Episode 21: Dr.Rosie Book Club – Boundary Boss
For the summer, we’re shifting gears from our regular format to do a mini book club. In this episode I’m talking about key insights from a fabulous new book that just came out this year - Boundary Boss by Terri Cole. This topic is so relevant and important for many of the clients I serve and coach - and for me personally. Terri teaches from a simple but pivotal premise: without healthy boundaries, you can’t live an authentic and fulfilled life. And this is especially true today for women - although I see it in men (and men can benefit from this book as well). I reflect on some key aspects of the book that I see as universal for so many human beings, why it matters and things to think about. I hope you gain some useful insights from this episode and would love to hear your thoughts as you read the book yourself.
About the Book: Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (FINALLY) Live Free
Boundary Boss is a comprehensive guide for courageous women (and yes, this works for men too) who want to master creating and maintaining healthy boundaries and are committed to creating healthy relationships and extraordinary lives. It teaches a specific set of skills to help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others without all the guilt and drama.
Terri Cole lays out the specific set of skills to help you stop living out disordered boundary behaviors that do not serve you, express yourself authentically, and finally step into your own power. The techniques, tools and strategies in this book will take you on a journey that will align your choices and boundary behaviors with your most authentic self and exercise personal agency.
If you struggle with the disease to please, overgiving, perfectionism, codependency, exhaustion, low-key anger, resentment or bitterness, this book is definitely for you. Boundary Boss walks you through a step-by-step process to FREE you from the deeply embedded, self-sabotaging patterns keeping you stuck so you can finally create real, sustainable change. One right action at a time. You’ll become more conscious of your behaviors and true feelings, uncover any corrupted data driving your choices, and become fluent in the language of healthy boundaries.
Why this book is worth reading :
In the work I do every day in helping individuals and teams show up more courageously and effectively, I see issues with boundaries. In fact, I don’t think a day goes by where I don’t have the boundary strengthening conversation with at least one person. It’s a HUMAN experience to struggle with healthy boundaries. Yet, it’s so critical to our own livelihood, effectiveness and even trustworthiness. I also saw myself in a lot of this book; I was able to acknowledge and celebrate how far I’ve come (recognizing in years past I was a boundary disaster) and see where I still have work I can do.
I love that Terri Cole doesn’t sugar-coat things and invites you into the messy middle with the difficult task of looking inward and recognizing our limiting beliefs and maladaptive behaviors we carry into adulthood from our inner child’s need for self-protection and belonging. And she doesn’t leave you hanging there; she provides concrete steps, sample conversation starters and more to dealing with all kinds of situations and people. She also authentically shares her own struggles and journey along with several of her clients to humanize the Boundary Boss journey. I’ve already recommended it to several of my coaching clients to supplement the work we’ve already had underway.
Points to think on while reading :
* How skilled are you at your own body wisdom? What do you need to start paying more attention to hear what your body is telling you?
* Are there specific types of people or relationships in your life where...