How can we put into words our deepest sorrow, grief may be like a deep cut Good Grief Relief

How many times will we be asked, how are you? And then end up consoling the consoler How can we put into words one of the deepest and most profound losses we may ever experience.
When someone we love dies, grief is unavoidable, unpredictable, and possibly like having a deep cut that even when you tear the band aide off, it still weeps and is rather raw when touched.
NOTE: this podcast contains a meditation, so never listen this a meditation when you are operating a moving vehicle
So, how can we ease the healing journey, on those days when we are feeling down.
From where I stand, I believe self care is a perfect solution.
So, let’s take a moment to think of self care in a different way.
I would like you to imagine, because you probably already know that putting a “large yellow sticky” over your fuel gage would not be a great plan. It could lead to you to being stranded on a rainy day, out of gas and definitely not where you were intending to go today.
But we, as women as notorious for “running ourselves out of gas”!
So, I ask y’all to check that gage today Someone said to me the other day. We are meant to give the best of ourselves to the world, NOT THE REST OF OURSELVES
And I get it, because when I am a “giver” I love to give, but how much can we give when we feel depleted?
When I was feeling the initial deep sense of loss, I hunkered down. I could hardly breath let alone, think of much of anything.
So I engaged in small steps. Savouring long hot soaks in calming aroma scented water, that didn’t care if I added a few salty tears of my own.
Time gazing at the expansive ocean, watching clouds filter past my views and ocean breeze through my mind. Immersed daily in the musky scent of deep nettled carpeted forest trails. Tuning into restful and calm audio books with an overtone of birdsongs high overhead.
But it was the day of Willis’s celebration of Life, that I fully embraced the power of self care to create the experience I desired.
I had a deep need to speak without melting down into a puddle of tears. And I didn’t know if I was up to it. It was still so painful, yet I needed to make the effort. No regrets So, I set aside time for myself before guests arrived, to set myself up for success. And that meant focussing on my outcome, for being able to speak clearly, feel confident, calm and in control.
I felt I could accomplish my desire by engaging in 30 minutes of self care.
That meant unapologetically leaving all the family to continue to do the final prep.
Lots was happening.
In a hot dry summer with months without rain, June 5 was torrential.
Tarps were being raised, location for electronics, mics, speaker were being moved, Table flipped up and all the cloths, glass wear, drinks, sandwiches all being manages by twenty or more beautiful souls. All as the heavens opened and deluged us all.
In the flurry of activity, I simply turned away, closed the door to my bathroom and started to pour a hot steamy bath. As the water fell, I began toy focus inward.
I always begin with breath.
So if you would like to join me now; find a comfortable place to sit and relax where you know you will not be disturbed for 10 minutes
And always remeber never listen to these recording when operating a moving vehicle
Begin by drawing your attention towards your breath.
Pushing hearing outward to whatever is pulling your attention outward. What is the farthest thing away you can hear?
Maybe it is people talking, the sound of a car, laughter, a TV in another room, a bird, a dog barking, the fridge turning on, someone else running water at the kitchen sink. Moving your attention inward like a balloon losing air and shrinking smaller, until what you hear is the sound of your breath.
Tuning in further, breath being pulled in through your nose.
Listen to your lungs expand
Wait for the beat of your heart and rush blood pumping outward into arteries, pulsing into capillary and eavesdropping on the oxygen fill