A Fine Balance: a podcast that explores how to find a work-life balance that works for you Dalya Wittenberg

This Work, Life, Balance Lesson is all about finding a balance between work and everything else in life when you hate your job.
 
Now, hate is a strong word, which I don’t use lightly. In this case, it’s a direct quote from people I’ve interviewed on this podcast who have talked about this exact thing. And it’s right that it’s a strong word because when you don’t like the work you do, it has an incredibly strong impact.
 
A person’s job is often the benchmark against which people measure their value and identity, as well as being a means to pay the bills and put food on the table. Regardless of the number of hours spent working, feeling like you hate your job will inevitably impact your sense of balance detrimentally.
 
In this episode, “hating your job” is categorised into three depths of feeling:

1. Rock bottom: a whole hearted hatred, which likely leads to a crisis point.

2. A mid-depth where you might hate aspects of your job, or your chosen career, but not all of it.

3. A shallow level of hatred, perhaps better termed as “not loving your job”. Here, you may feel uninspired or excited by your work, but you recognise the limits of its value to you, and other aspects of life compliment the job to make it more tolerable.

Throughout the episode I share some examples that have featured on the podcast that relate to each of those levels of “depth” of hating your job, and share some of the actions that have helped people regain their balance in those situations.

Here are links to some of the Work-Life Balance stories featured on the blog or podcast, 'A Fine Balance', which are referenced throughout this episode:

On Marketing, Corporate Cultures, Having Fun, and Asking for Help - Dan's Story: https://a-fine-balance.com/2024/05/22/on-marketing-corporate-cultures-having-fun-and-asking-for-help-new-podcast-episode-out-now-featuring-dan-knowlton/

On Teenage Pregnancy, Teacher Burnout & Finding Balance When You’re “Busy” - Laura’s Story: https://a-fine-balance.com/2023/05/26/a-fine-balance-the-podcast-season-2-episode-5-out-now/

On Part-Time Working Fatherhood, Perfectionism & Finding Balance When Living with Cancer - Sam’s Story: https://a-fine-balance.com/2023/12/18/a-fine-balance-the-podcast-season-2-episode-8-out-now/

Finding Balance in Retirement: Tom’s Story – on Empathy, Leadership & Passion for your Vocation: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/ulx9EoIO0Jb

“It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way” – Finding Balance by Setting Precedents: Katherine’s Story – on setting work-life boundaries as a legal professional & sharing the workload in marriage: https://a-fine-balance.com/2022/04/01/it-doesnt-have-to-be-that-way-finding-balance-by-setting-precedents-katherines-story-on-setting-work-life-boundaries-as-a-legal-professional-sharing/

On Not Being Career-Oriented & Finding Balance as a Musician and a Newlywed - Amanda's Story: https://a-fine-balance.com/2023/02/03/its-official-season-two-of-a-fine-balance-the-podcast-is-live/

This podcast episode features Dan Knowlton, a marketing professional, business owner, and
podcast co-host.

Our conversation covers the pursuit of balance and…

📈Being a marketing professional and business owner

🌆Corporate working cultures

😊Having fun both in and outside work

👬Sibling dynamics

👤Fatherhood and being the parent in a partnership that doesn’t carry the mental load

💪🏼Going to the gym

To read more about my interview with Dan, go to: www.a-fine-balance.com/podcast

(https://a-fine-balance.com/2024/05/22/on-marketing-corporate-cultures-having-fun-and-asking-for-help-new-podcast-episode-out-now-featuring-dan-knowlton/)


You can find out more about Dan and his brother Lloyd's agency Knowlton, and their podcast Business Anchors, at www.knowltonmarketing.co.uk.

Housework is an unavoidable, time-consuming labour-intensive reality of adulthood. Whether you own your own home or rent, live alone, with friends, strangers or family members, the house-keeping tasks that make a house a home need doing.

The part that home-making plays in a person’s work-life balance varies from person to person. The subject of “domesticity” doesn’t always come up when I interview people about how they balance their work with everything else in their life.

For some, home-making forms part of a person’s ambition; for others it’s a chore that stokes up emotions of guilt and resentment. For others it just doesn’t come up as part of the work-life balance equation.

In this ‘Work, Life, Balance Lessons’ episode, I share a summary of the lessons I’ve learned about the impact that house-keeping, home-making, and domesticity have on the pursuit of balance.

Below are links to the blog posts and podcast episodes referenced in this episode:


Finding Balance When the ‘To-Do List’ is Never Done: Kerry’s Story on Solo Motherhood, Job-Sharing, and the Lure of the Expatriate Lifestyle: https://a-fine-balance.com/2023/06/07/finding-balance-when-the-to-do-list-is-never-done-kerrys-story-on-solo-motherhood-job-sharing-and-the-lure-of-the-expatriate-lifestyle/


“Stay at home, Mum”: Nadine’s Story – on opting out of a career path & valuing a mother’s presence: https://a-fine-balance.com/2021/11/16/stay-at-home-mum-nadines-story-on-opting-out-of-a-career-path-valuing-a-mothers-presence/


Ali’s Story – Artistic License: When ‘work’ is life, and ‘life’ is work – Dyslexia and the Trappings of Domesticity: https://a-fine-balance.com/2021/02/24/alis-story/.


