60 episodes

The “How Can I Say This…” podcast offers tips and advice for interpersonal communications challenges, such as difficult conversations, conflict, giving and receiving feedback, negotiating, and other situations where what you say and how you say it makes all the difference.
Your host is Beth Buelow, PCC, founder of ZOPA Consulting and author of “The Introvert Entrepreneur: Amplify Your Strengths and Create Success on Your Own Terms.” Beth’s credentialed professional coach and trained mediator. She loves finding the “Zone of Possible Agreement” (ZOPA!) in any situation that comes her way. She hosted The Introvert Entrepreneur Podcast from 2010-2018.
In every episode of "How Can I Say This...", you’ll find ideas about how to handle your communication conundrums; tips on feeling more confident and comfortable with conflict; opportunities to learn from real-life situations through questions shared by listeners; and ultimately, gain skills and techniques for dealing with sticky situations at work and home. Of course, we can’t be all talk and no action; each show will end with an invitation to try a particular technique or approach that came up in the episode.
Episodes will feature a mixture of commentary, listener questions, and expert guest interviews and contributions. The scope of conversation will evolve over time… we’re open to seeing where this goes. Thanks for joining us on the journey!

How Can I Say This... Beth Buelow

    • Society & Culture

The “How Can I Say This…” podcast offers tips and advice for interpersonal communications challenges, such as difficult conversations, conflict, giving and receiving feedback, negotiating, and other situations where what you say and how you say it makes all the difference.
Your host is Beth Buelow, PCC, founder of ZOPA Consulting and author of “The Introvert Entrepreneur: Amplify Your Strengths and Create Success on Your Own Terms.” Beth’s credentialed professional coach and trained mediator. She loves finding the “Zone of Possible Agreement” (ZOPA!) in any situation that comes her way. She hosted The Introvert Entrepreneur Podcast from 2010-2018.
In every episode of "How Can I Say This...", you’ll find ideas about how to handle your communication conundrums; tips on feeling more confident and comfortable with conflict; opportunities to learn from real-life situations through questions shared by listeners; and ultimately, gain skills and techniques for dealing with sticky situations at work and home. Of course, we can’t be all talk and no action; each show will end with an invitation to try a particular technique or approach that came up in the episode.
Episodes will feature a mixture of commentary, listener questions, and expert guest interviews and contributions. The scope of conversation will evolve over time… we’re open to seeing where this goes. Thanks for joining us on the journey!

    Ep60: Ending the Shame Game

    Ep60: Ending the Shame Game

    You’ve messed up. You feel embarrassed, you know what you did was a mistake, and you own up to it. You say you’re sorry. And even though you acknowledge it, the other person still wants to chew you out. They want to make sure you know how badly you’ve screwed up. It feels terrible, and you shut down.
    Our question this episode: what’s the harm with shaming the shameful?
    This episode was inspired by a post I read over the break with the clickbait headline, "How Should I Tell People a Shameful Secret About My Dog?" The question itself was interesting, but it was the response the columnist gave that really got my hackles up. I’m not going to be talking specifically about the issue the post brought up, but more about the dynamics that played out on the page that we can all learn from.
    Learn more about the podcast, listen to the archives, get info about leaving a review, and submit your listener question at www.howcanisaythis.com. Thanks for listening!

    • 20 min
    Ep59: Working with Disrespectful Colleagues (Listener Question)

    Ep59: Working with Disrespectful Colleagues (Listener Question)

    Being successful in our professional lives depends on lots of people agreeing on certain principles. Show up on time. Follow through. Take your responsibilities seriously. Respect your boss and your colleagues. But what do you do if those shared expectations are violated? Our question this episode: How do you behave when your direct report behaves disrespectfully and refuses to acknowledge that you found the behavior disrespectful?
    This episode features a listener question about working with a disrespectful colleague. The ideas I offer certainly apply in a professional setting, but I hope they also might be useful in any relationship where it feels like respect and lack thereof is a problem. I also share a couple of must-listen podcast recommendations if you want to better understand your fellow humans.
    Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information at howcanisaythis.com. Ratings, reviews, and shares always welcome! Subscribe to always receive the latest episodes. Thanks for listening!

