Sum On Sleeve Podcast Katharine Chan

All of us know at least a dozen people who do not share all of our beliefs. With over 7 billion of us, there is bound to be conflict. I can agree to disagree on topics like the correct way of hanging toilet paper or whether pineapple is an acceptable pizza topping (it is, btw).

The bottom line is that if the point of contention isn’t something close to my heart, I’m not going to fight over it. I don’t like camping, drinking, online shopping, watching sports or doing anything in the snow. I don’t care if you do and won’t bat an eye if you try to convince me otherwise.

But I can’t stand being around a person who has beliefs that I used to hold. I’ve spent years unlearning and shedding them through painful experiences, growth and adversity. So when I interact with someone who has these old beliefs, I can’t help but feel haunted. Then I’m angry at myself for letting something that I thought I’d grown from affect me.

I’m a recovering perfectionist who is trying to accept her flaws and own her shortcomings. Perfectionism is in my blood; I get upset when I’m not good at embracing my imperfections. It’s like, “Why can’t I be good at forgiving myself? Letting go? Accepting mistakes? Treating myself with compassion?”

In my head, I know certain thoughts and beliefs don’t serve me, that I’ve evolved from my past self. But in my heart, I start questioning how far I’ve actually come. Perhaps I haven’t changed? Perhaps my transformation is back to square one? Perhaps these beliefs still hold me under, drowning me in a sea of insecurities and poor self-esteem.

So I’m writing down a list of old beliefs that I’ve learned to detach from over the past decade. Bringing these to the surface and exposing them to you and the world gives me something tangible to revisit and validate my efforts. Also, reading these out loud makes them seem ridiculous…almost to the brink of satire.

P.S. Check out my new personal growth toolkit! 50 Shadow Work Prompts: A Journal to Uncover Your Hidden Psyche

So Readers, let me know if any of these haunt you as they haunt me.

Listening is a life skill. Everyone knows that.

We’ve all seen self-help gurus, thought leaders, TED talks, psychologists and the latest news and research share how we should all be listening more than we speak…especially in a society where attention is scarce and distractions are plentiful. Everything seems to be TL;DR.

Listening skills are crucial for developing strong relationships. I mean it’s hard to make friends when you don’t know anything about them. If all you can hear is your voice throughout your interactions, you don’t have a friend…you have a sounding board.

If you told your partner your deepest darkest secret and they didn’t listen…how would you feel?

Or what if you explicitly tell them that you were deathly allergic to shellfish Then they take you to an all-you-can-eat shrimp fest for your birthday…wouldn’t you be inclined to leave them? Or perhaps watching all those true crime documentaries would have you wondering if they might be plotting your murder?

Listening skills are crucial for work. For instance, if all a teacher did was preach and lecture, how would they know their students are learning? If you didn’t listen to a client’s specifications and needs, how well would your business be?

Do you know what can ruin your day? When the waitress doesn’t listen to your order and adds a prawn chowder to your meal.

But the problem is...

So Listeners, are you a good listener? Do you ever feel burdened by your superpower?

Need help processing emotions and writing down your thoughts? Check out my 60 Feelings to Feel: A Journal To Identify Your Emotions

When we accomplish a goal, reach a dream, or win a fortune…how do our past and conditions affect the way we share that type of information?

Recently, I’ve been pondering about how we decide to share the good news we have in our lives. From inflation, global warming, an ongoing war and of course, that pesky pandemic we’re still trudging through…the world seems rather quite bleak right now. Good news can uplift others, inspire and even create more kindness in the world.

But for me, when something good happens, I’m reluctant to scream it out loud at the top of my lungs.

Full Transcript here

It’s been almost six months since I left my 9–5 job to become a freelance writer. Here are a few things I’ve experienced so far:

Full Transcript here 

The most common and basic rule about being a successful writer is to keep writing. But since starting my freelance writing journey, my desire to write for pay has slowly taken over my desire to write for pleasure.

Before freelancing, I would sit in front of my laptop and write and write until I ran out of time. Like my son would wake up or I would need to get dinner started. Time would fly by because my writing was merely a hobby.

I wasn’t being asked to write an article because I wanted money for it. I was writing for the sake of writing, putting thoughts and feelings down so that I had an outlet to express myself. I was pumping articles out left, right and centre. I didn’t care about how much time I was spending on writing because I wasn’t worried about the dollar amount tied to it.

Now, since I started making some money doing this, I feel like I only want to write when I’m getting paid to do it.

Full Transcript Here

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my old dreams so I wrote an entire list that I’ve given up on despite thinking they’ll make me happy. Through that reflection exercise, I realized there are some old ones I’d like to revisit and some new ones I’d like to pursue. 

Here are 8 Dreams I’m Holding Onto For Now

Never say never…
Full Transcript here