42 episodes

A podcast about friendship. Friendshipable--having the power, skill, means, or opportunity to have the emotions or conduct of friends or to create the state of being friends. Hosted by Terri + Manya (co-founders of Project BFF) and containing conversations about friends, friendships, and friendship-adjacent topics, with occasional interviews or solo episodes in the mix.

Friendshipable Terri + Manya

    • Society & Culture

A podcast about friendship. Friendshipable--having the power, skill, means, or opportunity to have the emotions or conduct of friends or to create the state of being friends. Hosted by Terri + Manya (co-founders of Project BFF) and containing conversations about friends, friendships, and friendship-adjacent topics, with occasional interviews or solo episodes in the mix.

    42: Long distance friendships

    42: Long distance friendships

    From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya riff about long distance friendships.

    How do you stay connected with friends who live far away? Is there extra work to stay connected? Just because there may be a limited amount of time you can spend in real life with you friend, doesn't mean you can't still do things together. Research shows that friendships can flourish even without in person interactions.

    Also, we end with the slightly alarming thought, which we will pick up in a future episode and examine in more detail: "We replace half our close friends every seven years. The ones who tend to make it are the ones we figure out how to maintain past changes.” (Shasta Nelson, friendship expert and author of  Frientimacy)
     Resources:
    Long distance friendships take work, by Kensey Gidick, on the Today Show4 tips to stay connected to friends who live far away, by Kavitha George and Clare Marie Schneider, on NPR*****Friendshipable is brought to you by Project BFF.  We love sharing content with you about friends and friendships.  Support us on Patreon and get video versions of our podcast, and other fun rewards. Share the love: subscribe to Friendshipable in your favorite podcast app,  tell your friends about us, and rate us on Apple podcasts.
    Support the show

    • 23 min
    41: How many friends can I really have?

    41: How many friends can I really have?

    From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya riff about the so-called Dunbar number--that describes the numerical limits on how many connections an individual can have.

    The conversation centers around Robin Dunbar, Emeritus Professor of Evolutionary Psychology at Oxford University. Based on his research, he believes the size of the neocortex in our brains is linked to the size of a cohesive social group--that ratio limits the complexity of the social systems we can handle.

    According to his theory:
    5 loved ones15 good friends50 friends150 meaningful contacts500 acquaintances1,500 people you can recognizeResources we discuss:
    You Can Only Maintain So Many Close Friendships, Sheon Han in The AtlanticDunbar's number: Why we can only maintain 150 relationships, BBCFriends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships by Robin Dunbar*****Friendshipable is brought to you by Project BFF.  We love sharing content with you about friends and friendships.  Support us on Patreon and get video versions of our podcast, and other fun rewards. Share the love: subscribe to Friendshipable in your favorite podcast app,  tell your friends about us, and rate us on Apple podcasts.
    Support the show

    • 24 min
    40: Traveling with friends

    40: Traveling with friends

    From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya riff about traveling with friends.

    Fresh from a trip abroad with some friends, Terri shares about her experiences. And we discuss mistakes to avoid--like expecting one person to plan everything, not talking about money, or making decisions when hangry.

    Sign up for the Friendshipable cafe to continue this conversation in an Zoom call on Wed May 18, 7:00-8:00 pm ET.

    Resources we mention:
    12 Mistakes to Avoid When Traveling with Friends, by Valerie Wheatle
    10 Tips For Traveling With Friends, Geoffrey Morrison, Forbes
    *****Friendshipable is brought to you by Project BFF.  We love sharing content with you about friends and friendships.  Support us on Patreon and get video versions of our podcast, and other fun rewards. Share the love: subscribe to Friendshipable in your favorite podcast app,  tell your friends about us, and rate us on Apple podcasts.
    Support the show

    • 25 min
    39: What is a friend?

    39: What is a friend?

    From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya riff about the definition of a friend.

    Thirty-nine episodes in and we decided to the word friend.  Merriam-Webster defines a friend as: one attached to another by affection or esteem.

    Friends are people you can share intimacies and experiences with, and you are an important part of each other's lives.  There are two key elements of a friendship--interdependence and voluntary participation.

    Types of friendship:
    Acquaintance -- feel comfortable with, but probably don't make plans with, work friends and neighbors often all into this categoryCasual friend -- feel comfortable meeting one on one, feel emotionally attached toClose friend -- spend time with regularly, can depend onIntimate friend -- similar to a close friend, usually someone you've spent even more time with and can share almost anything.
    One study found that the difference between friends and acquaintances is that we reveal much more of ourselves to a friend than an acquaintance. And we try harder to impress acquaintances than friends.
    Resources we talk about:
    11 Qualities of a Good Friend & Ways to Be An Even Better One, on MindBodyGreen
    Acquaintance versus friend, on SocialPro
    What is friendship?, How Stuff Works
    *****Friendshipable is brought to you by Project BFF.  We love sharing content with you about friends and friendships.  Support us on Patreon and get video versions of our podcast, and other fun rewards. Share the love: subscribe to Friendshipable in your favorite podcast app,  tell your friends about us, and rate us on Apple podcasts.
    Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/projectbff)

    • 22 min
    38: How can I leave a group of friends?

    38: How can I leave a group of friends?

    From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya riff about how to leave a group of friends.

    Tips for leaving a group of friends:
    You can make it quick, like pulling off a bandage, or slow and steady, where you spend less time with these friendsBe honest and respect their feelings, but it may also require tact. Sometimes vague (and honest) answers or explanations may be the best option.Friends may try to bring you back into the fold. If there is a chance (i.e., changed behavior means you want to stay with the group) then be open about what you need. If you need to leave (for whatever reason including if the group is a bad influence or they don't treat you well), stand your ground.As with so many things relationship related, these may be easier said then done.
    Groups of friends are fabulous. Check out episode 37, the opposite of this one, in which we talked about joining a group of friends.

    Resources
    How to leave a group of friends, WikiHow
    *****Friendshipable is brought to you by Project BFF.  We love sharing content with you about friends and friendships.  Support us on Patreon and get video versions of our podcast, and other fun rewards. Share the love: subscribe to Friendshipable in your favorite podcast app,  tell your friends about us, and rate us on Apple podcasts.
    Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/projectbff)

    • 25 min
    37: How do I join a group of existing friends?

    37: How do I join a group of existing friends?

    From Project BFF, Terri + Manya riff about how to join a group of existing friends.

    It is easy to feel intimidated when trying to join a group of existing friends. They already know each other--will they be welcoming of a newcomer?  How can you get to know the people involved?

    Like all friendships, building friendships with a group will take time and effort. Also, every group has its own personality and you will need to figure it out to see if you fit in. Some groups are close knit and may be harder to break into because they aren't looking to expand. Other groups may be loosely connected and more open to.

    How to join the group:
    Get to know one or two individuals first, rather than trying to get to know everyone at once. You may naturally gravitate toward some people over others in the group.Make conversation with as many people in th group as possible.Think about what brought the group together and what your shared interests are--that is the low hanging fruit for starting conversations and building shared experiences.Focus on the environment and the group, instead of being inside your own head and worrying about whether or not you fit in.Resources we mention:
    How to join an existing group of friends, at SocialPro
    How to join an existing group of friends, at SucceedSocially
    *****Friendshipable is brought to you by Project BFF.  We love sharing content with you about friends and friendships.  Support us on Patreon and get video versions of our podcast, and other fun rewards. Share the love: subscribe to Friendshipable in your favorite podcast app,  tell your friends about us, and rate us on Apple podcasts.
    Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/projectbff)

    • 24 min

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