Kagro in the Morning David Waldman

David Waldman brings the Tuesday energy today and leaves it all on the KITM court.
Donald Trump demands mandatory attendance to his Fertilization Party. NH Gop Jess Edwards wants that party packed with young girls, ripe for the picking.
Israel is agreeing to a “cease-fire”, but not a crash-diet on their end, maybe a few cheat days, a fun-size bombing or two just to taper off. 
Young voters might not like this, but they don’t like a lot of things.
Hillel International used to be a welcoming campus organization for Jews, but paradoxically, with big donors came big debts.
Stormy Daniels thankfully didn’t have to confirm everything at today’s Von ShitzinPants trial, but she is on the stand to confirm enough… probably. We are still a long way from the verdict, even if it’s only a few weeks from now.
Jack Smith will show that Trump valet Walt Nauta texted photos of some classified documents that his boss stole. That would be damning evidence, if there ever was a trial. Aileen Cannon might not know how to be a judge, but she has reached the Supreme Court level in coyness.
Is Henry Cuellar just like George Santos, or Bob Menendez? Donald Trump can tell you, they’re all being picked on because they’re Republicans.

Today, David Waldman reminds us that there’s only 364 shopping days until Eastern Orthodox Easter, while Greg Dworkin oars his Raft O’Stories™  down the Mighty KITM onto the shoals of big Monday.
Donald Trump calls for the arrests of people who irk him on a daily basis, but he only hints at their assassinations. If you are one of Trump’s VP contenders, which one do you promote? Krisi Noem has clearly chosen her path to victory, while Tim Scott has much more of a wait and see attitude.
Marjorie Taylor Greene needed some cash, so she took out a hit on Mike Johnson. Some want him to stay, or leave, or don’t care. No one should expect Mike to persuade or organize anyone in any way.
Lauren Boebert went to George Washington University in an attempt to reach around to students, but was surprised on how darn quickly they get pumped up. 
The historic Von Shitzinpants v. New York trial heads into yet another week with yet another guilty verdict. Donald Trump might finally get what he deserves yet. Trump’s lawyers say that of course Trump has always lied to you, but just not this time… promise! Hope Hicks, how does she do it?
183 days until the election and President Joe Biden does not have the lead, except in the only way that counts. Over in the UK, the voter Brexit continues for the Tories.
Israel proposes a cease fire with Hamas, plus just a tiny bit of extra bombing in Rafah… might as well use those extra bombs while they have them.
The Foundation for Jewish Campus Life, also known as Hillel International, used to be a sleepy little oasis for students who missed aspects of their culture. But nobody hasn’t taken some side anymore.

May the Third be with you! You’re always a little ahead of the curve with David Waldman and KITM!
Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on Jordan Epperson, another local right wing nutjob running for office in Ottawa County, not so controversial for his nutjobness, but for being a prettyboy hire, although he did build his nutjob bona fides over time… Whoops, he’s already out.
How does Don Von ShitzinPants do it? If anyone knows Donald Trump’s dirty little and big secrets, it’s Hope Hicks, whose job was to steam Donald’s pants even before he did it on his own.
If you think most voters mind the cops busting up protesters, then you don’t know most voters. Republicans know that when it comes to protesters, voters want to MAGA.
Somewhere along the incel spectrum lie "Tradwives", ostensibly virgin/whores for their Traddads, but actually in intense competition for each other’s envy and admiration. Makeup, diet, cleaning and decorating tips are traded and copied, along with conspiracy theories, fearmongering, and fundamental religion. Some are attempting to reduce tradwife impact through satire and ridicule, but trads are probably pretty impervious to that.  That’s why they are such a good fit for Donald Trump, but probably an even better fit for RFK Jr.
A Girl Scout won a Gold Award for creating a library of banned books, then mention of  her commendation got cancelled.

May day, again! On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin perform many of the rarely heard verses of “I’m Just a Bill”, along with that old dance hit, the “Motion to Recommit”. If the Gop thinks they can shut up Marjorie Taylor Greene, then they might have something there.
Twelve departing lawmakers tell us what Congress is really like… well, maybe not like Matt Gaetz could tell you.
The trial of Sleepy Don, TFG, TFFG, TFFFG, Baron Von ShitzinPantz… really, if we had to herald all of Trump’s royal ranks and titles, Trump could be able to delay the trial for days.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump humbly asks the American people for another chance to be their dictator, promising to be much more dictatory this time around. Tears in their eyes, America thanks Donald for granting them the lawlessness they’ve always so richly deserved. Unfortunately for Trump, Tradwife influencers are kind of kooks, and that demographic is owned by RFK Jr. 
Colleges across the US have been ruminating on when the best time is to call in the cops to crack down and crack heads. U.C.L.A. regrets enrolling those hippies in the first place. What’s wrong with being patriotic and dressing to impress like some of the kids? 

Hooray! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have heard our May day calls and are steaming our way with a huge Raft O’ Stories™.
Today’s protest generation is probably sincere, probably thoughtful, but are they really being politically savvy? If not, then apparently, the Columbia University Department of Political Science is a worthless sham. How can so many young people, on campuses across the nation, not have their focus honed into a single soundbite? It’s terribly confusing to the older people.
 
Columbia University sent the New York Police in to round up student demonstrators rather than divesting from companies with ties to Israel, because divesture is just too complex of a subject to describe to the youngsters, and apparently, the Columbia Business School is another worthless sham.
 
Who wants peace and Palestinian rights anyhow? Well, for one example, a lot of Zionists do.
 
Back to Donald Trump. Donald figures that if he can only score a little jail time, his lawyers will finally quit their nudging him awake so he might get a little rest. Trump dreams of being a dictator, with an endless stable of liars and lunatics at his beck and call. Trump said as much in his talk with TIME magazine, if you call what Trump does as “talking”.
 
Gops hate Democrats so much that they’re rejecting democracy… or vice versa.
 
Gop Don Bacon resolved to shake his fist at Dem Ilhan Omar.
 
Hakeem Jeffries is out there trying to save his old pal Mike Johnson from Mike’s old pal Marjorie Taylor Greene.

If we were to only elect a good Kennedy, the House situation could look a little better.

It’s Tuesday, and David Waldman presents the finale of our KITM Holiday MarathonⓊ, with Special Tuesday guest Joan McCarter over in the KITM Book Corner.
We continue under the clouds of mass shooting, this time with 8 police shot, 4 dead, and a couple of AR-15s used for their designed intent.
Columbia University students are packing into Hind’s (né Hamilton) Hall hungry for knowledge and debate, and posing many questions: Are Zionists anti-Palestinian? Are pro-Palestinians antisemites? Are anti-Zionists anti-Semites or anti-diaspora? Luckily, pedants are always on hand to assist.
Yeehaw! Howard Dean is thinking of making a comeback, now that the retail media is a bit less picky on candidate decorum.In the meantime, Donald Trump plans to kill everyone, although half of everyone still believe that he isn’t referring to “them”. Some Republicans are still idiot enough to believe that he is only referring to “you”. Perhaps Joe Biden could use a little of that presidential immunity about now, at least on the Supreme Court.
Meanwhile, TFFG has been fined NINE BIG ONES by New York Judge Merchan. That’ll straighten him out.
This kind of stuff happens everywhere. Germany allowed ex-soldiers, pretend royalty, astrologers and master chefs to get pretty far in their overthrow plot before deciding to crack down. 
Citizens United cleared the way for the biggest political bribery scandal in Ohio history, and it takes a pretty big one in Ohio to cause enough of a stink to get any prosecutions. People connected to it are now dropping like Russian plutocrats.