dishonest. Young people feel they have to lie about what they’re doing and can’t discuss with parents what’s actually going on in their lives.
How sad is this?
I recall the time of my own kids being teenagers bringing all their friends, saying: “with my mum you can talk about anything”.
That 15 year old teenager also mentioned that her own parents’ readiness to acknowledge and talk about these realities was giving her a greater sense of maturity and balance in handling these aspects of her life.
Unfortunately, at home, parents still show a lack of trust towards their own children. They are trying to control and shut down the possibility of experimentation which makes their children more likely to experiment irresponsibly.
As a coach, I see that damage over and over again, caused through lack of trust by their own parents when my coachees were young.
Would it not be easier to support our children from early on?
To get the best results in our relationships with people old or young, we need honest communication, vulnerability and trust.
When we allow ourselves to speak to our own children about our own doubts, vulnerability confusion we might have experienced or still do, it creates trust.
And when we speak to them as someone who, however young and inexperienced, is capable of rational thought and spoken to accordingly, they become stable, happy and resilient. They develop trust in their own essential competence and ability to manage their own life.
The same is valid if we would allow us to have a dialogue with our children around the subject sexuality. Not the typical one, but a truthful one. Love and sex is what moves us the most in life. It’s one of the most important subjects of our life.
I keep wondering:
Why is this issue still such a sensitive issue between parents and children?
What about we parents become role models, supporting our children to an open, authentic and loving understanding of what love and sexuality means. Children who had parents talking with them about sexuality in ages between 7 to 10 are freer and more open to seek advice of their parents, even when they are older. They establish a deeper trust relationship with themselves, their parents and their future partner(s).
For that reason, I create a workshop called Love and Sex a dialogue for parents and children to create a new, deeper and trusting communication around this important issue in our life: LOVE
You can find more info on my web: https://www.sabinarademacher.com/love-and-sex-a-dialogue
Recently a friend of mine wrote an article in Linkedin about her 15 year old daughter confessing that sexual activity of different degrees and recreational drugs is a normal part of school life for teenagers.
And yet they are all hiding this fact from their parents.
As a result, relationships at home are routinely dishonest. Young people feel they have to lie about what they’re doing and can’t discuss with parents what’s actually going on in their lives.
How sad is this?
I recall the time of my own kids being teenagers bringing all their friends, saying: “with my mum you can talk about anything”.
That 15 year old teenager also mentioned that her own parents’ readiness to acknowledge and talk about these realities was giving her a greater sense of maturity and balance in handling these aspects of her life.
Unfortunately, at home, parents still show a lack of trust towards their own children. They are trying to control and shut down the possibility of experimentation which makes their children more likely to experiment irresponsibly.
As a coach, I see that damage over and over again, caused through lack of trust by their own parents when my coachees were young.
Would it not be easier to support our children from early on?
To get the best results in our relationships with people old or young, we need honest communication, vulnerability and trust.
When we allow ourselves to speak to our own children about our own doubts, vulnerability confusion we might have experienced or still do, it creates trust.
And when we speak to them as someone who, however young and inexperienced, is capable of rational thought and spoken to accordingly, they become stable, happy and resilient. They develop trust in their own essential competence and ability to manage their own life.
The same is valid if we would allow us to have a dialogue with our children around the subject sexuality. Not the typical one, but a truthful one. Love and sex is what moves us the most in life. It’s one of the most important subjects of our life.
I keep wondering:
Why is this issue still such a sensitive issue between parents and children?
What about we parents become role models, supporting our children to an open, authentic and loving understanding of what love and sexuality means. Children who had parents talking with them about sexuality in ages between 7 to 10 are freer and more open to seek advice of their parents, even when they are older. They establish a deeper trust relationship with themselves, their parents and their future partner(s).
For that reason, I create a workshop called Love and Sex a dialogue for parents and children to create a new, deeper and trusting communication around this important issue in our life: LOVE
You can find more info on my web: https://www.sabinarademacher.com/love-and-sex-a-dialogue
4 min