    • 26 min
    Ep58: Making Your Private Beliefs Public

    Ep58: Making Your Private Beliefs Public

    On February 20, 1954, Albert Einstein said the following during an address to the Chicago Decalogue Society: “…in long intervals I have expressed an opinion on public issues whenever they appeared to me so bad and unfortunate that silence would have made me feel guilty of complicity.” As a public figure with a particular reputation and credibility to maintain, Einstein had to weigh the pros and cons of making his private opinions public. Not everyone feels they have the luxury of making a choice, and you don’t have to be Einstein to know that sharing your positions and views can backfire in today’s especially volatile environment.
    Our question this episode: how do we decide when to publicly speak out or stay silent about our personal views?
    This question of, “should I be telling them this?” is important to leaders, business owners, teachers, lawyers, doctors, and other professionals who often are expected to have a certain neutrality when it comes to their public personas.
    Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info at howcanisaythis.com. Your ratings, reviews and shares are encouraged and welcome! Thanks!

    • 21 min
    Ep57: Avoiding Conflict During Thanksgiving

    Ep57: Avoiding Conflict During Thanksgiving

    It’s that time of year, when we look forward to food, drink, and time with people we care about. It’s also when we might dread time with people we care about, because that time is filled with talking, and that talking might go in directions that cause conflict. And no, I’m not talking about debating who will win the big game or which movie you want to watch. While Thanksgiving 2016 was probably the most stressful in recent memory for families and friends with differing political views, the Thanksgiving of 2019 is likely to be a close second.
    Our question this episode: how can we come together when our views threaten to drive us apart?
    Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information at www.howcanisaythis.com. Your reviews, ratings and shares are always appreciated!

    • 14 min
    Ep56: Staying Civil on Social Media

    Ep56: Staying Civil on Social Media

    Once upon a time, if we were upset or disagreed with a person, policy or decision, our thoughts on the matter rippled out maybe as far as our second- or third-degree connections, but not much further. Things moved fairly slowly, and we could generally trust our information sources. But now, almost everyone, with a single click on the word “post” or “tweet,” can share their thoughts with friends and strangers alike, and we can unknowingly spread misinformation or rumors that have the potential to harm others. And if we take the bait when others post provocative content, any possibility of civility goes out the window.
    Our question this episode: what are some best practices to help us engage constructively with one another on social media, rather than destructively?
    Hosted by Beth L Buelow, PCC. More information at howcanisaythis.com. Subscribe to stay updated on future episodes. Your shares, reviews and ratings help spread the word and bring more courageous conversations to the world!

    • 22 min
    Ep55: De-Escalating Internal Anger

    Ep55: De-Escalating Internal Anger

    There are lots of mantras I live by, including "I’m open to outcome, not attached," and "I can handle whatever happens." I’ve recently adopted a new mantra based on some recent experiences – experiences that have found me angry and upset – and it’s such a good I have to share it. Our question this episode: what can we do when we’re so mad we can hardly see straight?
    Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info at www.howcanisaythis.com. You can support this podcast through your ratings, reviews, shares, and subscription. Thanks for listening!

    • 15 min

Customer Reviews

KR podcasts ,

Great perspective!

Beth is a master at crafting what to say- if you are ever struggling with finding the right words, this is an excellent short form podcast to help you with ideas- it is one of her superpowers!

Caren Messing ,

Thank you addressing my submitted question

I am thankful that you included my question on your podcast (regarding giving feedback about hygiene) and appreciate the dynamic and multifaceted discussion that ensued.
As a massage teacher (and massage practitioner) for 26 years the multiple layers of considerations you and your colleague unpacked on your podcast shed light on the matter with nuanced compassion and insight.
Oftentimes, that which is central to this communication can become even more ‘charged’ due to power differentials whether within the classroom (teacher/student) or in the massage therapy context (provider/massage recipient) not to mention in ‘egalitarian’ relationships.
It is not easy to model the communication for others to appreciate let alone stay present in the flow of the communication itself when directly conveying the sensitive feedback in the actual situation.
Beth Buelow and her guest refreshingly brainstorm a variety of points of view with mental poise and acumen.
The audio quality of this podcast is
top-notch — transitions are seamless and smooth and engenders an aesthetically appealing sound-space; it creates an ambience that fosters the listeners’ capacity to ‘tune in’ in both mind and heart.
The subject matters that are addressed are fecund and it is difficult not to digress while unpacking these topics— and the editing prowess that goes into streamlining these dynamic discussions can not be taken for granted. Not an easy task when grappling with content as richly layered as Beth Buelow and her guests tackle.
I hope your podcast continues to gain momentum and a broad listenership.
Respectfully,
Caren
(NYC)

lkrkjb ,

Excellent podcast and interviewer

Wow! I really love this podcast, and I'm extremely choosy when it comes to podcasts. Super helpful, excellent content, and just what the world needs right now. Beth is a fantastic interviewer. I subscribed so I won't miss anything!

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