4 episodes

When you’re on the foster and adoption journey, marriage can get super challenging. This show is meant to help you rebuild or strengthen your marriage so you can be the parents your foster or adopted children need you to be.

Fostering Marriage Joel & MaryBeth Fortner

    • Kids & Family
    • 4.3 • 4 Ratings

When you’re on the foster and adoption journey, marriage can get super challenging. This show is meant to help you rebuild or strengthen your marriage so you can be the parents your foster or adopted children need you to be.

    How to support each other in the struggles of fostering

    How to support each other in the struggles of fostering

    In this episode, we’re talking about supporting each other in the struggles of fostering in a wholistic perspective.
    1. Physical
    Home life (chores, responsibilities, etc. )
    Foster duties such as insurance, appointments, etc.
    The spouse who’s NOT taking on more task encouraging the other to take a break
    Keeping health and fitness a priority
    Keeping intimacy a priority

    2. Spiritual
    Keeping relationship with God THE priority as individuals
    Praying together
    Practicing faith - speak to trusting God when you don’t know something is going to go
    Examples - the future of the kids, will we lose them, will this adoption happen

    3. Mental/Emotional
    Doing the things that replenish and rejuvenate you
    When you’re struggling with a super difficult child
    Practicing living with suffering and daily dying to self
    When you’re struggling with losing a child
    Seeking help if you need it
    Important of grace

    Your support of each other is more powerful when you’re supporting the whole person.

    • 45 min
    How to make fostering fit your marriage (not the other way around)

    How to make fostering fit your marriage (not the other way around)

    It’s easy in fostering to lose focus on making your marriage the higher priority. Learn how to change that mindset and keep your marriage priority #1.
    IntroductionToday we’re talking about making foster parenting fit your marriage, not the other way around.
    What holds couples back from keeping their marriage the higher priority:
    We place more importance on fostering than the marriage
    Seeking worth from fostering and your kids
    If your beliefs (possibly driven by lies, assumptions, “kids are more important”, etc) then your decision/behaviors will follow those beliefs
    Fostering being possibly the only important thing you have in common
    Therefore, it’s what you talk about and focus on constantly

    2 keys to keeping your marriage the higher priority:
    Key #1 - Mindset
    Both people actually believe that the marriage is more important
    Beliefs:
    It’s critical to lead and shepherd your family
    It’s our job to make our kids healthy, strong, and good decision makers
    Our family will do better when we’re unified
    Every team needs 1 leader and the more unified you are, it’s as if there’s only 1 leader (but we bring different gifts and talents to the family)
    Communication is better
    Gives the kids more consistency and therefore, security and stability

    Key #2 - Healthy accountability
    Healthy accountability is lovingly helping someone succeed
    In this case, it’s to succeed in marriage and as parents
    Discuss what holds people back from having healthy accountability
    Taking things personally
    Pride
    Defensiveness
    Fear
    Making assumptions
    Not asking questions
    Losing worth in the discussion
    Feeling out of control
    Approaching your spouse in a loving way to discuss the problem
    Humility and practicing receiving what your spouse is saying

    ConclusionTwo BIG keys to make foster parenting fit your marriage, not the other way around.
    Mindset
    Healthy accountability

    • 34 min
    How to keep or create unity

    How to keep or create unity

    In a Fostering Marriage, you’re faced with stressors, emotional struggles and hard decisions that can chip away at unity. Learn how to keep or create unity in the midst of challenges.
    IntroductionIf you listened to Episode 0, welcome back and we’re thrilled you’re here!
    If you didn’t listen to episode 0, go listen because we share a little about why we’re doing this show and who we are

    In this episode, we’re talking about how to keep or create unity in a Fostering Marriage
    Why is this so important?
    What holds couples back from greater unity?

    Key #1 - Prioritizing connection
    Create the time and space away from the kids to…
    How couples drift away from prioritizing connection…
    What happens when we don’t connect as couples
    Key #2 - Quality communication
    We’re gonna talk a ton about communication on this show….
    We're gonna talk a lot about personality styles and communication…
    The point we want to make today is constantly work on your communication…
    Slow down and practice patience
    Pay attention to your tone - being careful of accusations/ controlling in how you speak
    Gain perspective/Ask questions
    Remember you’re on the same team

    Key #3 - Be generous to each other
    What does that mean?
    Giving, sacrificing, not being selfish

    Being graceful and understanding of each other’s struggles
    Be generous in how you view the other person
    Shut down judgment, bitterness, resentment, victim mentality
    Serve each other
    Not everything has to be compromise…

    ConclusionThree keys to focus on to keep or create unity are:
    Prioritize connection
    Quality communication
    Be generous to each other

    • 29 min
    What the Fostering Marriage podcast is all about

    What the Fostering Marriage podcast is all about

    Welcome to the Fostering Marriage podcast! We hope you’re having a fabulous day where you are!
    This is your hosts, Joel and MaryBeth Fortner.
    We’ve been married for over 12 years and for 3 years we’ve been on the fostering and adoption journey.
    We’re starting this show to specifically help couples who are also on this journey, no matter where they are.
    One of our top goals for this show is to help couples keep their marriage priority #1 or help couples rebuild their marriage and make it #1 again.
    Some other goals are:
    Give couples tools to improve their communication
    Help people overcome what holds them back personally
    Better navigate the stressors and challenges of fostering together
    Be more on the same page, make better decisions together, and become more unified

    We’ve been blessed to have people and resources in our lives that have...
    …helped us heal over things in our personal lives,
    …grow in self awareness,
    …achieve a great marriage and grow even closer together over the last 3 years of fostering.
    We’ve learned that many marriages struggle so much due to stressors that come with fostering and couples aren't equipped to protect their marriages.
    We want to do something about that. This show is a first step.
    We hope you’re interested in listening and more importantly, learning, growing and putting in the work to improve your Fostering Marriage.
    Join us on episode 1 where we dive into How To Create and Keep Unity.

    • 11 min

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5
4 Ratings

4 Ratings

Mattg43 ,

More Scripture please

Episodes 1 and 2, lots of broad “Christian” ideas but not tied directly to scripture!

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