Sarah’s Story – Motherhood and the Mental Load: marriage, self-employment and primary care-giving: https://a-fine-balance.com/2020/10/14/sarahs-story-motherhood-and-the-mental-load-marriage-self-employment-and-primary-care-giving/.
'A Fine Balance - The Podcast', Season 1: Episode 5:
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dalya-wittenberg2/episodes/Sarahs-Story-on-marriage--self-employment--primary-care-giving---Motherhood--the-Mental-Load-e1d1126


'A Fine Balance - The Podcast', Season 3:Episode 4: On Housekeeping, Middle Age, and the Pursuit of Balance When Your Marriage Comes to an End – Helen’s Story
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dalya-wittenberg2/episodes/On-Housekeeping--Middle-Age--The-Pursuit-of-Balance-When-Your-Marriage-Ends---Helens-Story-e2ffml8




'A Fine Balance - The Podcast', Season 3:Episode 2: Finding Balance by Turning Your Passion into a Side Hustle: Bettina’s Story - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dalya-wittenberg2/episodes/Finding-Balance-by-Turning-Your-Passion-into-a-Side-Hustle---Bettinas-Story-e2ea401

The tiresome chores required to maintain a house and sustain the lives within it are more than the sum of their parts. They create a home, and a safe and comfortable haven, both for individuals and for raising a family.

Do they, therefore, fall under the “work” or “home” sides of the work-life balance equation?They certainly often feel like work. Hard work. Yet, they’re unpaid and occupy the time spent when not “at work”.

This podcast episode, features the writer and “home worker” Helen Hayward. In this episode, we discuss:

📕 Helen’s new book, which challenges criticisms of domesticity from the likes of feminist icons like Simone de Beauvoir.


🧚‍♂️ The “Cinderella” moments of being a career-oriented mother and a home-maker.


👵🏼 The pursuit of balance when you are caring for ageing parents as well as a family home and children.


💍 The pursuit of balance when your marriage comes to an end.


👩‍👧Mother-daughter dynamics and finding balance as you seek your own path, and experience rejection.


🧽 Finding meaning and creativity in housework, housekeeping, and home-making - all the “work” that makes a house a home. Some tips, tricks, and inspiration to find your balance when this is part of your “job” and identity.


🙏🏼 The meaning of life.

You can read more about my interview with Helen at www.a-fine-balance.com/podcast.

What did you learn from your parents about the way they worked when you were growing up?
Did their work-life balance approach inspire you to follow in their footsteps? Or did it have the opposite effect and encourage you to do things differently?
In turn as a parent yourself, how do you think the values you place on your work are internalised by your children? Does it matter?
In this short Work, Life Balance Lesson segment I try to unpack this knotty subject of parent-child dynamic through sharing examples of the observations I've made on the subject, and reaching some concluding lessons that have stayed with me from all those conversations.
Here are the links to some of the interviews referenced in this episode, and you can access the full catalogue of 'A Fine Balance' interviews at www.a-fine-balance.com.

"Parent Power" blog post: https://a-fine-balance.com/2021/04/19/parent-power/

"Matthew’s Story: The Work-Life Balance Logic of a Full-Time NHS Key Worker – It’s a Science, not an Art": https://a-fine-balance.com/2020/12/23/matthews-story-work-life-balance-logic-its-a-science-not-an-art/

Jhilmil’s Story – “My Work, My Identity”: on competitiveness, co-parenting & surviving job loss:
https://a-fine-balance.com/2021/08/30/a-fine-balance-the-podcast-episode-2-out-now/

"On Not Being Career-Oriented and Finding Balance as a Musician and a Newlywed": https://a-fine-balance.com/2023/02/03/its-official-season-two-of-a-fine-balance-the-podcast-is-live/


"Finding Balance in Retirement: Tom’s Story – on Empathy, Leadership & Passion for your Vocation": https://a-fine-balance.com/2022/06/18/a-fine-balance-the-podcast-episode-8-out-now/


"Soli’s Story – “Sunny-Side Up, Please”: Self-Care for Caring Professionals, Finding Balance in Mid-Life & Staying Positive When the Course of Motherhood Doesn’t Run Smooth": https://a-fine-balance.com/2021/07/26/happy-1st-birthday-a-fine-balance/.


"Tahmid’s Story – Ethnic minority beginnings, burnout and career change": https://a-fine-balance.com/2021/09/29/a-fine-balance-the-podcast-episode-3-out-now/

My guest this episode is Rami Madbouli, who, at the time of this podcast recording, was working as a Private Secretary to Ministers in the UK Government’s Department of Health & Social Care.

Rami’s 90:10 work:life ratio is the highest figure weighting on the work side that has featured on ‘A Fine Balance’. And whilst this is a work-life balance that – on the whole – works well for Rami, he says that he usually finds that it's met with disapproval.


That Rami applies a 90:10 figure on his work:life ratio was, as always, just a starting point to our conversation. In the process, we touch on:


What it’s like when you feel proud and motivated by the mission of your work, even if you’re not paid any extra for working more than your contracted hours;
Work being something that identifies who you are at any given stage in life;
Finding balance in a relationship when both partners are career-oriented and ambitious;
Making work-life balance choices that deviate from what’s considered “normal” by your peers both in and outside of work;
Modelling your work-life balance choices according to your upbringing, and opting to make choices different to those that your parents made when you were growing up; and
Rami’s tips for squeezing more into one day than you may have thought possible.



At the heart of his story though, was Rami’s description of being an introvert, and how he recharges his energy by spending time alone rather than by surrounding himself with other people. This provided a rich, and essentially logical, backdrop to the hours that Rami chooses to dedicate to his work, and, indeed, how he chooses to spend his time outside of work too.

To read more about my interview with Rami and with those other people mentioned on this podcast episode, go to: www.a-fine-balance.com/podcast.