64 episodes

The “How Can I Say This…” podcast offers tips and advice for interpersonal communications challenges, such as difficult conversations, conflict, giving and receiving feedback, negotiating, and other situations where what you say and how you say it makes all the difference.
Your host is Beth Buelow, PCC, founder of ZOPA Consulting and author of “The Introvert Entrepreneur: Amplify Your Strengths and Create Success on Your Own Terms.” Beth’s credentialed professional coach and trained mediator. She loves finding the “Zone of Possible Agreement” (ZOPA!) in any situation that comes her way. She hosted The Introvert Entrepreneur Podcast from 2010-2018.
In every episode of "How Can I Say This...", you’ll find ideas about how to handle your communication conundrums; tips on feeling more confident and comfortable with conflict; opportunities to learn from real-life situations through questions shared by listeners; and ultimately, gain skills and techniques for dealing with sticky situations at work and home. Of course, we can’t be all talk and no action; each show will end with an invitation to try a particular technique or approach that came up in the episode.
Episodes will feature a mixture of commentary, listener questions, and expert guest interviews and contributions. The scope of conversation will evolve over time… we’re open to seeing where this goes. Thanks for joining us on the journey!

How Can I Say This... Beth Buelow

    • Society & Culture

The “How Can I Say This…” podcast offers tips and advice for interpersonal communications challenges, such as difficult conversations, conflict, giving and receiving feedback, negotiating, and other situations where what you say and how you say it makes all the difference.
Your host is Beth Buelow, PCC, founder of ZOPA Consulting and author of “The Introvert Entrepreneur: Amplify Your Strengths and Create Success on Your Own Terms.” Beth’s credentialed professional coach and trained mediator. She loves finding the “Zone of Possible Agreement” (ZOPA!) in any situation that comes her way. She hosted The Introvert Entrepreneur Podcast from 2010-2018.
In every episode of "How Can I Say This...", you’ll find ideas about how to handle your communication conundrums; tips on feeling more confident and comfortable with conflict; opportunities to learn from real-life situations through questions shared by listeners; and ultimately, gain skills and techniques for dealing with sticky situations at work and home. Of course, we can’t be all talk and no action; each show will end with an invitation to try a particular technique or approach that came up in the episode.
Episodes will feature a mixture of commentary, listener questions, and expert guest interviews and contributions. The scope of conversation will evolve over time… we’re open to seeing where this goes. Thanks for joining us on the journey!

    These 7 Words are Undermining Your Effectiveness

    These 7 Words are Undermining Your Effectiveness

    When we think of forming new habits, our minds go to the obvious – changing what we eat, how much we exercise, what time we go to bed or get up in the morning, deciding to meditate. Those are all good habits to pay attention to, and there’s one more to add that can change your life just as much. Our question this episode: which small word choices make a huge difference in the effectiveness of our communication?
    You can find past episodes, find out how to leave a review, and learn more about the show at howcanisaythis.com. Thanks for listening!

    • 14 min
    Humor: Helpful or Harmful?

    Humor: Helpful or Harmful?

    There are many ways to evaluate the health of a social connection. We know to notice eye contact, body language, tone of voice and balance of listening and talking. But what about laughter? We intuitively know that when we laugh together, there’s a high probability we like one another or have something in common. It can also signal discomfort, a power indifference, or low self-esteem. Our question this episode: what are the ways laughter and humor advance or distract from our communication?
    Part one of two.
    Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. Thanks for listening! To access past episodes, learn how to leave a review, or contact Beth, visit howcanisaythis.com.

    • 17 min
    Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety with Michelle Barry Franco

    Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety with Michelle Barry Franco

    There’s a widely circulated saying that people fear public speaking more than death. That funny but misguided bit of trivia distracts us from the opportunity we have whenever we’re given the literal or metaphorical microphone and invited to share our thoughts.
    Our question this episode: what strategies for overcoming public speaking anxiety can help us be better communicators?
    If you don’t consider yourself a public speaker, I invite you to think again. I can’t remember who planted this idea in my head, but there’s truth to it: we are all public speakers, every day. Whenever we open our mouths to speak to someone, we are communicating publicly with the intention of being persuasive, giving or receiving information, or accomplishing a goal. You don’t have to be on a stage or behind a podium to carry yourself and your voice with authority. My guest today is Michelle Barry Franco, and she shares strategies that help you speaking from the stage with ease also apply to having more courageous everyday conversations.
    Find more information, past episodes, and submit your communication question at howcanisaythis.com.

    • 31 min
    Ep61: Words Create Worlds

    Ep61: Words Create Worlds

    "Almost all words do have color and nothing is more pleasant than to utter a pink word and see someone's eyes light up and know it is a pink word for him or her, too." ~Gladys Taber
    Our words are paint strokes on the canvas of life – sounds cheesy, but it’s true. We create a certain picture with every word we choose, both in thinking and speaking. Our question this episode: what world are we creating with our words?
     
    How Can I Say This… is a podcast focused on building connection and community through courageous conversations. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information and archives at howcanisaythis.com. Your reviews, ratings and shares are welcome and help this community grow!

    • 23 min
    Ep60: Ending the Shame Game

    Ep60: Ending the Shame Game

    You’ve messed up. You feel embarrassed, you know what you did was a mistake, and you own up to it. You say you’re sorry. And even though you acknowledge it, the other person still wants to chew you out. They want to make sure you know how badly you’ve screwed up. It feels terrible, and you shut down.
    Our question this episode: what’s the harm with shaming the shameful?
    This episode was inspired by a post I read over the break with the clickbait headline, "How Should I Tell People a Shameful Secret About My Dog?" The question itself was interesting, but it was the response the columnist gave that really got my hackles up. I’m not going to be talking specifically about the issue the post brought up, but more about the dynamics that played out on the page that we can all learn from.
    Learn more about the podcast, listen to the archives, get info about leaving a review, and submit your listener question at www.howcanisaythis.com. Thanks for listening!

    • 20 min
    Ep59: Working with Disrespectful Colleagues (Listener Question)

    Ep59: Working with Disrespectful Colleagues (Listener Question)

    Being successful in our professional lives depends on lots of people agreeing on certain principles. Show up on time. Follow through. Take your responsibilities seriously. Respect your boss and your colleagues. But what do you do if those shared expectations are violated? Our question this episode: How do you behave when your direct report behaves disrespectfully and refuses to acknowledge that you found the behavior disrespectful?
    This episode features a listener question about working with a disrespectful colleague. The ideas I offer certainly apply in a professional setting, but I hope they also might be useful in any relationship where it feels like respect and lack thereof is a problem. I also share a couple of must-listen podcast recommendations if you want to better understand your fellow humans.
    Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information at howcanisaythis.com. Ratings, reviews, and shares always welcome! Subscribe to always receive the latest episodes. Thanks for listening!

    • 26 min

Customer Reviews

KR podcasts ,

Great perspective!

Beth is a master at crafting what to say- if you are ever struggling with finding the right words, this is an excellent short form podcast to help you with ideas- it is one of her superpowers!

Caren Messing ,

Thank you addressing my submitted question

I am thankful that you included my question on your podcast (regarding giving feedback about hygiene) and appreciate the dynamic and multifaceted discussion that ensued.
As a massage teacher (and massage practitioner) for 26 years the multiple layers of considerations you and your colleague unpacked on your podcast shed light on the matter with nuanced compassion and insight.
Oftentimes, that which is central to this communication can become even more ‘charged’ due to power differentials whether within the classroom (teacher/student) or in the massage therapy context (provider/massage recipient) not to mention in ‘egalitarian’ relationships.
It is not easy to model the communication for others to appreciate let alone stay present in the flow of the communication itself when directly conveying the sensitive feedback in the actual situation.
Beth Buelow and her guest refreshingly brainstorm a variety of points of view with mental poise and acumen.
The audio quality of this podcast is
top-notch — transitions are seamless and smooth and engenders an aesthetically appealing sound-space; it creates an ambience that fosters the listeners’ capacity to ‘tune in’ in both mind and heart.
The subject matters that are addressed are fecund and it is difficult not to digress while unpacking these topics— and the editing prowess that goes into streamlining these dynamic discussions can not be taken for granted. Not an easy task when grappling with content as richly layered as Beth Buelow and her guests tackle.
I hope your podcast continues to gain momentum and a broad listenership.
Respectfully,
Caren
(NYC)

lkrkjb ,

Excellent podcast and interviewer

Wow! I really love this podcast, and I'm extremely choosy when it comes to podcasts. Super helpful, excellent content, and just what the world needs right now. Beth is a fantastic interviewer. I subscribed so I won't miss anything!

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